Should I just accept the fact I will always look thin?

Owlibee
Owlibee Posts: 138 Member
This is going to sound like such a whiny post but I am at such a low point at the moment.

My weight has failed to get above 8 stone. I managed to gain a pound or two here and there but it would quickly fall off again due to my extreme stress levels. If I have a good week and manage to pack the calories away I see no change in my weight. I cannot look in the mirror anymore or let my partner touch me.

Should I just accept the fact that due to my metabolism and stress levels I will always be this twig like? Should I just embrace it and ignore the bad looks and comments?

I am 8 stone and 5 foot 6. I have no *kitten*, no boobs and no curves. Sleeping is also painful due to having no fat there to cushion my body.

I have tried everything. Unfortunately my stress levels are so high my body burns faster then I can put in. Before the stress I was 10 stone and had curves. My diet has not changed , just my anxiety.
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Replies

  • juliafromrf
    juliafromrf Posts: 106 Member
    Owlibee wrote: »
    Should I just accept the fact that due to my metabolism and stress levels I will always be this twig like? Should I just embrace it and ignore the bad looks and comments?

    Yes.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    Aren't you the one who made a post about wanting to be obese a couple months ago?

    How many calories are you eating? If you aren't gaining weight, it's because you aren't eating enough.
  • smandymail
    smandymail Posts: 40 Member
    How old are you? I ask because I was in a similar situation for a long time - dealing with high levels of stress, for example an anxiety disorder, really does take a toll. Personally, I couldn't put on a pound until I reached my mid-20s. I was very happy to see some squishy parts to myself! This year I turned 30, and my metabolism has changed. I am actually on MFP to lose 15 pounds! I suppose that my advice is, give yourself a break. Your partner wants to touch you regardless of how you see yourself. Do what you can to fuel your system, and focus on the real problems that are causing you such stress. Zeroing in on one thing with such negativity is not healthy for you, physically or mentally. Try to find other things to focus on while your body and mind sort themselves out <3
  • Owlibee
    Owlibee Posts: 138 Member
    Aren't you the one who made a post about wanting to be obese a couple months ago?

    How many calories are you eating? If you aren't gaining weight, it's because you aren't eating enough.

    Yes and I realize it may now not be possible.

    Around 2000 calories per day, half of that is a big evening meal
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Sort out the stress then you should be able to gain the weight back if you used to be bigger.
  • Owlibee
    Owlibee Posts: 138 Member
    smandymail wrote: »
    How old are you? I ask because I was in a similar situation for a long time - dealing with high levels of stress, for example an anxiety disorder, really does take a toll. Personally, I couldn't put on a pound until I reached my mid-20s. I was very happy to see some squishy parts to myself! This year I turned 30, and my metabolism has changed. I am actually on MFP to lose 15 pounds! I suppose that my advice is, give yourself a break. Your partner wants to touch you regardless of how you see yourself. Do what you can to fuel your system, and focus on the real problems that are causing you such stress. Zeroing in on one thing with such negativity is not healthy for you, physically or mentally. Try to find other things to focus on while your body and mind sort themselves out <3

    I am 23

    I have been told to take up Yoga recently to try and focus my mind on something less destructive so will be adding it to my daily routine :)

    thank you for sharing your experience x
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    WHY are you stressed? Can you make changes to your life? Perhaps see a doctor/therapist about methods to control your anxiety. Regardless of your weight, it really isn't healthy to be that stressed all the time.
  • Owlibee
    Owlibee Posts: 138 Member
    WHY are you stressed? Can you make changes to your life? Perhaps see a doctor/therapist about methods to control your anxiety. Regardless of your weight, it really isn't healthy to be that stressed all the time.

    Numerous things. Moving house twice. Losing my dog of 15 years, losing my Grandad. Getting attacked by a man, got attacked again by a guy in a taxi. Became quite agrophobic after that and lost my Job due to not being able to perform due to stress.

    I know worse things can happen but all that happening in a space of a year took its toll on me
  • I can't take you seriously. Just love yourself the way you are, because you look pretty healthy to me. You don't need to gain -or lose- weight. Just.. be. Metabolism has nothing to do with it. You wanna gain weight? Eat. Eat eat eat. It ain't hard to understand.
  • Owlibee
    Owlibee Posts: 138 Member
    VaikeVihm wrote: »
    I can't take you seriously. Just love yourself the way you are, because you look pretty healthy to me. You don't need to gain -or lose- weight. Just.. be. Metabolism has nothing to do with it. You wanna gain weight? Eat. Eat eat eat. It ain't hard to understand.

    I am underweight. got it confirmed both my my GP at hospital by a dietitian.

    I do have a high metabolism. My body is always active and always shaking. it is never still and so I burn far too much. My heart beats fast all the time. Its like my body is running all the time. Bit hard to explain but last time I went to hospital they said thats what the problem was.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    Owlibee wrote: »
    WHY are you stressed? Can you make changes to your life? Perhaps see a doctor/therapist about methods to control your anxiety. Regardless of your weight, it really isn't healthy to be that stressed all the time.

    Numerous things. Moving house twice. Losing my dog of 15 years, losing my Grandad. Getting attacked by a man, got attacked again by a guy in a taxi. Became quite agrophobic after that and lost my Job due to not being able to perform due to stress.

    I know worse things can happen but all that happening in a space of a year took its toll on me

    I think you need to seek psychiatric counseling to help you learn how to cope with your stress and anxiety. Mental health is everything and until you are mentally healthy, life will seem a lot worse than it really is.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Owlibee wrote: »
    VaikeVihm wrote: »
    I can't take you seriously. Just love yourself the way you are, because you look pretty healthy to me. You don't need to gain -or lose- weight. Just.. be. Metabolism has nothing to do with it. You wanna gain weight? Eat. Eat eat eat. It ain't hard to understand.

    I am underweight. got it confirmed both my my GP at hospital by a dietitian.

    I do have a high metabolism. My body is always active and always shaking. it is never still and so I burn far too much. My heart beats fast all the time. Its like my body is running all the time. Bit hard to explain but last time I went to hospital they said thats what the problem was.

    I think if you worked on dealing with the issues that have caused you stress you will naturally put weight back on.

    That being said 2000 cals actually isn't a huge amount, you should be able to your cals without too much trouble.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    Owlibee wrote: »
    VaikeVihm wrote: »
    I can't take you seriously. Just love yourself the way you are, because you look pretty healthy to me. You don't need to gain -or lose- weight. Just.. be. Metabolism has nothing to do with it. You wanna gain weight? Eat. Eat eat eat. It ain't hard to understand.

    I am underweight. got it confirmed both my my GP at hospital by a dietitian.

    I do have a high metabolism. My body is always active and always shaking. it is never still and so I burn far too much. My heart beats fast all the time. Its like my body is running all the time. Bit hard to explain but last time I went to hospital they said thats what the problem was.

    You are only underweight by 0.4 points. And 2,000 calories is not enough to gain weight. Eat more.
  • Owlibee
    Owlibee Posts: 138 Member
    Owlibee wrote: »
    WHY are you stressed? Can you make changes to your life? Perhaps see a doctor/therapist about methods to control your anxiety. Regardless of your weight, it really isn't healthy to be that stressed all the time.

    Numerous things. Moving house twice. Losing my dog of 15 years, losing my Grandad. Getting attacked by a man, got attacked again by a guy in a taxi. Became quite agrophobic after that and lost my Job due to not being able to perform due to stress.

    I know worse things can happen but all that happening in a space of a year took its toll on me

    I think you need to seek psychiatric counseling to help you learn how to cope with your stress and anxiety. Mental health is everything and until you are mentally healthy, life will seem a lot worse than it really is.

    I have had therapy for the past few months and on a waiting list for a more specialized type of therapy as the first course did not work very well.
  • Owlibee
    Owlibee Posts: 138 Member
    Owlibee wrote: »
    VaikeVihm wrote: »
    I can't take you seriously. Just love yourself the way you are, because you look pretty healthy to me. You don't need to gain -or lose- weight. Just.. be. Metabolism has nothing to do with it. You wanna gain weight? Eat. Eat eat eat. It ain't hard to understand.

    I am underweight. got it confirmed both my my GP at hospital by a dietitian.

    I do have a high metabolism. My body is always active and always shaking. it is never still and so I burn far too much. My heart beats fast all the time. Its like my body is running all the time. Bit hard to explain but last time I went to hospital they said thats what the problem was.

    You are only underweight by 0.4 points. And 2,000 calories is not enough to gain weight. Eat more.

    My GP refused to give me medication because he said my body is too thin to cope with it. I dont think he would have said that if my weight was okay. I was told I need to gain a stone before I can take any kind of medication.
  • AmigaMaria001
    AmigaMaria001 Posts: 489 Member
    What's wrong with just accepting yourself the way you are? You don't look a bit too skinny to me. Get professional help with the mental health issues and stop stressing about your weight for goodness sakes. You look fine - but if you don't feel fine mentally then that's where you need to help - not with diet.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    edited November 2014
    Owlibee wrote: »
    Owlibee wrote: »
    VaikeVihm wrote: »
    I can't take you seriously. Just love yourself the way you are, because you look pretty healthy to me. You don't need to gain -or lose- weight. Just.. be. Metabolism has nothing to do with it. You wanna gain weight? Eat. Eat eat eat. It ain't hard to understand.

    I am underweight. got it confirmed both my my GP at hospital by a dietitian.

    I do have a high metabolism. My body is always active and always shaking. it is never still and so I burn far too much. My heart beats fast all the time. Its like my body is running all the time. Bit hard to explain but last time I went to hospital they said thats what the problem was.

    You are only underweight by 0.4 points. And 2,000 calories is not enough to gain weight. Eat more.

    My GP refused to give me medication because he said my body is too thin to cope with it. I dont think he would have said that if my weight was okay. I was told I need to gain a stone before I can take any kind of medication.

    Medication for what…?

    I was more underweight than you are (97 lbs and 5'4") and I was given anxiety medication… So your GP is full of crap.

    You are considered underweight if you have a BMI less than 18.5. You have a BMI of 18.1. I had a BMI of 16.6. You are BARELY underweight. Get a new doctor.
  • williams969
    williams969 Posts: 2,528 Member
    (((HUGS))). Now, look at the positive--you have a good idea what your maintenance calories are. Congrats, truly. Find the right level is a difficult matter for many of us who need to maintain.

    Now go eat some more--like 500+ more a day. Drink your calories if need be, or add extra servings of fats to your foods to make up the difference if food volume is an issue.
  • WanderingBomb
    WanderingBomb Posts: 69 Member
    I've had a few friends over the years with this issue. One was actually discharged from the Military for it. The only thing that helped him to gain weight and be happy with himself was to put on muscle. He started lifting weights and eating high protein and high carb. Focus on Macros instead of calories (your dietitian should be able to help you with that) and lift,lift,lift! Good Luck!
  • Owlibee
    Owlibee Posts: 138 Member
    Owlibee wrote: »
    Owlibee wrote: »
    VaikeVihm wrote: »
    I can't take you seriously. Just love yourself the way you are, because you look pretty healthy to me. You don't need to gain -or lose- weight. Just.. be. Metabolism has nothing to do with it. You wanna gain weight? Eat. Eat eat eat. It ain't hard to understand.

    I am underweight. got it confirmed both my my GP at hospital by a dietitian.

    I do have a high metabolism. My body is always active and always shaking. it is never still and so I burn far too much. My heart beats fast all the time. Its like my body is running all the time. Bit hard to explain but last time I went to hospital they said thats what the problem was.

    You are only underweight by 0.4 points. And 2,000 calories is not enough to gain weight. Eat more.

    My GP refused to give me medication because he said my body is too thin to cope with it. I dont think he would have said that if my weight was okay. I was told I need to gain a stone before I can take any kind of medication.

    Medication for what…?

    I was more underweight than you are (97 lbs and 5'4") and I was given anxiety medication… So your GP is full of crap.

    You are considered underweight if you have a BMI less than 18.5. You have a BMI of 18.1. I had a BMI of 16.6. You are BARELY underweight. Get a new doctor.

    Contraceptive medication and stronger anxiety medication. Only medication I am on at the moment is to keep my heartrate steady as if it gets too high I need to go to A&E

  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    edited November 2014
    Owlibee wrote: »
    Owlibee wrote: »
    Owlibee wrote: »
    VaikeVihm wrote: »
    I can't take you seriously. Just love yourself the way you are, because you look pretty healthy to me. You don't need to gain -or lose- weight. Just.. be. Metabolism has nothing to do with it. You wanna gain weight? Eat. Eat eat eat. It ain't hard to understand.

    I am underweight. got it confirmed both my my GP at hospital by a dietitian.

    I do have a high metabolism. My body is always active and always shaking. it is never still and so I burn far too much. My heart beats fast all the time. Its like my body is running all the time. Bit hard to explain but last time I went to hospital they said thats what the problem was.

    You are only underweight by 0.4 points. And 2,000 calories is not enough to gain weight. Eat more.

    My GP refused to give me medication because he said my body is too thin to cope with it. I dont think he would have said that if my weight was okay. I was told I need to gain a stone before I can take any kind of medication.

    Medication for what…?

    I was more underweight than you are (97 lbs and 5'4") and I was given anxiety medication… So your GP is full of crap.

    You are considered underweight if you have a BMI less than 18.5. You have a BMI of 18.1. I had a BMI of 16.6. You are BARELY underweight. Get a new doctor.

    Contraceptive medication and stronger anxiety medication. Only medication I am on at the moment is to keep my heartrate steady as if it gets too high I need to go to A&E

    You're not listening to what I'm saying…. You are barely underweight.

    As for your doctor saying you need to gain weight in order to be prescribed birth control and anxiety medication….. That's a lie. There's absolutely no reason why you cannot take a SSRI or SNRI (typical anxiety medications). There's also no reason you cannot take birth control. Find a new doctor who actually knows what they are talking about.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Owlibee wrote: »
    Owlibee wrote: »
    Owlibee wrote: »
    VaikeVihm wrote: »
    I can't take you seriously. Just love yourself the way you are, because you look pretty healthy to me. You don't need to gain -or lose- weight. Just.. be. Metabolism has nothing to do with it. You wanna gain weight? Eat. Eat eat eat. It ain't hard to understand.

    I am underweight. got it confirmed both my my GP at hospital by a dietitian.

    I do have a high metabolism. My body is always active and always shaking. it is never still and so I burn far too much. My heart beats fast all the time. Its like my body is running all the time. Bit hard to explain but last time I went to hospital they said thats what the problem was.

    You are only underweight by 0.4 points. And 2,000 calories is not enough to gain weight. Eat more.

    My GP refused to give me medication because he said my body is too thin to cope with it. I dont think he would have said that if my weight was okay. I was told I need to gain a stone before I can take any kind of medication.

    Medication for what…?

    I was more underweight than you are (97 lbs and 5'4") and I was given anxiety medication… So your GP is full of crap.

    You are considered underweight if you have a BMI less than 18.5. You have a BMI of 18.1. I had a BMI of 16.6. You are BARELY underweight. Get a new doctor.

    Contraceptive medication and stronger anxiety medication. Only medication I am on at the moment is to keep my heartrate steady as if it gets too high I need to go to A&E

    You're not listening to what I'm saying…. You are barely underweight.

    As for your doctor saying you need to gain weight in order to be prescribed birth control and anxiety medication….. That's a lie. There's absolutely no reason why you cannot take a SSRI or SNRI (typical anxiety medications). There's also no reason you cannot take birth control. Find a new doctor who actually knows what they are talking about.

    Finding a new doctor might not be possible as I'm assuming she's in the U.K.
  • This content has been removed.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Owlibee wrote: »
    Owlibee wrote: »
    Owlibee wrote: »
    VaikeVihm wrote: »
    I can't take you seriously. Just love yourself the way you are, because you look pretty healthy to me. You don't need to gain -or lose- weight. Just.. be. Metabolism has nothing to do with it. You wanna gain weight? Eat. Eat eat eat. It ain't hard to understand.

    I am underweight. got it confirmed both my my GP at hospital by a dietitian.

    I do have a high metabolism. My body is always active and always shaking. it is never still and so I burn far too much. My heart beats fast all the time. Its like my body is running all the time. Bit hard to explain but last time I went to hospital they said thats what the problem was.

    You are only underweight by 0.4 points. And 2,000 calories is not enough to gain weight. Eat more.

    My GP refused to give me medication because he said my body is too thin to cope with it. I dont think he would have said that if my weight was okay. I was told I need to gain a stone before I can take any kind of medication.

    Medication for what…?

    I was more underweight than you are (97 lbs and 5'4") and I was given anxiety medication… So your GP is full of crap.

    You are considered underweight if you have a BMI less than 18.5. You have a BMI of 18.1. I had a BMI of 16.6. You are BARELY underweight. Get a new doctor.

    Contraceptive medication and stronger anxiety medication. Only medication I am on at the moment is to keep my heartrate steady as if it gets too high I need to go to A&E

    You're not listening to what I'm saying…. You are barely underweight.

    As for your doctor saying you need to gain weight in order to be prescribed birth control and anxiety medication….. That's a lie. There's absolutely no reason why you cannot take a SSRI or SNRI (typical anxiety medications). There's also no reason you cannot take birth control. Find a new doctor who actually knows what they are talking about.

    Finding a new doctor might not be possible as I'm assuming she's in the U.K.

    Why not? Presuming the practice OP goes to has more than one doctor?
  • jnv7594
    jnv7594 Posts: 983 Member
    I hate to be rude, but maybe you need to find a new doctor. Looking at your pictures, you look normal weight. The fact that you say you can't look in the mirror anymore and you WANT to be obese, would indicate you are suffering from more than just anxiety. I'm sorry, but that's not a normal way of thinking, especially when you appear to not be extremely underweight. And actually, you don't look underweight to me at all...unless that is not you in your photos.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    MrM27 wrote: »
    Meh, no advice for the OP.

    FFF, I really like the new picture. Nice costume!!

    Thanks dear :)

  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    edited November 2014
    Owlibee wrote: »
    Owlibee wrote: »
    Owlibee wrote: »
    VaikeVihm wrote: »
    I can't take you seriously. Just love yourself the way you are, because you look pretty healthy to me. You don't need to gain -or lose- weight. Just.. be. Metabolism has nothing to do with it. You wanna gain weight? Eat. Eat eat eat. It ain't hard to understand.

    I am underweight. got it confirmed both my my GP at hospital by a dietitian.

    I do have a high metabolism. My body is always active and always shaking. it is never still and so I burn far too much. My heart beats fast all the time. Its like my body is running all the time. Bit hard to explain but last time I went to hospital they said thats what the problem was.

    You are only underweight by 0.4 points. And 2,000 calories is not enough to gain weight. Eat more.

    My GP refused to give me medication because he said my body is too thin to cope with it. I dont think he would have said that if my weight was okay. I was told I need to gain a stone before I can take any kind of medication.

    Medication for what…?

    I was more underweight than you are (97 lbs and 5'4") and I was given anxiety medication… So your GP is full of crap.

    You are considered underweight if you have a BMI less than 18.5. You have a BMI of 18.1. I had a BMI of 16.6. You are BARELY underweight. Get a new doctor.

    Contraceptive medication and stronger anxiety medication. Only medication I am on at the moment is to keep my heartrate steady as if it gets too high I need to go to A&E

    You're not listening to what I'm saying…. You are barely underweight.

    As for your doctor saying you need to gain weight in order to be prescribed birth control and anxiety medication….. That's a lie. There's absolutely no reason why you cannot take a SSRI or SNRI (typical anxiety medications). There's also no reason you cannot take birth control. Find a new doctor who actually knows what they are talking about.

    Finding a new doctor might not be possible as I'm assuming she's in the U.K.

    Anything's possible. I highly doubt the psychiatry practice OP goes to only has ONE doctor. If OP wants help badly enough, she will seek help where help can be found… even if it means traveling some ways to get there.
  • Oi_Sunshine
    Oi_Sunshine Posts: 819 Member
    Psych evaluation and thyroid tests. Good luck!
  • libbydoodle11
    libbydoodle11 Posts: 1,351 Member
    OP, how do you even know if you are eating enough to gain? I checked your diary and you haven't even been logging regularly.

    I suggest logging your calories and seeking professional help about your body image issues as well as whatever anxiety issues you are suffering from.
  • Owlibee
    Owlibee Posts: 138 Member
    Psych evaluation and thyroid tests. Good luck!

    Already had both of those. Came out that I was on the "dangerous" end of depression. Thyroid tests all came back normal
This discussion has been closed.