I got my feelings hurt.
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How nice of him to share that with you. Wait...no, it wasn't. It was pretty jerky.Apparently his ex-wife didn't have any problems rebounding after 2 kids.
If your feelings are hurt, you need to tell him to cut that crap out. If he doesn't, remind him that his ex also rebounded after he ceased to be her husband and you could, too.
Geez.
Do not put up with that crap.
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k8blujay2 - I got blindsided by his comment. I had no idea he thought it was that bad.
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I feel like there is a lot of information being left out.0
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I'm sorry... maybe I have an incredibly think skin and few body issues... but how exactly does this hurt your feelings? You were talking about things that might bring that topic up...
I seriously don't see where the horribleness is in this story. I keep re-reading this to try to see the hurt...
I can only imagine this...
"Blah blah blah liposuction... blah blah blah tummy tuck... Hey hun, how come you have a lot of skin on your stomach?"
Was he pointing and laughing at it like kids do? It was a question that had to do with the topic... from your husband... not a stranger asking outta the blue.
I'm still lost. :huh:0 -
k8blujay2 - I got blindsided by his comment. I had no idea he thought it was that bad.
Are you sure he thinks it's that bad? His words of 'how did it get to be so much' do not equate to 'and it looks terrible you huge slob'. (Please don't think *I* think you are a huge slob. I don't at all. I just wonder if you are reading that into his comment because this is an area you are sensitive about)
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That's right Lasmartchika. It wasn't from some random stranger. It was from my husband who knows that I am sensitive when it comes to body issues and should be telling me I'm beautiful no matter what.0
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Men say dumb things sometimes. So do women. I would just tell him it hurt you. He may not even realize. Give him a little leeway before full on man bashing him.0
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TheVirgoddess wrote: »
This.
To me it sounds like you just took at as something that strikes a nerve.
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_dracarys_ wrote: »I feel like there is a lot of information being left out.
Me too...
More words may help here.0 -
So you don't want your own husband to speak the truth? I don't think he said it in a mean way if that's how the conversation went. Do you need things to always be sugar coated? I'd be more offended if it was a comment from a stranger.0
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Case in Point. I am married to the biggest, bearded, mossy oak wearing, *kitten* scratching, tabacco spitting, lifted jeep driving, hunting, fishing, gun shooting, cussing, greasy t-shirt wearing man God has had the nerve of creating. He is also extremely sensitive to my feelings and very complimenting.
But, he did NOT come out of the box like that. There was assembly required. It took time and communication. People don't read minds. You should tell him exactly how it made you feel. No yelling, try not to cry and explain it clearly.
You might be surprised.0 -
Who brought up the subject of lipo and tummy tucks to begin with? Were you talking about getting one? I'm not siding with him, I'm just curious.0
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Well maybe he only meant it with the same emphasis like "where did you get that scar" or "what happened to that fingernail." We girls add all this meaning to a comment that may have simply been a legitimate curiosity. Maybe he likes your stomach that way
It's just a stomach after all. 0 -
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Don't read too much into it, maybe he was genuinely curious. People can be clueless sometimes about things they have little experience with. I do understand why it hurt your feelings, and yes it does hurt.. we want to be perfect in the eyes of the ones we love and our own. Little do we know how little these details matter to them Stay strong. 0
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That's right Lasmartchika. It wasn't from some random stranger. It was from my husband who knows that I am sensitive when it comes to body issues and should be telling me I'm beautiful no matter what.
The part where he said that his ex didn't have problems is a red flag that he was going into the insensitive, no-filter zone. Sorry that you felt bad, but I trust you know your way around a relationship and these things happen. Try not to hold onto it too long!
It sounds like now you are worried of what he thinks of your tummy where you weren't so worried before. So, ask him if it's an issue for him. That kind of question could be scary for both parties, but it's better to air things out sooner than later. If he is a decent man who loves you and is attracted to you no matter your "flaws", you shouldn't have anything to worry about. And I hope that is the man you married!
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I like the way you thinkOriginal_Sinner wrote: »you married him, how did you handle issues when he asked you questions that made you sensitive in the past? handle it the same way.
therapy, a nice talk, beheading....
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wait... you're 130 and need to lose more weight? How tall are you? You said it was excess skin. Excess skin is excess skin, not weight.
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5'4 on a good day0
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Nice man bashing. Don't you mean people suck or are insensitive sometimes? What happened to equality?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure all people are capable of being insensitive. Not like women are ever rude or inconsiderate toward men or each other. It's just men. And they leave the toilet seat up. And they stink, are stupid, watch football, eat, sleep and crap.
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I agree that there is information being left out. That or possibly OP might just be a little to sensitive. I re-read the post and it doesn't say if he was being malicious or not. Extra skin is going to happen. Either get it removed, hope that it tightens up, or live with it and move on.
I think the bigger issue is that you can't seem to communicate your feelings to him. He's not going to know he upset you unless you talk about it like an adult.0 -
Women are sometimes rude and inconsiderate but in this situation it involved a man.0
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I'm so confused as to why this bothers you so much.
Maybe your feelings being hurt weren't by him, but more about the insecurities you have with yourself.0 -
How long have you been married? Your kids are from a previous marriage, so you had it when he married you. It can't really bother him that much if he was willing to marry you with loose skin. And I bet if I asked you to think about his flaws, you'd have no trouble thinking of a couple of them immediately. It's life. Nobody's perfect.0
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^^^^^^sonjabowler wrote: »Don't you worry about that sweety, a little work in the gym and it'll tighten up after putting in the work. A little insensitive of him--but hey, men suck sometimes!
(*) YEP! (*)
And it sounds like you guys were talking about it, and he was just being honest.
Unless he was being mean, cut the guy some slack.
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I think you're right.0
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