I'm 19 and have never had a boyfriend :(

FaithfulJewel wrote: »

You won't be happy with someone else until you can be happy with yourself.

And once you're happy with yourself, you will gain confidence and that will open up doors in your life, be it love, career or other things.

Don't panic, life isn't a race.

This! Absolutely this! Being a guy myself, we LOVE women who are self confident and know what and who they are and don't apologize for it. Being happy with yourself is the most attractive quality in a woman (to me, at least lol). Just focus on you and once you're happy with yourself, your prince will come into your life. Probably when you AREN'T looking. That's how this thing called love works alot of the time.

Hold your head up and worry about YOU right now.

Honestly, the guy I was dating between the years of 17 and 20 was a jerk and a total waste of time. don't sweat it if you're single now. I'm still recovering from some of the emotional damage from that relationship. Although, as far as online dating, I had some really good luck with dates from OK Cupid. the personality questions actually are pretty good, and I made a few really great friends as well. Only a couple jerks. All three of the guys I met in person from that site were awesome and super nice. I just wasn't ready for a relationship. plus, I think it is easier to do things the old fashioned way. It's hard to really know a person from typed words.

FaithfulJewel wrote: »

You won't be happy with someone else until you can be happy with yourself.

And once you're happy with yourself, you will gain confidence and that will open up doors in your life, be it love, career or other things.

Don't panic, life isn't a race.

THAT

And I didn't have my first boyfriend or first kiss until I was 21. And it wasn't that great. I should have waited longer!

Hockey_Winger wrote: »

FaithfulJewel wrote: »

You won't be happy with someone else until you can be happy with yourself.

And once you're happy with yourself, you will gain confidence and that will open up doors in your life, be it love, career or other things.

Don't panic, life isn't a race.

Because this hasn't been quoted enough already.

Someone here had a quote on their profile that read:
Don't be a woman that needs a man
Be a woman a man needs


First time I saw that I though, 'oh, I like her"

I see what you're saying, but I've never been fond of that quote... It's like it's saying that a man needs a woman, but a woman is weak for needing a man. In a good healthy relationship, both parties need each other. I may be completely misinterpreting that, but that's what I gather from it.

jasonmh630 wrote: »

It's like it's saying that a man needs a woman, but a woman is weak for needing a man.
In a good healthy relationship, both parties need each other. I may be completely misinterpreting that, but that's what I gather from it.

I can see how it could be read that way, but I don't see it that way. I also just ended a relationship that was as long as the OP has been alive so my view is tilted a bit.

I know it's an important thing, but really - don't be in a hurry. Everybody always says "Love will find you" and it does. It might not be on the schedule YOU'd like it to be on....LOL...but it will. I remember not really having a boyfriend until my mid-20's. I was lucky if the relationship would last 6 weeks before they'd get on my nerves or something just wasn't "right" with it. Then I went to my uncle's wedding in May 1991. When my family doctor asked when we were going to have one of "these" (wedding's) for me, I replied that I had sworn off men - they were all evil.

In case you didn't know, God likes to play with me. July 5th, 1991 I was a bridesmaid in a wedding, and have been married to the best man in the wedding for 20 years this year.

I had lost 20 pounds for that wedding and was feeling pretty good about myself. I was trying to "impress" another groomsman, and was blowing him off (can of worms), and in the processes of exuding confidence, I ended up landing the best man! LOL

Just focus on you and being the best you you can be.

In high school, I was a bit boy crazy and in love with the idea of love (and probably enjoyed the drama at the time) and had a bunch of boyfriends but no real relationship. Then from age 18 to 23, I was single, mostly by choice, as I wanted to concentrate on college and starting a career and being young and having fun. Then something just switched...I felt like I was ready. And weirdly enough, it was like it showed somehow (as others have mentioned, I probably showed more confidence). I was getting hit on more often and shortly after that, I met my now husband. I'm not saying it'll happen that way for you but, as corny and cliche as it sounds, I do believe that when you're truly ready, it will happen. But I also believe you have to do something about it - the guys aren't just going to show up at your door!

Instead of, or in addition to, online dating, maybe try meeting guys other ways? I believe you will make friends and meet guys in college but you may want to do other things like volunteer, join clubs/groups or particpate in local events. Check out the MeetUP website for events in your area.

FaithfulJewel wrote: »

You won't be happy with someone else until you can be happy with yourself.

And once you're happy with yourself, you will gain confidence and that will open up doors in your life, be it love, career or other things.

Don't panic, life isn't a race.

+1
Take it from a gal who has had quite a few boyfriends and hasn't been single in sometime. Relationships don't fix your problems. When it's time you'll meet the right person, but ENJOY being single as strange as that sounds there is peace in being happy by yourself, something I really wish I would've done.

I dated a guy for a year and a half in high school and he wouldn't even kiss me. When I said "I love you" he said "I don't" and I STILL dated him for six months after that. Self confidence is a hard thing to learn. I'm still struggling with it with my current boyfriend of one year.

My first real girlfriend was at 22, 4 kids and 12 years of marriage later I'm glad I don't have a bunch of exes to block on social media

Well you can take an active approach or just be passive and go with the flow. Active: strike up conversations with the people in your classes when you start again, try to make some friends, maybe join a club, and hope for the best. Passive: just put this whole issue on the backburner and let it happen when it happens.

All of my relationships happened when I wasn't looking to date and didn't really care about it.

jazzy_45 wrote: »

Hey everyone I need some advice. I am 19 and like I said before I've never had a boyfriend. Never, . I've tried online dating (POF and tinder) but the guys there just want to hookup and I don't want just that. I graduated high school in June and right now I am taking the semester off. I work at Kohls, so I don't really meet guys there. Next semester I'm gonna start community college, but it's hard to meet people because I live in the suburbs and everyone just wants to go home after class.
I am a bit overweight still, but I think I carry it well and I have a pretty face and a nice personality, so it's not like I'm hideous or anything. I'm honestly depressed over this. I'm just so lonely and I just want someone to watch movies and cuddle by the fire with...is that really too much to ask for?:( How can I find someone like that? I feel like I'm foreveralone...does anyone else feel this way too?

Alright - here's my $0.02 worth: I am 25 and have already been through a separation because I met someone when I was 19 and he was so cool, he was older, had a great job, drove an awesome car - totally suped up, muffler, rims, you name it - had so many friends, took me places, treated me like I was pure gold and I ate every single ounce of it up.

Fast forward 8 months and that starts to wear off - his anger and violence issues are showing through and he's no longer the charmer he was; we got into an argument once and he started speeding down the road, tried to undo my seatbelt and open my door while taking a sharp left turn - I'll let you imagine what that could do to me; also told me he couldn't handle knowing that I was such a s!ut before we met and he feels like every time we're out together he can't walk down the street without seeing some guy I've been with (which is not true at all!); he emptied and overdrew bank accounts and spent a lot of my money while going through the separation; he broke sliding patio glass doors; broke a carbon fibre fender for his car and threw it at me and so on. After we were together for just over 3 years, I broke it off - had enough and said he needs help: he's mentally unstable and violent and has serious anger issues. We were apart for about 6 months, he contacted me and said he worked really hard, was in counselling and so on and fixed his issues. And for a while he had, everything was perfect again. Since we'd been together for a while and things were working, I said he could move back in and he did. Then *kitten* hit the fan - he punched holes in walls, yelled at me - right in my face, spit hitting my nose yelling, made me into someone I hated. And then in May of this year I had a pregnancy scare and it was then that I realized I deserve way better and so I decided to give it 6 weeks to turn around but it only got worse and he would one day tell me he's such a horrible boyfriend and I should just tell him what to do and then two days turn around and accuse me of ruining him and he couldn't be happy because I forced him to sacrifice the things he loves doing to be with me. One day, I said fine, let me help you with that and I moved out. I always justified it with he just gets angry but I grew up with parents who did argue sometimes and they argued without breaking this or throwing things at each other and I also justified the holes in wall by saying well, he didn't hit me.

He made our separation the worst thing I've ever been through and I look back now and I realize ALL the signs were there but I wanted to be loved and to have someone so bad that I didn't care who it was and by the time I did, I was in too deep. Love yourself first and the right one will come along - I threw away the first half of my twenties to be with someone who didn't respect me or truly care about who I am as a person, we didn't even have close to the same values at all, but he was cool and popular and he wanted me. From experience, by feeling this way you will settle and you don't want to do that - be with someone who really appreciates you, has the same values as you, and even if you mess up still thinks the sun shines out of your *kitten*. Most of all, find someone who respects you, who trusts you and your judgment and who won't treat you like crap in an argument and then justify it with one of two things: 1) if you didn't say those things to get me so worked up I wouldn't have to get so mad or 2) I only get that mad and angry because I love you so much, that's how I know you're the one, I don't get that mad at anyone else. Both of those are crap and are the beginning of a seriously abusive relationship. Because of the first reason, I walked on eggshells and blamed so many of our arguments on things I said, or questioned.

You're 19 - you have so much time! Focus on college - you'll do so great, get an awesome job and the men (the ones who are worth it) will find you.

Feel free to add me if you'd ever like to chat.

Take care of yourself

xo

I was 26 when I met my fella. I felt like I would never meet anyone.
All good things come to those who wait.