"I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get too skinny!"
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Iwishyouwell wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »holly55555 wrote: »Well for me, "too skinny" means getting to a body fat percentage that is very difficult for me to maintain. I want to be able to eat like a normal and healthy person - and be allowed cheat meals! I don't want to kill myself getting to a super thin body and then never get to enjoy foods I love just to stay there. My goal is to be fit and still eat what I want (in moderation).
Why would you have to sacrifice foods you love and be unable eat like a normal (whatever that means), healthy person even if you did get "super thin"?
I think you're contradicting yourself with this rhetorical (I assume) question. You say becoming under weight just ain't gonna happen by accident. Meaning to me that it's damn hard work and you'll likely have to eat less than you've been accustomed to. Yeah you can exercise but if you were doing the same exercise and maintaining at a higher weight, you could eat more.
To explain further I will have you recall a post where someone said their idea of moderation might be to enjoy a sliver of their favorite cake/pizza etc and you basically said that would be miserable for you. Being bigger does more or less mean you get to enjoy more calories and still potentially maintain your target weight
I see no contradiction.
She supposed that if she were to get thin she couldn't eat like "normal" people and would "never" get to enjoy the foods she loves.
How does that make any sense whatsoever?
Since there are, indeed, very thin people who eat "normally" and enjoy all kinds of food?
No matter how you define moderation, isn't the classic MFP perspective that you can have ALL ZE FOODZ no matter what size you are? How would getting very thin suddenly change that?
Very thin, especially active, people aren't usually maintaining their weight on super low calorie diets. Hell I have one of the lower goal weights I've seen around here for a man of my height and my maintenance calories are pretty high.
She said she didnt want to get to a weight that was "very difficult to maintain". To me the whole post makes sense because I couldn't necessarily successfully have a nice huge calorific meal once every three weeks or so. It just wouldn't do :laugh: I would want it more often which would translate to a higher maintenance weight
Yes, a lot of people say you can eat all the food and they have phenomenal levels of self control where they can have a huge cake in the house and only have a reasonable portion every other day. That's not necessarily everyone's experience. I swear I was gonna find the first neighbor's pet I saw and kick it yesterday when I peeked a diary - daily goal 2x mine. And the ****** was probably on a cut
You talk about active thin people but it's widely acknowledged that ultimately you can only exercise so much. I know I'm coming across as a bit whiny but I'm not really sure how else to explain that a smaller body burns less calories and therefore requires less food to maintain that weight at said low level
LOL I think you explained it just fine.
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Well, skinny is the actual minority in the USA, with a great percentage of the population being overweight or obese. So being "thin" or "skinny" tends to look weird to us, heavy to healthier countries. This is *a* reason smaller people are sometimes viewed as "emaciated". And yes, healthy correlates with normal weight. A preference to look larger might *sometimes* also drive unhealthiness.0
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I'm losing weight after my third baby, but i was eating the same amount (actually more sometimes) when I was 37lbs lighter pre-pregnancy. Due to all the strength training I'm doing I'm fairly sure that when I hit pre-preg weight I'll be smaller than I was before at that weight, as my clothes aren't fitting like I'm 37lbs heavier at all, more like 15-20lbs.
I expect if I continue with exercise the way I am, and obviously I'll continue to be active running round after 3 kids, so I don't expect to have to dramatically reduce my calories when I get thin again, so I don't think being 'skinny' necessarily involves giving up the foods you like. I think if you don't exercise that may be the case.
I don't think I'll be 'skinny' (I was a us size 6/8 and I reckon I'll be a 6) but i'll be thin and fit and still enjoying a treat!0 -
For some people it's a cushion against failure; e.g. "It's Ok that I couldn't manage to lose any more, I didn't want to get skinny." Not exactly a sour grapes thing, more a pre-justification for not meeting a goal that they start off doubting they can meet, sometimes for themselves, sometimes for the benefit of saying to other people to avert having to admit they didn't quite get to where they wanted to be.
I personally would love to be skinny, but due to my low self-esteem, being skinny enough in my head would probably be too thin to be healthy in reality (basically I know that if I strived to be skinny, I'd never be satisfied with how skinny I was, because my mind always assumes that I'm failing at things) so I'm happy to aim for just being 'a bit slimmer than I was'. Which I guess may also be another reason as to why people don't want to get 'too skinny', in case they go too far.0 -
Iwishyouwell wrote: »people with true restrictive eating disorders are still a very small percentage of the population.
there are more people with eating disorders than there are people with green eyes.0 -
I think skinny is a slightly negative word
to me. I have been too skinny before and that was when I was unhealthy and I looked unhealthy. There is a reason BMI is a range and people look still hot in different different sizes of clothing. I don't like how I look when my face gets too gaunt and my bones stick out- big boned is perhaps an actual thing! I have big boobs and butt and hips and I think women look good with a nice percentage of body fat, but still are "slim". (I am not straight so I get extra stay in this lol). Also you get colder in winter and it hurts to sit down and your bony legs rub together- even if your weight is not as low as others, you are too skinny for you and people and you can tell and it's not pretty. I want to get want get back to that slim ideal hourglassy with flatish tummy and not too skinny! 0 -
Ethereal_Whisper wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »people with true restrictive eating disorders are still a very small percentage of the population.
there are more people with eating disorders than there are people with green eyes.
This is true, http://www.buzzle.com/articles/eye-color-percentages.html gives the percentage as 1-2% world wide.0 -
Ethereal_Whisper wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »people with true restrictive eating disorders are still a very small percentage of the population.
there are more people with eating disorders than there are people with green eyes.
That's nice?0 -
As a middle aged woman; I would'nt want my face to look old and gaunt. I shall se when I get near my goal weight. (For now, I've put it in the middle of healthy BMI range). For me, I think the lower BMI range or a bit under would be too skinny. I also worry about loose skin and saggier boobs. Don't want things to be saggier than they have to. I have about 20 kgs to get rid of.0
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Some people genuinely do have a higher than usual muscle mass. Coming from an athletics background (sprints, shot put,discus and long jump) and being naturally strong, at 27 years old and 159cm, my fat free (lean) body mass is currently 56.2kg - a full 11.1kg above the top of the standard range for my age, height and gender. If I maintain that level of lean mass, I'll be down to a very fit 22% body fat at 73kg, but the BMI chart would still be calling me 7kg overweight. The one time I did get down to 66kg (the top "healthy" weight for my height), years ago, I was carrying a possibly dangerously low 14% body fat and I looked and felt very ill.
I guess I just want it understood that just because someone says they have extra muscle, doesn't mean they're deluding themselves. It can be absolutely true.0 -
Or maybe its because some that are over weight or obese have never even been close to being normal. So the thought of getting to normal or the high end of normal seems impossible. That is how I feel.... my goal weight is at the high end of my normal because as an adult I have never been close to it. Once I get there I will reassess where I need to be.0
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I think that if you take "binge eating" out, the rate of eating disorders is a lot less. For anorexia, I think it's 1 in 200 women, and much, much lower for men. 90% of sufferers are women. You're more likely to become schizophrenic than anorexic.LumberJacck wrote: »Ethereal_Whisper wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »people with true restrictive eating disorders are still a very small percentage of the population.
there are more people with eating disorders than there are people with green eyes.
This is true, http://www.buzzle.com/articles/eye-color-percentages.html gives the percentage as 1-2% world wide.
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On not wanting to be skinny... I think there can be an existential component to it. If on some level you don't really trust the universe (fate, god, whatever) to provide, part of you might want to hoard some sustenance where no one can take it from you-- in your cells. It may not even be a conscious thought or decision. That's based on feng shui, though, which is probably too 'out there' for many here.
But from a purely evolutionary perspective, we're also probably hard-wired to store calories for future famines, too. Who knows-- our aesthetic choices might be guided by our biology.0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »On not wanting to be skinny... I think there can be an existential component to it. If on some level you don't really trust the universe (fate, god, whatever) to provide, part of you might want to hoard some sustenance where no one can take it from you-- in your cells. It may not even be a conscious thought or decision. That's based on feng shui, though, which is probably too 'out there' for many here.
Really? I've never heard of that philosophical theory. Interesting.
I'm heading off to google feng shui and obesity!0 -
Iwishyouwell wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »MsHarryWinston wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »MsHarryWinston you look fine as hell in that pic.
But your weight doesn't surprise me. You're taller than average, blessed in the chest, and have some serious muscle mass. You look like our stereotypical image of a beautiful amazonian warrior, ala Wonder Woman. So no, your weight doesn't surprise me at all, and you're an obvious outlier for the typical BMI range.
Which most people aren't. Even though it's common to believe they are.
Why thank you dahling, that's the sweetest thing I've heard all day. I do tend to carry my Amazonian mantle with pride. That song "Brickhouse" is practically my theme song.
I just wanted to show an example of how sometimes there really ARE outliers. We tend to trash the whole "special snowflake" mentality on here because for the most part people ARE pretty delusional. I tend to roll my eyes at people too, but I DO try to keep an open mind and remember my own "oddities" because sometimes there really are random traits here or there that ruins the bell curve ya know?
Definitely. I love women of all shapes and sizes, but that "brickhouse" look? Unbeatable.
I appreciate a good outlier. It's just embarrassing when you have somebody who is obviously not working overtime to make people believe they are.
Hell I've never been delusional about my weight, but even I was convinced, because I carried my weight "well" as a big man, that I was an outlier; I just thought I HAD to be a larger frame, "big boned" (what a nonsense term), etc. Nope, no special snowflake here. Medium framed and just had too much damn fat on my body, like many folks.
So. . .tell me more about how this thread was started because of actual curiosity and not because you think people are setting their goals too high.
What are you going on about this time?
A lot of fat people, especially those of us who've been fat since childhood, like me for instance, grow up with distorted body image. A lot of us convince ourselves, or were convinced by others, that we were just naturally "big boned", hefty, "thick", large framed, etc people. For some that is true, like the lovely woman I was speaking to, and for many it's a lie. There isn't a single damn thing wrong with pointing that out.
This thread was created to explore the reasons why so many people seemed to be actively afraid and/or antagonistic about going lower. Lots of people actually aren't naturally "big", yet so many former overweight/obese people say they are and seem to actually be antagonistic against being thin/skinny/ultra lean, whatever adjective that suits you. I wanted to hear not only why it's so common for people to set goals still on the high side (like I once did), but to understand better why so many were downright adamant about never going to the mid/low side of whatever range their bodies exist in. Some people never considering the possibility that a lower body fat might leave them well below their goals and is quite possible. And some people stop while still overweight and fight against the idea that perhaps they actually aren't a "big" person, by nature, after all. I wanted to get some thoughts and some discourse going on why there is so much push back, especially since we collectively use to be a much slimmer set of people in most of the world. Our genes haven't changed in the last 30 or so years. So this is a shift psychologically, perhaps even socially.
Thankfully most have offered great insight and have kept this discussion civil, intelligent and forward moving. Most.
This is so true. I know that I've never thought that it was possible for me to be a thin girl. I was always jealous of the thin girls in high school and thought that I could never be one. One thing that is different for me this time is understanding that it is possible. I have a smaller bone structure than I thought I did. This thinking was self inflicted (meaning its not like anyone ever told me this) just from being a chubby kid.
The "being told this from a young age" is also true for some of my family members. I've heard them actually say "well, she's always carried her weight like **this** and would never be able to lose it naturally" or "we just have larger bone structures than other people, so we'll never be petite", when its just simply not true. To me it feels like excuses or them trying to convince themselves that they way they eat is fine, but they truly believe it because they heard it all the time growing up.0 -
amyrebeccah wrote: »Well, not everyone is you. Some people may be afraid to set more aggressive goals, either because of worry of lack of achievement or because of previous history of disordered eating.
But plenty of people have been lower weights and didn't like themselves at that weight, or remember liking themselves a certain way that doesn't fit your definition of an appropriate weight.
How bout you do you and I'll do me.
word.
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Suddencrumpet wrote: »As a middle aged woman; I would'nt want my face to look old and gaunt. I shall se when I get near my goal weight. (For now, I've put it in the middle of healthy BMI range). For me, I think the lower BMI range or a bit under would be too skinny. I also worry about loose skin and saggier boobs. Don't want things to be saggier than they have to. I have about 20 kgs to get rid of.
My grandmother used to say she didn't want to be too skinny in her old age because when she got sick and couldn't eat properly she had no fat to lose. She lived on her own into her mid-90's so maybe she was on to something.
Looks aside, the healthy range of BF% is actually higher for older women than for younger. After menopause having too low BF leads to even lower estrogen levels.0 -
Suddencrumpet wrote: »As a middle aged woman; I would'nt want my face to look old and gaunt. I shall se when I get near my goal weight. (For now, I've put it in the middle of healthy BMI range). For me, I think the lower BMI range or a bit under would be too skinny. I also worry about loose skin and saggier boobs. Don't want things to be saggier than they have to. I have about 20 kgs to get rid of.
I've always been told I look young for my age. My general response was, "Body fat sure plumps up the wrinkles!"
I've been reading this thread with some interest. I have probably said something along those lines, but it would be couched that I didn't "necessarily" want to be skinny. This isn't because I have some horror of being thin, but I want to keep things in balance. The only time I was close to "skinny" in my post-college life, I was probably flirting with orthorexia. I don't want to be skinny IF that's what it would take. I don't want to be skinny IF the focus on my body takes too much attention away from other things in my life that I value. I don't want to be skinny IF it's not sustainable. I'm looking for a healthy, sustainable way of living and am trying to stay focused on process -- exercise, healthy eating -- rather than getting too wrapped up in a particular weight.
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I'm 5'4" and currently 165#. My goal was 150#. Because of this thread, I'm thinking of heading for 125#.
I wonder if I can do it! The lowest I've been in my adult life is 142, and that was when I was training for a mini-triathlon.
I think the only time I weighed 125 was in seventh grade.0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »
I think that if you take "binge eating" out, the rate of eating disorders is a lot less. For anorexia, I think it's 1 in 200 women, and much, much lower for men. 90% of sufferers are women. You're more likely to become schizophrenic than anorexic.LumberJacck wrote: »Ethereal_Whisper wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »people with true restrictive eating disorders are still a very small percentage of the population.
there are more people with eating disorders than there are people with green eyes.
This is true, http://www.buzzle.com/articles/eye-color-percentages.html gives the percentage as 1-2% world wide.
Why on earth would you take binge eating out? I'm sorry, was my bulemia not hip enough for you, or does it squeek in because I binged AND purged? *sigh*. Seriously, there are other serious eating disorders out there than just anorexia. And it's the attitude of "oh that one doesn't seem like it really counts lets take it out of the stats", that ends up screwing over all the people that need help. "Oh you eat too much? Just put down the fork. Come ask me for help when you start throwing up or something." *shakes head*. No. Just no.
You want to talk stats? My sister came down with anorexia the same year I came down with bulimia and we didnt even KNOW until later. Sisters and we didn't know. The stats are probably a bit off.
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MsHarryWinston wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »
I think that if you take "binge eating" out, the rate of eating disorders is a lot less. For anorexia, I think it's 1 in 200 women, and much, much lower for men. 90% of sufferers are women. You're more likely to become schizophrenic than anorexic.LumberJacck wrote: »Ethereal_Whisper wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »people with true restrictive eating disorders are still a very small percentage of the population.
there are more people with eating disorders than there are people with green eyes.
This is true, http://www.buzzle.com/articles/eye-color-percentages.html gives the percentage as 1-2% world wide.
Why on earth would you take binge eating out? I'm sorry, was my bulemia not hip enough for you, or does it squeek in because I binged AND purged? *sigh*. Seriously, there are other serious eating disorders out there than just anorexia. And it's the attitude of "oh that one doesn't seem like it really counts lets take it out of the stats", that ends up screwing over all the people that need help. "Oh you eat too much? Just put down the fork. Come ask me for help when you start throwing up or something." *shakes head*. No. Just no.
You want to talk stats? My sister came down with anorexia the same year I came down with bulimia and we didnt even KNOW until later. Sisters and we didn't know. The stats are probably a bit off.
Thank you. There's a lot of people on these boards who don't take binge eating seriously, in their mind just an excuse to evade personal responsibility for the heinous sin of overeating.0 -
Binge eating disorder isn't bulimia. Binge eating alone is pretty common and I don't think it's that pertinent to the original point about 'getting too skinny'.MsHarryWinston wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »
I think that if you take "binge eating" out, the rate of eating disorders is a lot less. For anorexia, I think it's 1 in 200 women, and much, much lower for men. 90% of sufferers are women. You're more likely to become schizophrenic than anorexic.LumberJacck wrote: »Ethereal_Whisper wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »people with true restrictive eating disorders are still a very small percentage of the population.
there are more people with eating disorders than there are people with green eyes.
This is true, http://www.buzzle.com/articles/eye-color-percentages.html gives the percentage as 1-2% world wide.
Why on earth would you take binge eating out? I'm sorry, was my bulemia not hip enough for you, or does it squeek in because I binged AND purged?
But maybe many people do fear they'll 'catch' binge eating or bulimia from getting skinny. Who knows.
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It's all relative....to each their own. We all have our own bodies to do as we wish with them
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At 145, I consider myself too skinny and never want to go there again. That's still a 20 in the BMI range0
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MsHarryWinston wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »
I think that if you take "binge eating" out, the rate of eating disorders is a lot less. For anorexia, I think it's 1 in 200 women, and much, much lower for men. 90% of sufferers are women. You're more likely to become schizophrenic than anorexic.LumberJacck wrote: »Ethereal_Whisper wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »people with true restrictive eating disorders are still a very small percentage of the population.
there are more people with eating disorders than there are people with green eyes.
This is true, http://www.buzzle.com/articles/eye-color-percentages.html gives the percentage as 1-2% world wide.
Why on earth would you take binge eating out? I'm sorry, was my bulemia not hip enough for you, or does it squeek in because I binged AND purged? *sigh*. Seriously, there are other serious eating disorders out there than just anorexia. And it's the attitude of "oh that one doesn't seem like it really counts lets take it out of the stats", that ends up screwing over all the people that need help. "Oh you eat too much? Just put down the fork. Come ask me for help when you start throwing up or something." *shakes head*. No. Just no.
You want to talk stats? My sister came down with anorexia the same year I came down with bulimia and we didnt even KNOW until later. Sisters and we didn't know. The stats are probably a bit off.
In an ever expanding society I WISH people would take binge eating disorders more seriously. Bulimia isn't just strictly a binge related eating disorder, and it's at least taken far more seriously than binge-without-purge disorders.
Many, many people have disordered eating patterns that result in over consumption. If those disorders were properly acknowledged and classified the amount of over consumers would be vastly more plentiful than those with restriction and/or purging related disorders.
Restrictive eating disorder, despite the press, are still relatively rare. Yet so, so many fat or formerly fat people are terrified that they'll magically become "anorexic", or be confused as such, yet the same stigmas don't exist for some of the disordered behavior that might have aided them in becoming overweight/obese in the first place (I used "might" as to not suggest that all people with a weight issue also have a binge eating issue).
Someone with anorexia or bulimia, if discovered, will more than likely be admonished and pushed to get help.
Someone who is an emotional eater who chronically over consumes, has an unhealthy relationship with food, and begins to destroy their mental and physical health with food, is not offered the same support. They're just told to put down the fork and man up.0 -
I think people want to make sure not to actually lose muscle tissue, and the women would like to keep their T&A for the most part.0
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WalkingAlong wrote: »
Binge eating disorder isn't bulimia. Binge eating alone is pretty common and I don't think it's that pertinent to the original point about 'getting too skinny'.MsHarryWinston wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »
I think that if you take "binge eating" out, the rate of eating disorders is a lot less. For anorexia, I think it's 1 in 200 women, and much, much lower for men. 90% of sufferers are women. You're more likely to become schizophrenic than anorexic.LumberJacck wrote: »Ethereal_Whisper wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »people with true restrictive eating disorders are still a very small percentage of the population.
there are more people with eating disorders than there are people with green eyes.
This is true, http://www.buzzle.com/articles/eye-color-percentages.html gives the percentage as 1-2% world wide.
Why on earth would you take binge eating out? I'm sorry, was my bulemia not hip enough for you, or does it squeek in because I binged AND purged?
But maybe many people do fear they'll 'catch' binge eating or bulimia from getting skinny. Who knows.
I know binge eating isn't bulimia. Bulimia is binging and purging, which I mentioned in my post but I know it wasn't very clearly stated due to my annoyance.
Anorexia = purging / eating very little
Binge eating = eating uncontrollably
Bulimia = binging and purging
And while not pertinent to the original post I did feel that it was important to reply to the post that mentioned it.0 -
I know a couple of people who've done this.
One wasn't convinced she could lose anything. So of course, she set her goal high. That way it was just probably unattainable and not completely out of the realm of possibility in her mind. She did a pretty extreme diet and was successful. Dropped way below her original goal, and is at the low end of healthy BMI now. She definitely does not think she is too skinny now that she is there. I think she looks great and so does everyone else I've heard comment on it.
The other has convinced himself (with support from others) that he looks 'emaciated' at a healthy BMI, even at the very top end. He's been at a healthy BMI previously, for years. He did NOT look emaciated. His cheekbones did become more prominent. He did look like a slender guy with relatively little muscle. He was a cycling, racket ball/squash/tennis, swimming cardio guy, with no lifting for muscle development. He doesn't seem ready to really do anything about his weight, although he has a good amount that he needs to lose and has some serious health issues that would be improved if he lost even half of what he should. I wonder in his case if the 'emaciated' thing isn't holding him back. Either because he's using it as an excuse, or because it's a negative push against losing weight and he just isn't all that motivated to do it in the first place.0 -
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Iwishyouwell wrote: »
Restrictive eating disorder, despite the press, are still relatively rare. Yet so, so many fat or formerly fat people are terrified that they'll magically become "anorexic", or be confused as such, yet the same stigmas don't exist for some of the disordered behavior that might have aided them in becoming overweight/obese in the first place (I used "might" as to not suggest that all people with a weight issue also have a binge eating issue).MsHarryWinston wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »
I think that if you take "binge eating" out, the rate of eating disorders is a lot less. For anorexia, I think it's 1 in 200 women, and much, much lower for men. 90% of sufferers are women. You're more likely to become schizophrenic than anorexic.LumberJacck wrote: »Ethereal_Whisper wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »people with true restrictive eating disorders are still a very small percentage of the population.
there are more people with eating disorders than there are people with green eyes.
This is true, http://www.buzzle.com/articles/eye-color-percentages.html gives the percentage as 1-2% world wide.
Why on earth would you take binge eating out? I'm sorry, was my bulemia not hip enough for you, or does it squeek in because I binged AND purged? *sigh*. Seriously, there are other serious eating disorders out there than just anorexia. And it's the attitude of "oh that one doesn't seem like it really counts lets take it out of the stats", that ends up screwing over all the people that need help. "Oh you eat too much? Just put down the fork. Come ask me for help when you start throwing up or something." *shakes head*. No. Just no.
You want to talk stats? My sister came down with anorexia the same year I came down with bulimia and we didnt even KNOW until later. Sisters and we didn't know. The stats are probably a bit off.
Did you know that if you have a lot of weight to lose and you cut to really restrictive dieting (like going from 3500 to 1200 calories/day) your body can have the same symptoms of being an anorexic because your body isn't used to it and you're asking it to run on less fuel.
Not that it's relevant to this, just an interesting fact.
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