"I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get too skinny!"

Iwishyouwell
Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
in Health and Weight Loss

OK, this has always intrigued me because I've seen in on just about every weight loss or fitness board I've ever even cursorily passed through.

Overweight and obese people setting goals that are still pretty high, or are right at the high end of the "normal" scale, with a disclaimer of "I don't want to be skinny!!!".

Why do you think that is? What's with this apparent fear of becoming too low in body fat and/or weight? Many of the weights I see where people believe they will, or did, look too skinny/thin/emaciated use to be commonplace, average and normal a few decades ago (or in parts of the world today). Yet there seems to be this apparent backlash these days about conceptualizing a body that's relatively lean or light.

What do you think is the root of the big thin scare?
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Replies

  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    edited November 2014
    I find it strange too. People claim to have different body types though and claim to be more muscular naturally whereas they look emaciated at a low weight, but I do wonder if they are fooling themselves. Without purposely lifting weights to bulk up, I question if they are right. I look best at the low end of the bmi scale or a little underweight according to bmi.
  • thiswillhappen
    thiswillhappen Posts: 634 Member
    So based on my recent exploration of tumblr blogs, this is what I hypothesize re the "I don't want to get skinny" statement:

    I think this is a way for people to say that they want to get healthy without putting pressure on themselves to look the way that the standard magazine model does ("skinny"). It's a way to set a limit for yourself, keep expectations reasonable and also let other people online know implicitly that you want to lose weight but are not triggering or encouraging disordered eating (in yourselves or others). It's part of the whole "healthy not skinny" movement that steers away from pro-ana or -mia material. There is a (mis)conception that the word "skinny" has been appropriated by pro-ana/mia blogs, and maybe some people shy away from using the word as a result. Of course, "skinny" does not necessarily mean "you have an eating disorder" as we all know, so it's a bit of an unfair association people make.
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
    For some people, that allows them to set a goal that is just under a 100 pounds lost, which can be a huge psychological barrier.

    Some people have been overweight their entire lives and actually do see people at the mid to low range of BMI as emaciated. Heck, my mother in law has never been overweight and she sees her son as emaciated, even though he is actually a 20.something BMI, just with low body fat. But I am pretty sure she would accept anyone but her son at that size, being a good southern woman and all.

    For those that are just over their ideal BMI, it usually justifies not having to do the work anymore.

    In other words, it isn't any different than the people who insist at being at the low end or just under their range BMI, except there aren't many health risks associated with being slightly overweight - that is what the obese category denotes. So if someone wants to hover at what you consider slightly chubby, but they find it easy to maintain, are happy with themselves, who cares?

  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,771 Member
    Skinny is an arbitrary term. So yes, for some people, myself included, skinny means waif-like and emaciated as a result of being co-opted by the pro-ana/mia crowd.

    I don't want to be "skinny"; I want to be healthy, fit and strong. And if health, fit and strong means I'm on the upper limit of the "normal" range, so be it.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    herrspoons wrote: »
    That and its equally bizarre twin: "I want to get toned, but I don't want big muscle LOL!!1!1!"

    I haven't really seen this on here. I have seen a lot more people accusing women of thinking this than actual women who think this.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    I've been at the low end of my height's healthy weight range and have no intention to go back to it. First, it would be difficult to maintain comfortably. Second, it's not the look I'm going for (weak and had no curves.) I'd prefer to be stronger and have the shape that would put me in the mid to high area of my healthy weight range.
  • CupcakeCrusoe
    CupcakeCrusoe Posts: 1,355 Member
    I personally set my goal at the high range of normal bmi because I have never, ever, been normal bmi in my life. Except as you know, an infant and small child.

    I will re-evaluate when I get to normal bmi. I think a lot of people do.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    Before this thread goes on, this is a simple query about a common phenomenon among those trying to lose weight.

    The thread is not a judgement or an attempt to shame your, or anyone else's, goals. It's just a question, a hope to understand other people better. Nothing more, nothing less. Please check potential butthurt at the door.

    thiswillhappen wrote: »
    It's part of the whole "healthy not skinny" movement that steers away from pro-ana or -mia material. There is a (mis)conception that the word "skinny" has been appropriated by pro-ana/mia blogs, and maybe some people shy away from using the word as a result.

    Which just brings up even more questions. Like why is there this huge backlash against eating disorders when people with true restrictive eating disorders are still a very small percentage of the population.

    Todays' modern western weight related issue is not one of too little eating, but far too much. The biggest eating disorder today is chronic overconsumption, to the detriment of health, not the reverse. Yet so many people are afraid they'll "catch" the Ana, or somebody will think they're catching it. To the point where people seem far more comfortable being 30-50 pounds overweight, but terrified of being on the lower end of the BMI or a few pounds underweight.

    It's fascinating how much the tides have turned. I wonder if there has been a documentary or a book written about this topic?
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    CupcakeCrusoe wrote: »
    I personally set my goal at the high range of normal bmi because I have never, ever, been normal bmi in my life. Except as you know, an infant and small child.

    I will re-evaluate when I get to normal bmi. I think a lot of people do.

    Yep, that's exactly what I did.

  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,771 Member
    OP, you are asking for opinions regarding being "skinny", which as I mentioned, is an arbitrary term. In order to better understand your question, perhaps you could supply the responders with a quantitative definition of "skinny" so we can better answer you.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    Calliope610 wrote: »
    OP, you are asking for opinions regarding being "skinny", which as I mentioned, is an arbitrary term. In order to better understand your question, perhaps you could supply the responders with a quantitative definition of "skinny" so we can better answer you.

    I thought she was pretty clear in the o.p.
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    Personally, I set a goal to feel better, as well as be at a size I find aesthetically pleasing. I'm working on maintaining my current size 14.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,771 Member
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Calliope610 wrote: »
    OP, you are asking for opinions regarding being "skinny", which as I mentioned, is an arbitrary term. In order to better understand your question, perhaps you could supply the responders with a quantitative definition of "skinny" so we can better answer you.

    I thought she was pretty clear in the o.p.

    I read the OP, please point out the definition of "skinny", as I seem to have missed it. Thank you.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    edited November 2014
    Calliope610 wrote: »
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Calliope610 wrote: »
    OP, you are asking for opinions regarding being "skinny", which as I mentioned, is an arbitrary term. In order to better understand your question, perhaps you could supply the responders with a quantitative definition of "skinny" so we can better answer you.

    I thought she was pretty clear in the o.p.

    I read the OP, please point out the definition of "skinny", as I seem to have missed it. Thank you.

    she seems to say that some people define "skinny" as being below the top end of bmi for normal.
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
    My goal may change. Right now I am aiming for a normal bmi. I will revaluate when I am closer. I have no fear of being "too thin".

    I have been a lower weight before. My thought is if you haven't been a normal weight at your height you don't know what it will be like and could have some concerns.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    I absolutely did and still do feel like this

    I am currently above my maximum "BMI" at around 26 on a medium frame, but I'm probably 24 on a large frame which is more me. I have lost 38lbs to bring me down to a 12 (US 8)

    I love my curves and do not want to lose them, ditto my muscles and the shape of my legs ...I have a small pouch above my c-section scars I wouldn't mind going but really I don't want to go much thinner which for me, and my husband, would be too skinny for me

    Different strokes ...

    I think lollipop celebs are "too skinny"
  • stackhsc
    stackhsc Posts: 439 Member
    personally this was my goal, i suspect its largely a mental thing. Society is so down on people losing weight probably because then they would feel they would have to also. Also because many people probably picture skinny as the unhealthy skin and bones look .

    By saying i dont want to get skinny it kind of deflects the attention and also from experience being overweight i didnt want attention.

    I actually take more grief for loosing weight or what others deem as too much weight than i ever did for being over weight. Its a weird feeling to know that you are still over weight, the dr tells you that you are, you can see it, you can feel it, your bmi says it but people around you are telling you youve lost "too much" Id bet for many of the people making the statement they have experienced this phenomena or similar before and its an easy way to deflect attention (not that they are consciously doing it, the brain does weird things with out even thinking about them)

    again these are just my thoughts based on my perceptions of my own experiences and from my perception of conversations ive had with others who have or who are doing this.

    Ive lost 135 so far, another 10-35 to go depending on how i look and feel when i get there. to me its become a lot less of a numeric goal and becoming more of a i'll know it when i see it and feel it.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,771 Member
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Calliope610 wrote: »
    Aviva92 wrote: »
    Calliope610 wrote: »
    OP, you are asking for opinions regarding being "skinny", which as I mentioned, is an arbitrary term. In order to better understand your question, perhaps you could supply the responders with a quantitative definition of "skinny" so we can better answer you.

    I thought she was pretty clear in the o.p.

    I read the OP, please point out the definition of "skinny", as I seem to have missed it. Thank you.

    she seems to say that some people define "skinny" as being below the top end of bmi for normal.

    People then define "skinny" based on their individual frame of reference or perspective. It's kinda like asking someone what "rich" or "wealthy" means. The answer differs due to different perspectives.

  • Malteaster
    Malteaster Posts: 75 Member
    I think that although people may claim to have a goal weight above normal BMI, once they get there they will reconsider and reduce their goal downwards.

    I also think if you have a lot of weight to lose it is hard to visualise what you will look like at goal, and perhaps they imagine that they will look borderline anorexic.

    This is a fascinating topic.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,771 Member
    edited November 2014
    I find it interesting that OP is questioning the validity of others personal choices and preferences, yet her avatar states "Do what works for you, not everyone else."

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