"I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get too skinny!"
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Final body weight under 160 would be over half of original body weight.
Total loss of 165 is over half of original body weight.
Po-tay-toh, po-tah-toh. Six of one, half dozen of another.
Completely misread that. Not a potahtoh potahtoh situation. It was my utter not being able to read. lol.
165lbs lost is not 165lbs bodyweight which is how I read it. Derp on me.0 -
holly55555 wrote: »Well for me, "too skinny" means getting to a body fat percentage that is very difficult for me to maintain. I want to be able to eat like a normal and healthy person - and be allowed cheat meals! I don't want to kill myself getting to a super thin body and then never get to enjoy foods I love just to stay there. My goal is to be fit and still eat what I want (in moderation).
Why would you have to sacrifice foods you love and be unable eat like a normal (whatever that means), healthy person even if you did get "super thin"?0 -
My experience is the exact opposite tbh, as someone who came from 294 lbs and has been stuck between 140 and 170 for 2 or 3 years now. As soon as I cut out soda and started taking walks (that's literally all I did - I didn't even count calories), the first hundred pounds melted right off - it's the last stretch that is starting to actually require effort.
This sounds like the mentality of someone who doesn't/didn't have too much to lose. I think if you're 20lbs overweight it's easy to set a low goal and be pretty confident you'll hit it, most likely without making too many drastic changes to your lifestyle. Maybe you start going to the gym if you're not already. You shave off a couple hundred calories. Try out weight lifting. Now imagine you have 150lbs+ to lose. Imagine the modifications you'll need to make to your lifestyle to do that. You're someone who's never exercised or hasn't in years. You've never thought about what you've ate or restricted yourself in the past. There's a good chance your hobbies are extremely sedentary and possibly even specifically revolve around eating/drinking.Iwishyouwell wrote: »Overweight and obese people setting goals that are still pretty high
See, the thing about that is when you're obese and you stay that way, you probably already have a ton of bad habits so it's easy to change one or two at a time and keep everything else relatively the same. You remain in relative comfort and go at your own pace, while still losing consistently. Now, someone who has less to lose might only have one or two bad habits, sure, but those bad habits probably make them happy and they can't be like "oh, well, I still have this, so I don't feel deprived." Not to mention you lose faster if you have more to lose - people with not as much to lose also stand to be discouraged by losing 0.5 lbs this week where someone with a lot to lose might have lost 2 or even 3.0 -
My experience is the exact opposite tbh, as someone who came from 294 lbs and has been stuck between 140 and 170 for 2 or 3 years now. As soon as I cut out soda and started taking walks (that's literally all I did - I didn't even count calories), the first hundred pounds melted right off - it's the last stretch that is starting to actually require effort.
This sounds like the mentality of someone who doesn't/didn't have too much to lose. I think if you're 20lbs overweight it's easy to set a low goal and be pretty confident you'll hit it, most likely without making too many drastic changes to your lifestyle. Maybe you start going to the gym if you're not already. You shave off a couple hundred calories. Try out weight lifting. Now imagine you have 150lbs+ to lose. Imagine the modifications you'll need to make to your lifestyle to do that. You're someone who's never exercised or hasn't in years. You've never thought about what you've ate or restricted yourself in the past. There's a good chance your hobbies are extremely sedentary and possibly even specifically revolve around eating/drinking.Iwishyouwell wrote: »Overweight and obese people setting goals that are still pretty high
See, the thing about that is when you're obese and you stay that way, you probably already have a ton of bad habits so it's easy to change one or two at a time and keep everything else relatively the same. You remain in relative comfort and go at your own pace, while still losing consistently. Now, someone who has less to lose might only have one or two bad habits, sure, but those bad habits probably make them happy and they can't be like "oh, well, I still have this, so I don't feel deprived." Not to mention you lose faster if you have more to lose - people with not as much to lose also stand to be discouraged by losing 0.5 lbs this week where someone with a lot to lose might have lost 2 or even 3.
I lost only 35'ish pounds and the only things I really changed compared to the other times that I failed to lose weight was to walk to and from work which equates to 4 miles a day (5 miles now after moving), cutting out diet soda other than as a once in a while mixer with alcohol and taking vitamin d. Not sure if something else is at work here because it was ridiculously easy to get into the underweight bmi range based on this and overall eating less (which had failed to produce results before), but assuming it was not, this works for the last few pounds too. I also upped my calories and eat pretty normally now and don't really limit my food at all.0 -
You, madam, are hilarious!DeirdreWoodwardSanders wrote: »The only "person" who has noticed is my Wii Fit. It doesn't go "ugh" in a sad disappointed voice any more when I step on it.
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Iwishyouwell wrote: »Before this thread goes on, this is a simple query about a common phenomenon among those trying to lose weight.
The thread is not a judgement or an attempt to shame your, or anyone else's, goals. It's just a question, a hope to understand other people better. Nothing more, nothing less. Please check potential butthurt at the door.thiswillhappen wrote: »It's part of the whole "healthy not skinny" movement that steers away from pro-ana or -mia material. There is a (mis)conception that the word "skinny" has been appropriated by pro-ana/mia blogs, and maybe some people shy away from using the word as a result.
Which just brings up even more questions. Like why is there this huge backlash against eating disorders when people with true restrictive eating disorders are still a very small percentage of the population.
Todays' modern western weight related issue is not one of too little eating, but far too much. The biggest eating disorder today is chronic overconsumption, to the detriment of health, not the reverse. Yet so many people are afraid they'll "catch" the Ana, or somebody will think they're catching it. To the point where people seem far more comfortable being 30-50 pounds overweight, but terrified of being on the lower end of the BMI or a few pounds underweight.
It's fascinating how much the tides have turned. I wonder if there has been a documentary or a book written about this topic?
I don't think it's a backlash against eating disorders. I think It's a backlash against people glorifying and encouraging eating disorders. With all of the comments from the pro ana/mia communities about "skinny," it's not surprising to me that some people resist the term or have a fear and/ or dislike of looking like they might have an eating disorder.
You have a fair point about the biggest disordered eating issue in the western world, but I think you are missing the bigger issue. For people who resist being "too skinny," or have a mindset against it, it may not be entirely about the issue of disordered eating. For women and, increasingly, for men as well, the backlash is really against a society and an industry that tells us how we must look in order to be acceptable human beings and, specifically, that it should be super thin and perfect in every way. A lot of people are just flat out sick of it -- sick of being told that if we aren't model-thin, we aren't good enough. It implies that the only value of a person is in how they look and that only one "look" is acceptable to society as a whole. More and more women (and men) are rejecting that ideology and saying that healthy and strong is just as OK as stick-thin and/or that they will pick the weight they are happy with regardless of what anyone else thinks of it.
I mean, when we really think it through, why is it so confusing that people could be perfectly happy with themselves at 30lbs overweight? Is it just because when they hit a certain BMI number (and degree of thinness), they automatically become a more acceptable person so why wouldn't they want to do it? Well, maybe they are happy and healthy as they are and are just done dieting. Maybe they like the way they look. Maybe they have a lot of muscle and are carrying extra pounds for that reason. Maybe they've achieved a huge weight loss already and feel like they've reached a comfortable end point for them. Maybe they are at a healthy mental place and they know continuing to push it will cause them to backslide into bad habits. You ask why someone would chose to stay a little overweight. Well, I ask why someone would chose to continue putting themselves through the stress and pressure of dieting down to an "acceptable" weight range when they are already happy/ healthy/ accomplished what they set out to/ etc?
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Personally I put 170 because I honestly cannot remember the last time I was under 170. When I finally went under 200 (sw 245) I finally lowered my "goal" to 160 - it actually seems doable now. I just want to be strong as hell, really, and be happy looking at myself. I think one of the bigger "ooh maybe I can get smaller moments" moments was seeing my hip measurements go from 48" to 43" - I have no butt and wiiiide hips.
I will also say I would NEVER look down upon any person for being too skinny - I -personally- find that body type attractive! It does seem impossible to me though - I've got linebacker shoulders and horseback riding quads
I guess I would summarize my goals as more of body fat goals - and I'm not sure what weight I'll be at when I'm happy with my body comp.
Oh - and an attractive face is awesome regardless of size. Even if I do lose a ton more weight, I'll never have the picture perfect face I'd love.0 -
My UGW is at the high end of BMI. I am losing weight primarily for health reasons (to avoid diabetes primarily) and to feel better physically (comfortable in my skin, no limitations, etc.). It's not so I can look extra thin. At 5'1, 130 is the high edge of "normal," but regardless, the goal of decreasing the chance of weight-related health problems will be achieved. If I decide at that point to go lower, I will do that. But I don't see why I need to make it harder for myself for vanity's sake. Losing 200 pounds is hard enough.0
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Iwishyouwell wrote: »holly55555 wrote: »Well for me, "too skinny" means getting to a body fat percentage that is very difficult for me to maintain. I want to be able to eat like a normal and healthy person - and be allowed cheat meals! I don't want to kill myself getting to a super thin body and then never get to enjoy foods I love just to stay there. My goal is to be fit and still eat what I want (in moderation).
Why would you have to sacrifice foods you love and be unable eat like a normal (whatever that means), healthy person even if you did get "super thin"?
Exactly. You wouldn't. My BMI is at the low end for my height, and I had Taco Bell and a fun sized Snickers bar for lunch.
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Iwishyouwell wrote: »holly55555 wrote: »Well for me, "too skinny" means getting to a body fat percentage that is very difficult for me to maintain. I want to be able to eat like a normal and healthy person - and be allowed cheat meals! I don't want to kill myself getting to a super thin body and then never get to enjoy foods I love just to stay there. My goal is to be fit and still eat what I want (in moderation).
Why would you have to sacrifice foods you love and be unable eat like a normal (whatever that means), healthy person even if you did get "super thin"?
I think you're contradicting yourself with this rhetorical (I assume) question. You say becoming under weight just ain't gonna happen by accident. Meaning to me that it's damn hard work and you'll likely have to eat less than you've been accustomed to. Yeah you can exercise but if you were doing the same exercise and maintaining at a higher weight, you could eat more.
To explain further I will have you recall a post where someone said their idea of moderation might be to enjoy a sliver of their favorite cake/pizza etc and you basically said that would be miserable for you. Being bigger does more or less mean you get to enjoy more calories and still potentially maintain your target weight0 -
Iwishyouwell wrote: »OK, this has always intrigued me because I've seen in on just about every weight loss or fitness board I've ever even cursorily passed through.
Overweight and obese people setting goals that are still pretty high, or are right at the high end of the "normal" scale, with a disclaimer of "I don't want to be skinny!!!".
Why do you think that is? What's with this apparent fear of becoming too low in body fat and/or weight? Many of the weights I see where people believe they will, or did, look too skinny/thin/emaciated use to be commonplace, average and normal a few decades ago (or in parts of the world today). Yet there seems to be this apparent backlash these days about conceptualizing a body that's relatively lean or light.
What do you think is the root of the big thin scare?
I don't think I'm scared of being thin or skinny or the mid of my BMI (115#). I'm just lazy. Half of me wants to be that weight, but the other half can't be bothered putting in the effort required to get there. I'd have to be more restrictive on my diet and actually go lift proper weights at a proper gym. It's scary for me to contemplate putting in that amount of work when I don't know if it will do anything more for me than be a visual change.
I picked 140# as a GW just to have something to shoot for. Like many others, I'll reassess when I get to that weight.
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Iwishyouwell wrote: »holly55555 wrote: »Well for me, "too skinny" means getting to a body fat percentage that is very difficult for me to maintain. I want to be able to eat like a normal and healthy person - and be allowed cheat meals! I don't want to kill myself getting to a super thin body and then never get to enjoy foods I love just to stay there. My goal is to be fit and still eat what I want (in moderation).
Why would you have to sacrifice foods you love and be unable eat like a normal (whatever that means), healthy person even if you did get "super thin"?
I think you're contradicting yourself with this rhetorical (I assume) question. You say becoming under weight just ain't gonna happen by accident. Meaning to me that it's damn hard work and you'll likely have to eat less than you've been accustomed to. Yeah you can exercise but if you were doing the same exercise and maintaining at a higher weight, you could eat more.
To explain further I will have you recall a post where someone said their idea of moderation might be to enjoy a sliver of their favorite cake/pizza etc and you basically said that would be miserable for you. Being bigger does more or less mean you get to enjoy more calories and still potentially maintain your target weight
Agreed. I want to still enjoy eating, though in a less disordered way than the way which caused my weight gain and not put myself at a weight where I have to continue restricting for life to maintain it.
Also Ive been down to my goal weight before (10.5-11 stone) which was actually in the BMI overweight range but I was a size 12, it suited me. Because Ive done so much sport for years and have an active physical job I do carry muscle (albeit currently covered in fat) and though I was technically overweight I was actually a nice size with well defined legs and arms. I was happy and content there so thats where I am aiming again
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Iwishyouwell wrote: »holly55555 wrote: »Well for me, "too skinny" means getting to a body fat percentage that is very difficult for me to maintain. I want to be able to eat like a normal and healthy person - and be allowed cheat meals! I don't want to kill myself getting to a super thin body and then never get to enjoy foods I love just to stay there. My goal is to be fit and still eat what I want (in moderation).
Why would you have to sacrifice foods you love and be unable eat like a normal (whatever that means), healthy person even if you did get "super thin"?
I think you're contradicting yourself with this rhetorical (I assume) question. You say becoming under weight just ain't gonna happen by accident. Meaning to me that it's damn hard work and you'll likely have to eat less than you've been accustomed to. Yeah you can exercise but if you were doing the same exercise and maintaining at a higher weight, you could eat more.
To explain further I will have you recall a post where someone said their idea of moderation might be to enjoy a sliver of their favorite cake/pizza etc and you basically said that would be miserable for you. Being bigger does more or less mean you get to enjoy more calories and still potentially maintain your target weight
I see no contradiction.
She supposed that if she were to get thin she couldn't eat like "normal" people and would "never" get to enjoy the foods she loves.
How does that make any sense whatsoever?
Since there are, indeed, very thin people who eat "normally" and enjoy all kinds of food?
No matter how you define moderation, isn't the classic MFP perspective that you can have ALL ZE FOODZ no matter what size you are? How would getting very thin suddenly change that?
Very thin, especially active, people aren't usually maintaining their weight on super low calorie diets. Hell I have one of the lower goal weights I've seen around here for a man of my height and my maintenance calories are pretty high.0 -
I don't know why people are so afraid of the word skinny, but that's my goal. Some people think skinny=emaciated, and I think fit=muscular so it's just a matter of personal opinion.
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amyrebeccah wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »amyrebeccah wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »MsHarryWinston wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »MsHarryWinston you look fine as hell in that pic.
But your weight doesn't surprise me. You're taller than average, blessed in the chest, and have some serious muscle mass. You look like our stereotypical image of a beautiful amazonian warrior, ala Wonder Woman. So no, your weight doesn't surprise me at all, and you're an obvious outlier for the typical BMI range.
Which most people aren't. Even though it's common to believe they are.
Why thank you dahling, that's the sweetest thing I've heard all day. I do tend to carry my Amazonian mantle with pride. That song "Brickhouse" is practically my theme song.
I just wanted to show an example of how sometimes there really ARE outliers. We tend to trash the whole "special snowflake" mentality on here because for the most part people ARE pretty delusional. I tend to roll my eyes at people too, but I DO try to keep an open mind and remember my own "oddities" because sometimes there really are random traits here or there that ruins the bell curve ya know?
Definitely. I love women of all shapes and sizes, but that "brickhouse" look? Unbeatable.
I appreciate a good outlier. It's just embarrassing when you have somebody who is obviously not working overtime to make people believe they are.
Hell I've never been delusional about my weight, but even I was convinced, because I carried my weight "well" as a big man, that I was an outlier; I just thought I HAD to be a larger frame, "big boned" (what a nonsense term), etc. Nope, no special snowflake here. Medium framed and just had too much damn fat on my body, like many folks.
So. . .tell me more about how this thread was started because of actual curiosity and not because you think people are setting their goals too high.
What are you going on about this time?
A lot of fat people, especially those of us who've been fat since childhood, like me for instance, grow up with distorted body image. A lot of us convince ourselves, or were convinced by others, that we were just naturally "big boned", hefty, "thick", large framed, etc people. For some that is true, like the lovely woman I was speaking to, and for many it's a lie. There isn't a single damn thing wrong with pointing that out.
This thread was created to explore the reasons why so many people seemed to be actively afraid and/or antagonistic about going lower. Lots of people actually aren't naturally "big", yet so many former overweight/obese people say they are and seem to actually be antagonistic against being thin/skinny/ultra lean, whatever adjective that suits you. I wanted to hear not only why it's so common for people to set goals still on the high side (like I once did), but to understand better why so many were downright adamant about never going to the mid/low side of whatever range their bodies exist in. Some people never considering the possibility that a lower body fat might leave them well below their goals and is quite possible. And some people stop while still overweight and fight against the idea that perhaps they actually aren't a "big" person, by nature, after all. I wanted to get some thoughts and some discourse going on why there is so much push back, especially since we collectively use to be a much slimmer set of people in most of the world. Our genes haven't changed in the last 30 or so years. So this is a shift psychologically, perhaps even socially.
Thankfully most have offered great insight and have kept this discussion civil, intelligent and forward moving. Most.
So when I responded to your question and you responded with all-caps fake laughter, that was civil and intelligent? Simply because instead of you wanting to be "underweight" you actually just want low body fat? How about when you told me to sit down?
Look, I've never been overweight. I've been heavier than I like and lighter than I like, but I haven't shared your experience. I just wanted to bring up the possibility that there are people who didn't have the same experience that you did. Not every man wants 10% body fat either.
I don't see the point in raising a question that isn't really a question--you've already decided why you think people set their goals where they did. You don't agree with everyone's goals--why do you have to? Why do they have to agree with you and set their goals lower? Are you conducting some kind of study? I'm sure that there are scholarly articles written on the subject that have gathered statistics that will inform you far better than a self-selected sample on the internet.
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For cleverness alone Mr_Knight, you sir win the internet today.0
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Iwishyouwell wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »holly55555 wrote: »Well for me, "too skinny" means getting to a body fat percentage that is very difficult for me to maintain. I want to be able to eat like a normal and healthy person - and be allowed cheat meals! I don't want to kill myself getting to a super thin body and then never get to enjoy foods I love just to stay there. My goal is to be fit and still eat what I want (in moderation).
Why would you have to sacrifice foods you love and be unable eat like a normal (whatever that means), healthy person even if you did get "super thin"?
I think you're contradicting yourself with this rhetorical (I assume) question. You say becoming under weight just ain't gonna happen by accident. Meaning to me that it's damn hard work and you'll likely have to eat less than you've been accustomed to. Yeah you can exercise but if you were doing the same exercise and maintaining at a higher weight, you could eat more.
To explain further I will have you recall a post where someone said their idea of moderation might be to enjoy a sliver of their favorite cake/pizza etc and you basically said that would be miserable for you. Being bigger does more or less mean you get to enjoy more calories and still potentially maintain your target weight
I see no contradiction.
She supposed that if she were to get thin she couldn't eat like "normal" people and would "never" get to enjoy the foods she loves.
How does that make any sense whatsoever?
Since there are, indeed, very thin people who eat "normally" and enjoy all kinds of food?
No matter how you define moderation, isn't the classic MFP perspective that you can have ALL ZE FOODZ no matter what size you are? How would getting very thin suddenly change that?
Very thin, especially active, people aren't usually maintaining their weight on super low calorie diets. Hell I have one of the lower goal weights I've seen around here for a man of my height and my maintenance calories are pretty high.
She said she didnt want to get to a weight that was "very difficult to maintain". To me the whole post makes sense because I couldn't necessarily successfully have a nice huge calorific meal once every three weeks or so. It just wouldn't do :laugh: I would want it more often which would translate to a higher maintenance weight
Yes, a lot of people say you can eat all the food and they have phenomenal levels of self control where they can have a huge cake in the house and only have a reasonable portion every other day. That's not necessarily everyone's experience. I swear I was gonna find the first neighbor's pet I saw and kick it yesterday when I peeked a diary - daily goal 2x mine. And the ****** was probably on a cut
You talk about active thin people but it's widely acknowledged that ultimately you can only exercise so much. I know I'm coming across as a bit whiny but I'm not really sure how else to explain that a smaller body burns less calories and therefore requires less food to maintain that weight at said low level
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Thisishowigotskinny wrote: »I don't know why people are so afraid of the word skinny, but that's my goal. Some people think skinny=emaciated, and I think fit=muscular so it's just a matter of personal opinion.
Yes, definition plays a part in it.
I have no negative associations with the word "skinny". When I look back at pictures from the 70s and prior most people look "skinny" to me. I think most people who have a pretty low body fat are "skinny". People who are large and very lean aren't all that common.
Having said that I do get people have negative associations with the word, including making it synonymous with emaciation, anorexia and underweightness. No matter what you call it though, the concept of getting "low" seems to be a huge no-no, and as this thread shows, for potentially quite a few reasons.I know I'm coming across as a bit whiny but I'm not really sure how else to explain that a smaller body burns less calories and therefore requires less food to maintain that weight at said low level
You're not coming off whiny to me at all.
She said she didnt want to get to a weight that was "very difficult to maintain". To me the whole post makes sense because I couldn't necessarily successfully have a nice huge calorific meal once every three weeks or so. It just wouldn't do :laugh: I would want it more often which would translate to a higher maintenance weight
Thanks for bringing that back up. I was more blinded by her insistence that she just couldn't eat like a normal person and had to give up all her favorite foods if she got too thin.
She did say it was very difficult to maintain. Your explanation makes a lot more sense to me, as in you'd just want a much bigger buffer to eat large meals that would likely made it difficult to maintain a much lower weight. I'm not sure if that's exactly what she meant, but if so thanks for clarifying that for her/me.Yes, a lot of people say you can eat all the food and they have phenomenal levels of self control where they can have a huge cake in the house and only have a reasonable portion every other day. That's not necessarily everyone's experience.
Well I think you've seen enough of my posts to know that's not my experience either LOL. Cake is in my house when I'm ready to eat it and open to finishing it in a day or two. Otherwise it's not in my house lol.
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ThatLadyFromMN wrote: »MsHarryWinston wrote: »My point is though that in that pic I'm 5'7 and about 160-165 lbs puting me in the "overweight" category of BMI. Does that look overweight to you? At that time you could also see 4-pack definition. So when I personally say I want to get down to 160 because I don't want too look too skinny, sure it sounds odd when for my hight "normal" is 130-150. But seriously? Taking another 30 pounds off of me in that pic? I'm I would NOT look healthy, I would in fact look too skinny.
So while people may pick a weight in the "overweight" category it doesn't always really mean they are "overweight", you know?
I understand that, (you are GORGEOUS by the way!!) when I got down to 150 at 5'3" I was very happy with the way I looked (God blessed me in the T&A department) and I plan on getting back there again.
We all look different at different weights even if we're the same height. I have a ridiculously large rack and therefore look proportionally different to someone of the same height and weight that has none. It's all about body composition and muscles, I am a female that lifts, therefore I have more muscles which ways more than fat. So someone who doesn't lift will again look differently when in comparison to me.
But hey, to each their own, as long as you feel good and are confident, it doesn't matter your size because you are beautiful. I don't want to fit into someone's mold of what they think I should look like or weigh, I'll never be perfect and I'm ok with that. Once I get down to 150 and I evaluate how I think I look and how I feel, who knows, maybe I'll decide to drop another 20-30. *shrugs* It's very individualized. I personally wouldn't mind being "skinny" as long as you can't see my bones and there are still some curves because my husband likes an *kitten* to grab... just sayin'.
All that being said, interesting topic, I don't mind a healthy lively debate, I don't mind people who's views are different than mine.. I can respect that. I welcome it, because hmm.. it may or may not change my views on something. Always be open to others views, you might surprise yourself. Y'all rock! Keep up the good fight and support each other in our endeavors
Thank you Hun, that's really sweet! And *Hi5* for the rediculously large booby club! Lol. I didn't lift then so I'm super excited to see what my body will be like around that weight as a lifter. Good luck on your journey!
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