Just need to vent

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  • opus649
    opus649 Posts: 633 Member
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    Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

    Albert Einstein

    4835f5cfdc4709cbd181840ec9e16f16.jpg
  • bagge72
    bagge72 Posts: 1,377 Member
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    To lose weight you have to eat at a deficit.

    To eat at a deficit you have to know how much you are eating.

    To know how much you are eating you have to weigh and measure everything you eat.

    The first sentence is true, the second and third are not. You need a deficit for fat loss. That is ALL you need. How is personal preference.

    Every word here is very true! You cannot correct a correct post. There are many ways to lose weight and people have their own way of doing so. This is one of them.

    So, you feel that you must correct this why? To prove a point? To feel bigger?

    Because this is a way to lose weight and your way is without calorie counting, does not make either your way or her way incorrect.

    So many people getting upset because they were wrong. Need2Exerc1se is right, that post is wrong, you do not have to count calories to be in a deficit no matter what you or the other people who believe this have to say. You simply have to eat less than you burn to be in a deficit. She never said that not counting is the best approach, just that it is wrong to state that you HAVE to count calories to be in a deficit. Your body doesn't need a calculator, it decides all on it's just by what you put in your mouth, and by what you burn during the day. It's like telling somebody that the store is a mile away, but they can't drive there, because they don't know how far a mile is. That isn't true, they can just drive until they get to the store, and if they think they went to far they can turn around. Same thing with food, if you don't want to count calories then it is trial and error, you keep adjusting the amount you eat until you start to lose weight.

    In the case of the OP she clearly needs to count calories, because even though she maybe eating healthy (who knows what that is) she is eating too much of that healthy food, and is having trouble adjusting the amount she eats. This has happened to a lot of us before we found this site, we lose a little weight one day, and think we know what to do, so we eat better food, but eat a lot of it, and pretend we don't know why we aren't losing weight. Or we go out, and have a beer here, or it's somebodies birthday so it's ok to eat what you want.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
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    Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

    Albert Einstein

    4835f5cfdc4709cbd181840ec9e16f16.jpg

    I'm pretty sure it was Neitzsche who said "to quote is human; to quote correctly, divine."
  • jade2112
    jade2112 Posts: 272 Member
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    I have to disagree with you when you say gaining weight while pregnant is necessary. Baby weight and fluid weight is necessary, but fat is not.

    I weighed three pounds less with the birth of my first and one pound less with my second. Saying you got "fat" while pregnant is a cop out.

    Sorry, but when I hear someone say that it just gets my back up.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
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    I have to disagree with you when you say gaining weight while pregnant is necessary. Baby weight and fluid weight is necessary, but fat is not.

    I weighed three pounds less with the birth of my first and one pound less with my second. Saying you got "fat" while pregnant is a cop out.

    Sorry, but when I hear someone say that it just gets my back up.

    She said gaining weight is necessary, but when did she say gaining fat was necessary?
  • theresamichelle78
    theresamichelle78 Posts: 27
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    I have to disagree with you when you say gaining weight while pregnant is necessary. Baby weight and fluid weight is necessary, but fat is not.

    I weighed three pounds less with the birth of my first and one pound less with my second. Saying you got "fat" while pregnant is a cop out.

    Sorry, but when I hear someone say that it just gets my back up.

    I am trying to figure out where I said either of those things. Someone said that you don't have to gain if you are overweight, and I said that is technically true, and pointed out that even though I was overweight, I gained what the Dr wanted. I said that it was correct that overweight people don't have to, but that I gained within my range, and that there is nothing wrong with that. I gained what the Dr. wanted. So, before you get your back up, make sure that you read it right. ;)
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
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    Wow, walked in late to the party again!
    OP have you sought a doctor to see if you have postpartum?? You have a very negative attitude right now with a lot of I can't and I don't want to in there. You've lost weight before, you know that caloric deficit = weight loss. You know what needs to happen and you make the choice to put in the work or not. Congrats on the baby.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    deleted my post.

    Sorry OP, I should not have let myself be baited like that. My apology. I hope you find the right path for you.

    No one baited you. This is what you do in any thread you enter.

    OP...I posted a link earlier, there's a lot of good info there. They might even help you find the motivation. Some people also read a lot of the success stories and that motivates them.

    Because there have been a lot of posts I'll post that link again

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help

    Totally missed that before. I will check it out.

    One thing I noticed is that people latched on to my negative comment, but no one replied when I said I had lost 90+ lbs with WW 13 years ago or so. I gained that back plus some extra weight. I have the mind set of, "it doesn't matter anyway, because I will only gain it back." I was what one would call thin for about 2 years. Then I was slightly overweight for a few years. Then I was fat again. I have a hard time believing that I can actually be successful at it. If I couldn't keep off even part of the 90+ pounds I lost, I won't be able to keep anything off. I maintained for a few years, than it all fell apart. (After I lived in Scotland for a month and ate whatever I wanted because I walked all the time and figured it didn't matter anymore). That is were I am with weight loss I guess.

    This is a very common tale. Most people who lose weight don't keep it off long term. That's a fact. Most of the people on this site who have lost or are losing will not keep it off long term.

    Those are dire facts, but it shouldn't keep us from trying. Because what is the alternative? Give up? What good will that do?

    I have plenty on my FL who have maintained for years. It can be done. The reason most people gain the weight back is because they look at this like a diet, they do this just until they reach their goal. After that then what? You have to plan for that. That is why so many of us suggest stop calling it a diet, make lifestyle changes, we advocate not labeling food as good/bad, do not deny yourself foods you love, it's about moderation not deprivation.

    OP a lot of people do the 80/20 thing. 80% food 20% treats.

    Also OP, you aren't alone with having lost weight before and gaining it back. I've been there. The thing is you CAN lose it again. You have to believe in yourself, you have to believe you can do it. Get rid of negative words like can't.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
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    To lose weight you have to eat at a deficit.

    To eat at a deficit you have to know how much you are eating.

    To know how much you are eating you have to weigh and measure everything you eat.

    The first sentence is true, the second and third are not. You need a deficit for fat loss. That is ALL you need. How is personal preference.

    Every word here is very true! You cannot correct a correct post. There are many ways to lose weight and people have their own way of doing so. This is one of them.

    So, you feel that you must correct this why? To prove a point? To feel bigger?

    Because this is a way to lose weight and your way is without calorie counting, does not make either your way or her way incorrect.

    So many people getting upset because they were wrong. Need2Exerc1se is right, that post is wrong, you do not have to count calories to be in a deficit no matter what you or the other people who believe this have to say. You simply have to eat less than you burn to be in a deficit. She never said that not counting is the best approach, just that it is wrong to state that you HAVE to count calories to be in a deficit. Your body doesn't need a calculator, it decides all on it's just by what you put in your mouth, and by what you burn during the day. It's like telling somebody that the store is a mile away, but they can't drive there, because they don't know how far a mile is. That isn't true, they can just drive until they get to the store, and if they think they went to far they can turn around. Same thing with food, if you don't want to count calories then it is trial and error, you keep adjusting the amount you eat until you start to lose weight.

    In the case of the OP she clearly needs to count calories, because even though she maybe eating healthy (who knows what that is) she is eating too much of that healthy food, and is having trouble adjusting the amount she eats. This has happened to a lot of us before we found this site, we lose a little weight one day, and think we know what to do, so we eat better food, but eat a lot of it, and pretend we don't know why we aren't losing weight. Or we go out, and have a beer here, or it's somebodies birthday so it's ok to eat what you want.

    First off, No one was upset (except evidently the people who don't like that I used the word have) and I really don't think Need2Exercise needs anyone to defend her.
    Secondly, You're really going to start up this up again because I used the word have? Really?
    Lastly, All of this has already been covered pages ago. So I would suggest maybe reading the whole thread.

    I still stand by what I said. I said it because that's the advice I was giving to the OP. Which you agree that she needs to count calories. So I'm sorry if you think I was wrong, I was advising the OP of this thread.

    If you want to debate about word usage, I'd suggest starting up your own thread because any more and this is hijacking.

    OP - check out the success stories in the forums. They also may help you in changing your mindset to believing you can do it. There are some incredible and inspiring stories there.
  • pplastics
    pplastics Posts: 135 Member
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    If you are only running to lose weight, but you do not like running, choose another exercise! Do something you enjoy that will help you burn extra calories.

    Keep track of how many calories you actually eat. It is easy to overeat even on "non junk" food. At least do this for a few weeks to have a better understanding of what eating X number of calories feels like.

    If you are going to use no results as an excuse to quit, be ready to quit many more times in the future. Not every week will be a winner in the battle of the scale. You have to be ready and willing to plow through the weeks when the scale just won't budge.
  • baconslave
    baconslave Posts: 6,967 Member
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    I have 4 kids, and I'm giving you my short 2 cents. Losing weight is all on you. That's the bad news. And that is the good news. That means you have the power. You have the power to make it happen. You want it for you. You want it for your children. Use the tool you have here and grab it. Work it. Track. Every day. Stick with it. Time + persistence = success.

    h92678C98
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
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    well, I tried to help, even told her what my Dr told me, but I think she just puts her head in the sand........Its not about looking hot in a certain dress as much as it is so important that she work towards doing it for herself and her children

    then she starts in on me, say that I said she doesnt care for her children......I NEVER said that, I just informed her that I knew one girl who just had a stroke in our office, and that she was morbidly obese......her family is devasatated , and the other was that I was in elementary school with a girl who lost her mom to obesity, and the daughter took after her mom, and now shes in the same boat

    then she trears into me, only when I was trying to help her.....yes, some people stated her negative attitude, of which I agree.........were only trying to help her , but oh no , she has to be nasty..

    sorry I ever said a word to her...........I hope , sincerely, she gets help, some one said she needs counselling.............
  • parkscs
    parkscs Posts: 1,639 Member
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    First off, No one was upset (except evidently the people who don't like that I used the word have) and I really don't think Need2Exercise needs anyone to defend her.
    Secondly, You're really going to start up this up again because I used the word have? Really?
    Lastly, All of this has already been covered pages ago. So I would suggest maybe reading the whole thread.

    I still stand by what I said. I said it because that's the advice I was giving to the OP. Which you agree that she needs to count calories. So I'm sorry if you think I was wrong, I was advising the OP of this thread.

    If you want to debate about word usage, I'd suggest starting up your own thread because any more and this is hijacking.

    That's the problem with prose; word choice matters. They're right your statements beyond achieving a caloric deficit were inaccurate, but it's similar to correcting someone's grammar; yes, they're overstatements but correcting them doesn't really help the OP.
  • caracrawford1
    caracrawford1 Posts: 657 Member
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    Op...I think you'll reach a point at which you are done with carrying your extra weight--when you get frustrated and upset/angry about it enough to really take the bull by the horns and make the necessary changes. When you get to that point well also be ready to help you get to where you want to be.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    So, I haven't posted in any forum in years. But I just have to vent today. I lost about 40 pounds over the course of 2 years using mfp. I got pregnant and gained about 30 back (which was kind of necessary ;) ). My son is 15 months old, and I weigh as much as I did when he was born. Lately, we have been eating less and eating healthier, but there has been no change in the scale or how I look. This summer, I took up running.....no change. How can one run 3 times a week and not see a change??? So, I quit.

    I feel so fat and yucky, and I don't even feel like I want to continue anymore. It's like nothing changes. I don't want to count calories, because we have been trying to eat better foods, which means no low fat junk filled with bad things. I don't do low fat, so I eat less. I just needed to express this in writing. If running doesn't make a difference, why even bother.

    I notice you have gotten a ton of advice, but since you're here just to vent, well here you go: "Oh, that's really terrible".

    You're welcome.
  • soosun
    soosun Posts: 128
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    You seem to have unrealistic expectations.
    I went to a personal trainer twice a week for an hour and ugh it was hard, and she said it would take six months before there would be a visible change.
    I also lost 25 lbs during the process and no one said anything about my weight loss cause I had so much to lose it didn't even show. Ouch and I thought I was being so noble.....hahaha
    If you exercise no matter what type you do you have to do it every single day for at least 30 minutes for at least 6 months.
    We all expect instant weight loss and seem to have no paitence if the weight just doesn't fall off because we want it to.
    When you are ready you will make the whole effort, but if you are not just enjoy where you are with your family and friends and go from there. No one is making you do this so you shouldn't complain. Just saying.
  • No_More_Waiting
    No_More_Waiting Posts: 10
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    Most have already said it, but you need to be counting calories even if you aren't eating "junk". As one person said, " healthy food has calories too", and you need to make sure you are in a deficit between weight consumed and weight burnt.

    I've felt the exact same way before. It sucks for your "hard work" to go unnoticed. But, sometimes, that means you just have to work harder. I'm just now learning this, after finally realizing that I want it.... You'll have to want it too before you see a difference.
  • Liketanyanot
    Liketanyanot Posts: 1 Member
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    Definitely get your thyroid checked and go to an integrative medical specialist; pregnancy is one of the most common ways women can develop thyroid imbalance and not even know it. I thought I was treating my thyroid disease properly for years, turns out I wasn't- get your T3 ***AND**** T4 levels checked and make sure like I said it's through an integrative medical specialist, my mainstream doctor didn't do jack squat, he only looked at one of the levels and ignored the other, that's what a lot of traditional AMA approved docs do- the integrative specialist however saw immediately that something was very wrong and got my dosage adjusted and gave me supplements to take and now that I am on that regimen, I feel like a new woman and the weight is just pouring off of me in record time for the first time in my entire life- have lost over 12 pounds in around three weeks of this new program I am on and I feel great. PLEASE get a second, third, however many opinions before settling with a doctor you like. So many disregard and ignore women's symptoms of thyroid imbalance and don't even know what they are doing. Please consider your endocrine system and hormones are out of whack and do something about that STAT, you'll thank yourself.
  • Malteaster
    Malteaster Posts: 75 Member
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    I am in a similar situation. I got fed up counting points/calories and seeing the value of food in terms of its calorie count. Faced with this I would choose the lower calorie version irrespective of whether it was what I wanted or its nutritional value. I have also been guilty of choosing biscuits over fruit because the calorie content was similar.

    I have been trying to just eat smaller portions of unprocessed food but the scale isn't moving. I have taken note of the advice you have been given and I am going to count calories for a fortnight or so and get a rough ideal of how much I am actually eating.

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