"I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get too skinny!"
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Iwishyouwell wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »I was 95-97 lbs my whole life. I still had curves though.
Yeah, lots of slimmer/smaller women are curvy. I'm not sure why so many people associate "curves" with weight on the higher end.
Are "curves" not more about a woman's body shape versus her weight, to a certain extent?
Yep, curves to me just imply a big difference between your waist and hips, which can happen at any weight. I was curvy when I was bigger, I'm curvy now I'm losing weight after my baby, and I was curvy at my thinnest (well, I posted a pic earlier in the thread in my blue and white dress).
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I imagine the reasons for people not wanting to be "too skinny" or have very low BF would be all over the place.
I have no desire to be skinny or have a low BF%. My goal is at the upper end of the BMI scale and somewhere around 24% - 26% BF. My reasoning is that I think I'll look good at this size and there is no reason to believe it would be unhealthy.0 -
I didn't read all of the answers so apologies if I'm repeating this. I'm going to throw this in here...a lot of overweight or obese people have spent so much of their lives trying to be invisible, that they are uncomfortable with the idea of unwanted attention that comes from significant weight loss. They feel that if they are a "normal" weight, they can still fly under the social radar. Whereas if they are "skinny" (as in "OMG you look amazing), they will have some uncomfortable feelings to deal with. Weird but true.0
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People set goals that seem reachable and maybe once they reach it they can set a new one, and so forth.
But overweight people are usually insecure so often put down the lean athletic frame as a defence mechanism. If they make out that they don't want to be skinny/lean... then that gives them the excuse to not be.
There is an unhealthy level of skinny or course, but it's a lot lower than what today's western people see as skinny.
I have been told I was too skinny when my BMI is 23, which is healthy and the far end of healthy at that.
On body fat % charts there's lean, ideal, average, overweight. Average doesn't mean ideal! All these 'love your body' 'real women' things say that the average woman in the UK is a size 16 (or whatever it is now) but average does not mean it's good!!! If the average person murdered once a year it wouldn't make it okay!
So as the nation gets fatter and fatter the idea of what is healthy and normal gets clouded and moved to more unhealthy ranges. And to make themselves feel better about it they say that being slim and healthy is actually 'too skinny' and act like they don't want to be that way. When actually they do.
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I have not read anything in this thread except for the Original Post, so if I am rehashing something someone says I am sorry. That being said I am a man who is 6'1 with broad shoulders naturally big arms and bone structure. About 12 years ago I lost a lot of weight, down to the point that people in my life would tell me to stop losing weight because I just didn't look good skinny...and they were right. I even see pics of me from then and I don't like the way I look. Since then I gained a lot of weight, but I am headed in the right direction now and my goal is way out of the "Normal" range, because I feel that I just don't look good at 6'1 and 184 lbs0
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Iwishyouwell wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »I was 95-97 lbs my whole life. I still had curves though.
Yeah, lots of slimmer/smaller women are curvy. I'm not sure why so many people associate "curves" with weight on the higher end.
I don't know about other people but I make this association based on myself. I don't look at other women to determine my weight goals because I've never looked at one and thought "wow, her body shape/fat distribution looks exactly like mine!"
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Lourdesong wrote: »I personally would feel foolish referring to my rolls of fat as "curves". My feminine curves, the only curves I care about, are concealed beneath unsexy and unfeminine fat.
The women on my mother's side of the family, including my sister, are like this. They're built more like humpty-dumpty when they get overweight because they gain a lot of weight in the middle. My sister had WLS and is in here 180s now, down from 300 lbs. She is only now starting to discover her actual, feminine curves. Prior to that the only curves she had was a fat apron and back rolls (something she'd say herself). I've heard her say she's lost a lot of her breasts, yet she has more of that hourglass than she's ever seen before.
Meanwhile my wife is very, very voluptuous. She was voluptuous when her weight was down in the "normal" range and she's still so with lots of extra fat on her body.HanamiDango wrote: »I think what most people mean is they want to be healthy and not under weight?
Which is a mind blower since most people are nowhere near in danger of becoming legitimately underweight, especially the fat or formerly fat.
It's NOT easy to become underweight. It just isn't. Yet so many people seem terrified, on the surface at least, of just somehow magically, accidentally dieting down to an underweight skeleton.
It doesn't work that way.0 -
I am 148 pounds (high end of BMI) which is my goal and I am very happy, healthy and strong. I used to be 114 pounds (which is still in my BMI range) and maintained that size for years with severe body dysmorphia. I now have a fear of getting "too skinny," partly because of my previous body dysmorphia and looking back, I didn't look good at that size, nor was I strong. I realize this isn't the same issue for everyone, but this is my reason for not wanting to get "too skinny."0
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I set an approximate goal. But, when I get closer I will reevaluate. It doesn't have to do with being to skinny, it has to do more with being happy in my own skin. I want to build more muscle, which I know weighs more than fat. So, I don't know what that will look like at what weight.0
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I didn't read all of the answers so apologies if I'm repeating this. I'm going to throw this in here...a lot of overweight or obese people have spent so much of their lives trying to be invisible, that they are uncomfortable with the idea of unwanted attention that comes from significant weight loss. They feel that if they are a "normal" weight, they can still fly under the social radar. Whereas if they are "skinny" (as in "OMG you look amazing), they will have some uncomfortable feelings to deal with. Weird but true.
Very insightful. And very true for some.
A great friend of mine (who incidentally had WLS too and looks freaking incredible right now) was a fat kid. She's almost 30 years my senior, and back around the time I was born she lost a lot of weight. For the first time she ever she was no longer fat. It was then that she discovered that her weight kept her insulated, and to a certain extent, safe. After she lost the weight she was suddenly getting all this attention from men, attention she always craved but was unaccustomed to. She ended doing some serious damage to her marriage, acting out in some serious ways, and rushed to put the weight back on. She's a lot healthier now, has been in therapy for years to figure out her issues. She's not finally losing and it's with a healthier mindset than ever before.
I get that. I was a fat boy and growing up fat was emotionally detrimental for me. Losing weight the first time didn't do a lot to change my perception of self. I still couldn't "see" me clearly back then. As much as I hated, hated being fat, it was also my norm. I'm a much different place now and yet still, as I get closer to goal, I have to stay very open and committed to changing my mind right along side my body.
This fat hides stuff a lot deeper than our muscles and bones. It potentially has been covering, protecting and buffering us against a lot of things, good and bad.0 -
Well for me, "too skinny" means getting to a body fat percentage that is very difficult for me to maintain. I want to be able to eat like a normal and healthy person - and be allowed cheat meals! I don't want to kill myself getting to a super thin body and then never get to enjoy foods I love just to stay there. My goal is to be fit and still eat what I want (in moderation).0
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This sounds like the mentality of someone who doesn't/didn't have too much to lose. I think if you're 20lbs overweight it's easy to set a low goal and be pretty confident you'll hit it, most likely without making too many drastic changes to your lifestyle. Maybe you start going to the gym if you're not already. You shave off a couple hundred calories. Try out weight lifting. Now imagine you have 150lbs+ to lose. Imagine the modifications you'll need to make to your lifestyle to do that. You're someone who's never exercised or hasn't in years. You've never thought about what you've ate or restricted yourself in the past. There's a good chance your hobbies are extremely sedentary and possibly even specifically revolve around eating/drinking.Iwishyouwell wrote: »Overweight and obese people setting goals that are still pretty high
I'm probably the wrong candidate to quote on this.
I was 320lbs at my highest, have lost over 110lbs, and if I reach my low goal weight my total loss will be 165 lbs, over half my highest body weight.
I don't have to imagine it. I'm living it.0 -
[/quote]Iwishyouwell wrote: »Lourdesong wrote: »I personally would feel foolish referring to my rolls of fat as "curves". My feminine curves, the only curves I care about, are concealed beneath unsexy and unfeminine fat.
The women on my mother's side of the family, including my sister, are like this. They're built more like humpty-dumpty when they get overweight because they gain a lot of weight in the middle. My sister had WLS and is in here 180s now, down from 300 lbs. She is only now starting to discover her actual, feminine curves. Prior to that the only curves she had was a fat apron and back rolls (something she'd say herself). I've heard her say she's lost a lot of her breasts, yet she has more of that hourglass than she's ever seen before.
Meanwhile my wife is very, very voluptuous. She was voluptuous when her weight was down in the "normal" range and she's still so with lots of extra fat on her body.
Yeah the round middle is usually referred to as an apple shape. I'm a pear-shape yet wouldn't consider myself curvy despite having a low hip-waist ratio. I just don't think obese women of any body type are what anyone is referring to when talking about feminine curves or curvy figures. I saw a documentary recently that showed an 500+ pound woman who certainly was a pear and certainly had a low waist-hip ratio, but I wouldn't think for a moment that anyone would have her in mind when when talking about curvy women.
I'm 229 now, but I had a defined waist at my highest weight of 287. But "curvy" is not how I would define my figure then or now. It feels dumb... and dishonest, to me.
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Iwishyouwell wrote: »
This sounds like the mentality of someone who doesn't/didn't have too much to lose. I think if you're 20lbs overweight it's easy to set a low goal and be pretty confident you'll hit it, most likely without making too many drastic changes to your lifestyle. Maybe you start going to the gym if you're not already. You shave off a couple hundred calories. Try out weight lifting. Now imagine you have 150lbs+ to lose. Imagine the modifications you'll need to make to your lifestyle to do that. You're someone who's never exercised or hasn't in years. You've never thought about what you've ate or restricted yourself in the past. There's a good chance your hobbies are extremely sedentary and possibly even specifically revolve around eating/drinking.Iwishyouwell wrote: »Overweight and obese people setting goals that are still pretty high
I'm probably the wrong candidate to quote on this.
I was 320lbs at my highest, have lost over 110lbs, and if I reach my low goal weight my total loss will be 165 lbs, over half my highest body weight.
I don't have to imagine it. I'm living it.
Not to be "that guy," but anything under 160 would be over half of your original body weight.
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Iwishyouwell wrote: »HanamiDango wrote: »I think what most people mean is they want to be healthy and not under weight?
Which is a mind blower since most people are nowhere near in danger of becoming legitimately underweight, especially the fat or formerly fat.
It's NOT easy to become underweight. It just isn't. Yet so many people seem terrified, on the surface at least, of just somehow magically, accidentally dieting down to an underweight skeleton.
It doesn't work that way.
Well if you think about it, you are just speaking about goals, goals change as time passes on. Anyone can make their goal and than make a new goal once the previous one was reached. And we should all continue setting goals and challenges for our self too.
Maybe also the fear of extremes? Going from one extreme to the next one (or being close to the BMI definition of underweight) scares them. But I think most people get to the higher end of the BMI chart they see they can go lower and set a lower goal.
No it is not easy to become underweight let alone a healthy weight. If someone is just starting out, there is no way for them to honestly know what struggles they will face until they face them.
What about the people who freak out on others who want to be at 18.5-20.0 BMI? I see that happening more often than people not changing their goals down to a lower weight once they reach that certain BMI.0 -
Final body weight under 160 would be over half of original body weight.
Total loss of 165 is over half of original body weight.
Po-tay-toh, po-tah-toh. Six of one, half dozen of another.0 -
Well, for me it's that the excess skin will look worse the less I have on me to fill it out. That's no excuse not to shoot for a healthy weight, but if I'm gonna look like I'm melting at 115 anyway, why bother?0
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