A comment about your weight that still bothers you...
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oh my god!! im half asian from my moms side and that is exactly what she said!!! No one wants to marry you because they are scared what you will look like after you get bigger from a pregnancy!!! or no man will want you because you so big. I love my mom but she is old school asian so that is what she was brought up to believe.0
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I think the sad thing is we all have comments that stuck with us, but if you asked the person who said them, they wouldnt remember it at all.. Not to mention i bet they would feel really crappy if it was brought to their attention how much it hurt every single person who has posted!1
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Stepfather: you have legs like a football player
(I was 12 years old at the time and super thin & he was fat). He repeated that throughout the time I lived there.
Mother: you'll get FAAAAT if you OPEN THE REFRIGERATOR!!!
(I was tired from walking home from school which took 30 mins. Turns out later I have hypoglycemia and something like an apple would have helped me tremendously to help stave off hypoglycemia, which I have now, terribly). I was not fat. I was skinny skinny and I'd go out and have banana splits with my friends at night, not gaining weight really.
Only thing is, I felt I was fat at 15. I weighed 115 lbs even at hs graduation and felt that I was "fat", with "football legs". I would like to go back in time and hold myself, telling younger me that it will all be all right, that the fairy tale ending is coming, that you can make it through anything, even Hell growing up in that home.1 -
When I was in middle school, I was actually called anorexic a lot! I was really thin then, about 105-110 at 5'9'' but I ate all the time. I think I just had a high metabolism. Around the end of 10th grade I gained a bunch of weight and was at 175 and 5'10''. Then, I was called fat. I used to do the guess your weight thing at the fairs since they always guessed a lot higher, and one time a boy about 9 or 10 saw my weight and said very loudly "Holy crap that's big!".
I started MFP at 165 and am now about 156 and some people call me too thin, others say I could lose another 15 pounds or so and some (like my wonderful fiance) say that I look great where I am now. I figure people cannot fully judge what fat and thin is unless they have been one or the other themselves. I believe it's more about how you feel then what other people think. I like my weight now but am in between jean sizes and I am not going back up. 5 more pounds would be perfect no matter who thinks it too much or not enough.0 -
My mom used to tell me (and occasionally still does) when we are shopping "that would look so much better if you lost 5 pounds."
I still think about that all the time when I shop. I brought it up to her once a couple of years ago and she explained meant it as a motivator for me to not have the same weight struggles as her when I grew up, but it still kills me.0 -
When I was planning for my first half marathon, I was nowhere near goal weight. I told my mom that I had registered and she said, "But you don't have a runner's body!"
Isn;t it just grand that people make such comments? I got that from a 'friend', while other 'friends' who were listening to our conversation snickered and shook their heads in disbelief. Well , 6 years later, I have 3 half marathons and many many 10k's under my belt and they are no longer my 'friends'.1 -
When I was in my early twenties I wanted to be a lawyer and I had got into college. A friend of my Dad worked at this law practice. I remember the day he called me into his office and told me how I couldn't go meet this friend of his at the law practice wearing the clothes I normally did or being how I was (i.e. fat and wearing baggy clothes). I would have worn a suit had I gone to the interview. I ended up turning down the interview. I always think of that day and how bad I felt. I applied to medical school on my own with no contacts or help from anyone on my own terms. Don't get me wrong, my Dad is supportive of me in lots of ways but sometimes he says stupid things. I think most of the time people don't know how much they hurt you.1
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My lovely mother...
Three months before I was due to move to America and get married I moved back in with my parents, to save money and because I had quit my job (I had no idea how long the visa would take, and I had to set a date for my boss). The first night I was there I had a two hour lecture on my weight - on all the comments my mother had been receiving from her friends and how embarrassed it made her (I am 5'7, 180 lbs, so not overly huge).
So I joined Weightwatchers with my aunt... returned, and my mother asked how it had been. I said I had enjoyed myself and that they recommended a goal of 1-2 lbs loss a week. Well, that sent my mother off into an even bigger rant; 'only 1-2lb a week? Your sister's friend managed 4 lb a week! You'll only lose 12 lb by your wedding!'
I lost 10 lb, moved to America, and kept the weight off (but did not lose any more). When my family flew over for the wedding, the FIRST thing out of her mouth was not 'hello' or 'how are you' but 'well, I see you haven't lost any more weight'.
She bought me (well, with my birthday money from another aunt, so more like bought on my behalf) a hideously unflattering wedding dress, which I wore because I didn't really have the time or money to buy another. I don't think I have looked as fat in any photo as I have on my wedding day... needless to say, any wedding photos I had have long since been destroyed! (My friends and husband both agree that the photos my dad took are distinctly unflattering). Yet on the actual day she kept telling me how beautiful I looked, and told me a few months later that she'd been proudly showing them to all her friends!
This is probably what annoys me most however:
In my third year of university, I ran out of money, was very unhappy, and for a couple of months I subsisted on little more than a slice or two of cheese on toast a day. Goodness knows how few calories I was eating or what it did to my body! However, I did drop to my lowest weight - below 140 lbs - and I have a tiny skirt as evidence of how small my waist was back then.
My mother continually refers to how great I looked back then. I have told her that I lost the weight in a very unhealthy fashion, and that it was not something I could have sustained long term (naturally I gained astronomically as soon as I had money to eat food!), and yet she still keeps telling me that I ought to look like that again.1 -
Family can be the cruelest and hurt the worst. I thought of something else too.
My father who was fat as far back as I can remember was given HELL by my grandmother about his weight. What she said to him hurt me. My mother also said cruel things about his weight, him, and about his gf's who were always fat. And my mother would say it with the worst sarcastic mean dripping from her mouth. Of course my dad was a LOSER bc he was FAT, and his gfs were FAT, and they were all losers.
My mother had been chubby at one time and lost it all by eating hardly anything, and still lives like that to this day. She has slight anorexia and is obsessed with weight.0 -
My Mum, all the time. I was a normal sized kid and then got fat as soon as I hit puberty, every time we went clothes shopping she would almost bring me to tears (not big on public displays of emotion). "That's fattening" "You look too fat" "You're too fat to wear that." Basically told me every single thing I wanted to wear made me look fat, that I needed to diet, on and on and on. I didn't even know I was fat at the time, I just wanted to wear the clothes that were in fashion! She would make daily comments, apparently supposed to motivate me.
It has taken me years to feel more confident in my appearance again. And still, now that I am losing weight she will congratulate me, and I will be thinking "*kitten* you! I'm not doing this for you!" lol. I still get very angry. But it's better to be angry than feel like she's right, and I should be ashamed of myself/value myself based on looks. I do realise she has her own issues though that she is projecting onto me. She has struggled with weight all her life herself.
Also, she's Asian and has a very small frame, whereas I am half and while also short have a curvier frame. She can't seem to accept this. Always tells me my hips look huge and I've several times made her poke my hips, to prove that is where the bone is. Bah.1 -
i was a fat kid, or so i was told, and in high school, there was this boy in homeroom (yea, first thing EVERY morning) who called me 'ham hock'. really? what does that mean exactly?! oddly enough, this same kid got struck by lightening and died shortly after high school (true story...).0
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When my dad told me he had asked my mom for a divorce after 30 years, he was still processing it, and I know it just slipped out of his mouth, but he said to me, "I don't like fat women. Don't get fat."1
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It sucks when people make mean comments
I moved in with my boyfriend 3 years ago and rapidly put on weight, however I had no clue since I never weighed myself (remember, the dryer shrinks all of the clothes lol). A coworker asked how it was going & I said I was happy, and she just replied "I can tell, you really packed on a few!"
I'll never forget it!0 -
"I've never had a girlfriend as big as you."
Didn't stay his girlfriend much past that comment!1 -
I'm frustrated because i work so hard burning anywhere from 500 to over 1000 calories a day and eating 1400 to 1600 calories per day and havn't seen the results I expected. I started on March 24th at 170 and got down to 165 last Thursday but the way I train and eat should put me around 155 in another week or so. Im far away from that and it makes me wonder whats wrong. I eat very healthy since I have competed in figure and bodybuilding since 2003. I still let myself have a drink or two every week but always stay within my calorie range. Any ideas?0
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There was also my great aunt who said "My, your arms are so chunky!"0
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I can't believe how peoples families can say such things! I was a darn ugly child! But I like to think Im a swan now! hehehe, but my Mother ALWAYS told me I was gorgeous, and everyone else who said horrid things were just jealous!
I DO HOWEVER remember James Miller in the fourth year calling me fat!....and I WAS NOT a fat kid! (that came later! lol) and the nerve of him!!! HE WAS FAT! lol....but its stuck with me and Im now 41! lol......I might look him up on FB, I bet he has a beer gut! lol
YOU GO FOR IT GIRL! HOW RIDICULOUS TO SAY A HAIRCUT CAN ALTER YOUR FIGURE ANYWAY!!! xxx0 -
when I wanted to run my first 10k run and I guess I made the mistake of telling my mother I was worried because instead of her saying " Just do your best" she said " back out, tell them you can't do it"! hmmm.... thanks for the support. You know what I did? I trained a few times a week and I finished that run! I had no one waiting at the finish line for me ( again,,,, no support) but I did it and I will always be proud of myself! Bottom line... don't let ANYONE bring you down. I'm sure you will ROCK that hair cut!1
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After my parents divorced my dad would stop by to drop off child support. One night he stopped by he said, "When are you going to go on a diet, youre gaining a lot of weight" ... that's thanks to your divorce, sir!
I lost 110lb (unhealthily) and gained maybe 10-20lb and my grandfather says, "Are you eating junk again? You're gaining a lot back, you need to take care of that before it gets out of hand..." What got out of hand was my lack of eating, so thanks, pop! They're the two major things that still linger over my head day to day. Some people are insensitive and maybe I'm a little too sensitive on the subject.1 -
My sister in law said in front of everyone in party, I should take care of my big belly (I weigh 142 lbs then). My husband tells me everyday how ugly and short I look because of my weight.
My another sister-in law who is 12 years older me said, I look so older than her because of my weight.:mad:
I have hypothyroid and had always struggle with weight gain and depression.1 -
Both my sisters weigh like 100 or 110 lbs at 5'6" and 5'4" . They are super skinny and barely eat enough! Just looking at them reminds me of what I look like!0
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My dad tried to get me to go tanning with him once (yeah, really), and I told him I didn't want to because i didn't feel comfortable laying in a bikini in public. He told me "You wonder why no guys want to go out with you? Maybe if you lost some of that weight and weren't so pale they'd actually notice you."
I was sixteen.1 -
I will never forget when I was in third grade, one of my classmates said to me"don't break the chair" I even remember his name, I was so hurt, it has stuck with me until this day.
I remember comments like this...
I also had a family member who got really mad at me and wrote "fat b*tch" across one of my prom pictures...that was pretty devestating (especially since at the time I was at a weight to which is my goal weight NOW)..
But one thing that hurt the most at the time was my husbands 2nd cousin (she was maybe 7) told another cousin she couldn't move over on the couch because "she's too fat" aka...I was on the other end and she was claiming I was taking up all the room. Yep...I did cry over that one. When the husband found out, it came up in convo with his mom and she of course told his aunt and good lord was she pi$$ed...but the kid was 7....she didn't know any better. :indifferent:1 -
I have a great aunt who says things like "You sure have gotten fat since the last time I've seen you huh?" But she's an old bitty and as annoying as it is to hear we just laugh at her.
What did upset me was talkingt to the detailer about getting orders. It was September and I already knew I was going to have to pass my PRT in November in order to get orders to go to my next base.
The detailer looks at my record and says "You've got PT failures." "Yes, Senior" "So what happened? You decided you wanted to get out of the Navy, it just wasn't for you so you failed on purpose?" "You're young and fresh out of boot camp, there's no excuse for this."
I was annoyed because obviously from an outsiders point of view I was a screw up, my college courses and the time I spent studying for advancement and EAWS meant nothing because they'd yielded no results so far.
As much as I hated hearing him just assume all of this about me, what hurt worse was the fact that since he was a Senior Chief none of the 2nd classes in the office who saw me day in and day out showing up for study sessions were brave enough to open their mouths and back me up.0 -
My sister in law said in front of everyone in party, I should take care of my big belly (I weigh 142 lbs then). My husband tells me everyday how ugly and short I look because of my weight. My another sister-in law who is 12 years older me said, I look so older than her because of my weight.:mad:
I have hypothyroid and had always struggle with weight gain and depression.
This is extremely disturbing to me...especially that your husband says things like that... :noway:1 -
"If you were as skinny as Whitney (my ex-bestfriend who weighed 100 lbs), I'd marry you today"
Got to hear that from my boyfriend.1 -
My sister in law said in front of everyone in party, I should take care of my big belly (I weigh 142 lbs then). My husband tells me everyday how ugly and short I look because of my weight. My another sister-in law who is 12 years older me said, I look so older than her because of my weight.:mad:
I have hypothyroid and had always struggle with weight gain and depression.
This is extremely disturbing to me...especially that your husband says things like that... :noway:
Me too, your husband should not be saying things like that...nor should you be putting up with that *kitten*...stick up for yourself because nobody else will.0 -
When I was in High School I was about 5'6 and 160 lbs. I was on the varsity cheerleading squad and knew I wasn't skinny but I wasn't huge either. A guy in my class was really big and called me fat all the time and would say I hope I never get as big as her. It hurt so bad even though I knew he was twice my size it still bother me.
My brother called me fat and made fun of me the whole time we were growing up. I went into the military and came home skinny and when I saw him he had gained like 40 lbs so then I got to call him fat.
I can't wait to get this weight off but my husband says all the time you have a big butt and I dont want you to lose any of your butt but this butt is going bye bye.1 -
There are two that stick out in my mind...
My step-mother telling me when I was about 20 that my pants had not shrunk in length - my *kitten* had gotten bigger which made them shorter.
And when I walked the three-day this past fall, I was climbing out of the very tiny tent and remarking that it would be very hard to share a tent. (My planned tentmate had gotten pregnant so I didn't have to share). Another of my teammates replied, "Well that's why you have to pick a skinny tentmate".0 -
A stranger saying "I see congratulations are in order." 2 years after I had had a baby.0
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