Ugh! Husband!

First off, I am sorry he is acting like this towards you. He should be supportive of your choice to get healthy.

At first, it was hard for my fiance. He had to either learn to like the things I was eating or cook himself his own meal. But, after he saw how much better I valued myself and all the confidence I was gaining just by feeling healthier, he tried harder. He would try some of the foods I would eat and I gave myself a cheat day each week so we could have a good (and not so healthy) meal together.
I would say after the first couple of weeks, it got better for me. Maybe you could try sitting your husband down and telling him how his actions are making you feel (using "I feel..." statements). Maybe he honestly doesn't know he's being as bad as he is. You could also try checking into a daycare at your gym. And maybe make a meal that is more of your old norm once or twice a week and then you only eat a little with a salad on the side. Big changes take compromise from both sides, so if he is willing to make some compromises, let him know you are too.

Hi Ashley,

First of all - congratulations on starting mfp and already losing so much! (:

You mentioned that you are a stay-at-home mom. Is there any way you could work out or exercise at home while your husband is at work? I've always hated going to a gym, so I rotate a couple of Jillian Micheal's dvds (Burn Fat,,, and Trouble Spots) and I walk (briskly) around my neighborhood. Your toddler would probably love getting out while you walk!

As far as the food is concerned, try a few things at a time with your husband. Always serve him more than you serve yourself. Find ways to fix the things you like but with a healthier twist. Like whole wheat hamburger buns, brown rice, lower fat milk, less butter, etc. Stress how you want to start eating right so that you'll be healthy as you get older and point out the old people around you that have all sorts of health issues b/c they've not eaten right! (We all know some @:)

You'll need internal motivation! But for external motivation, stick with this site b/c everyone here is so encouraging and probably going through a lot of the same things! Good luck! Valerie

mien is a downer as well. we both were thinner when we first started dating. He's gained 70lbs and i put on about 50 ( due to two pregnancies and not healthy food choices!). Now that Ive finally started losing weight and getting real about this i feel like he's sabotaging me!!!!!!! I had the problem of kids and working out as well! i HAVE FOUR so i know the feeling there, but like the prior post said The YMCA has child care. I was going 5-6x a week that i ended up getting a part time job there! lol,,,,the pay sucks but its worth it since i can bring my kids with me and then be sure to get my work outs in.
As far as the foods.....this is a constant battle here since my hubby is a truck driver he is constantly eating fast foods and when he's home he wants to eat that way as well. He's not a veggie,brown rice, oatmeal, whole grain eater So i usually feed the kids their normal things and tell hubby he can eat with them, or he can eat what I'm eating.
Now typically most people would say " make two meals? that's nuts!" But hey, i cant force my kids to eat clean....it just wouldn't be fair. Of course they get veggies and fruits but i still feed them their mac & cheese and peanut butter with jelly sandwiches:)
I guess over all i can say is i relate to ya. i'll add you as a buddy

There are nights that I cook two meals...his (hubbies) and ours (mine and my son). Its what I have to do to get healthy and lose weight. And as for working out....I get up when he leaves and before our son that way, I get a few minutes of me time. May not work for everyone, but its working for me. Of course, he is actually very supportive of my choices and, even watches the son while I work out on weekends.

Gotta make time for each other, too, if you want to stay married--kids need both parents. I try to avoid becoming overly obsessed with the fitness thing to where other important parts of life suffer. I find exercise I can do at home, and the kids are supportive of that time, or they become involved in the exercise with me, and make it fun.

You should tell him how important being healthier is to YOU. Tell him that his constant complaining about eating healthier foods and you going to the gym are killing your motivation. I mean, as a stay at home mom, you do need some YOU time. It's not like you stay at the gym for ten hours and neglect him all week.

I think in some ways, he's being unreasonable. And if his complaints are bothering you, the only thing you can do is talk to him about it.

As for the food, he doesn't have to eat fruits and vegetables. You can eat healthier foods, whilst he can eat food he enjoys.

I know exactly what you are talking about!! I have 2 children who I really want to teach good eating habits to, because being healthy isn't just about being skinny. But my husband has always been thinner, and doesn't see why he should have to eat the "crappy" foods when he doesn't need to loose weight. As well as the fact that unless I get up @ 4 in the morning to workout I am i inconveniencing someone. I have to say though that after years of this, he is finally starting to come around. He has actually joined MFP, and is trying to make some better choices. My advice to you is stay strong, and set a good example for your children. It's the best you can do. Maybe when he sees how healthy and happy you are becoming it will change his thinking a little. But you can't force him to come around (believe me, I've tried). And the more you try the more it will depress you if he doesn't see your point of view. Just keep working at it because you will be a happier healthier Wife and Mother.

You might find him a little more supportive of your workout if you change your time - say, when he gets home, have dinner, spend an hour or so listen about his day, share yours, give him and you a little time to unwind. THEN go to your workout. As for the food, I've read several good suggestions in this thread. I'm still working on that one.

I have started using whole wheat pastas, pureeing veggies into recipes that they would never suspect, etc. I also will put three carrot sticks or snap peas on his plate and he has learned to chug them and then eat what he likes.