Anyone else going through divorce or been through one?

I got divorced back in 2003 after 20 yrs.. I haven't met anyone since. I have always been overweight but the weight has been coming on since then even more. Was at my highest last year of 239. Lost some since I joined here.

Been there. Done that.

It's been a year and a half and it's really hard.

We have twins so there is a lot of need to communicate and get along and I feel like I am always on the losing end.

Firnds help. Counseling helps.

It's better now than it was but it is still very hard.

I'm older though, 46. I think it would be much easier if you are young and have no children.

I wish I had better nrews.

I am divorced but my experience is unusual. It was probably one of the most amicable, stress-free divorces in history. Add me as a friend if you like, but I don't know how well I will be able to commiserate. I can sympathize, though.

Yes Mam...I think it's the "never-ending-divorce." I left him now 5 years ago, on my second long term relationship since him. He was a complete jack*@^! I lost my entire being while I was with him, and gained so much weight. I am happy to report though it will get better, it DOES get better! I am now in love with my perfect man and are planning our wedding next fall.

That man use to tell me I was fat all the time....I was with him for nearly 7 years and 2 children, I gained roughly 30-40lbs through it all. When I met him he weight 240, when I left probably close to 400. Yup, that's right, and I WAS the fat one! He gained a person! I was never so happy than to walk away, it was hard, but I gained so much!

Best of luck w/ you on your journey both here and in your life...I know how difficult it can be!

Feel free to add me if you'd like

Yes, 10 years ago. We have a 13 year old son, but unfortunately his dad is still incredibly abusive and hateful, despite all these years! In fact, I am returning to court (again - his decision) as he decided suddenly he wanted our son to live with him. Nevermind that he's shown little interest in all these years otherwise.

Take care of YOU and breathe.

Yep, I sure did! It was a really tough time for me but it's all worked out! Hope you find peace!

I am recently divorced and I was at my highest weight. My exhusband loved fried food and drinking and after 5 years of that lifestyle and 3 kids I hated my body. After a few months of binge eating and hating myself more I met an amazing guy. His 156 lbs. made me want to change my eating. He's one of those "fit but doesnt need to work out" types but together we both started exercising daily and eating better and I've never been happier. I'll tell you one of the hardest things for me is thinking that he might not be attracted to me if I loose the weight. Cause after all he met me at my biggest. I decided though that no matter how much that scares me I'm going to do this for me. If he loves me as much as he says he does than he'll still love me at my skinniest. You have the right attitude. Do this for yourself. Make yourself happy first and the rest of the puzzle will fall into place.

i'm not, BUT just think for motivation, what a slap in the face for him when you look AMAZING! & he can't have you anymore :oD do this for you!

Wow, lots of people in the same emotional boat as me. Looks like I am in good company though. I'm just getting back into the groove of ME and hoping to find lots of supportive people that understand what someone's hurt can do to someone inside and out. Anyone that doens't mind an extra friend for support and can give some along the way, I'm your girl. Best to everyone! )

In the same boat and know exactly how you feel. I'm determined to better myself. I know I need more self-discipline, but I also need help from friends. (Oh wait, she took those, too.) :laugh:

Ouch! Glad to see you are keeping your sense of humor. Hang in there! It will get better.

I've been divorced 10 years. It took me 3 years to come out of the fog and decide I was ready to be out in the world again. However, it did take lots of baby steps and false starts.

I married again, but sadly my second husband died nearly 3 years ago. I'm 50 this year and I'm on a mission to be happy every day NOW.

Good luck, it takes a lot of work, but you will find yourself, and love yourself and life again.

GG

So sorry to hear of your loss! Love your philosophy to be happy NOW. If we say "I'll be so much happier when I weigh X" we waste a lot of time. Thanks for the reminder!

been gone now for 5 years divorced 3, after 23 years of marriage and 3 children. i truly had my heart broken along with my spirit. i had lost myself i knew i was his wife and my children's mother but other than that i didn't know who i was. i had never saved that piece for me. i was in an abusive relationship that had taken all of my self esteem. i finally decided that i didn't want my kids raised in that environment and left. once i got out i realized i deserved more too! i started to pick myself back up and slowly things got better. they will for you too! it does take time you have to take the time to get to know yourself and the things that you like. now i am dating a guy that does nothing but encourage me. it is so different when i get discouraged he'll tell me yet did that so i know you can do this too. its an amazing difference hang in there. mail me any time you need to talk

Wow, lots of people in the same emotional boat as me. Looks like I am in good company though. I'm just getting back into the groove of ME and hoping to find lots of supportive people that understand what someone's hurt can do to someone inside and out. Anyone that doens't mind an extra friend for support and can give some along the way, I'm your girl. Best to everyone! )

I agree! Just trying to figure out how to be me again. Friend request sent

I went through a divorce after 7 years of marriage. We had met in high school and dated for 7 years before we married. I went through a lot of psycological control issues with my ex. He actually made me feel so guilty and upset when I left I couldn't eat. It's when I got happy and was with someone new that the weight started creepy on. It does get better! I lucked out that I had no children, so once I got him to accept I wasn't coming back- he dropped out of my life completely. I remarried a really wonderful man and have been happy for 18 years. When you like yourself more, it shines out to others. Give it time. You'll find someone else, it this will all become the distant past. It just makes you into someone stronger.