Why are some members so mean here?

Although there are a few that can be a bit rude, I think most folks here are pretty cool. And remember, just because you have a disagreement or discussion going on doesn't necessarily mean they are being mean to you. Just food for thought. :flowerforyou:

which post are you talking about?

It was the post that explained my new insight on the whole eating back your calories topic. I have since become enlightened, but there was one poster who kept saying I wasn’t getting it and well, it just set me off a little.

@ugogirl1234

What you have to realize is that 'excercise calories' is a hot topic and a well beaten horse around MFP. Realize when I make this observation I am in no way criticising your right to post about it or wish to share your thoughts about it on the forums. Talking about excercise calories when you first join MFP, in the forums, is like being on a politcal forum and running in on your first day saying "So here's my treatise on abortion!' and yes, it can be that devisive in this community.

Like others have said, this forum is on the lighter side in terms of people getting flamed or harrassed. I've been on many forums- gamer, pregnancy ones, parenting ones and this is the most even keel one I've seen! Parenting/pregnancy ones are about a million times worse than this.

There should be if there isn't a guide for newbs to forums on the internet and it should inform people that they should get their bearings before they barrel in with topics that have been discussed repeatedly etc.

The real issue I see is that the forums are not organized efficiently..but that's another story

A thicker skin is a necessity on the net...not to excuse anyone being outright rude to you.

many a true word well said

I agree with a lot that has been said here, most people are positive and supporting, and there are few bad apples, but running accross one of those few can ruin your experience. I know I myself don't post much because I tend to be sarcastic, and that doesn't always come accross well on a written forum.

I have been reading forums for ages (back to in college before graphic browsers when they were called bulletin board services, or BBSs). One general rule of thumb I try to go by is to when I'm not sure what the intent of the poster was, to always give them the benefit of the doubt first. When a particular post rubs me the wrong way, I read it again and see if there could have been a different intent than how I took it initially. If there was, I give them the benefit of the doubt until they prove me wrong.

You are always going to get trolls on any forum you visit. It's just the internet. Actually this site is very tame compared to the aussie site I was on, Some real doozies over there.

Just ignore them

I hear you! There's one member on here I can't stand. She's a mean old lady with short hair. lol. All I know is that I would never friend her. I haven't seen her on her in a while so maybe she dropped off the face of the earth.

I just changed my avatar and grew my hair out

I hear you! There's one member on here I can't stand. She's a mean old lady with short hair. lol. All I know is that I would never friend her. I haven't seen her on her in a while so maybe she dropped off the face of the earth.

I just changed my avatar and grew my hair out

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

This site isn't all that different from other online communities I've been apart of. In fact, it's not that different from any community in general. Most people are nice and helpful. A few are dynamic, and even fewer are A-holes, and some of us are class clowns. It is what it is. I just deal with it.

There have been a few times, I've had to go back and delete what I wrote because it didn't come across the way I intended....and I'm usually sarcastic which doesn't tranlate well. Even with this:bigsmile:

I've got to the point where I don't even read EC Posts.

I’d also say that age and experience on the internet are major factors in (a) how people respond to posts and (b) how people interpret forum responses. If you have been hanging around in internet chat rooms, blogs, digg, reddit, or any other forum where people are obsessed with a singular topic—weight, games, pregnancy, baby names, infertility, celebrity gossip—for 15+ years (like I’ll admit I have), you can get used to a certain kind of rapid-fire, deliver-answers-make-friends-later style of conversation. If most of your internet use has been personal (a la Facebook) this style of conversation can rub you the wrong way.

I’m a geek, but a former English major, and I try hard to balanced, thoughtful, and articulate in my responses—but that in no way means that other people read my words the way I intend them. Discussing things in the impersonal world of the internet requires a thicker skin, but it doesn’t have to be so thick here on MFP.

All in all, this is hands down the most loving internet community I have ever participated in (get pregnant and hang out at babycenter.com and you will encounter some of the craziest posters to ever grace the internet). But, it is true that there isn’t really great guidance for new people. There’s a general assumption (probably because the sites creators are geeks) that you know how to read FAQs, search forums, and crawl through al the sticky posts before you log a single food or post a single thread.

You also have to think that some of us (especially myself) are just joking. We are funny, sarcastic and hope that other people know how to take a joke.

I haven't read the thread but I've been accused of this recently. I'm not being mean to anyone it's just poking a little fun and should be taken in jest.

I’d also say that age and experience on the internet are major factors in (a) how people respond to posts and (b) how people interpret forum responses. If you have been hanging around in internet chat rooms, blogs, digg, reddit, or any other forum where people are obsessed with a singular topic—weight, games, pregnancy, baby names, infertility, celebrity gossip—for 15+ years (like I’ll admit I have), you can get used to a certain kind of rapid-fire, deliver-answers-make-friends-later style of conversation. If most of your internet use has been personal (a la Facebook) this style of conversation can rub you the wrong way.

I’m a geek, but a former English major, and I try hard to balanced, thoughtful, and articulate in my responses—but that in no way means that other people read my words the way I intend them. Discussing things in the impersonal world of the internet requires a thicker skin, but it doesn’t have to be so thick here on MFP.

All in all, this is hands down the most loving internet community I have ever participated in (get pregnant and hang out at babycenter.com and you will encounter some of the craziest posters to ever grace the internet). But, it is true that there isn’t really great guidance for new people. There’s a general assumption (probably because the sites creators are geeks) that you know how to read FAQs, search forums, and crawl through al the sticky posts before you log a single food or post a single thread.

How eloquently put...

It's a diet site,maybe they are just crabby from being hungry LOL Honestly though there are mean people everywhere, especially on sites where there are a lot of women.

If I am sick of a topic I just don't read it, and just because it is a repeated question is no excuse for anyone to be rude about it. New people join everyday and they are going to ask the same beginner questions.

Wholeheartedly agree.

The person that commented on that suggestion has been a member since 2007. I bet they have seen similar questions or suggestions thousands of times and sometimes seeing the same thing over and over can make people irritable. :devil:

Don't worry, most people are nice most of the time. You just have to hope none of us are posting before we've had our coffee for the morning!