He is married :(

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DaniiDean
DaniiDean Posts: 162 Member
in Chit-Chat
So not sure why I am writing this here. Just would like a little advice I think. I do know right from wrong but the feeling is so fricken strong.... haha that could be a song!

Here's the picture. I have liked this dude since I was 14 I am now nearly 21 and he is 30 we are really close friends too, but age doesn't matter to me. We have always had a 'thing' but didn't go further than kissing because of my age. We would always meet up and hang out, we had a great relationship (not official) but would get on so well and it was clear there was always something there. He recently got married and things aren't going well with his wife. I am seeing him next week for the first time in a couple weeks. I want him so bad but obvy he is married. What should I do because my body says go for it and instigate something but my mind knows it's wrong. She would never find out and I know he wants something to happen. Ah I sound so terrible and like a homewrecker.

please don't hate me these feelings are genuine :(
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Replies

  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    I would say don't see him, move on, he is married, and to someone else.
  • DaniiDean
    DaniiDean Posts: 162 Member
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    I know that is the right thing but I can't help wanting him, this sucks
  • strapple
    strapple Posts: 353 Member
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    yeah hes married and thats a done deal. best to just leave it alone.


    best case scenario he cheats on his wife with you and leaves her

    then you're stuck in a relationship with a cheater
    even if you love him do you think youd be able to trust someone that you knew cheated on someone else? ;{
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
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    You can't act on those feelings, no matter how much you want to. Let his marriage take it's own course.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    Dont do it,if he is willing to cheat on his wife he will cheat on anyone.
    Even if things are not going well with his wife I wouldnt think of doing anything till they were divorced.
  • strapple
    strapple Posts: 353 Member
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    im sorry though. that sounds incredibly painful :{
  • stephierae25
    stephierae25 Posts: 60
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    Don't do anything. Move on. He is a married man and until he is no longer married he is off limits.
  • AnaNotBanana
    AnaNotBanana Posts: 963 Member
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    The only person who is going to end up hurt here is you. He might be telling you he's not happy but you don't know for sure.
  • finean
    finean Posts: 1
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    if he cheats on her ... he will cheat on you
  • DaniiDean
    DaniiDean Posts: 162 Member
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    yeah hes married and thats a done deal. best to just leave it alone.


    best case scenario he cheats on his wife with you and leaves her

    then you're stuck in a relationship with a cheater
    even if you love him do you think youd be able to trust someone that you knew cheated on someone else? ;{

    True I wouldn't want him to cheat on me if I was with him.
  • poustotah
    poustotah Posts: 1,121 Member
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    He's married - that's a deal breaker.
  • kjensen15
    kjensen15 Posts: 398 Member
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    Yes move on because if he is willing to it with you, he'll be willing to do it to you! Cheat that is!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    if he cheats on her he'll cheat on you...even if it's emotionally...cancel the date, tell him to call you when he gets a divorce
  • hllamaster
    hllamaster Posts: 137 Member
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    I will tell you that part of his problem in is marriage might be the close relationship he has with you...I'm just speaking from life exsp.
  • DaniiDean
    DaniiDean Posts: 162 Member
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    I just want him so badly this is awful!
  • kimmerroze
    kimmerroze Posts: 1,330 Member
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    I don't hate you... no hard feelings here... but even tho your feelings are genuine they are wrong....

    just think if the situation were reversed and you were his wife who was going through so much heart ache and pain because of how the marriage was turning out...

    would you want some young thing coming along and trying to tear apart what little there is left, and what little chance there is of putting your marriage back together...


    I think it is time for you to think of someone besides yourself here.

    Leave the situation alone, and move on.
  • sweetsarahj
    sweetsarahj Posts: 701 Member
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    You're just torturing yourself. If he is not happy in his marriage he will end it on his own terms. You don't want to be the person that instigated it.

    But that isn't what you want to hear, right?
  • wsheaf82
    wsheaf82 Posts: 248 Member
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    In best case scenario, you're going to get hurt. Worst case scenario, your going to get hurt, caught, and shot by the man's wife.

    Ok maybe he leaves his wife for you. He probably should do that before dipping his oil stick in a hole it doesn't belong in. And if he did leave his wife for you, who to say it doesn't go well for you two in his eyes and he is then looking for the next new hole to explore and leave you for?

    Anyway you look at it, he's not available. And if he is making himself available to women that he shouldn't be, he doesn't rate that high on "a catch" scale.

    What if you were the wife? Does he seem that desirable anymore? Tell him to come back when he is single and you'll think about it.
  • starboardzor
    starboardzor Posts: 312
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    I'm not going to judge you. I've been there, done that. Been on both sides. I'm 26 and already divorced. It is NOT worth it. It will only end in drama for everyone. And if he tries to lean on your shoulder and tell you about how awful his wife is and what a victim he is? Well he wouldn't be the first or the last to play those cards.

    If you must go after it, go after it. Get burned. Just be sure to learn your lesson afterwards so you don't do it again.
  • kgillikin
    kgillikin Posts: 191 Member
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    Who cares if she would never find out. IT IS WRONG!!!!! He is married. If they divorce then you can pursue it. If you dont think you can trust yourself around him than DONT see him.
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