Calorie counting as my last resort.
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I see your getting a lot of flack for taking care of your husband, but I understand. I get up and make mine breakfast and lunch before I head to the gym and after work I make dinner for the family- we choose our burdens.
No flack is being given for taking care of her husband, but feeding him? His total inability to make even a frozen dinner? Unless he is physically unable to do that for himself, is not taking care.
I do 90% of the cooking here, but if I choose not to my husband will fend for himself. And I sure as hell don't feed him
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My wife would just let me starve. She's not missing the gym. I could be keeling over in a dead faint, and she'd be like "try not to die on our new carpet".GiveMeCoffee wrote: »I see your getting a lot of flack for taking care of your husband, but I understand. I get up and make mine breakfast and lunch before I head to the gym and after work I make dinner for the family- we choose our burdens.
No flack is being given for taking care of her husband, but feeding him? His total inability to make even a frozen dinner? Unless he is physically unable to do that for himself, is not taking care.
I do 90% of the cooking here, but if I choose not to my husband will fend for himself. And I sure as hell don't feed him
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My wife would just let me starve. She's not missing the gym. I could be keeling over in a dead faint, and she'd be like "try not to die on our new carpet".GiveMeCoffee wrote: »I see your getting a lot of flack for taking care of your husband, but I understand. I get up and make mine breakfast and lunch before I head to the gym and after work I make dinner for the family- we choose our burdens.
No flack is being given for taking care of her husband, but feeding him? His total inability to make even a frozen dinner? Unless he is physically unable to do that for himself, is not taking care.
I do 90% of the cooking here, but if I choose not to my husband will fend for himself. And I sure as hell don't feed him
Oh yea don't mess up the new carpet.. if you are keeling over go outside please.0 -
so you're hoping your weightloss will fix all those problems?
its the other way around. all those problems and overwhelming schedule is whats causing the weight in the first place. you must start there.
what can you take off your plate?
what can you say no to?
who can help you?
the husband issues, I'm sure he didnt become that way overnight. you guys each fell into a role and thats where he stayed. natural consequences might help, he doesn't do laundry well then don't do his laundry for example.
what is his response when you ask for help? if he doesn't want to clean what can he do? run kids around? grocery shop? you need to list everything out and he can decide what he can do from the list. or halt everything, I'm serious. go on strike.0 -
My wife would just let me starve. She's not missing the gym. I could be keeling over in a dead faint, and she'd be like "try not to die on our new carpet".GiveMeCoffee wrote: »I see your getting a lot of flack for taking care of your husband, but I understand. I get up and make mine breakfast and lunch before I head to the gym and after work I make dinner for the family- we choose our burdens.
No flack is being given for taking care of her husband, but feeding him? His total inability to make even a frozen dinner? Unless he is physically unable to do that for himself, is not taking care.
I do 90% of the cooking here, but if I choose not to my husband will fend for himself. And I sure as hell don't feed him
HahahaHahaha your wife sounds like me
Op= If do mostly all the cooking but my partner helps me with the cleaning, washing and anything else that needs doing.
It's not the 50s where it was a women's place to do everything whist the man works.
A relationship should be a partnership. Yours seems a bit one sided.
Good luck
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beamer0821 wrote: »so you're hoping your weightloss will fix all those problems?
its the other way around. all those problems and overwhelming schedule is whats causing the weight in the first place. you must start there.
what can you take off your plate?
what can you say no to?
who can help you?
the husband issues, I'm sure he didnt become that way overnight. you guys each fell into a role and thats where he stayed. natural consequences might help, he doesn't do laundry well then don't do his laundry for example.
what is his response when you ask for help? if he doesn't want to clean what can he do? run kids around? grocery shop? you need to list everything out and he can decide what he can do from the list. or halt everything, I'm serious. go on strike.
all of this.0 -
You sound extremely busy like most mom's with kids are. Somehow you need to squeeze in some time for yourself. I know other's make comments about your hubby, but just ignore them. You are so typical of young mothers: doing everything for others all day long at your expense.
Since you do the cooking, try some quick healthy recipes for family meals. Keep more fruit and veggies around for snacking or to grab and go.
There are great exercise videos on youtube. If you're sitting at your desk - set a timer to remind yourself to get up and just walk in place for a minute or two every hour. The more you think about YOU, the more time you'll find to take care of your needs. It isn't selfish- the healthier and happier YOU are the better it is for your entire family.
You can do this.
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SonicDeathMonkey80 wrote: »Make him cook dinner for the sex
Thank you, that just gave me the best giggle i've had for a long while.
I was going to expand on that context but thinks mmm, i'd probably get post removed again lol0 -
OP if you are going to use diet alone, then please take the time to prepare properly , read the stickies and learn how to use MFP. Learn how to log and weight your food .0
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You've a lot on your plate.
You can do this, get your hubby to help you out more.0 -
Time to teach the kids life skills and kick the husband into touch - or do you enjoy the martyrdom/ready excuses?
No, I do love my husband, he is somewhat spoiled but is extremely busy himself. He needs to be taken care of just like I do, or my kids do, or anyone else. I do need more help than weight loss, I thought this was a good place to start.0 -
If you are looking for a workout suggestion....Walk at Home, Walk Away the Pounds are videos by Leslie Sansone. These are totally doable in home, in a small space. No equipment and no choreography so there's nothing to learn and you go at your own pace. Just put in 10-15 minutes here and there to get started.
One method that may not require logging calories (not for everyone) is the 5:2 Diet or intermittent fasting. You eat maintenance 5 days a week & eat 500 calories the other 2. I say that it "may" not require logging. Some people start by logging just to know that they can stay on track and not go crazy (binges) on days off. Long term maintenance would require some form of 500 calorie fasting here & there.
You can do this - just stay positive!
Thank you, this is great advise.0 -
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Time to teach the kids life skills and kick the husband into touch - or do you enjoy the martyrdom/ready excuses?
No, I do love my husband, he is somewhat spoiled but is extremely busy himself. He needs to be taken care of just like I do, or my kids do, or anyone else. I do need more help than weight loss, I thought this was a good place to start.
So who's taking care of you?
My husband and I look after each other... That's why I married him!
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Chimis_Siq wrote: »If your husband is disabled, I tip my hats off to you for running everything...if he is not ,, it appears the only weight you need to lose is him..what does he weigh?
He is just busy as well, holding down a full time job an hour from home and taking care of his grandmother for an hour every day before he comes home. Once there he goes outside and works on the tractor to rebuild our driveway which desperately needs done, he stays out there until dark. I didn't mean to make him sound bad, just trying to figure out how to balance it all and keep focused on my own goals.0 -
Chimis_Siq wrote: »If your husband is disabled, I tip my hats off to you for running everything...if he is not ,, it appears the only weight you need to lose is him..what does he weigh?
He is just busy as well, holding down a full time job an hour from home and taking care of his grandmother for an hour every day before he comes home. Once there he goes outside and works on the tractor to rebuild our driveway which desperately needs done, he stays out there until dark. I didn't mean to make him sound bad, just trying to figure out how to balance it all and keep focused on my own goals.
He's an adult he can fend for himself while you take time for yourself or you can continue trying to fix everyone else's issues and wear yourself too thin to worry about your own well being.
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In September I began calorie counting and using the fitbit flex to track steps. So far I am down 6 pounds. Using myfitness pal helps counting the calories0
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TavistockToad wrote: »Time to teach the kids life skills and kick the husband into touch - or do you enjoy the martyrdom/ready excuses?
No, I do love my husband, he is somewhat spoiled but is extremely busy himself. He needs to be taken care of just like I do, or my kids do, or anyone else. I do need more help than weight loss, I thought this was a good place to start.
So who's taking care of you?
My husband and I look after each other... That's why I married him!
Just what I was going to say! Lessen your load. The kids don't have to be in "every sport imaginable." They should have chore lists and help out around the house as well. Cook enough on the weekends to fill the fridge and freezer for the week. There are many ways to make more time for yourself.
Step #1- Ask your family for help. Explain to them what you need from them in order to be successful. Do it.0 -
Counting and watching what you eat is how you help yourself..not a last resort.0
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beamer0821 wrote: »so you're hoping your weightloss will fix all those problems?
its the other way around. all those problems and overwhelming schedule is whats causing the weight in the first place. you must start there.
what can you take off your plate?
what can you say no to?
who can help you?
the husband issues, I'm sure he didnt become that way overnight. you guys each fell into a role and thats where he stayed. natural consequences might help, he doesn't do laundry well then don't do his laundry for example.
what is his response when you ask for help? if he doesn't want to clean what can he do? run kids around? grocery shop? you need to list everything out and he can decide what he can do from the list. or halt everything, I'm serious. go on strike.
This is excellent ^^^
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Hi all. I am an antisocial (not because I want to be but because I emotionally can not handle being around people-so a gym is out of the question) working mom who does administrative work 40-45 hours per week then runs two kids to every sport imaginable, while trying to maintain the home, teaching Sunday School with attendance twice a week,
Ummm.. That really doesn't fit the definition of anti-social.the basic care of a husband who does not cook, clean, or feed himself even if it is a microwavable frozen meal.
Take care of yours and the kids' food, load his down with magnesium citrate. He'll take up cooking PDQ in between trips to the bathroom (if he ever leaves the bathroom).Typical probably but Lord help me I am overwhelmed. I pray losing weight will help and give me the energy to fulfill the daily chores & requests.
You don't need to lose weight to fulfill everyone's requests. Do it for yourself. Sounds like you have too much on your plate and learn to say that you cannot fit anymore in your schedule.I've tried everything in the past, including calorie counting.
This needs to be your FIRST choice, not an option.Goal at least 60 pounds...
We all wish you the best of luck!! Magnesium citrate is CHEAP and can be found at any pharmacy in the laxatives section
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If you need weight loss advice, I can give you that, but anyone who told you anything but something along the lines of "you need a new husband, and self respect" is entirely missing a huge point. Your definition is not "wife, mother, Christian." You are a person in your own right, and Jesus would tell you that too.0
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Hi Shelly. You sound like a person who has taken on the wight of the world to lighten other people’s lives, but who herself is weighed down and unable to ask for help. I was like this five years ago, and was mostly ok with it, until I developed a serious health issue.
So, I’m going to start by attacking what - based on how I was- is the real source of the problem: taking on too much.
I’m recommending “The Art of extreme Self Care” as this helped me realise that, you know what? I couldn’t remember the last time I had time to RELAX, let alone have a hobby.
It is HARD for over-doers to say “no” to requests. HARD for us to ask for help. But so essential for our health and sanity that we learn to do so. And I promise you won’t become “mean” because of it. You’ll just be a person with boundaries and who can occasionally do something fun- read a book, take a class. You’re self esteem will soar from just this one thing.
The second thing I’m going to recommend is
http://crockpot365.blogspot.com.es/2014/09/weekly-slow-cooker-meal-plans.html
Because slow cooker + meal planning = easy way to control what you eat and reduce time in the kitchen right there.
The third thing I’m going to recommend is what I did to get my partner to realise how stressed i was by my chore list
(he was helping out, I have to say, but I still felt there was too much going on on my side): I made an excel sheet with all the time I spent doing various chores, including time at work. Then I asked him to fill in his hours so we could distribute the workload better. After that I got dinner cooked twice a week, and we agreed on getting a housekeeper every fortnight so we’d spend less time cleaning (he’s a very busy guy who travels for work a lot). All of these things take a certain mindset change and an acceptance that I needed time to myself and shouldn't be expected to "do it all".
I wish you the very best of luck. It's a long journey, but worth every step.0
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