Relationship Weight Gain
laurenward1990
Posts: 82 Member
Everyone can relate i'm sure...
Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.
When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.
It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?
Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.
When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.
It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?
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Replies
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Don't make excuses, find solutions. If you know you are likely to eat out and consume a lot of calories together, fast beforehand so you have room in your calorie/macro goals.
You can also just exercise more to compensate for your increased intake or consume fewer calories one day to make up for another. You don't need to be at your TDEE every single day as long as your average consumption over time is in line.0 -
Plan your life around you, not him. Get back on your routine.0
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noexcusesjustresults2014 wrote: »If you know you are likely to eat out and consume a lot of calories together, fast beforehand so you have room in your calorie/macro goals.
I've heard so many different things about "starvation mode" or how skipping breakfast stops your metabolism functioning at it's best. Are these things even proven? Is fasting beneficial or will it cause problems with metabolism?
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laurenward1990 wrote: »noexcusesjustresults2014 wrote: »If you know you are likely to eat out and consume a lot of calories together, fast beforehand so you have room in your calorie/macro goals.
I've heard so many different things about "starvation mode" or how skipping breakfast stops your metabolism functioning at it's best. Are these things even proven? Is fasting beneficial or will it cause problems with metabolism?
They are proven to be false. There is no reason you have to eat breakfast. It's all about total calories. So if you don't want to eat breakfast you don't have to.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/873411
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/820577-meal-frequency-rev-up-that-furnace-lol0 -
I have had the exact same problem. Gained weight when we were together, lost it when we broke up last winter, gained it all again as soon as we were back together. My current strategy is:
(1) keeping bags of frozen veggies (which have barely any calories and loads of nutrients) in the freezer and microwaving them quickly to replace some of the takeaway meal to fill me up.
(2) Keeping low calorie ready meals and other easy frozen food in the freezer - obvs not a good everyday choice but good in a pinch
(3) Cooking massive meals when we have time so there's enough for two nights, but separating out the portions before eating to stop us from eating it all in one go!
I'm in a slightly better position though because I've managed to get him into logging on MFP too :P You could try that one!0 -
Starvation mode doesn't exist. Looking at your picture, I wouldn't worry about it overly much, but if it does become an issue, you're the only one that can decide what you're eating.0
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"We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in."
I'm confused, why can't you just prepare dinner when he works late? You get your healthy meal and he gets to eat when he gets home.0 -
When I moved in with my now-husband, I gained. I was hungry when I got home from work, so I'd snack, and then we'd eat dinner together. Plus, we were happy and loving being together, so lots of cheese and wine.
But, ultimately, it was up to me to not snack [eta: on high calorie foods, and choose fruits and veggies instead], to make goals, and order lower-calorie meals, and just plan better overall. Since I started MFP in January, he has been very supportive, even calculating calories of dishes that he prepares.
tl;dr You make the decision for you and decide your own priorities.0 -
I had this problem starting when I moved to go live with my boyfriend again. I weighed 220 pounds in PA then I moved to FL to be with him again and thats when the weight started to pile on (I'm 269 now). Thankfully he noticed his weight gain about a year ago and got insanely fit and healthy using MFP. Sadly I at the time just couldnt get on board- it felt like another diet and I was depressed. (I sure wish now I saw MFP and this way of life like I do now!)
So with some tweaking and some relationship TLC we have both switched over this time around because he knows I need it for my health. Plus thankfully he wants to get back in shape too.
I bet you're thinking..Well how does this even help me? What's this crazy lady talking about? Sit him down and talk to him- be honest. Tell him your plan and maybe even get him to join MFP also! Why do this alone when you can have the person you love at your back at all times. Sometimes your loved one can be the best support you have
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PollyPhoenix wrote: »I'm in a slightly better position though because I've managed to get him into logging on MFP too :P You could try that one!
Thanks, really good ideas. Hahaha he doesn't need to log in MFP, he's the perfect weight! he's on his feet all day though :P
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I'm confused, why can't you just prepare dinner when he works late? You get your healthy meal and he gets to eat when he gets home.
We don't live together, so often im waiting around to find out when he is going to get home, I usually stay at his place, so i'll be at mine waiting for him (I currently don't have a key to his place).
You could tell me to eat and let him sort his own dinner out, but I don't like to do that when he has been at work for 12+ hours...
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sighhh I can relate, very easy to maintain when I was single, not blaming him, its just when I lived alone there was nothing but healthy foods and snacks laying around, we now have a CHIP DRAWER! and he buys peanut butter, im a sucker for peanut butter, anyways here I am again with 40 to lose, so hard.....0
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You don't have to eat everything on your plate when you eat out. Just eat less of whatever it is you're eating.0
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laurenward1990 wrote: »I'm confused, why can't you just prepare dinner when he works late? You get your healthy meal and he gets to eat when he gets home.
We don't live together, so often im waiting around to find out when he is going to get home, I usually stay at his place, so i'll be at mine waiting for him (I currently don't have a key to his place).
You could tell me to eat and let him sort his own dinner out, but I don't like to do that when he has been at work for 12+ hours...
So make dinner at your place and bring it to his. You are making this way more complicated then it needs to be.0 -
I would say just watch your snacking and if you do have to go out check out where you might be going online first so you can find a healthy option that will work for you. I find I work out in the wee hours of the morning and that works well for me before the kiddos get up, so just find a time that works for you. I hope this helps.0
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If eating out is your lifestyle, learn to deal with it. Restaurants tend to serve meals with far more calories than anyone needs because gluttons are their best customers. Learn to leave about half of what they bring you on the plate. If you have trouble with that, ask for a to-go box before you start eating, move half of the meal into the box and close it up so it is out of sight. Then leave the to-go box behind.0
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I can emphasise! Just moved in with my boyfriend and he is forever bringing cakes and junk food home. I'm having to try learn willpower all over again!0
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I think this is actually very common. I've seen it happen to myself, family and friends. My boyfriend lives quite far away so we get to see each other every other weekend so when we visit each other we like to go out to restaurants, but recently we've realised we need to tone that down a bit for the sake of our waistlines and wallets!
Cooking can be quick and easy and with some advance prep doesn't take long at all. It wouldn't be hard to prepare something healthy then cook it for both of you for when he gets in. Just watch the portion sizes because you might not need as much food as him. Cook the same healthy low calorie meals you did but for two, bulking up his plate with larger portions or extras if he wants. It's just a case of planning ahead with shopping etc.
In relation to snacking, just make sure you have some healthy things around the house like fruit, chopped veggies or little tubs or bags of ready measured out small nibbles (My fave atm is 10g dried cranberries with 15g almonds). I find a small serving of low fat natural yogurt to be really filling.
When you do go out, just choose wisely. Or ideally, eat out less so that it's a treat as opposed to an every day thing and choose you want when you actually get to.0 -
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laurenward1990 wrote: »
Oh yet another wanting advice but as long as they agree with it....
What else do you want then? Just get tough stop eating food. Otherwise, continue dithering about and remain in the same situation.-2 -
what i do for eating out is go on the restaurants website for calories before we go to plan better. sometimes u can only eat half a burger and get broccoli instead of fries or just eat a couple fries or like others say dont eat but i find when i dont eat then i end up binging bc i cant stop bc i waited too long. message me if u need to talk it is difficult trying to lose when someone else is around, it takes lots of strength.0
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On days that you're at home and waiting for him, could you cook meals for two in your place and then bring it over? And if you do go out to eat, if you don't have much willpower to not overeat, perhaps fill up on vegetables beforehand, or eat less during the day, if a calorie deficit is all you're concerned with.0
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laurenward1990 wrote: »I'm confused, why can't you just prepare dinner when he works late? You get your healthy meal and he gets to eat when he gets home.
We don't live together, so often im waiting around to find out when he is going to get home, I usually stay at his place, so i'll be at mine waiting for him (I currently don't have a key to his place).
You could tell me to eat and let him sort his own dinner out, but I don't like to do that when he has been at work for 12+ hours...
So make dinner at your place and bring it to his. You are making this way more complicated then it needs to be.
Better yet, why are you just waiting around for him to show up? Stick to your own routine and, when you can see each other, do it. If you are close enough to have to go grocery shopping together, why don't you have a key?0 -
ithrowconfetti wrote: »On days that you're at home and waiting for him, could you cook meals for two in your place and then bring it over?
I could do that yeah, I guess the only trouble is when I don't know if i'm for sure seeing him that night, but I suppose I could cook for the both of us and use the leftovers for the next night if he gets home too late or I don't end up going to his place.
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laurenward1990 wrote: »ithrowconfetti wrote: »On days that you're at home and waiting for him, could you cook meals for two in your place and then bring it over?
I could do that yeah, I guess the only trouble is when I don't know if i'm for sure seeing him that night, but I suppose I could cook for the both of us and use the leftovers for the next night if he gets home too late or I don't end up going to his place.
Ok, so I've been there, done that. It's not fair for him to force you to live in his world.
If it's dinner time and you don't know if you are going to be seeing him or not, then make your own plans. It's rude for him to not let you know - and don't tell me that he doesn't know when work will end. That's B.S.
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I eat out a lot and I am still losing weight. YOU have to decide that you want a healthier lifestyle and YOU have to make better choices. You can eat out but still eat healthy. The best advice I can give you is that if you really want to be healthy and lose weight, you will find a way not an excuse. It all starts with you. Good luck!0
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laurenward1990 wrote: »Everyone can relate i'm sure...
Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.
When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.
It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?
Sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship until you fix yourself.
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laurenward1990 wrote: »ithrowconfetti wrote: »On days that you're at home and waiting for him, could you cook meals for two in your place and then bring it over?
I could do that yeah, I guess the only trouble is when I don't know if i'm for sure seeing him that night, but I suppose I could cook for the both of us and use the leftovers for the next night if he gets home too late or I don't end up going to his place.
Ok, so I've been there, done that. It's not fair for him to force you to live in his world.
If it's dinner time and you don't know if you are going to be seeing him or not, then make your own plans. It's rude for him to not let you know - and don't tell me that he doesn't know when work will end. That's B.S.
Yeah thats true! I guess I just always feel bad when he calls and I tell him i've already eaten. I'll have a chat with him and explain 0 -
laurenward1990 wrote: »Sevendust912 wrote: »Sounds like OP is looking for a pity party.
No, I'm looking for informed and helpful advice, not some uninformed, rude, ignorant idiots telling me to "get fat" and to grow up.
You don't have to be a child to have issues with food.
It doesn't even sound like you have an issue with food. It sounds like you and your BF work different schedules. Just eat your own meals and let him do the same. Or don't and get the same result you are talking about now.0
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