So ladies, what would a short guy have to do to get you to date them?
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No. No they are very much not. Lol.JeffseekingV wrote: »everyone is the same height in bed
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cakebatter07 wrote: »Well I'm 5'7.5" barefoot and I do like to wear heels and wedges. I wouldn't immediately diss a guy because of his height, but being tall is definitely a plus. Personality and having a connection with someone is much more important than something they can't help though.
Good luck OP.
Definitely!0 -
MsHarryWinston wrote: »
No. No they are very much not. Lol.JeffseekingV wrote: »everyone is the same height in bed
That's what she said!0 -
Op, thank you for explaining. I understand a lot better from your explanations (I didn't before). I think it's good that you are looking to understand and learn. And I do understand that this is a challenge for you. And I know this is real. Height can be a real issue for men. And, I don't know how to explain this, but you aren't alone. Lots of people have obstacles and insecurities for many reasons that aren't visible to others (but are a real challenge for them). Most people don't talk about it. But, by talking about it you can make progress getting past it.
When we say confidence we really mean being yourself, being genuine. That really matters a lot. Trust me. There are all kinds of people in this world, with all kinds of obstacles that find a girlfriend.
You seem like a great guy. I hope this thread will be helpful. I hope you will find what you are looking for.
I think it starts with how you feel about yourself. And then finding the right place to meet women. And for yourself to be open to getting to know different women.
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By not being whiny and insecure. Also a dig bick and a big bank account helps. :bigsmile:0
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cakebatter07 wrote: »MsHarryWinston wrote: »
No. No they are very much not. Lol.JeffseekingV wrote: »everyone is the same height in bed
That's what she said!
BAZINGA!
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I have several thoughts but I'm going to keep my message as short as possible.
You complain about your height, but I think your problem lies way deeper than that. I noticed on your profile that you are 39, don't drive, and live at home.
A lot of women could look past a guy who is on the short side, because really for an intellectually mature woman a connection is way more important than height, but most women are not going to be able to look past the fact that you don't drive and live with your dad.
If you have social anxiety, you're going to have to deal with that. I can say that because I also have horrible social anxiety and I had a few of the same problems you do. I lived at home for a long time and had never really had a serious relationship. I chalked it up to the fact that I'm not particularly conventionally attractive and there's not much I can do about that. I can lose weight and style my hair, but I can't change my nose or my big feet or my deep voice. But the thing that I could change was my attitude, so I sucked it up, dealt with the social anxiety, moved out of my parents house for good, got some education, traveled to Europe a bit on my own, etc., and I feel I've come a pretty long way. I still deal day to day with the anxiety, but I also know I can handle myself.
I think it would be really good for you to break out of this shell you've built for yourself. Don't worry so much about the height issue because I don't think that's what's holding you back.
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In correlation, a lot of professional bodybuilders don't exceed 6 feet in height. In fact many of them are under 5'8" and majority about 5'6". Can't build tall so they build out.I'm mostly curious because we short guys usually get short shrift in a lot of things, that's why you have guys with napoleon complexes and short dudes who really are jerks because of their height. (I'm not one of those however, I'm usually pretty personable when around people even though I'm normally too nervous for any social interaction.)
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I have several thoughts but I'm going to keep my message as short as possible.
You complain about your height, but I think your problem lies way deeper than that. I noticed on your profile that you are 39, don't drive, and live at home.
A lot of women could look past a guy who is on the short side, because really for an intellectually mature woman a connection is way more important than height, but most women are not going to be able to look past the fact that you don't drive and live with your dad.
If you have social anxiety, you're going to have to deal with that. I can say that because I also have horrible social anxiety and I had a few of the same problems you do. I lived at home for a long time and had never really had a serious relationship. I chalked it up to the fact that I'm not particularly conventionally attractive and there's not much I can do about that. I can lose weight and style my hair, but I can't change my nose or my big feet or my deep voice. But the thing that I could change was my attitude, so I sucked it up, dealt with the social anxiety, moved out of my parents house for good, got some education, traveled to Europe a bit on my own, etc., and I feel I've come a pretty long way. I still deal day to day with the anxiety, but I also know I can handle myself.
I think it would be really good for you to break out of this shell you've built for yourself. Don't worry so much about the height issue because I don't think that's what's holding you back.
Sorry if it sounded like complaining. I was just replying to someone that said I was making excuses. I was genuinely curious about the question I posed, nothing more than that. I wanted to post that I had social anxiety mostly so that any women who replied didn't think I was trying to use it as way to find potential 'mates' (that sounds bad to me, but you get what I mean). I was just trying to assure everyone that I wasn't really looking to get advice about dating but just was posting for fun.
That's also why I clarified that I don't aspire to date, because I need to fix a whole lot of things about myself before I even think of anything.
You're right I need to get my junk together, but it may or may not happen. Anyway thanks for the advice :-)
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In correlation, a lot of professional bodybuilders don't exceed 6 feet in height. In fact many of them are under 5'8" and majority about 5'6". Can't build tall so they build out.I'm mostly curious because we short guys usually get short shrift in a lot of things, that's why you have guys with napoleon complexes and short dudes who really are jerks because of their height. (I'm not one of those however, I'm usually pretty personable when around people even though I'm normally too nervous for any social interaction.)
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yeah I've heard it's easier or faster for us to get bigger. I would like to do some building, but I'm not going to a gym anytime soon, and I don't have the money, or the space to buy a full weight set.
My Dad and I are talking about getting some dumbbells because I can at least do that, especially when we tend to move quite a bit, it would be easier to move those than an olympic barbell and a power rack0 -
The shortest man i have dated was 5'4". He also weighed less than me at 120 lbs and had a 19 inch waist. He was a fighter in his spare time so his build was something he chose to further his craft. What i found attractive about him was his sparkling smile and his ease to show it. He was a person that was full of joy. He made me happy to be around him, even though he did make me look larger than i wanted to in photos beside him. There are good physical and bad physical qualities to everyone. Make what you like about yourself shine (both physical attributes and non), and that is seen by others no matter who happens to be surrounding you. All others? No. The others that will be the ones that matter? Yep.0
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I am 5'8" and while height is not really a concern of mine, I don't think I have ever dated a girl taller than myself...not opposed to it, just never have0
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So I'm 6' and I've never dated a man taller than me. I've also never dated one heavier than me.
The shortest ex bf I've had was 5'4'' and we dated for years with no issues. I've also got an ex gf who was 5' even, still no issues.
I don't wear heels often because I have tibial torsion and it's hard to walk with heels, but when I do pop them on I'm anywhere from 6'3'' to 6'5'' and my 5'7'' bf couldn't care less, and neither do I.
There are a lot of things I care a lot more about than height, I'm a giant for a woman, so it's never been on my radar.0 -
So I dated this guy who I initially wasn't that attracted to, because he was the short, chubby type. I'm 5'3", he was 5''6", so it wasn't like he was shorter than me, but I still saw him as short right off the bat. My whole life leading up to then I hadn't dated that much, but had mainly been attracted to tall guys - like 5'10" to 6'5".
- Guess what - I've been married to this "short" guy for 2.5 years now, and I love him. Know what attracted me to him and by the end of our first date made me completely disregard his height? He exuded confidence and was funny and charming. He had a great smile and dressed nicely and smelled good. He was just himself - he wasn't a short guy trying to act like a tall guy, he was just a plain freakin awesome human being.
*Disclaimer -Hon, if you read, this, I love you and you're not short. Or chubby. You're freakin hot ;P 0 -
scottacular wrote: »I don't see the point in trying. Unless you're tall, super confident and a bit arrogant and straight forward, women aren't interested and will make you feel as *kitten* as possible about it.
Wow that's not true at all. I hope this was sarcastic. My boyfriend isn't tall, super confident, or arrogant. He's just kind, funny, compassionate and is very my type! He's about 3" taller than me. But there was a guy I kind of liked in the past who was 2" shorter than me. But he was nice, but arrogant and too picky about women's looks so I decided he was too shallow to seriously consider. A little awkward because I ended up working with him.
Also, a good smile goes a long way and is attainable if you don't have one right now. I don't know. I didn't look at any pictures.0 -
sorry never dated a guy shorter than me. just not attracted to them0
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So quick background before I go into the topic in question: I'm 39, and 5'4" straight male, who's never been on a date in his life and probably will never be on one, mainly because of social anxiety, that said.
We've heard about how for the most part women like taller men, it's a fact of life. You may be the exception to the rule. I'm mostly curious. I'm not interested in things that make guys datable because there is tons of info everywhere telling you how you should act and what to do. I'm talking strictly if a short male (shorter than you are) wanted to date you, what would he have to do to get you to look his way? Or if you would even consider a man shorter than you are as dating material.
I'm mostly curious because we short guys usually get short shrift in a lot of things, that's why you have guys with napoleon complexes and short dudes who really are jerks because of their height. (I'm not one of those however, I'm usually pretty personable when around people even though I'm normally too nervous for any social interaction.)
There are a lot of nice and attractive short men. My issue is that I'm 5'9½ and I feel like an Amazon when I am standing near a man that is not at least 5'10 and it gives me a bad complex. I've only ever been able to date men that are my height or taller because of that. It's a mental block thing. My sister is 5'11 and her boyfriend is only 5'7 or 5'8 and they've been together for almost a decade, so a lot of taller women will date shorter guys. I've had FWB relationships with shorter guys, but I've never been in a relationship with one. There have been ones who have caught my eye, but my own issues with my height ruin any chances.0 -
I'm short at 5'10".
Be confident, the horizontal dance card will fill up quick.0 -
I have never dated anyone shorter than me but I have dated a few SMALLER than me. It made me feel huge and fat an just unsexy to be bigger than my boyfriend! When my boyfriend wears jeans the size of my left thigh it really hurts my self esteem! I think height wouldn't be as much an issue as build. I am a stocky, solid build even at my best and thinnest. I would have to have a stocky guy or it wouldn't work. Dating a small, skinny man really messed with my head!0
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The shortest man I dated was 5'4". I'm only an inch shorter than him. His height wasn't an issue for me. We dated casually. What eventually broke us up was that he didn't drive. He was in his mid 20s. He still lived at home too plus he dropped out of college two semesters before he would have graduated. He had no ambition in life even back then. All of those things affected my impression of him. I was looking for someone who not only could drive but had drive. I'm married to a 6 foot tall man. Yes, his height was attractive to me, but I was really taken by his confidence, humor, wit, values and personality. I could spend hours just talking to him about anything or nothing. We've been married for nearly fifteen years. He has that "IT" factor for me. It wasn't entirely his height, but we just clicked in ways I didn't with any other man before him.0
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I'm about 5'5 - 5'6 I've dated tons of women. It's only a problem in your head mate , when it comes to rejection just remember you are fresh out of *kitten* to give. If she doesn't like you move on..NEXT! Plenty of women out there..0
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Not much since I'm only 5'0
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Double post.
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Lol @ MJ Fox -- It does help when women think you're cute in the first place ;-)0
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Mark Wahlburg and Tom Hardy are both 5'8 and Tom Cruise is 5'7 I dont think they have any problems getting a Woman to date them!
A great smile and personality is the most attractive quality no matter what your height!0 -
True for any gender :-)
5'8 and 5'7 are not short by any standard -- at least for guys. I'm 5'4" -- however, like you said smile and personality -- well I only have the smile I was born with, but at least personality is within my control0 -
MsHarryWinston wrote: »He would need to be confident enough to not think of his height as some sort of dating handicap. Confident in general really. So you're short, so what? It shouldn't even cross your mind. That's how you get it done.
^^^^^ Best answer. I'm a shorty. I date a shorty. In my favorite boots I may be taller than him. All he says is , "Dang, I like those boots!"0 -
i'm very happy with my relationship, but if i were on the market, i'd look for someone who:
-has their own identity, their own income, their own hobbies. i'm financially and intellectually independent. so, too, should he be.
-isn't hung up on the idea of being in a relationship. goals and ambitions outside of meeting a girl and living happily ever after are important.
-outlook on life similar to mine. they need to be relatable, and we need to be on the same page.
-a compatible sense of humor. this is so important, and also not something you can force.
-puts effort into his appearance. is aware that i try to look nice for him, and reciprocates.
-is generally okay with himself as a person. we all have flaws and things we don't like about ourselves, but being insecure about them all the time is super unattractive.
notice i didn't mention anything physical. this is because even if i'm initially attracted to someone for their physical features, if they're not right for me, that puts them off the table no matter what. i actually prefer shorter guys (go ahead and call me a liar, but "generally" doesn't mean "everyone ever"), but i still wouldn't date anyone that didn't click with me.
actually, this is reflective of your own sensitivity about your height and probably also doubles as an excuse for you. you have no idea what is going on in the minds of strangers and to guess is only to project your own mentality onto their experience.I tend to think that those women who've dated shorter guys that "didn't work out" had at least something to do with their height even if just slightly psychologically.
stop blaming your problems on something you have no control over. get a sustainable job, move out of your dad's house, and do something satisfying with your life. if you're out there living a great life, you'll find a lady who respects all of that and doesn't give a **** how tall you are.0
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