I'm 19 and have never had a boyfriend :(

13

Replies

  • trenzalours
    trenzalours Posts: 60
    edited November 2014
    FaithfulJewel wrote: »
    You won't be happy with someone else until you can be happy with yourself.

    And once you're happy with yourself, you will gain confidence and that will open up doors in your life, be it love, career or other things.

    Don't panic, life isn't a race.

    This is the best advice. Don't be discouraged because you've never had a boyfriend. Learn to love yourself for everything you can be. Have fun being single and eventually love will come your way in the least likely of places.

    I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 17 but it was all online for 7 months. We met on a forum based site that was kind of a troll message board. We hated each other and would avoid each other on MSN all the time. Then we started talking more and more until one day on Skype I told him I loved him. We met in person when I was 18 years old and I moved to Florida for college and to be with him. We've been together for 6 years and it will be 7 in February.

    Don't go looking for love because I truly do believe that it will find you when you're ready and when whoever is right for you is ready. Love yourself and love the woman you're becoming You might even realize you don't need a man in your life at all! It all depends on your spirit and what kind of woman you are and who you might become.

  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    Boyfriends are overrated. I haven't had one in almost 3 years and have never been happier :smiley:
  • muffinsandcakes
    muffinsandcakes Posts: 333 Member
    Am 20 and doesn't and won't have one and am still breathing !!
    Don't make your life dependent on such trivialities you are a girl be yourself, have a dream and get in your life don't rush things ...
  • svconway01
    svconway01 Posts: 2 Member
    I'm sure you'll find the right one someday....after all, you look just like Taylor!
  • HollandWife
    HollandWife Posts: 1
    The best advice I can give you is to enjoy being you and go out and have fun with your friends! Going out with friends is honestly the best way to meet men. You could try POF or whatever and that might work, but in my experience, it's going out and gaining life experience is what gets you to where you want to be. Not just with men, but with yourself.People keep saying "enjoy being single". It's true and although it may not feel like it right now, you WILL meet someone worthy of you and that you want to be with all of the time. But don't rush it, babe. When you rush it, that's when you meet the losers. And remember, you may have to kiss a few frogs before you kiss a prince. It's all part of life.

    Go out and have fun with your friends. Try things out of your comfort zone, sing karaoke, get drunk, dance, play drinking games, volunteer, train for a 5k, take fitness classes. You will get there. And he will be great, but don't go out with the intention of finding him. He will find you.
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
    #1: All these daydreams you've had about cuddling by the fire and long walks and romantic dinners make up about 1% of the reality of a serious relationship. So when I say you're not missing much, I mean it. You're not missing as much as you think you are. No relationship is 1000 times better than a bad one.
    #2: That said, finding your best friend in an SO is wonderful and worth waiting for.
    #3: While you're waiting, find clubs, join a rec sports team, get on MeetUps and find people with similar interests. Go to museums, craft fairs, gun shows, volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, do whatever you're into. *HAVE FUN* while you're waiting.

    Really, 19 isn't that old. I'm sure you're tired of hearing that, but in 15 years, you'll see that it's true. And you'll wonder why you were in such a hurry. You have all kinds of time. Build your life, chase your dreams. The boyfriend situation will work it's way in there somewhere.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    It wasn't until I was 21 that I had my first boyfriend.
  • dietcoke281
    dietcoke281 Posts: 226 Member
    I'm 20 and I've never had a boyfriend either :(
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
    I'm the second person my husband has ever been with. His first was his late wife, and not until his mid 20's. I've had enough crappy relationships just in my early 20's for both of us. I wish I could say that I've only ever had two relationships where I truly loved the person and felt it reciprocated fully.

    When he came into my life we were both in so much pain, he had recently lost his wife, and I was in an abusive marriage. Neither one of us were looking for someone. It just happened.

    You can't search for it. It will find you.
  • ElliottTN
    ElliottTN Posts: 1,614 Member
    You should go out and date a few jerks so when a quality guy comes around you can appreciate him more.
  • Ldbg289
    Ldbg289 Posts: 236 Member
    I've decided for now, I'm good with being single. I've done the boyfriend thing and it was nothing but drama. Maybe one day I'll be open to dating again but for now....I'm enjoying being single. When it comes to you, you're 19, enjoy life and in time the right guy will come along.
  • Forest91
    Forest91 Posts: 1,203 Member
    Don't worry I am 23 years old and I have never had boyfriend or even my first kiss yet. I am not even upset that my 20 years old sister has got a boyfriend. Anyway you got to love yourself before you can love someone else so don't worry.
  • that_tall_girl
    that_tall_girl Posts: 95 Member
    Try not to let it discourage you too much. You're still quite young and you have lots to experience. I didn't have my first relationship until I was 26. I didn't even date before that. I've now been in a relationship with a wonderful guy for almost four years. The good guys are worth waiting for. I would still encourage you to try to get out there and meet people, but keep it casual. Don't go diving into anything right away. I met my guy on OK Cupid - they are out there, but it takes some digging.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    edited November 2014
    dont worry it will happen then youll look at that man one day and think why the hell did i want this so bad.
  • scarletpride16
    scarletpride16 Posts: 191
    I am in a similar position actually! 20 years old and have never had a girlfriend... But I try to live my life and enjoy my friends and family and try not to think about it too much and hope that one day it will work out for me!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    beardedwarriortx wrote: »
    My ex gf had her first kiss, first date, first bf with me. She was 23 at the time and is now turning 24. Shes smart (a teacher) gorgeous, athletic, super in shape, and everything amazing. I only broke up with her because she was a bit clingy and would text me 200 times a day. Ok, I've lost my point lol... Oh yes, my point was.... You can be everything awesome and not have that special someone yet. When the time is right, they just come along. Go out, have fun, and just let life happen.

    Other point. When you find him DO NOT TEXT him 200 times a day.
  • Jeneba
    Jeneba Posts: 699 Member
    I've been married twice and "involved" several times.... I have been on my own now for a while and, guess what, I am finally happy being by myself! I had to do a look of self-inquiry about WHY I wanted a relationship.... After all the questioning, I realized I didn't want one after all. Hugs, Dear!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    yoovie wrote: »
    When is your deadline?

    She appears to want to find one BEFORE the semester of college begins. However I think it would be GREAT if she focused on herself in her free time off of Kohl's with YAYOG or a membership at a local club if she can afford it and then hit the ground running when college starts again for her.
  • climbing_trees
    climbing_trees Posts: 726 Member
    Volunteer work is a great way to meet people. So is taking a class through your cities' recreation department.

    Focus on meeting as many new people as possible and making friendships, love interests will come in time. :)

    If you want to cuddle, perhaps foster an animal? Animal hugs are probably even better than people hugs. :P

    I didn't date until college. I survived!
  • megantischner
    megantischner Posts: 85 Member
    I was 21 when I had my first bf (didn't last long!) and then didn't really date again until I was 24.
    I did find a great guy (we're now married, 3 years!) via online dating (OKCupid) - but it took a lot of time and patience to find the serious guys while weeding out all the creepy guys just looking to hook up.
    You will find someone, it just may take time!
    In the meantime, why not try making more friends? You can try http://www.meetup.com/ to find people (including guys!) with similar interests.
  • rjmudlax13
    rjmudlax13 Posts: 900 Member
    Try meetup.com. It's not a dating website. It's about hanging out with people who have similar interested. I've met so many awesome people (both male and female) on meetup. I've also dated a few girls through meetup. Yes, you meet weirdos and guys that just want to "hook up," but you get that no matter where you go.

    Also, like others said, you are young! Don't worry so much about finding the "perfect" guy. Just keep improving yourself and do things you enjoy and someone will just show up.
  • Oi_Sunshine
    Oi_Sunshine Posts: 819 Member
    Get involved in activities, charity work, sports, an art or book club, save money for travel, find something you are passionate about and live a full life so when you do find someone you want to spend time with, you're including them in your own world rather than having your world revolve around them.
  • jasonmh630
    jasonmh630 Posts: 2,850 Member
    tracyannk28 wrote: »
    Boyfriends are overrated. I haven't had one in almost 3 years and have never been happier :smiley:

    Yeah?... well... Girlfriends are overrated too. lol

    Been single for about that long, myself. :)
  • lilmisfit1987
    lilmisfit1987 Posts: 183 Member
    I can't help but find it funny that you say you've never had a boyfriend and your profile picture is Taylor Swift. :wink: Love yourself, show confidence, and the guys will come. Make yourself a priority!
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    jazzy_45 wrote: »
    FaithfulJewel wrote: »
    You won't be happy with someone else until you can be happy with yourself.

    And once you're happy with yourself, you will gain confidence and that will open up doors in your life, be it love, career or other things.

    Don't panic, life isn't a race.

    Thanks but I am pretty happy with myself!
    clearly not- or else your identity issue with having a boyfriend wouldn't be an issue.

    People who are comfortable with themselves never question why they go through life "without" a thing to make them happy.

    They do the things that make them happy. Period.

    I didn't date till after college- I had one really REALLY effed up relationship in college that has literally scarred me for life and done more damage than I'm willing to admit. Almost cost me the love of my life I have now.

    Seriously- there is absolutely NO need to met some imaginary deadline. You should be you as you are and nothing else- if someone notices how awesome you are for YOU- then you can worry about it.

    No reason to rush- 19 is young. go on some dates- don't' go on some dates.
    I honestly miss being single sometimes. *kitten*'s fantastic.
  • LeslieB042812
    LeslieB042812 Posts: 1,799 Member
    jazzy_45 wrote: »
    FaithfulJewel wrote: »
    You won't be happy with someone else until you can be happy with yourself.

    And once you're happy with yourself, you will gain confidence and that will open up doors in your life, be it love, career or other things.

    Don't panic, life isn't a race.

    Thanks but I am pretty happy with myself!

    I don't think we're trying to say that you're not happy with yourself in the same sense of the word. We're saying that you need to be happy spending time with yourself--watching the movies, doing what interests you, etc. Be happy BEING WITH yourself, which you're not if you're trying so hard to get a boyfriend.

    I know it isn't the advice you were looking for, but it really is the truth. You'll only find the right person when you stop needing to find any person.

    Best of luck!
  • Howdoyoufeeltoday
    Howdoyoufeeltoday Posts: 481 Member
    helenarriaza wrote: »
    I'm 24 and I've never had a boyfriend.

    Then again, I am a lesbian.

    I love this answer!!! :p

    I'm 24 and I've had boyfriends. The first bf I had was a complete *kitten* and not only started me down a path of bad relationships and *kitten* choices, it also screwed me up mentally and now I'm bitter towards relationships and I think true love is a complete load of *kitten*. All cause I was so desperate to have a bf that I got one before I was ready.

    So take your time and wait for someone good to come along. In the mean time I suggest you snuggle yourself by the fire while you listen to Taylor Swift...that's what I do.
  • cdoesthehula
    cdoesthehula Posts: 141 Member
    Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think online dating is going to work for you right now. I can't imagine many boys your age would be mature enough for online dating.

    Instead, do things that make you feel good about yourself.

    Join clubs, find things that interest you and that you care about. I suspect your friends might not give perfect guidance, but if you feel like you want someone to talk to there is no shame in getting a bit of counselling.

    Just keep doing that, and it will happen for you. Things are going to be great. Really!
  • jenner_baby
    jenner_baby Posts: 13
    You are still young! Enjoy your life, get out and do stuff now. The right guy will come around and love you for who you are. I have been with my hubby since I was 16 and still happy, but not all young couples stay strong. Dont be in a hurry, you still have plenty of time to be with someone. :)
  • jenner_baby
    jenner_baby Posts: 13
    wibutterflymagic wrote: »
    Seriously your 19. Enjoy being single. There is so much more to life at 19 then having a boyfriend. If you are feeling this way at such a young age then you must not feel good about yourself and feel you need someone to complete you. Go out with your friends and have fun, meet people, join social groups, volunteer. Stop focusing on finding someone to make you feel better because it won't until you feel good about yourself. Yes it can suck at times but focusing on what isn't won't make you feel any better.

    Yes!!!
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