What Other People Think and Say... Why do you care?

Speaking to the reference of abuse in the above post....

I've been in a very abusive relationship.. Yes men CAN and ARE abused by women as well.... and I will say that you cant always see that you're letting someone control you... because you feel that its your place to forgive someone you love when they are having moments of stress and breakdown... HOWEVER, looking from the outside in... It is absolutely a ploy to control you and maintain power in the relationship... the love is just the vessel used to get into the others mind

GorillaEsquire wrote: »

My original use of the term "care" very specifically referenced a need of validation from others. As in, why do we as individuals seek the approval, validation and affirmation of anyone, least of all strangers.

It wasn't a condemnation. It was a discussion point.

I think people care what others think of them out of a fear of loneliness, or at least that may be the case for me and people like me anyway. People want to belong and be welcomed or fit in somewhere. When there is a possibility that you don't fit in or are not wanted, then that can be terrifying.

You are obviously a "beast" physically as you put it, and also well spoken, so I am sure you have no problems with people liking you. You have a wife and 4 kids, the facts that your profile states. If you were to encounter a situation in which people may not agree with you or who would not accept you, you can say it doesn't matter because you have your own world to retreat to. You can always go home to your wife and 4 kids and not worry about it. You have that established. I am sure you have friends and other people in your life as well. You have that and do not need to fit in anywhere else, or at least not worry about it anyway.

Imagine taking all that away and facing the possibility that you have an empty house to go home to every night where it is just you. You have no friends or social networks to fall back on. It is scary in that situation, especially when you desire to interact with people on more than just an acquaintance level. The need to have that core group, or your own family can make it so that you worry about what others think out of the fear of rejection and not being able to establish connections. The prospect of coming home from work every night to that dark empty house can be frightening.

As is the case for me at 34 and 400+ lbs. I am not proud of what I am. I don't put blame on anyone or anything other than myself. I am responsible for me. At the same time, though, I am not a particularly strong person mentally at where I am at. I worry about what others think because I am alone and the fear of being alone is real. I have no family of my own to go home to and say I don't care what the world says about me. I am stared at by strangers and given looks of disgust by women. I occasionally catch people laughing or even saying some nasty things. I know these people are not worth my time, but it still contributes to this mindset especially when I follow these experiences up with going home to an empty, dark, quiet house yet again.

So I think an answer to your question is that for some people, they care what others think and say out of fear of rejection or loneliness.

I don't give a crap what anyone says about me, I've heard it all. I haters.

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GorillaEsquire wrote: »

He was drawing a blank.
Boom.

lol, idk, it kept repeating a post.

BV1980 wrote: »

GorillaEsquire wrote: »

My original use of the term "care" very specifically referenced a need of validation from others. As in, why do we as individuals seek the approval, validation and affirmation of anyone, least of all strangers.

It wasn't a condemnation. It was a discussion point.

I think people care what others think of them out of a fear of loneliness, or at least that may be the case for me and people like me anyway. People want to belong and be welcomed or fit in somewhere. When there is a possibility that you don't fit in or are not wanted, then that can be terrifying.

You are obviously a "beast" physically as you put it, and also well spoken, so I am sure you have no problems with people liking you. You have a wife and 4 kids, the facts that your profile states. If you were to encounter a situation in which people may not agree with you or who would not accept you, you can say it doesn't matter because you have your own world to retreat to. You can always go home to your wife and 4 kids and not worry about it. You have that established. I am sure you have friends and other people in your life as well. You have that and do not need to fit in anywhere else, or at least not worry about it anyway.

Imagine taking all that away and facing the possibility that you have an empty house to go home to every night where it is just you. You have no friends or social networks to fall back on. It is scary in that situation, especially when you desire to interact with people on more than just an acquaintance level. The need to have that core group, or your own family can make it so that you worry about what others think out of the fear of rejection and not being able to establish connections. The prospect of coming home from work every night to that dark empty house can be frightening.

As is the case for me at 34 and 400+ lbs. I am not proud of what I am. I don't put blame on anyone or anything other than myself. I am responsible for me. At the same time, though, I am not a particularly strong person mentally at where I am at. I worry about what others think because I am alone and the fear of being alone is real. I have no family of my own to go home to and say I don't care what the world says about me. I am stared at by strangers and given looks of disgust by women. I occasionally catch people laughing or even saying some nasty things. I know these people are not worth my time, but it still contributes to this mindset especially when I follow these experiences up with going home to an empty, dark, quiet house yet again.

So I think an answer to your question is that for some people, they care what others think and say out of fear of rejection or loneliness.

:flowerforyou:

GorillaEsquire wrote: »

OdesAngel wrote: »

Listen here, Pitbull, your threads are lame. Dale!

I can't tell if this is an insult or not.

Well, the cool thing about your stance of not caring what other's think is you don't have to know if it was an insult or not. You can just brush it off regardless.