Why are some members so mean here?

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  • bizco
    bizco Posts: 1,949 Member
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    No, I've never experienced anything negative here. You didn't provide details of the so-called "attack" so I'm going to assume it really wasn't that bad. Don't be so sensitive, grow up, and just ignore people who are "mean."
  • callipygianchronicle
    callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
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    I’d also say that age and experience on the internet are major factors in (a) how people respond to posts and (b) how people interpret forum responses. If you have been hanging around in internet chat rooms, blogs, digg, reddit, or any other forum where people are obsessed with a singular topic—weight, games, pregnancy, baby names, infertility, celebrity gossip—for 15+ years (like I’ll admit I have), you can get used to a certain kind of rapid-fire, deliver-answers-make-friends-later style of conversation. If most of your internet use has been personal (a la Facebook) this style of conversation can rub you the wrong way.

    I’m a geek, but a former English major, and I try hard to balanced, thoughtful, and articulate in my responses—but that in no way means that other people read my words the way I intend them. Discussing things in the impersonal world of the internet requires a thicker skin, but it doesn’t have to be so thick here on MFP.

    All in all, this is hands down the most loving internet community I have ever participated in (get pregnant and hang out at babycenter.com and you will encounter some of the craziest posters to ever grace the internet). But, it is true that there isn’t really great guidance for new people. There’s a general assumption (probably because the sites creators are geeks) that you know how to read FAQs, search forums, and crawl through al the sticky posts before you log a single food or post a single thread.


    OMFG..I'm a babycenter refugee! I have been on the internet for a long time and hung out in some serious hole in the walls with rowdy boys and men and in dirty bars ..but babycenter took the CAKE on the -worst- behavior I've ever seen. So bad I deleted and ran away. I've never done that. It was also the most women oriented site I had ever joined. I'm a serious feminist but wow after that I never mentally complained about men or boys on a site again..ever. I never want to join an almost exclusively female site again. I'm practically scarred for life hahaha :]


    Wow now I want to check it out to see for myself lol

    Me too!:laugh:

    Sometimes we just have to throw hand in the fire and get burned. If you wake up having nightmares from hanging out a babycenter, just remember…you were warned!

    :noway: :noway: :noway:
  • chanstriste13
    chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
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    oh no! i hate to hear that - i've never experienced that here. now the old weight watchers online...that was a different matter! bugger them! stay the course! :flowerforyou:
  • believetoachieve
    believetoachieve Posts: 675 Member
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    I try to be as nice as possible (we're all in this struggle together, right?), but there are certain times when I am (admittedly) pretty rude...

    1) when I see someone being rude/mean/condescending to another member, I generally let them have an earful!! :grumble:
    2) when I see individuals with eating disorders trying to encourage others to do the same (or do it even more severely)
    3) when I see terrible advice (in any situation) such as recommending diet pills, illegal prescriptions, etc.

    I've seen all of the above! And responded accordingly, lol. Maybe that makes me mean, but I hope not! :laugh:
  • cahira
    cahira Posts: 163
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    Honestly I think this is one of the nicest forums I have participated on in years. I think like most places, if you are posting a new topic it helps to research to see what previous discussions have covered. But all in all I've felt very encouraged by the niceness here even though I don't post a ton.
  • Rae12
    Rae12 Posts: 15 Member
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    p.s. i personally think being sensitive is a great trait! i would much rather kick it with sensitive people than with callous ones!! :smile:
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
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    Even though it is the internet, it is still real life. You will always encounter all sorts of people: helpful people, supportive people, comedians and rude people.

    Ignore the rude ones. After all, you can't punch them and hitting your computer screen isn't very good for it.:wink:
  • sophiajackson99
    sophiajackson99 Posts: 90
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    So I went back and looked through your posts and came across this response to your question. If this is what you're referring to, I would agree with you that this is a little rude and snappy. To call this person's message "helpful" is being overly kind I think. They left 22 question marks after their last statement. Why bother to answer a question if you're annoyed by its presence? Just move on to another question and let someone who wants to help, do so.

    No, it's just people don't read THE DIRECTIONS.
    I mean, we are adults, the process is very simple and straight forward here. If that isn't enough, there are sticky posts in the start of the forums that explain this a hundred times. Just because people don't read.....
    Plus: When you sign up the instructions are pretty clear. THEN the food diary reiterates it several times.....
    If that's not enough, there is a HELP at the top of every page.
    If that's still not enough there's a search engine.
    Really? You think there's not enough explanation?????????????????????? huh
  • omgitsgarry
    omgitsgarry Posts: 138
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    I've seen some pretty sarcastic reply's, mostly on diet fads and topics of eating back exercise calories. Honestly, I just tell myself they are on a diet, because I can get a bit snarly with people lately, but that's in real life. People are passionate about certain subjects and some people have been around here for so many months or years that they get tried of seeing the same questions (but they do need to be reminded that new members aren't going to get a hang of the system right off the bat and need to be more supportive and less judgmental). Just ignore them and don't reply. You'll just be playing into a fight, which is what they want most of the time. Don't show them they are getting a rise out of you.
  • DJJW
    DJJW Posts: 519 Member
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    Everyone has the option of moving on. There are hundreds of post all the time. If you've read the same kind of post before, then leave that one for the new members. I'm new from November, I'm not going to "search" the archives for a question that I have, I'm going to post it and encourage everyone else to do the same. I think a good rule is....if you find yourself getting frustrated...move on. We are all here for support and that's it. If you think someones opinion is wrong....well, that's why they are opinions. On that note...cheers to all the happy members:)
  • kicklikeaGIRL
    kicklikeaGIRL Posts: 867 Member
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    So I went back and looked through your posts and came across this response to your question. If this is what you're referring to, I would agree with you that this is a little rude and snappy. To call this person's message "helpful" is being overly kind I think. They left 22 question marks after their last statement. Why bother to answer a question if you're annoyed by its presence? Just move on to another question and let someone who wants to help, do so.

    No, it's just people don't read THE DIRECTIONS.
    I mean, we are adults, the process is very simple and straight forward here. If that isn't enough, there are sticky posts in the start of the forums that explain this a hundred times. Just because people don't read.....
    Plus: When you sign up the instructions are pretty clear. THEN the food diary reiterates it several times.....
    If that's not enough, there is a HELP at the top of every page.
    If that's still not enough there's a search engine.
    Really? You think there's not enough explanation?????????????????????? huh

    This is just plain unfair. If you're going to post one person's remark, you might as well include the other sarcastic and rude messages previous to this one. I mean, honestly...the OP was rude to EVERYONE who was trying to understand her better.

    This whole thread is no more than high school behavior.
  • katbass
    katbass Posts: 351 Member
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    This is just plain unfair. If you're going to post one person's remark, you might as well include the other sarcastic and rude messages previous to this one. I mean, honestly...the OP was rude to EVERYONE who was trying to understand her better.

    This whole thread is no more than high school behavior.

    Couldnt agree more. To the OP, please go back to the thread and read your sarcastic, rude comments on that thread, both to me and to others who were trying to help you. I doubt you would say any of those things to our faces, in that tone. I didnt let your snotty undertone bother me because A) you can lead a horse to water... B) you live in my computer and C) you were clearly looking for an argument and I dont have time for people like that.

    I hope you got the attention and affirmations you were seeking by starting this thread. It pains me to give you the attention you seek, as it reminds me of high school, but I cant let you think that you were all sunshine and rainbows on that thread. Your attitude was less than friendly.
  • sophiajackson99
    sophiajackson99 Posts: 90
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    So I went back and looked through your posts and came across this response to your question. If this is what you're referring to, I would agree with you that this is a little rude and snappy. To call this person's message "helpful" is being overly kind I think. They left 22 question marks after their last statement. Why bother to answer a question if you're annoyed by its presence? Just move on to another question and let someone who wants to help, do so.

    No, it's just people don't read THE DIRECTIONS.
    I mean, we are adults, the process is very simple and straight forward here. If that isn't enough, there are sticky posts in the start of the forums that explain this a hundred times. Just because people don't read.....
    Plus: When you sign up the instructions are pretty clear. THEN the food diary reiterates it several times.....
    If that's not enough, there is a HELP at the top of every page.
    If that's still not enough there's a search engine.
    Really? You think there's not enough explanation?????????????????????? huh

    This is just plain unfair. If you're going to post one person's remark, you might as well include the other sarcastic and rude messages previous to this one. I mean, honestly...the OP was rude to EVERYONE who was trying to understand her better.

    This whole thread is no more than high school behavior.

    Didn't mean to be unfair. I didn't see a whole lot else to post... Maybe there was another thread I didn't see. Sorry to offend!! :D Ciao!
  • elfie9863
    elfie9863 Posts: 337
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    You will always get the occasional "keyboard warrior" who thinks their opinions are fact!, in general though this place is brilliant and full of motivational people so don't let it put you off!

    Ben.
    keyboard warriors this made me laugh.


    BAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! AND....they KNOW who they are.....that's the funny part...
  • Nailrep
    Nailrep Posts: 966 Member
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    I'VE NOTICED SARCASTIC REMARKS, WHICH ARE TOTALLY UNNECESSARY. WE ARE HERE TO LEARN FROM EACH OTHER. BUT TE SITE IS AWESOME IMO! MOST OF THE PEOPLE ARE GREAT!!
  • purple1butterfly
    purple1butterfly Posts: 576 Member
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    I have replied to many posts & have not noticed members being mean, that probably because i have not read it that way others do. I hope that i have never upset someone when replying to a post. My spelling & grammar are c**p & i will be sorting that out soon. Don't let it spoil your experience here.
  • cindy4mica
    cindy4mica Posts: 777 Member
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    p.s. i personally think being sensitive is a great trait! i would much rather kick it with sensitive people than with callous ones!! :smile:

    agreed!
  • ugogirl1234
    ugogirl1234 Posts: 43
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    This is just plain unfair. If you're going to post one person's remark, you might as well include the other sarcastic and rude messages previous to this one. I mean, honestly...the OP was rude to EVERYONE who was trying to understand her better.

    This whole thread is no more than high school behavior.

    Couldnt agree more. To the OP, please go back to the thread and read your sarcastic, rude comments on that thread, both to me and to others who were trying to help you. I doubt you would say any of those things to our faces, in that tone. I didnt let your snotty undertone bother me because A) you can lead a horse to water... B) you live in my computer and C) you were clearly looking for an argument and I dont have time for people like that.

    I hope you got the attention and affirmations you were seeking by starting this thread. It pains me to give you the attention you seek, as it reminds me of high school, but I cant let you think that you were all sunshine and rainbows on that thread. Your attitude was less than friendly.

    If you don't have time for "people like that" as you put it, then why did you reply back to this thread?
  • sbwood888
    sbwood888 Posts: 953 Member
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    I once posted a something that I thought was cute--I immediately ticked this one lady off and she accused me of trying to "start an argument". I was floored. Starting an argument was the LAST thing I had in mind. I just wished her a good day and moved on. It will be that way from time to time. I just take the good and enjoy it and shake off the bad. I enjoy this site too much to let the fact that a few people don't seem to like the way I post. Overall, people respond to me well and I have lots of supportive friends. Just shake it off. Maybe that person was having a bad day. MFP is a great place for the most part. :flowerforyou:
  • ugogirl1234
    ugogirl1234 Posts: 43
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    I once posted a something that I thought was cute--I immediately ticked this one lady off and she accused me of trying to "start an argument". I was floored. Starting an argument was the LAST thing I had in mind. I just wished her a good day and moved on. It will be that way from time to time. I just take the good and enjoy it and shake off the bad. I enjoy this site too much to let the fact that a few people don't seem to like the way I post. Overall, people respond to me well and I have lots of supportive friends. Just shake it off. Maybe that person was having a bad day. MFP is a great place for the most part. :flowerforyou:

    I will admit I was floored that this particular person accused me of starting an argument. She also stated that I was rude and snotty to everyone that tried to understand what I was trying to explain. I am officially denying this, but I can understand where she is coming from.

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