Does anyone else get scared thinking of the final goal?

I am very close to my final goal and I know what you mean about the what if's.
My personality has changed but I feel like it has been for the better.
I felt like I was locked in a cage and someone handed me the key.

It happens so gradually that you won't notice all the changes at once. It just becomes part of who you are.
The confidence is always a plus. As for myself ( and I know many others on here ) friends and family have commented that I am happier now. Just take it one day at a time. If you get to where you feel like you are losing too much weight then you can always put a stop to it. You are the only one that has control over you.
Good Luck. It's not so bad. This past year has been one of the best for me. :flowerforyou:

In comparison to an awful lot of people on here, who have lost weights equivelant to another person, I didn't have much to lose. I'm 45lbs now! I started off as a UK size 18, and I'm now down to a UK 10-12!

As my body has become smaller, my confidence has grown! While I look like a completely different person, I'm still the same person, but I'm happier in myself My determination has also grown stronger, and I'm in a place now that I never thought I'd get to.... I have made a life change!

It does take a while to come to terms with your new body, confidence and outlook! But when you see yourself in that dress, that's when the realisation will hit that you've done it :happy:

Hi - I hear what you're saying. I'm telling you from experience that you have to change your self image as you lose weight and cope with whatever led you to over eat/ not exercise in the first place. When I did Weight Watchers I didn't do any of that. I lost 60 lbs, and everyone said they were so proud of me, but inside I felt like a fat girl hiding in a skinny body. I saw myself as a fat person, as if that were my real self. And I put all the weight back on. If I had believed I could stay at a healthy weight, I would have acted like a healthy person. Instead I ate like crazy, got more depressed and then when I gained weight took that as confirmation that I was "meant" to be fat. It was really miserable and self destructive.

The emotional and spiritual side of weight gain and loss is just as important as the calories. I got help from Overeaters Anonymous and it's made all the difference because I got at the roots of why I was treating my body so badly. Maybe you don't have reasons like that. Some people gain weight just because of life circumstances. But if there're emotional need components to your weight gain and eating habits, you've got to deal with them too.

I didn't lose nearly that much, but I'll tell you that even at the relatively small amount I did lose, everything changed. If someone had told me a year ago that I'd be standing here, down more than 40lbs from my highest weight, I wouldn't have believed them. I wouldn't have believed them if they had told me that I would be a runner, and that I wouldn't need my asthma medication. I wouldn't have believed them if they had told me that I would find the happiness and confidence to face the world without meds for social anxiety disorder. I wouldn't have believed them if they'd have told me that I would quit my secure old job in favor of starting a business of my own. Strangely, this energetic little person who emerged from the heavier me managed to shed many of her anxieties, depression, and insecurities along with the weight, somehow or other.

It's a great thing, but I won't lie and say there aren't any problems that accompany it. There has been a lot of new stress added to the relationship between myself and my husband. We used to be virtually identical in terms of activity level. We used to both eat junk food. We used to think a fun weekend revolved around the Xbox. Now, I find myself out-lasting him whenever we do any sports, hiking, swimming or the like-- he is exhausted, and I still have hours of energy left. I don't like to go to the same restaurants that we used to frequent, and since I do all the cooking, the food that we eat at home has completely changed-- often in ways that he doesn't like. While I'll still play around on the Xbox sometimes, it's about two hours of my afternoon instead of an eight hour marathon session. I keep trying to convince my husband to do something about his health-- it's hard not to say something when you see somebody you love treating their body badly-- and I am sure he finds me downright annoying at times. On top of that, his much more athletic best friend and his friend's wife have started inviting me to participate in strenuous hikes and runs, and we all attend yoga class together several times a week-- without my husband. He hasn't said anything about it, but I know that if I were him, I would be upset by being left out so often. I have a feeling that if someone asked him, he would probably say that he misses the "old" me-- the me that was more like him. I still don't really know how all of this is going to resolve, and some of the possibilities are scary-- but *I* like the new version of me a lot better, which is giving me more strength to work through the rough spots than I think I would have had before.

Thanks for bumping this. I missed it the first time around.

And I gotta say, I love where you are going with this post. Not a lot of people are introspective enough to go there. It’s not until the weight is gone--or until they find themselves self-sabotaging at the midpoint—that they realize that part of their identity was invested in being overweight.

I definitely think about this. About how my self image might change when I look like all of the people whom I spent have spent decades thinking looked better than me. If I can wear regular clothes and shop in regular stores, will I have an excuse for not being trendy or in style? Will I feel any more confident at the beach? And if so, why? Does being thin mean I can no longer sit and observe like introvert I am, but now have to thrust myself into the center of attention?

In the past, I know these thoughts were mostly subconscious, not something I could have ever articulated. But I have entered a new relationship with my body after three years straight of hating it for all the ways it had failed me. I have done a lot of internal work to get there (some with help, and much on my own). I am no longer my body. I am not a bad person because my body is overweight. I will not be a good person when the weight is gone. I am. And I have learned to be grateful for being. And I actively work to not want anything more than what I am today.

I know that sounds like new-agey-therapy-speak. But, for me, eating right and exercising isn’t that tough. What’s tough is believing that I am worth the effort. But because I am in a place where I absolutely believe I am worthy of good, I think when I reach my goal weight I will be smaller, but at peace. Some of the experience will definitely be new territory. But as long as I can continue to see my Self and my Body as two different entities, I think I’ll adjust.

THIS. Everything she said. All of it.

I was thinking along these lines just the other day when I realized that I'm about 25, 30 lbs away from my goal after having lost almost 90 lbs! All of my life, everything I thought revolved around my weight, usually negatively. And it's always been such a struggle through my whole adult life. And I thought to myself, "I'll be at my goal in 25 lbs...then what?" What do I do? I know it'll still be with me to be conscious of my body for the rest of my life, that's just the way it is, but it's easier now when there's a point to focus on, an end. But what happens when you get to that end?

I've always felt that being the 'ideal' size is never never even remotely the panacea that a lot of overweight people think it is. This is because I used to be 'ideally' sized for many years and I can be honest with myself- even then (uh my 120 lbs self is in my profile pics, I'm 5' 8") I had chronic depression- anxiety through the roof, I was neurotic as hell and still am and I have ADHD..so yeah, losing weight isn't going to magically make all of that disappear. No, in fact, it might make some things a HELL of a lot worse for me socially.
For certain people, this can be very deeply complicated. Being the ideal size and being much more attractive can be actually, a horrible thing. Especially if you're a survivor of any kind of brutal sexual violence.
So yes- I am scared. I am hopeful on this journey, I am focused about it, I feel energetic as ever etc..but I always worry. For me being at GW isn't something I see like a shining shafts of sunlight glaring down from the heavens upon me but more like protection being peeled back and leaving me far more exposed than I want to be. I will have to cope with that and make myself stronger for it.

I was actually thinking about this the other day, but from a different angle; that of being an (dare I say) alcoholic. Yep, up until not too long ago, there was an entire DECADE where I was drunk every day (I partly blame 16 long years living in Austin for that horrible number, btw).

So that said, I was thinking to myself "when is this going to be done? how do I know when I've succeeded? Does this end?" And the harrowing yet obvious answer hit me up side the head...you aren't done. You haven't succeeded. And it doesn't end.

Sure, you will succeed and you will continue to succeed, but the final goal should be to never stop succeeding. Always maintain. Always take care of yourself. Never think for one second that letting yourself go, even for a little while, is in some way a 'reward'. What we're doing now *is* the reward...the result of our having enough love for ourselves that we chose to take a better path.

So I wouldn't say I get 'scared' of the final goal, but I do try to take a bit of time every day to realize what that final goal means. To me it doesn't mean 'You did it, now stop'. It means "you did it, good job...now keep going!"

Great post...that's sort of what I was thinking. It's not like when I finally get to my goal weight, do I get to throw out everything I learned and party and celebrate and undo all the hard work.

The insights in this thread are absolutely awesome.

I got within a whisker of my weight loss goal last year, and after having a year-from-hell, woke up to find I put on 1/2 the weight that I had lost. I've forgiven myself but wondering why, when I lost all that weight in a really healthy patient way, I let myself get so derailed?

Because - while my son was sick, I put my children first. I need to take myself aside and remind myself again and again that I have to be first, if I can't look after my emotional and physical needs, there is not going back and picking it up and getting it done later, you can't run on empty for long.

There are conflicting messages here (as you would expect), 1. everything changes and 2. nothing changes. Both can be scary and we have to come to terms with how the dream and reality are different or the same.

Love and hugs to everyone who is struggling.

GG

ur not the only one. my goal weight freaks me out too. according to all the charts, i'm supposed to be 150, and i've never been below 185. my first goal was 175, but a few weeks in, i changed it to 150 making it 130lbs to lose. i think i'm at the point now where this is a lifestyle change, and i don't think i'll ever go back to the way i used to be. just the fact that you are starting to think of yourself at that weight is a good sign. before i started, i NEVER would have thought of myself as being skinny, but now i can sort of see that in my future. you're doing great, and don't be scared of that goal. also, don't take what those charts say to seriously. everyone's body is different and what's good for you're body might be a little different

Wow my first time on this site and this is the first post that I read.....it's like a little piece of all the responses are my thoughts. It makes me realise that we all have the same worries, I have thought 'what will be my ''style'' when I am skinny', will I be a different person to who I am now etc etc etc. Inspiring reading, thanks guys :happy:

I was 285 back in august.

Now 228.

I feel just like I did when I was fatter.

In fact, I don't see myself as any different.

I will tell you that it's much easier to move and get up in the morning. To be more active and yes, I do get more attention than I did when I was bigger.

My buddy the other day told me that I was working out too hard and my butt was disappearing in my pants. The same pants that a couple of months ago were nice and snug on my butt.

So what I'll tell you is that it takes a LONG time to get used to your new body. Your self image will probably be of your larger self for a while. It takes that "ah-ha" moment when you look in the mirror and realize how much you've lost and that you're NOT that fat person that you used to be.

It's tough to get used to a new type of normal. But I'm working on it. And I gotta buy some new jeans. I'm swimming in my old ones.

This is so true. I have my before pictures on my dresser. I have to keep telling myself that the person in the picture was the fat me and I'm no longer that big. At moments I can clearly comprehend it and then other moments I still see the old me staring back. Like you said it is definitely a process.

It's an excellent question. We've all asked it. I've blogged about it as well. I have had a rapid weight loss in less than 6 months, primarily because I want get back to who I WAS. Healthy, athletic, full of energy. Some good thought provoking posts here, but truly I believe your outter image and your inner self are two separate states forever linked together, yet independent of one another. The number on the scale may appear to be the goal for some, for others the goal is to live healthy, and to be a role model to others around you (family and friends) - that "goal" is a lifelong journey.