Family & Friends can be cruel

Youve taken the first step to a healthier you! Good Luck

i have the same, my family constantly make digs about my weight. used to weigh 8 stone went up to 13st 5. am now back down to 11st 8 but still have a weigh to go. the way they go on makes me feel awful and really gets me down i feel like screaming at them some times. i am trying to lose weight but its not as easy as they think with 4 kids a husband and a normal life to lead

Aww, Arketha! Don't let comments like that get you down. Sometimes families know just the right AND just the WRONG things to say. Hopefully what they really meant was something like 'we are concerned about your weight gain and you seemed much happier at a healthier weight', but, again, families have a way of making things come out all wrong!

You're a MyfitnessPal'er now, so pretty soon you'll be hearing, 'wow, looking good' and 'are you losing weight?', 'are those your skinny jeans?' from the fam!


~valerie

my mother in law always says 'you were so slim before you had the baby' ugh..that pisses me off

That's mean ... and they can be so cruel, but once you lose weight these people would shut up..don't listen to them..there must be positive people around..stay with them. you've already taken the first step towards being healthy. screw what anyone else says

I am so sorry to hear that! What is most important however, is how you feel about you! I know it can be hard to hear such negative comments but you live with you so make sure that you are not saying those things to yourself! Not sure if you have ever said anything to them but maybe you need to tell them that their comments are hurtful! Maybe they don't even realize it.

Keep focus on yourself being happy and healthy!! You can't worry about what others think - even if they are your family

yes family can be cruel at times. You are at the right place for motivation and encouragement. Just think about the next time you see them hopefully you will be thinner and hopefully will hear compliments instead of the usual hurtful comments. Good luck on your weight loss journey. You can do it....

Sometimes family and friends can be mean. A lot of times they are just trying to help and just want you to be more healthy.
At christmas this year one of my aunts when she first seen me immeadiatly said " wow are you fat". It threw me for a loop and i was a bit depressed. As the day went on we talked a bit more and she said that she wanted the best for me and told her that she crushed me with that satement and she apologized. She was right by the way i was fat. Since then i went back on MFP started watching what i ate and started excercizing. So family and friends can be cruel but if it for the right reason a nd if it is because they truly care about you, it can help motivate you. It sure did for me. As for those taht are just being mean and want to use you for a joke then lose them as they arent really your friends. Good luck on your journey.

Call me crazy - but that's fuel for motivation!!!!

If you ever wanted to get even with anyone (in a good way of course) then losing the excess fat, inches and weight, looking great, feeling great and living healthy is the best revenge!!!!

When I read between the lines of this and similar remarks, what I hear is, "We are concerned about you. You used to care about your health, body image and size. What happened? Are you okay? Are you depressed? Did something in life cause you to give up? Don't you care about yourself anymore? Don't you want to feel good about yourself? Don't you want to like what you see in the mirror every morning? We feel afraid because we want to help you but don't know how."

Unfortunately, most people are too afraid to say what they really feel and so use sarcasm as a way to keep their feelings safe while getting the message across. What they don't realize, unfortunately, is that you are already feeling quite vulnerable and sarcasm isn't funny - it's just cruel.

Here's a fun exercise if you're willing to try it:

Think about all the 'little' things that caused you to gain weight.
Now write them down.
Write down one emotion that describes each little thing.
Now write down the power that emotion has had and still has over you.
Now try to answer the following question: "What would it take for you to regain power over this emotion so that you are empowered instead of feeling dis-empowered by it?"

I know exactly how you feel. It wasn't until recently when my sisters started gaining weight and getting chunky that they finally realized that the things they said hurt. Now we are a united front against my mother who will rub it in all the time that we need to lose weight. She has been that way to me my entired life even when I was in Jr High and High school and at 150 lbs she thought I was fat cause I wasn't a stick like she was at that age. It hurts I know. But just remember that losing weight is for yourself not for anyone else. If you are doing it for the wrong reasons it won't work. That is why at 31 I am finally serious about it cause this time it is because I really want it not because everyone else is telling me i need it. Good luck to you. Don't forget you can always turn to MFP for guidence support and love.

Renee

I understand exactly how you feel, the running joke in my family is if there's a new restaurant or a new item at a fast food restaurant "ask Daphne she's probably already tried it" and then my dad's the worst, he's overweight himself but wants to constantly give me weight loss tips, I'm just like really? My mom, actually said to me that I would never be able to reach my goal (size 6, currently size 10), because I'm getting too old (I'm only 27), WTF!! And when I decide that I want to try to change my lifestyle that's also a joke, so I really don't have much support from my family, a little from my younger sister but that's about it, so I know where you are coming from and I know it will get better, for both of us. :flowerforyou:

Family can be very judgmental and not think of your feelings when they voice thier opinions. You hang in there and stay
focused on you, they're only words so shake 'em off. You can do this, especially on MFP with alot of support from youir new friends and new ( sorta) family encouraging you.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Save the hurt for motivation when you need it

So sorry that you have to go through that. No one should be put down by anyone but no matter what they say or do, all that matters is what you think about yourself.

I know how you feel. I seen my cousins for the first time in 3 years last week and as I was walking out of the house I heard my cousin say to the rest of the family "Boy she got fat!" I just wanted to run and crawl under a rock. It made me feel like crap. I don't understand how people can be so mean especially family. But it did give me extra motivation to get in shape. But just remember do it for you, no one else!