Sex?
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Well I don't exactly get any anymore cause i'm single, but I lost most of my weight when I had a boyfriend, and I went from pretty much hiding in the darkness to wanting to get on top
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fat2fit4good wrote: »my arm doesn't get as tired as before...fat2fit4good wrote: »my arm doesn't get as tired as before...fat2fit4good wrote: »my arm doesn't get as tired as before...
Just choked on my brew lmao
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I am 34 years old and have been fat my whole life. I have been 400+ lbs (452 lbs being the highest) for quite a while now. So, I have never been able to be successful with getting a girlfriend or having a sex life. My body is ruined because my flaw in my life has been overeating. Even if I lose the weight, I will be a mess of skin and not what girls want, so I doubt losing weight will improve, or I should say create, a sex life for me. Since it is something I want very badly, I may have to live with this unfulfilled desire, pay for it (which wouldn't be what I want and I would still be unfulfilled), or distract myself constantly with work or hobbies or whatever. I don't think distraction would work though since sex is everywhere and you cannot escape it. It is a constant reminder of my desire and what I cannot experience. So I think I may have to just cope with the lack of it or eventually just not exist anymore so it isn't an issue.
I think you are wrong, i wouldnt be put of by a mans size, or face, now if he is an Ahole, cheater, liar or woman beater... those are the things i would not be interested in.
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I got laid more often before I lost weight.0
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pinkiezoom wrote: »fat2fit4good wrote: »my arm doesn't get as tired as before...fat2fit4good wrote: »my arm doesn't get as tired as before...fat2fit4good wrote: »my arm doesn't get as tired as before...
Just choked on my brew lmao
Is "choke" really a good choice of words here??? come on... dunt rub it in!
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My stamina and strength have increased. Unfortunately I never get to put them to use for sex, lol.0
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GalaxyBird wrote: »For those of you who have lost significant amounts of weight, I am wondering how it has affected your sex life, especially the act of having sex. I am just curious to see what has gotten better, worse, or changed.
Seriously now, the OP's post was flagged 3 times for abuse. Why? What is this site now 90 year old women or 10 year old kids? We aren't allowed to discuss sex in a non crude manner. People need to stop being so damn offended by everyone. It's the internet. If topics like this are going to bother you then go lock yourself in a closet. People need to stop being such sad souls.
OP, yes it did get better in our situation. Maybe those people who flagged your post because no one loves them enough to share that with them.
So the flag means that someone is saying that her post is abusive?0 -
fat2fit4good wrote: »my arm doesn't get as tired as before...
Just choked on my brew lmao
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Is "choke" really a good choice of words here??? come on... dunt rub it in!
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Ooops sorry 0 -
cincysweetheart wrote: »Really? An overweight girl can still go out? Can still get laid? Whatever! Where the hell are these guys who think big is beautiful? Because I sure haven't met them. I've heard all that stuff, but never seen it in action. The guys want the thin pretty girls. Especially when you're young.The only curves they seem to want are the ones that come with big breasts.
No, sorry. An overweight female has it just as hard as an overweight male… if not worse. It's more socially acceptable for men to be overweight than it is for a woman.
Maybe so. I think is a overweight female you can still have a more normal life though. You can still go out. Still get laid. Still gain life experience the same ways other people do. As a chubby girl you're not even going to get the same advice a guy would get. "Just wait on that special guy to notice you one day," said no one ever. It's all "Big is beautiful! Show of those curves! Etc." Why? Because big girls know they can still get men. Chances are most big girls don't even want a big guy.fat2fit4good wrote: »
This. This. This. This.
This is so true. I was thin until I got to college and developed PCOS, being the chubby girl with all skinny, athletic friends SUCKED. Even if I did get attention from guys, I still felt ashamed of myself. I felt shy and embarrassed being with those girls, and then they drive you nuts trying to pull you out on the dance floor of a bar/club when all you want to do is sit in the shadows so no one sees how fat you are. Being fat sucks, no matter what gender you are. Once I got out of college and moved away and was lonely, I started coming around to the fact that if I don't put myself out there, I'm not going to get anyone anyway, so what's the harm? Several years later, I have been told that I am the best sex SEVERAL people have had (and I really don't say that to be lewd, gross, or slutty). I have a boyfriend now who is thin and tall, and the sex is amazing. And he makes me feel amazing, even though I don;'t feel amazing about myself.
But seriously, would I have had a chance with guys and gotten my current boyfriend if I didn't at least try? You can't sit around and just hope someone swoops in and saves you.
And as for bigger dudes, some of THE coolest, most funny, awesome dudes I know are big guys. And if I weren't with my current bf, I'd pursue them. Honest.0 -
None since 2012 so it hasn't affected mine in the slightest!!!!!0
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Love the calculator!!
My drive has always been high. However, the more comfortable I am with my body..the more I enjoy sex. My boyfriend seems to have an increased attraction to me when I'm more fit, as well.0 -
Yes please.
wait. what was the question?0 -
tracyannk28 wrote: »
How YOU doin?0 -
Getting laid on the regular now.. And it's great, endurance & sex drive through the roof. Leave em shaking in the sheets... 0
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jasonmh630 wrote: »
+4. So long. So freaking long.0 -
Yeahhhh ok. Go survey college age girls. Do they want a guy with a 6 pack, or at least a flat stomach, or a guy that weighs 300lbs. Ladies? Want to chime in on this one?
Maybe so. I think is a overweight female you can still have a more normal life though. You can still go out. Still get laid. Still gain life experience the same ways other people do. As a chubby girl you're not even going to get the same advice a guy would get. "Just wait on that special guy to notice you one day," said no one ever. It's all "Big is beautiful! Show of those curves! Etc." Why? Because big girls know they can still get men. Chances are most big girls don't even want a big guy.fat2fit4good wrote: »
Not necessarily true, it all depends on your personality and how you approach life. I've seen some big guys (not muscular but fat) get some serious play from some hot women all because of their personalities. It is no wonder you haven't had much luck with women if you're personality is as much a downer as your advice. Women pick up on that and no woman wants to be around a guy steeped in depression, guilt and self-loathing. You got to learn to love yourself first before someone else can join in.
I'm assuming your attitude towards women is what's preventing you from getting dates and not your physique.
Some people are shallow some are not. You can't lump everyone together.
I dated a 285 lb man for 4.5 years. I was between 112 & 125 lbs at the time. We broke up because he was an emotionally abusive jerk towards the end of the relationship, not because he was overweight.
I, personally, want a man who has intellect, a sense of humor, some shared interests, and is able to mesh well with my personality. I don't care if you look like Adam Levine or Peter Griffin..0 -
It has always been good, but now it's even better because I have more confidence.
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sex drive has increased significantly.....every day at least twice if I could...:)0
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blktngldhrt wrote: »
Yeahhhh ok. Go survey college age girls. Do they want a guy with a 6 pack, or at least a flat stomach, or a guy that weighs 300lbs. Ladies? Want to chime in on this one?
Maybe so. I think is a overweight female you can still have a more normal life though. You can still go out. Still get laid. Still gain life experience the same ways other people do. As a chubby girl you're not even going to get the same advice a guy would get. "Just wait on that special guy to notice you one day," said no one ever. It's all "Big is beautiful! Show of those curves! Etc." Why? Because big girls know they can still get men. Chances are most big girls don't even want a big guy.fat2fit4good wrote: »
Not necessarily true, it all depends on your personality and how you approach life. I've seen some big guys (not muscular but fat) get some serious play from some hot women all because of their personalities. It is no wonder you haven't had much luck with women if you're personality is as much a downer as your advice. Women pick up on that and no woman wants to be around a guy steeped in depression, guilt and self-loathing. You got to learn to love yourself first before someone else can join in.
I'm assuming your attitude towards women is what's preventing you from getting dates and not your physique.
Exactly. All things being equal, would I prefer a partner who's physically attractive? I guess, though overall I'd prefer a partner who's about as attractive as myself, or at best a tiny bit better looking. But would I pick an arrogant jerk with a 6-pack over a 300 lb guy who's my best friend, who's fun, who makes me feel great about myself, and who I think would make a great dad and life partner? Um, no.
If you treat women as people first rather than conquests or potential hookups, you'll build relationships that are the start of something more.
You're right that the less conventionally physically attractive you are, the harder it is to get a date, and especially casual sex. However, that holds for others as well: less attractive women are in the same boat as you. Most men focus only on the top 10% of women by looks. Try looking for women you think you have something in common with, and who are about as physically attractive as you.
You mentioned college age women. 20 year old women within a normal weight range are the most desireable women in the world. It's ridiculous to set that as your standard. However, older women (visibly over 40) in particular get ignored by men (as well as overweight women of course) and may be more receptive to conversation, dating, or yes, even casual sex. Internet dating is fantastic for people without conventional beauty.0 -
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I didn't say every women. This is a general statement about females as a whole, supported by scientific data, not about your preferences.[/quote]
Based on what research?[/quote]
Varies scientific studies that I don't have access too but are referenced in almost any article talking about the subject.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2402851/A-womans-beauty-really-IS-important-thing-man--women-social-status.html
References a study that shows that men are more apt to choose long term partners based on physical attractiveness than women that choose based on social status.
http://static.squarespace.com/static/504114b1e4b0b97fe5a520af/t/5365a93be4b0d9a600e04147/1399171387042/Meltzer2014JPSP.pdf
Study shows that men are happier over the long term if they have what they consider a physical attractive mate while women are neutral on happiness related to physical attractiveness.
http://www.psyarticles.com/inter-personal/attraction.htm
Refers to two studies that show that from an evolutionary standpoint, men are more apt to choose a suitable mate based on physical attraction while women focused on men that presented themselves as more affluent than their peers.
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blktngldhrt wrote: »
I'm assuming your attitude towards women is what's preventing you from getting dates and not your physique.
Exactly. All things being equal, would I prefer a partner who's physically attractive? I guess, though overall I'd prefer a partner who's about as attractive as myself, or at best a tiny bit better looking. But would I pick an arrogant jerk with a 6-pack over a 300 lb guy who's my best friend, who's fun, who makes me feel great about myself, and who I think would make a great dad and life partner? Um, no.
If you treat women as people first rather than conquests or potential hookups, you'll build relationships that are the start of something more.
You're right that the less conventionally physically attractive you are, the harder it is to get a date, and especially casual sex. However, that holds for others as well: less attractive women are in the same boat as you. Most men focus only on the top 10% of women by looks. Try looking for women you think you have something in common with, and who are about as physically attractive as you.
You mentioned college age women. 20 year old women within a normal weight range are the most desireable women in the world. It's ridiculous to set that as your standard. However, older women (visibly over 40) in particular get ignored by men (as well as overweight women of course) and may be more receptive to conversation, dating, or yes, even casual sex. Internet dating is fantastic for people without conventional beauty.
I like the sentiment, but I have to disagree a little on the bolded part. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and whatnot... and often people have distorted views of their own attractiveness. So "look for someone that is as attractive as you" is poor advice that plays to insecurities. Just look for someone who is attractive to you and also attracted to you (obviously). Perhaps that might end up with people with similar attractiveness by some subjective scale, but it doesn't have to.
I'm with all the other ladies that say they've met men with great personalities, and that weight doesn't much factor into it as far as whether or not you'll be attracted. In my experience, it is the men that more often discriminate against large women (I've even had a relative who is in his 30's state outright, in front of three other women and his wife, that fat women were disgusting and he'd never marry one; one of the women has struggled with her weight and I really wanted to punch him in the face). I've heard far far more men comment on women's weight and how they want skinny women rather than visa versa. I've had friends who've been brought to tears over boyfriends calling them fat, telling them to lose weight because they're unattractive, and women that will "get laid" but be insulted by the man afterwards and made to feel like crap (because, you know, men "will screw anything" and that has no bearing on their reputation, only the woman, who is lumped into the category of "anything"). And of course there are shallow men and shallow women, and people that aren't so shallow. But to say "women have it better" is just laughable.
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Basilin, I tend to agree with you on the fact that more men discriminate against larger women than women do against larger men. For a guy that is dating, an attractive women can be a sign of social status and many guys won't date a larger women because of the stigma that comes with it. When I was single, I didn't discriminate. I've dated some women that were hot but didn't last because they had horrible personalities and dated women that were larger, even obese because they had amazing personalities and were fun to be around. I had a friend ask me why I was with a girl that was 5'4 200 lbs once when he'd seen me with what he thought was much better looking women. I told him because she may look like twice his weight, she was twenty times the person he would ever be. This bothered me because I was teased until I hit puberty because I was super skinny and then teased after gaining weight for being too fat. You'll never make everyone happy but it's a guarantee that there is at least one person out there that you will.0
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Basilin, I tend to agree with you on the fact that more men discriminate against larger women than women do against larger men. For a guy that is dating, an attractive women can be a sign of social status and many guys won't date a larger women because of the stigma that comes with it. When I was single, I didn't discriminate. I've dated some women that were hot but didn't last because they had horrible personalities and dated women that were larger, even obese because they had amazing personalities and were fun to be around. I had a friend ask me why I was with a girl that was 5'4 200 lbs once when he'd seen me with what he thought was much better looking women. I told him because she may look like twice his weight, she was twenty times the person he would ever be. This bothered me because I was teased until I hit puberty because I was super skinny and then teased after gaining weight for being too fat. You'll never make everyone happy but it's a guarantee that there is at least one person out there that you will.
Awesome.
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There's less of it, but that's not because of the weight loss. I started going to college and my husband started a very physical job. He is so worn out and tired and pretty much wakes up just to go back to work again. The only time he has the stamina to participate is on the weekends. But he does do a lot of other things that let me know he's liking the progress, like smacking my behind constantly and obviously checking me out all the time. I don't think time we do spend together is any better or worse though. It's always been amazing, lol. 0
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Yeahhhh ok. Go survey college age girls. Do they want a guy with a 6 pack, or at least a flat stomach, or a guy that weighs 300lbs. Ladies? Want to chime in on this one?
Maybe so. I think is a overweight female you can still have a more normal life though. You can still go out. Still get laid. Still gain life experience the same ways other people do. As a chubby girl you're not even going to get the same advice a guy would get. "Just wait on that special guy to notice you one day," said no one ever. It's all "Big is beautiful! Show of those curves! Etc." Why? Because big girls know they can still get men. Chances are most big girls don't even want a big guy.fat2fit4good wrote: »
Not necessarily true, it all depends on your personality and how you approach life. I've seen some big guys (not muscular but fat) get some serious play from some hot women all because of their personalities. It is no wonder you haven't had much luck with women if you're personality is as much a downer as your advice. Women pick up on that and no woman wants to be around a guy steeped in depression, guilt and self-loathing. You got to learn to love yourself first before someone else can join in.
My boyfriend is overweight. A decent amount, he weighs over twice what I do. Dude gets hit on ALL THE TIME. It's kind of irritating, actually.
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Well the sex was always great, but I think feeling better about myself and how I look naked makes it better. Lingerie is certainly more fun to wear!!0
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fat2fit4good wrote: »my arm doesn't get as tired as before...
Burning calories laughing my butt off with that comment!0 -
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