Is excess skin removal surgery selfish?

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Replies

  • jasonmh630
    jasonmh630 Posts: 2,850 Member
    If the financial well being of your family would suffer from it, then yes it's selfish. If you sit them down and converse about it and lay out your options planning for it, then no.

    ETA: Congrats on the weight loss, though! That's a feet to be proud of!
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,834 Member
    See if the plastic surgeon offers financing...most do offer some kind of payment plan/financing option through a bank like Capital One.

    If you really want to do this, this is the time. Because once you do have a family of your own, responsibilities take over and you won't be able to.

    Don't feel bad or guilty at all! I recently had $6k worth of cosmetic dental work done - and I do have a kid! :wink:
  • jlahorn
    jlahorn Posts: 377 Member
    Most of these responses are so strange.... of COURSE this would be selfish. It's the very definition of selfish, but that's the wrong question to ask. Doing something for yourself that does not benefit anyone else isn't an inherently evil act.


    The right questions to ask are:

    1. Is cosmetic skin removal the right thing for me?
    That's entirely up to you to answer.

    2. Is it worth it to take out a loan to have the procedure done?
    Please consider this carefully. I (and any responsible financial advisor) would tell you that if you have to take out a loan for something like this, that means you really can't afford it. There are probably other things you should consider doing with your money (sorry). This is so not what you asked, I know, but please consider reading something like "Everything Personal Finance in Your 20s and 30s" (http://www.amazon.com/The-Everything-Personal-Finance-Your/dp/1598696343) before making the decision to take out a big loan.
  • jkwolly
    jkwolly Posts: 3,049 Member
    $10,000 to be much happier with your body for the rest of your life? Go for it.
    Totally agree. Peanuts in the course of your whole life.
  • PMB0404
    PMB0404 Posts: 13 Member
    I don't think it's selfish, but why would you go into debt for it??? Work extra, get a second (or third) job, save up for it, THEN have the surgery.
  • yellowsnowdrop
    yellowsnowdrop Posts: 154 Member
    Definately NOT selfish.If it were me and I'd lost the amount of weight that you lost I'd do it in a heartbeat. Life is for living and it's too short to be miserable, go for it.
  • MagnumBurrito
    MagnumBurrito Posts: 1,070 Member
    No, it's not selfish. Being happy with your body is worth a lot more than $10,000.

    See if you can get a kickstarter or some other crowd funding website to let you get help with payments.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    When it's time for plastics, I'm getting mine done outside of the USA at a fraction of the cost and it won't be the first time I've traveled outside of the country for surgery..... but anyway, that's a different topic.

    The question is: Is it selfish? If your family will starve so that mommy can have nice arms, then yes, it's selfish. Otherwise, it's no different then spending money on designer handbags or buying a car that is anything more than a sh!tbox that can get you from point A to point B.

    I wouldn't go out of the country for surgery, OP.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    By definition, I guess it is selfish. But that doesn't make it wrong or bad. This is something you need to discuss with your husband -- risks, rewards, can you afford it?

    If in the long run the pros outweigh the cons, you should probably do it.
  • newdaydawning79
    newdaydawning79 Posts: 1,503 Member
    My parents both had skin removal done after losing a ton of weight (gastric bypass in their cases) and it was covered by insurance due to risk of infections. I'd make sure you talk to the doctor about that risk before doing anything in case at least a portion of it can be taken care of that way.

    My largely uneven breasts were corrected with 50% insurance coverage due to the impacts on my back and the psychological aspect (for me they were 3 sizes different so it was a pretty obvious difference to anyone who saw me).
  • mangogirl272727
    mangogirl272727 Posts: 95 Member
    When it's time for plastics, I'm getting mine done outside of the USA at a fraction of the cost and it won't be the first time I've traveled outside of the country for surgery..... but anyway, that's a different topic.

    The question is: Is it selfish? If your family will starve so that mommy can have nice arms, then yes, it's selfish. Otherwise, it's no different then spending money on designer handbags or buying a car that is anything more than a sh!tbox that can get you from point A to point B.
    But it IS different;it's her body, and she'll live with that body for the rest of her life. It's not some object that she'll carry around for a few years.

    No one's going to have a great body "for the rest of their life." Old age and its wrinkles+ sags are a reality. Just like handbags, outer beauty doesn't last forever. Not commenting on whether OP should or should not have surgery, just pointing out a reality I feel should be acknowledged.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    I say go for it. Take out a loan and make payments. Do your research on good doctors.
  • mangogirl272727
    mangogirl272727 Posts: 95 Member
    Most of these responses are so strange.... of COURSE this would be selfish. It's the very definition of selfish, but that's the wrong question to ask. Doing something for yourself that does not benefit anyone else isn't an inherently evil act.


    The right questions to ask are:

    1. Is cosmetic skin removal the right thing for me?
    That's entirely up to you to answer.

    2. Is it worth it to take out a loan to have the procedure done?
    Please consider this carefully. I (and any responsible financial advisor) would tell you that if you have to take out a loan for something like this, that means you really can't afford it. There are probably other things you should consider doing with your money (sorry). This is so not what you asked, I know, but please consider reading something like "Everything Personal Finance in Your 20s and 30s" (http://www.amazon.com/The-Everything-Personal-Finance-Your/dp/1598696343) before making the decision to take out a big loan.

    THIS. I don't think anyone can say it is or isn't selfish without knowing your financial situation in some detail. If it puts a huge strain on your family finances, then yes it is. If you have money to spare and would be burning it elsewhere, probably not. The fact that you would have to take out a loan does seem indicative that it is something you can't truly afford. A payment plan is one thing, but loans can get you in trouble real fast. I would say wait until you have the money/financial stability and then decide.
  • mmerry5
    mmerry5 Posts: 69 Member
    Think about how much money you have already saved and will save by being the healthier you that you are. You have probably cut back on food costs by eating less over the past 3-5 years both during your loss and during maintenance. Though I know that some would argue that eating healthy is more expensive…. Plus keep in mind how much money your are saving just by being healthier. You have or will have fewer trips to the doctor. You may be off of medication or stay off medication in the future. You will be around longer to take care of and be there for your family. All of these things are sort of hidden savings, but they add up to money saved in the long haul, money that you’ve earned for this procedure that will make you a happier person. And wouldn’t your family want a happier you?!
  • BarbieAS
    BarbieAS Posts: 1,414 Member
    2. Is it worth it to take out a loan to have the procedure done?
    Please consider this carefully. I (and any responsible financial advisor) would tell you that if you have to take out a loan for something like this, that means you really can't afford it. There are probably other things you should consider doing with your money (sorry). This is so not what you asked, I know, but please consider reading something like "Everything Personal Finance in Your 20s and 30s" (http://www.amazon.com/The-Everything-Personal-Finance-Your/dp/1598696343) before making the decision to take out a big loan.

    Ehhhhhhh.....usually I'd agree, I'm very very financially conservative. But, just because someone doesn't have $10K laying around in the bank doesn't mean they don't have the ability to save up $10K over the next 5 years or whatnot - the only difference between saving it and paying a loan is the interest, and, well, that's the price you pay. And there's CERTAINLY a benefit to getting it done now over waiting until she has the money saved up.

    If the skin is negatively impacting her life that much, I don't see how it's any different from any other medical procedure that you can't pay for up front. What if she had terrible back pain and the only way to correct it was through surgery, but technically she could go on with her life and do everything she needed to do, she'd just be miserable, but her deductible for the surgery was several thousand dollars that she'd then have to pay in installments over several years because she didn't have it in hand? Should she wait to have the surgery until she's saved her portion up? No, this isn't QUITE like that either, but I'd argue that it's a lot closer to that scenario than some impulsive purchase she can't afford. This isn't like a trip to Paris or granite countertops or whatever. You know?
  • Great_Mazinga
    Great_Mazinga Posts: 214 Member
    Regarding the decision to cut or not, I leave that to you. If I thought I had no more options, I'd probably be looking at the same thing.

    On a seemingly unrelated note, I'd recommend finding a way to do it without debt. I am completely debt free except for the mortgage, and it is going fast! When I finally buckled down and decided to get rid of the debt, I freed up so much stress [that I didn't know was really there], and gained a great deal of discipline for planning and goal setting that is translating into the weight loss I'm now pursuing.

    In essence, they were tied together. The habits that got me to obesity, also got me into heavy debt, that is not planning beyond near term, making decisions with long term outlook.

    Anyhow, I'd see if there is a way to budget, cut back spending, work extra, sell some things, etc. etc. etc., so you can do it debt free. You'll build a great deal of personal fortitiude while doing this, and if you're budgeting regularly with hubby, you'll find your communication and relationship as a whole will improve.

    I've learned so much, and I'm sure have much more to do. In any case, I love to see people improve themselves, and you've come such a long way to doing that. Congratulations!
  • JupeJones
    JupeJones Posts: 107 Member
    I don't think it's selfish, but why would you go into debt for it??? Work extra, get a second (or third) job, save up for it, THEN have the surgery.

    This ^

    If the only way you can get something is to take out a loan, then by definition you cannot afford it.

    I don't think getting the surgery is selfish at all in the OP's case, but it is a luxury, no different from buying a ski boat or going on a nice cruise vacation. Nothing wrong with any of that if you can actually pay for it, but I sure as heck wouldn't take on debt for it.

    I heard a saying somewhere (probably from Dave Ramsey) along the lines of how wealthy people ask "how much is it?", and broke people ask "how much are the payments?" :-)

    I'm sure the OP didn't lose weight with a quick, painless fix. It took many small steps that added up, over a period of time, requiring lots of patience and the ability to delay gratification. Personal finance isn't really much different.
  • jlahorn
    jlahorn Posts: 377 Member
    2. Is it worth it to take out a loan to have the procedure done?
    Please consider this carefully. I (and any responsible financial advisor) would tell you that if you have to take out a loan for something like this, that means you really can't afford it. There are probably other things you should consider doing with your money (sorry). This is so not what you asked, I know, but please consider reading something like "Everything Personal Finance in Your 20s and 30s" (http://www.amazon.com/The-Everything-Personal-Finance-Your/dp/1598696343) before making the decision to take out a big loan.

    Ehhhhhhh.....usually I'd agree, I'm very very financially conservative. But, just because someone doesn't have $10K laying around in the bank doesn't mean they don't have the ability to save up $10K over the next 5 years or whatnot - the only difference between saving it and paying a loan is the interest, and, well, that's the price you pay. And there's CERTAINLY a benefit to getting it done now over waiting until she has the money saved up.

    It's more complicated than that, though.

    If she has any student loans, credit card debt, car loans, or mortgage, than any payments she makes toward this loan are coming from funds that she could be using to pay down existing debt, effectively costing her hundreds or thousands of dollars in additional interest.

    If she has to take out a loan for the full amount, that probably means that she doesn't have an emergency fund, which means that if anything happens (including complications resulting from surgery, job loss, or any other unexpected expenses), then she could wind up missing payments on any or all of her existing debt, triggering a raise in interest.

    Even if she currently has zero debt, a fully-funded emergency buffer, and everything goes exactly as expected, money she's spending on this is money she's not saving and earning a return on, whether that's saving up for a house, for retirement, or for anything else that might be important to her.

    I am not saying she shouldn't do it - I just think she (and pretty much everybody on the planet :) ) should make educated decisions. Many Americans are in heavy debt because the only thing they consider is whether or not they can make the payments - not what the full ramifications of their decisions are.
  • Lanamasha55
    Lanamasha55 Posts: 14 Member
    You did an amazing job - you deserve to look good. I say do it!
  • parkscs
    parkscs Posts: 1,639 Member
    It sort of depends on the loan. I'm not really in any rush to pay down my 3.15% interest rate mortgage, as I average a better return from other investments. Likewise, I put part of my kitchen remodel on a 0% interest credit card last year and paid it off exactly a year later with part of my yearly bonus. Taking out a loan in and of itself is not a bad thing and there's no reason to be so afraid of credit. Credit is a great thing, when used properly.

    That said, if we're talking about putting a luxury purchase on a 12%+ interest credit card and your time frame for paying it back is years instead of months, then it's fair to say it's a bad idea. And if your payments mean you can't afford to buy books for your kids or make some other important purchase, then maybe you need to wait until your financial situation improves.

    But as far as it being selfish... it's as selfish as making any luxury purchase. Is it selfish if I splurge on a nice car? I don't particularly think so, because it's my money and I have no dependents. Others have no right to money I earn, so I'm free to spend it on myself without worry.

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