He is married :(

Options
24567

Replies

  • AngelaPowPowPOW
    AngelaPowPowPOW Posts: 293
    Options
    He's married, playing you, and you need to cut off communication with him. I wonder if his wife knows "things aren't going well". When my husband of 13 years cheated on me, that's what he had told his "mistress". I had no idea that things weren't going well. I was too busy making his dinner, doing his laundry,raising our children, planning our vacations, making dinner for his co-workers, and finding new and exciting things to do for our "date night" every Friday.
    Now he lives in a basement someplace, is car less, jobless and hasn't seen his children in over two years. Cie la vie.
  • fanceegirl75
    fanceegirl75 Posts: 620 Member
    Options
    The only person who is going to end up hurt here is you. He might be telling you he's not happy but you don't know for sure.

    Totally agree Ana...sweets you'll end up hurting in the end. Things may make a turn for the better with his marriage or it may not. But what ever the case you don't want to be caught in the midst of their drama nor add to their turmoil. If his marriage is having problems let him deal with it without using you as a way out. You don't want to be the other. Your mind is telling you it's wrong so go with that. Good luck!
  • Lisabackontrack
    Lisabackontrack Posts: 57
    Options
    Being married is a life-long commitment, a covenant between two people that shoud never be taken lightly. Whether or not his marriage is a good one is beside the point.

    Besides, if he cheats with you, he will cheat on you.
  • Newfiedan
    Newfiedan Posts: 1,517 Member
    Options
    as a married man my advice is to say off limits. You do not want to be the source of making the problem worse, if he goes for that then once a cheater always a cheater is what I say. It is a moral decision and a married man should know better, if more of us took our vows to heart then there would be a lot less divorces going on. For better or for worse means making it work.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    Options
    Use your head for something besides a hat rack!!

    I'll give you a very tiny bit of slack, because you are very young, but he needs a dent in his forehead. Do the math, if he was "really close friends" with a 14 yr old when he was 23, he is a predator in my book.

    If you were my daughter his status would have already changed from predator to prey.

    Wake up! You obviously know right from wrong. Doesn't matter how "genuine" your feelings are.
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    Options
    He is recently married and things are going wrong already? Yikes.

    Don't see him. The best way to avoid temptation is to AVOID TEMPTATION.
  • ♥_Ellybean_♥
    ♥_Ellybean_♥ Posts: 1,646 Member
    Options
    Would you really want to be the marriage breaker? What if you did do something than there is no options for his marriage to survive especially since it's trouble now.

    I would suggest not continuing your relationship wth this guy, I know you guys are friends, but if you are truley friends than you can put it off until he figures out what is going on with his marriage.

    Put yourself in his wife's shoes... How would you react if you found out? Especially if they are newly married.

    Give the marriage the chance to survive the first 2 years of a marriage are essentially the hardest, because you get out of the honeymoon stage and into real life -

    IF and when he decides that his marriage is over - and things are no longer part of a married couple (keep in mind to even file for divorce most states requires 6 months of seperation) than you can act on your feelings - until them you would just be a mistress setting yourself and that marriage up for disaster.
  • JanerZzz
    JanerZzz Posts: 276
    Options
    He sounds like a Bullishter to me. He could be saying stuff that's messing with your head. If he has no respect for his marriage, what respect will have for you if you are just a hook up....Don't do it. Not worth it. Sounds like a player...don't let him pull the wool over your eyes.
  • DaniiDean
    DaniiDean Posts: 162 Member
    Options
    I don't hate you... no hard feelings here... but even tho your feelings are genuine they are wrong....

    just think if the situation were reversed and you were his wife who was going through so much heart ache and pain because of how the marriage was turning out...

    would you want some young thing coming along and trying to tear apart what little there is left, and what little chance there is of putting your marriage back together...


    I think it is time for you to think of someone besides yourself here.

    Leave the situation alone, and move on.

    Yeah I know. I just want one night with him nothing serious. I know exactly what you are saying, I know wrong from right. Just gonna have to tell him straight :(
  • JenBrown0210
    JenBrown0210 Posts: 985 Member
    Options
    Look at it from the wifes point of view. I've been the wife with the cheating husband not fun. Marriages have their ups and downs. I would say no don't see him until he makes the choice to actually seperate from his wife.
  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
    Options
    Why waste your time? You have to remind yourself, he married SOMEONE ELSE......Don't waste your fun and independent years waiting for some guy to decide he wants to divorce the woman he just married, and this does not just effect you two anymore, there is another person involved.....
    I really believe that you would be the one to end up hurt, so why even put yourself out there like that? Go have fun at being single and enjoy life!
  • marindak
    marindak Posts: 168
    Options
    if he wanted a relationship with you he would've made that happen instead of marrying someone else.
    don't be 2nd in line.
    and as the others have said, if he cheats on her, he will cheat on you.
  • ShellyMacchi
    ShellyMacchi Posts: 975 Member
    Options
    he's married hun.
    It's simply not your 'time' at the moment so you need to back away...

    when the time comes, if the time comes, that he is 'free' for you to pursue more.. then sobeit... but this, newly married (?) is NOT your time.

    If it is mant to be, it will be, when the time is right, and at no one else's expense or pain.
  • wonnder1
    wonnder1 Posts: 460
    Options
    It is so easy to hang on to things that just aren't good for us isn't it? You know the answer as well as any of us.

    Cons:
    You'd be with a guy who can't stick with something he'd committed to.
    Every time he met a girl at work or the grocery store-you'd have to wonder if they're "just friends"
    You will get emotionally attached further, which will hurt harder when he goes back to her.
    Yes, she WILL find out.
    No, he will not be blamed.

    Pros:
    ummmm....you'd get some? (btw, we can get some anywhere.)
  • msproducer
    msproducer Posts: 101 Member
    Options
    Listen to your gut feeling. He is married and if or until he is legally divorced, don't go out with him! You wouldn't like anyone to step out on you if you were married. Move on. The more time you spend wasted with him, the longer it'll take for the "right one" & single man to come along. Been there, done that. I could write a book about it. If you'd like more girl talk, feel free to inbox me. :smile:

    Sharon
  • udallmom101
    udallmom101 Posts: 564 Member
    Options
    Here is the point of view from a woman whose late husband cheated on her ALL THE TIME!!!! It is best to walk away. Cut ties. You are better than to be "the other woman". If he "cheats" on his wife with you, he will do it to you too! Feelings may be there, but sometimes those feelings are best left unanswered. Not only will his wife be angry, upset, and spiteful if she finds out, your relationship you want will be built on top of a relationship that never really stood a chance to begin with. I didn't find out about my husband's flings until his funeral and two women showed up with children that looked almost identical to mine - they were younger than mine too. It is a pain that will make her cold and unhuman. Do you want to be a part of that feeling in someone? You have to walk away and realize that your confidence in yourself is the only thing you need. You do not need a man that would do that to you or his wife.
  • karla1083
    karla1083 Posts: 19
    Options
    Just don't do it......the best thing you can do is to cut all contact with him.....you don't need to put yourself through all that drama, it's definatetly not worth it.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Options
    If you sleep with him and he goes back to his wife, you're going to feel even worse.

    Let him go. :flowerforyou:
  • Karleyyy
    Karleyyy Posts: 857
    Options
    Don't even think about it.
  • DaniiDean
    DaniiDean Posts: 162 Member
    Options
    Use your head for something besides a hat rack!!

    I'll give you a very tiny bit of slack, because you are very young, but he needs a dent in his forehead. Do the math, if he was "really close friends" with a 14 yr old when he was 23, he is a predator in my book.

    If you were my daughter his status would have already changed from predator to prey.

    Wake up! You obviously know right from wrong. Doesn't matter how "genuine" your feelings are.

    I see what you mean about the age but I can tell you he is a decent guy. Just this feelings are insane. I need to tell him that I can't see him.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories