I got my feelings hurt.

Options
12467

Replies

  • MonikaBori
    MonikaBori Posts: 5 Member
    edited October 2014
    Options
    IF the extra skin is from stretch marks, no amount of lifting weights is going to take care of it. A stretch mark is a place that your body actually MADE more skin because the skin your body had couldn't stretch as far as it needed to. It's frustrating when people assume it can be made to go away by lifting weights. It's there to stay. You can tone the muscle beneath the skin, but you can't lose skin, short of surgery. For me, surgery was not an option either. Not because of finances, but because it's not something that's wrong with me and NEEDS to be changed. Explain it to your husband; He may not have known. I didn't know until my doctor explained it to me when I finally asked out of frustration why I couldn't get rid of my loose tummy no matter how much I worked my abs. Acceptance is the key! Love your body, and just think of the beautiful life that those stretch marks are the result of. :)
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    Options
    _dracarys_ wrote: »
    I feel like there is a lot of information being left out.

    I feel the same way, but I don't think she's going to answer any questions asking for more detail. It would be nice if she did though.
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
    Options
    MonikaBori wrote: »
    IF the extra skin is from stretch marks, no amount of lifting weights is going to take care of it. A stretch mark is a place that your body actually MADE more skin because the skin your body had couldn't stretch as far as it needed to. It's frustrating when people assume it can be made to go away by lifting weights. It's there to stay. You can tone the muscle beneath the skin, but you can't lose skin, short of surgery. For me, surgery was not an option either. Not because of finances, but because it's not something that's wrong with me and NEEDS to be changed. Explain it to your husband; He may not have known. I didn't know until my doctor explained it to me when I finally asked out of frustration why I couldn't get rid of my loose tummy no matter how much I worked my abs. Acceptance is the key! Love your body, and just think of the beautiful life that those stretch marks are the result of. :)

    Uhm, no.

    A stretch mark is where your skin stretched, losing elasticity. Go stretch out a rubber band... it didn't magically make MORE rubber band. It pulled apart under stress and now the elasticity is gone and it will not regain its prior shape.
  • No_Finish_Line
    No_Finish_Line Posts: 3,661 Member
    Options
    mistypile wrote: »
    So my husband and I were talking this morning about liposuction and tummy tucks. He proceeded to ask me how I got all that excess skin on my belly. I was so hurt and I cried. I'm trying to be forgiving but it's hard. I weigh 130 now but still need to lose a little more. Surgery is not an option and in comparison to what I've seen, mine isn't really that bad.

    i guess your assuming that he knew the answer and making you say it was somehow a hurtful act? I guess thats probably a safe assumption.

    On the other hand its not like he said 'how did you get that disgusting skin there...'
  • No_Finish_Line
    No_Finish_Line Posts: 3,661 Member
    Options
    Need2Exerc1se wrote: »
    To those who are suggesting lifting weights, how would that help with loose skin? As a woman she's unlikely to build up so much muscle that it stretched the skin back out, especially in her belly.

    i wouldn't think it would do much for a man either. if some have better luck with lose skin then others, its probably because of genetics, how long the skin was stretched, how old they were when they lost weight, and how long they've had it off.
  • wilsoncl6
    wilsoncl6 Posts: 1,280 Member
    Options
    I don't think we should be bashing this guy, unless he saw the impact the question had on his wife and didn't follow up with an apology for even asking the question. The guy may have been curious and ignorant to the results of what having a child does to a woman's body. It seems to me that he asked the question because the issue was never raised prior. It actually may have not even been an issue for him, just curiosity. From the post it doesn't seem that he made any negative comment about it, just that even bringing it up was a sensitive issue for her. I admit he could have raised the question with a little more tact if he really wanted to know but people don't always put a lot of thought into the things they say before they say them. She should just let him know that the extra skin on her belly is a sensitive topic for her and that any discussion about it raises negative emotions and have an adult conversation with him about it.
  • MistyinTN
    MistyinTN Posts: 78 Member
    Options
    Yes. He and I had the discussion about me wanting to have a tummy tuck. He is supporting me having it done and not so supportive of me not having it done. Does that answer your question?
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    Options
    Is it too soon for gifs?
  • AmandaHugginkiss
    AmandaHugginkiss Posts: 486 Member
    Options
    mistypile wrote: »
    Yes. He and I had the discussion about me wanting to have a tummy tuck. He is supporting me having it done and not so supportive of me not having it done. Does that answer your question?

    In other words, both of you want you to have a tummy tuck, but you're mad at him for wanting what you want. Got it.
  • 50sFit
    50sFit Posts: 712 Member
    edited October 2014
    Options
    mistypile wrote: »
    Yes. He and I had the discussion about me wanting to have a tummy tuck. He is supporting me having it done and not so supportive of me not having it done. Does that answer your question?
    This makes more sense now.
    He might have seemed a bit too eager, but again, cut the guy some slack. If you decide to have this procedure, fine, and if not, your husband will still love you.
    If it were me, I'd go for it!
    Hope you feel better.. <3
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
    Options
    jkal1979 wrote: »
    Is it too soon for gifs?
    I sincerely hope that doesn't mean you're wanting to cause someone who is feeling badly even more pain.

    Do you want to make fun of her and add to her sorrow?

    Please say, "No."
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    Options
    Can your husband read this thread and comment for everyone's benefit? Something definitely isn't correct here.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    edited October 2014
    Options
    Awww dont feel hurt. Men are black and white. If he never had a woman with kids he really didnt know and was asking a genuine question. You're married to him you should be comfortable enough to explain why you have excess skin and that your feelings were hurt. And if he cares enough he will apologize for hurting your feelings.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    Options
    Kalikel wrote: »
    jkal1979 wrote: »
    Is it too soon for gifs?
    I sincerely hope that doesn't mean you're wanting to cause someone who is feeling badly even more pain.

    Do you want to make fun of her and add to her sorrow?

    Please say, "No."

    No, but at the same time I believe that she is overreacting.
  • tracie_minus100
    tracie_minus100 Posts: 465 Member
    Options
    mistypile wrote: »
    Yes. He and I had the discussion about me wanting to have a tummy tuck. He is supporting me having it done and not so supportive of me not having it done. Does that answer your question?

    I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. But has he said he isn't supportive of you not getting a tummy tuck? That's not cool. It's one thing for him to agree with you about it, and support you in doing it...but being unsupportive of you not getting a tummy tuck is a different story.
  • pobalita
    pobalita Posts: 741 Member
    Options
    AmandaHugginkiss wrote: »
    mistypile wrote: »
    Yes. He and I had the discussion about me wanting to have a tummy tuck. He is supporting me having it done and not so supportive of me not having it done. Does that answer your question?

    In other words, both of you want you to have a tummy tuck, but you're mad at him for wanting what you want. Got it.

    this.


    You can always get him back by asking him about shrinkage the next time he steps out of the shower.
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,301 Member
    Options
    pobalita wrote: »
    AmandaHugginkiss wrote: »
    mistypile wrote: »
    Yes. He and I had the discussion about me wanting to have a tummy tuck. He is supporting me having it done and not so supportive of me not having it done. Does that answer your question?

    In other words, both of you want you to have a tummy tuck, but you're mad at him for wanting what you want. Got it.

    this.


    You can always get him back by asking him about shrinkage the next time he steps out of the shower.

    It would help to turn the hot water off first, in theory. I'd never do this though. . .muah ha ha haha hahahahahaha

  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
    Options
    pobalita wrote: »
    AmandaHugginkiss wrote: »
    mistypile wrote: »
    Yes. He and I had the discussion about me wanting to have a tummy tuck. He is supporting me having it done and not so supportive of me not having it done. Does that answer your question?

    In other words, both of you want you to have a tummy tuck, but you're mad at him for wanting what you want. Got it.

    this.


    You can always get him back by asking him about shrinkage the next time he steps out of the shower.
    LOL, I thought the same thing!

    "How did that happen?"..."Huh...my ex never looked that small."

    But that's mean. If the OP did that, she'd just be stooping to his level. Hard to respect yourself when you behave that way. It would be funny, though. :)

Categories