The funniest or strangest attempt at a pick up.....

I worked for wonder bread and was wearing a jacket with the logo on it, minding my own business in a grocery store and and older (probably late 30's when I was earl 20s) came up to me and said I hear you have the best buns in town.

Another time a woman walks over to me stops, looks at something on the ground for a second, bends over and picks it up. She shows me the screw she's got in her hand and hands it to me saying "wanna screw" all seductive like.

I don't really have any funny stories.........most guys that hit on me are a lot older than me. Like old enough to be my dad, it's creepy.



I do have a story though. My mom's on again/off again boyfriend has a younger brother that is 2yrs older than me. He would tag along for cookouts or just hang out sometimes. I didn't mind figured I'd make a new friend. Not my type though he had just been released from jail for robbing a McDonalds and Pizza hut and didn't have a job, go to school or have a car and got high on a regular basis. Although I don't have much luck in the boyfriend department i do have standards. No offense to anyone that gets high but I am total anti-drug thanks to a little family history. Well he had asked me out multiple times, told him no, he wasn't my type but we could be friends. I was slowly finding out he had a bad temper. 1x him and his brother came over for a cookout and my mom and his brother ran to the store for something leaving us alone and he pinned me to the wall which sent me into panic mode...i grabbed a candle lighter that was on the counter next to me and threatened to burn him.......he didn't believe me and went in for a kiss and i burned part of his mustache off.

I don't really have any funny stories.........most guys that hit on me are a lot older than me. Like old enough to be my dad, it's creepy.



I do have a story though. My mom's on again/off again boyfriend has a younger brother that is 2yrs older than me. He would tag along for cookouts or just hang out sometimes. I didn't mind figured I'd make a new friend. Not my type though he had just been released from jail for robbing a McDonalds and Pizza hut and didn't have a job, go to school or have a car and got high on a regular basis. Although I don't have much luck in the boyfriend department i do have standards. No offense to anyone that gets high but I am total anti-drug thanks to a little family history. Well he had asked me out multiple times, told him no, he wasn't my type but we could be friends. I was slowly finding out he had a bad temper. 1x him and his brother came over for a cookout and my mom and his brother ran to the store for something leaving us alone and he pinned me to the wall which sent me into panic mode...i grabbed a candle lighter that was on the counter next to me and threatened to burn him.......he didn't believe me and went in for a kiss and i burned part of his mustache off.

Okay that's SUPER creepy and scary but I totally laughed at you burning his mustache off. Good for you!

Recently, another dude tried to pick me up. (That's not the team I play for...not that there's anything wrong with that). Anyway he told me I was cute and wanted to go out. I said "I'm sorry....I'm straight"

And he responded with.."So's spaghetti......till you heat it up". I had a good laugh, then went home sat, weeping, in the corner for 3 days.

:laugh: Gotta give him credit for being creative that's for sure.

"Hi. I have a job." Always worked well for me.

lmbo!

And a few years back my girl friends and I were out and a guy was dancing with us for most of the night, he followed me out to my car so I could get something and then came back in the club. When the girls and I left, I found him sitting on top of my Explorer on the luggage rack, naked! With just his hat on! He had to be off his nut! It took lots of convincing to get him to come down!

i was drunk that night & you promised that you were going to keep it a secret.:blushing:

Ooooooooooooooooo, My bad. lol.

I usually forget all of the cheesy pick up lines.


My ex got me by asking me to watch his beer while he went to the bathroom. That wouldn't normally have done it but he kept chatting me up. At one point I went out on the dance floor and he was talking to the woman I had come to the club with and was telling her how hot I was and how much he wanted to "get to know me" and could she please put a good word in with her "roommate"

So when I get back from dancing, she tells me (right in front of him) that he was talking about how hot I am and commenting on various fine *ahem* assets of mine. I turn to him and say "oh really, you said all of that to her?" and he said something about just chatting with my roommate about me. At this point I had to tell him...that's my MOM. :laugh:

He was so embarrassed but handled it really well. We were together for 3 years.

Bawhahahaaaa! That is hilarious! What did your mom say???? Sounds a lot like my mom, we go to concerts all the time and have a blast! SO glad she had me young.

Oh she thought it was hilarious. We got that a lot. My mom looks GREAT for her age. Everyone always assumed we were cousins or sisters...they never thought she was my mom. :laugh: It was a blast going out with her...not so much anymore because I don't get hit on and she still does. :grumble:

This is so funny Red! You have many assets so you'll have to narrow it down for us. :blushing:

:laugh: It is the 2 you are thinking of Righty and Lefty. :blushing:

I was at a bar one night and this guy I've known for awhile, was completely ****housed...he walks up to me, introduces himself and before he let me tell him we've already met like months ago, he says, "you sexy *kitten* would look hot on the back of my crotch rocket"...I just looked at him , hoping it was a joke. He was completely serious. You have to understand, he's not necessarily the smallest or shortest man and I would never get on a "crotch rocket" unless I was riding it myself, let alone with him. I asked him the next day and he didn't remember it at all. I still give him **** about it all the time. lol

I'm so dense when it comes to being hit on. First off, it's a rarity for me. Second, even in the rare occasion that it does happen it normally goes right over my head.

My freshman year of college I was riding a transit bus to class and this blonde woman sits down next to me. She says hi and I say hi back. She starts asking about where I'm from...ect. Then mentions how she's new around here and doesn't no many people and doesn't go out much. It was a about an half an hour ride and I'm a friendly guy and she seemed nice so I kept talking with her. Turns out she went to the same school and we're in the same biology class. She asks if I'd like to be study buddies and gives me her number and I gave her mine.

So, later that week she calls and asks me to come over to study, so I say OK. I show up with my books and notes, We study and she gets a little touchy feelly. I didn't think too much of it, some people are just like that, I thought. So, I leave and she seems a little put off but didn't say what the deal was. Then I see her at class and she won't even look at me. I tried calling her to find out what the issue was and she wouldn't call back.

Then a week later I hear from another classmate that who happened to be a friend of hers (didn't know anyone huh?!) that she was mad because I turned her down.

The problem was I was so dense I didn't even realize she was hitting on me! She was plenty cute and if wasn't such a moron.....

Oh...well. If that turned into anything I wouldn't have found my wife, so it all turns out well in the end.

A friend of mine went up to a woman in a club and said to her "Excuse me, I seem to have lost my ear-muffs. Do you think I could borrow your thighs?" :-) It didn't work.