Men! I need your help!

He's 20, he's suppose to be immature. Girls mature a lot faster than guys. I have guy friends that are 27, and going to be 28 soon, and still have immature moments. So, he's a cashier? He has a job (which are hard to come by these days). He's young, and still figuring out his life. Does your husband have immature moments? I know my dad still does. Are you still trying to figure out your life? I think most people, no matter their age, will continue to do so. Cut him some slack, maybe do a family fun day or something (bowling, zoo, game night, etc.), have her invite him, and then you can get to know more about him... except without making it obvious that you're playing "20 questions".

I am kind of biased because I am a 20 yr old girl. But your daughter is an adult. You may not like her boyfriend, but no matter what you say, if she likes him, she will stay with him.

I think you should be less interested with how he texts and more interested in getting to know more about him. You should be supportive of your daughter. If he is bad for her, she will eventually figure it out and leave him.

totally didn't ask for your opinion-- but thanks for playing.

And all "adult" means in this house at the age of 19 is that I can now legally kick your behind out.

Wow!! My apologies to alecta. You had great advice and insight. Unfortunately, Marla is not looking for advice and insight; she is looking for someone to agree with her opinion of her daughter's boyfriend and, possibly, someone that might enjoy slamming him with her.

RoadDog-- yes, I was rude. Alecta, my apologies for my rudeness.

However, I'm not interested in the insight of a 20yo girl. I live with one.

I'm truly trying to gauge if I'm off-base. I asked my son. He thinks it's weird, and doesn't text smilies.

Is it indicative of the boy's character? Probably not. Is indicative of the boy's maturity? Possibly.

this is simply a fact-finding mission from a MAN'S perspective.

Instead of asking other men, why not just ask him? In a non rude or judgemental way.

I'm not a guy, but what are specific reasons (besides he keeps her up at night) you and your husband don't like him? From what you say he seems (so far) like a nice guy. I agree that he should not be keeping her up all night, but does she have something to do the next day? Does she tell him she doesn't want to talk all night, etc.? Also, how long have they been dating/talking. If it's still early on, they'll probably talk all the time then it'll phase out. Without knowing the entire situation or about the guy as a person it's hard to make any suggestion or comment about the smiley faces. Guys I know don't normally use smiley faces, etc. with each other, but let's not add him to the stereotype. He may be different. I'd say you should suggest your concerns to your daughter, and see what she has to say about the situation. Otherwise, let it play out.

She's a professional golfer. He's a cashier.

My beef is his immaturity.

Oh... nice.... so it is a class thing for you? Perfect. I feel sorry for your daughter with an elitist for a mother. Wow.

My sentiments exactly.

All right gentlemen--

So, I have this 19 year old daughter, dating a 20 year old guy whom my husband and I detest. He is more like a third grade girl. Stays up all night skyping and texting my child. Sends her cute love notes in code on her facebook page, and uses smileys in replies to his male buddies.

So I ask you, gentleman...... Do dudes use smilies with other dudes?

Please, please, please-- your opinions, please?

Do I use smilies with other dudes? Yea - sometimes if I'm trying to convey what I'm saying in a lighthearted mood. But I also go by Mikey sometimes and I use pictures of cute puppies as forum avatars so I must be gay. Don't tell my wife though - it's a secret.

The fact is that technology has changed in the many years since you were in the dating world. Cell phones, computers, internet, Facebook - they all give you access 24 hours a day into other peoples lives. For better or for worse that's the way the younger generations like it. If she is making your cell phone bill go through the roof or keeping you up at night then tell her to stop or get out. If this guy is a drug addict or abusive or just a jerk then tell her your opinion and that you disapprove. But if he is just a nice guy that wants to get to know everything about your daughter then give him a chance.

Kinda what she says--

Yes, the technology is there, and yes it's 24/7. But, doesn't this kid have productive things to do? No cats to rescue from trees? No old ladies to help across streets? He and my daughter fell asleep face to face on Skype-- really? You have nothing better to do? Neither of you?

Come on now, if you were 20 that would be the sweeteset thing to you. Total chick flick movie move! ...except on the movies they always fell asleep on the phone, there was no skype.

I am really not trying to pick at you on this but if you consider your 19 year old daughter a child still (which is totally fair), then isn't it safe to consider him a child as well? He is only a year older. I have never met a mature 20 year old boy. I'm not trying to argue against you but to get you to see that in the grand sceme of things, you are worried about something that seems pretty unimportant. At her age, I doubt that she is seeing him as the man of her dreams that she is going to marry someday and if she does are you going to object on the basis that he is sweet to her and loves to be in contect with her?? I'm wondering where you would expect him to be in his life at 20.

PS-My very manly boyfriend (age 30) uses smilies when he IM's and texts. I can guarantee he isn't the ignorant slang word several people have used here.

These are pretty good points. I've known very few men OR women who really had their *kitten* together at 19 or 20 (I'm still working on it at 37). Maybe he's NOT ambitious... or maybe he is. But chances are this isn't the "one". I dated a lot of idiots in my younger years. And most of the time I was well aware that they weren't long term prospects - I was just having fun.

This thread is lame. If you REALLY want something to worry about, turn on the news and look at Japan. It'll put things in perspective a little, so you can stop worrying about smiley faces.

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This thread is lame. If you REALLY want something to worry about, turn on the news and look at Japan. It'll put things in perspective a little, so you can stop worrying about smiley faces.

My senitments exactly.

Kinda what she says--

Yes, the technology is there, and yes it's 24/7. But, doesn't this kid have productive things to do? No cats to rescue from trees? No old ladies to help across streets? He and my daughter fell asleep face to face on Skype-- really? You have nothing better to do? Neither of you?

ok...a few things
1-i am 30, as is my boyfriend, we have been together for 2 1/2 years, and we used to fall asleep together on skype, and that was without using cameras, that was just voice :P snoring and all!!

2-no offense guys, but guys aren't mature at 20..heck, i know an awful lot at 40 not, my dad is 56 and he isn't. i know, not ALL guys are this way, but, there are an awful lot, so i guess...would you rather she be dating a 40 year old?

3-honestly....no guy is ever going to be good enough for your daughter. that is just the way parents are.

4-i know quite a few guys who will use emotes when talking with other guys. most of these guys are very hardcore gamers, so it's just built into their life. and that type of speak has literally innundated life as we know it. i don't see a problem with guys emoting to other guys, my pet peeve is when people shorten every word they use so you can still read it, but nothing is written out in full. hate that!

:smokin: