He is married :(

Your young and a bit naive, and it sounds as if you might have some low self esteem issues.
I think this person is taking advantage of you and unfortunately you will be the last one to realize that.

Your a beautiful 20 yo young woman, there are tons of guys your age with a lot more to offer than this cheater.

Walk away, and if he pursues teach him a lesson and tell his wife.

Also, I am a firm believer in karma.
What goes around comes around.

Can I just say I am not naive one bit I have had to grow up fast my dad left me when I was 14 tears old, was homeless for 6 months and WAS addicted to drugs for a while didn't go to school... now all clean and starting university this september. Not naive one bit and indeed such a strong person. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. Just asking opinions

no offense but its def not you people are feeling sorry for..

I really think you know the answer, especially if you know right from wrong. Bottom line is he committed to someone else. Maybe things are not good for them NOW, no marriage is perfect all the time. Be a decent person stop thinking of yourself and stay away, let them figure it out.

Look,
Temptation is bound to happen in everyone's lives. Being tempted is not a wrong doing. It's how you handle the temptation that makes it right or wrong. If you are tempted to do something you know is wrong but you give into that temptation, that is not handling the situation in a well manner. If you resist temptation of something you know is wrong, then you handled it appropriately.

Don't mean it in a derogatory way, but at 20 we're all a bit naive.
I look back at the some of the things I thought and the decisions I made when I was 20 and can only shake my head.

You have overcome so much already, and your clearly headed in the right direction.
Your planning on going to school and are taking interest in your health by being on this forum.

I think everyone on this forum wants to see you make the correct choice.
WALK AWAY, and DON'T LOOK BACK!

Im sorry i dont mean to be rude but you would not be a good person if you went along with this.I'm a firm believer in karma. I;ve been cheated on and it is the worst feeling in the world. I wouldnt wih it upon my worst enemy. Something tells me you've never been cheated on because if you have been...you wouldnt even have to ask this question...

One action in your life does not define you as being good or bad, sorry to break it to you.

cheating is just a very touchy subject for me. its just wrong and i have friends that have cheated on there boyfriends and i say the same things to them. I understand that it doesnt make her a bad person. but its awful and ****ty and i dont take back my opionions

UMMM this ONE action could definitely define someone as a bad person in my book, jus' sayin'. EsPeciAllY when posting to recieve feedback... all the while knowing its completely wrong. I would think with that being said its pretty safe to say they know right from wrong and if choosing the 'wrong' way, they are implying their morals are a wee bit off.

Thank you for all of your advice people of MFP.... I know what I gotta do.

may i ask you one question?? WHY THE HELL DID YOU EVEN CONCIDER IT???? did you really not know any better???? isn't it common sense?? didn't you learn when you were a kid that cheating is wrong and there are always conciquences, wheather its feeling bad or even worse?? c'mon girl, PLEASE tell me you have a brain!!

Many people consider questionable things. Our thoughts betray us all the time. What her actions say will speak more about her then considering on acting on the urges.

This thread could not of appeared and she could be shacked up in a hotel room being utterly disappointed in this married man lasting 30 seconds in bed with the guilt hitting her right about now. Instead there's a thread where people away from the situation is reinforcing her better judgment and helping her make the right decision.

*Fae covers her eyes with her wings, feels the doomed thread lock down about to commence*

WTF? ha haha

I'd probably get my players card taken away for replying (lol) DONT DO IT!!! In my younger days I have used that same line "things arent going well at home" I'm Just there for the kids blah blah blah bottom line we want our cake and eat it too. Im sure he has some feelings for you but the problem is the feelings are more lust than love we always want what we can have as men and will tell you anything to get it. problem is we do worry about the consequences until after our appetites are satisfied. Kinda like food (lol)

Dont do because in the end your feelings will be hurt more than his. He is just using you because he knows that you will let him in to that special place in your heart. When you go see him I'm sure you guys will have sex because he's not getting it from home so you are the next best thing. Then he will go back home to his wife and you'll be where? ALONE! Stop waisting your time and his, if he really wanted something serious with you he would've done it along time ago and before he got married. Not trying to crush your heart but its better to be Real about the situation, than to pat you on the back and say yes go. I'm not telling you to not go, I'm just telling you what may happen to your feelings if you do go. Good Luck, hope the situation doesn't blow up in your face.

Put yourself in his partners shoes. If roles were reversed and you two were married and having problems, and you found out he was with this other woman... wow... that would be the ultimate pain.
Sorry to say but the "wanting pain" you feel is nothing compared to the pain his wife would endure if her husband cheeted on her.

Don't do it. Nothing good can come of it.

Wow well this hits home for me.

I wish a certain woman would have once considered MY feelings and that of my children before she bought the "my marriage is on the rocks line of bull****".

Let me tell you something I would bet ANYTHING his wife has no idea her marriage is on the rocks, and even if she does I bet she doesn't know he's about to push it over the cliff. If he is agreeing to an open marriage without her knowledge that should tell you something right there.

You have no idea what infidelity does to a person, think suicidal thoughts, hopelesness, paranoid invading thoughts that NEVER go away, dealing with the fact that the one person you should have been able to trust your life with betrayed you in the worst way possible. and how about the fact that he's willing to DESTROY the mother of his children? I coudln't even talk to my kids for weeks, it took all I had to get out of bed in the morning and go to work and do what I had to do to keep them alive. The mommy they once knew never came back because of the selfish decision of 1 man and 1 woman - I had no say in them destroying my life as I knew it.

I will never understand a woman doing this to another woman. He is responsible for his actions but so are you!

Do me a favor. Go read some posts on survivinginfidelity.com If this doesn't change your mind I dont know what else will.

lmao... Prepare for the lockdown!!

Have you guys even talked about the possibility of "hooking up" when you see him? I think you might just be reading into things with your crush and sexual desire for him.He has moved on no matter how bad he says his marriage is, he is married and he married her for a reason, not to make a blow on your ego, but that reason wasn't to make YOU realize how great he was.
If his marriage is so horrible, and you slept together, you would have to know, he used you for not only sex, but for a legitimate excuse to get out of his marriage. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Tell him to focus on what he has, and you find something 100 times better. Don't disrespect yourself.

They don't leave their gf's or wives. I've seen so many women go down this road (myself included) and they won't leave and why would you want them too? Why put yourself in the position of the wife/gf? IF he ever left her to be with you he would cheat on you also. It's a vicious cycle. I'd cut all ties. It's a lot easier to cut all ties then to be continually USED (yes, that's what he's doing if he's getting attention from you). It sucks but you gotta just move forward...find someone not attached. I had to do a lot of soul searching as to why I was having trouble finding a SINGLE man. I've finally realized why and I'm concentrating on myself and helping myself now. Do yourself a favor...get out of it now.