I got my feelings hurt.
MistyinTN
Posts: 78 Member
So my husband and I were talking this morning about liposuction and tummy tucks. He proceeded to ask me how I got all that excess skin on my belly. I was so hurt and I cried. I'm trying to be forgiving but it's hard. I weigh 130 now but still need to lose a little more. Surgery is not an option and in comparison to what I've seen, mine isn't really that bad.
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Don't you worry about that sweety, a little work in the gym and it'll tighten up after putting in the work. A little insensitive of him--but hey, men suck sometimes!
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He's your husband and he doesn't know how you got the belly? Is it brand new?0
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Does he really not know how you got excess skin on your stomach, or was he trying to be rude? This post isn't very clear.0
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Did you tell him that he hurt your feelings? I think that should be the first step.
I'm sorry your feelings were hurt and I hope your day gets better.0 -
No I had a child from a previous marriage.0
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Lift weights and show his *kitten* the couch. (Men are insensitive sometimes).0
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...? I guess you'd have to be there to get an appreciation for tone. The question could come across as being critical or just as a request for information.
Depending on how it was asked, if someone had asked me that question, I think I'd answer with: "The excess skin gnomes were feeling generous this year. How do you think it got there?" And then smile sweetly.0 -
Apparently his ex-wife didn't have any problems rebounding after 2 kids.0
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Nice man bashing. Don't you mean people suck or are insensitive sometimes? What happened to equality?0
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We don't understand the details, just as many women you have not given birth don't understand the gory details. Mars/Venus - don't read too much into it. We say stupid things sometimes.0
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im sorry that he is an *kitten*, but men sometimes are clueless, thankfully my husband has a child from a previous marriage and is not clueless from his experiences.
However, its very hard to get rid of but not impossible you are amazing that you lost all that weight, believe me I balled my eyes out when my husband, then only my Boyfriend says to me if your not happy with your weight just get the surgery my aunt had a gastric bypass and they tyed her stomach I looked at him gave him the meanest look and walked away in tears I was so upset, I was like are you freaking kidding! NO! I am not eligible and no I will not get surgery! ill do this and work my *kitten* off for it!
some men are clueless!0 -
You're beautiful. Dump him, marry me.0
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Liftng4Lis wrote: »Lift weights and show his *kitten* the couch. (Men are insensitive sometimes).
^^. Done.0 -
Wow.
Kind of glad I'm married to another man at this point. I don't usually buy into the Men are from Mars crap, but some of the commentary here is just...odd.
Jeebus.0 -
I'm lost. :huh:0
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Strange that your husband didn't know the answer already.0
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Apparently his ex-wife didn't have any problems rebounding after 2 kids.
Don't go there with the comparing between you and her, that will only make things worse (or at least it would for me)
It sounds like its not fat, but if you start lifting it will help. But I would say something to him if you're bothered by the comment enough. You know your husband better than we do, but for my husband, so I didn't come off as just overly-emotional, I would say "You know that comment about my stomach? Yay, it was rude so knock it off with those okay?"
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So my husband and I were talking this morning about liposuction and tummy tucks. He proceeded to ask me how I got all that excess skin on my belly. I was so hurt and I cried. I'm trying to be forgiving but it's hard. I weigh 130 now but still need to lose a little more. Surgery is not an option and in comparison to what I've seen, mine isn't really that bad.
why is surgery not an option? is it the cost?
men can be insensitive like that. my husband knows full well why my torso is a disaster area (i've had a floop of lower belly skin/fat all my life, lost 70lbs and it had just started to finally shrink, then got massively pregnant with twins... now i have an inverted T-zone of permanent damage that will only come off with surgery), and we've talked about getting me a tummy tuck to get rid of it. he tries very hard to be understanding without acting like an *kitten*.
i told him that we'll talk to another plastic surgeon after i've gotten more blood tests and talked to an endocrinologist again to see why i'm not losing weight the way i should. i'd like to be thinner and have stronger muscles before surgery so that the results will be better.0 -
you married him, how did you handle issues when he asked you questions that made you sensitive in the past? handle it the same way.
therapy, a nice talk, beheading....0 -
Thanks All for the support. I am going to begin lifting so we'll see if that helps.0
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He is your husband, he deserves the benefit of the doubt.
If he is otherwise generally sensitive, chalk this up to naïve tactlessness and forgive him.
If he often makes thoughtless comments that hurt your feelings, perhaps you should have a conversation with him about the kinds of things that you are sensitive about, and that come across as rude even if they aren't intended that way. And forgive him.
If he gets defensive about being able to talk that way, that is when I would say there is a problem. But still forgive him. No matter what, holding onto this comment and revisiting it in your head on a loop all day long will hurt you (and your relationship with him) far more in the long run.
Oh - and stop comparing yourself to his ex. He chose you.
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So my husband and I were talking this morning about liposuction and tummy tucks. He proceeded to ask me how I got all that excess skin on my belly. I was so hurt and I cried. I'm trying to be forgiving but it's hard. I weigh 130 now but still need to lose a little more. Surgery is not an option and in comparison to what I've seen, mine isn't really that bad.
You'd think by now men would know better, but it might have been a legitimate question. Your ticker says you've lost 10 lbs and only need to lose 10 more, so that little bit of weight wouldn't normally cause a lot of loose skin. How recently was your child born?0 -
To those who are suggesting lifting weights, how would that help with loose skin? As a woman she's unlikely to build up so much muscle that it stretched the skin back out, especially in her belly.0
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My daughter is 9. I can't blame it on baby weight. I was over 180 at one time and got down to 120. I've always had this lower belly flop.0
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Had he not seen your abdomen before today? Regardless, it's a legit question and it doesn't sound like he asked in a way to purposely hurt you, but I wasn't there.0
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My daughter is 9. I can't blame it on baby weight. I was over 180 at one time and got down to 120. I've always had this lower belly flop.
Was she born via c-section? I'm convinced that my flop will NEVER GO AWAY.
People unthinkingly say insensitive things all the time (which is not exclusive to men). I'd mention that he hurt your feelings to him and try to let it go. If it were me I would have chased him around the house flapping my flop and growling or something.0 -
My daughter is 9. I can't blame it on baby weight. I was over 180 at one time and got down to 120. I've always had this lower belly flop.
If its from weight loss, then time is probably your best bet for getting rid of it. Make sure you stay hydrated and use a good lotion. Hopefully, it will shrink back down.0 -
I'm sorry... maybe I have an incredibly think skin and few body issues... but how exactly does this hurt your feelings? You were talking about things that might bring that topic up...0
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