Picky Eaters?

AliceDark wrote: »

Have you ever taken someone to a restaurant you love (or made them a dish you love) and watched them just push the food around the plate and not eat it? It's really a terrible feeling. Even if they're willing to sit there while you eat, it'll kill the experience for you too.

That's what you're doing to him.

As an adult, you need to learn how to handle some things you maybe don't want to do.

SO MUCH THIS. You do it to him and you actually said you're dreading having a home cooked meal by his mom.

This situation above has happened to me and it does hurt, quite a bit (and I'm not even that sensitive a person. Sure I got over it, but that doesn't mean it didn't suck). The host sits there the whole time thinking "How did I mess it up, did I do something wrong?" and even if the guest decides to say that they "just aren't used to it" or something the host is thinking "oh they hate it but are just trying to say it politely."

Plus it totally sucks that, generally when you make someone food (say you have 2 people over), you've probably splurged a bit on better quality ingredients and spent at least $50-$70 on that meal trying to make it taste great for your guests. Not to mention the time commitment to cook something nicer and with more effort than what you might do for yourself.

And you can't even eat a few bites?

I have some strong dislikes. I only eat egg one way for instance. Perhaps this story will give you a laugh. I was at a sleepover at a friend's place, and she went all out to prepare an amazing breakfast. Her little girl complained that she didn't like poached eggs. I don't either. Before I could say anything, the mother said sternly, "When we have guests we don't complain about the food. We eat whatever is put in front of us!"

Oh, my? What to do? I had this slimy poached egg staring at me on my plate, and a parent's honor at stake. I grabbed the pepper and several slices of buttered toast and I choked that mother down. Tears were streaming down my face, but I did it.

i understand completely about being a picky eater as i have been there, however, in my opinion and experience, it's part of the american culture to try new foods, especially if you're at someone else's house and especially because the US is such a melting pot of a nation, it's almost guaranteed at some point in your life to run into ethnically different cuisines.

isn't it ingrained in a lot of other cultures to try? isn't it a stereotype to people in other countries for americans traveling abroad, to not even TRY the country's native cuisine, and run to the nearest mcdonalds, thus to be seen as arrogant and narrow-minded?

what if he were at your house and your mom cooked an amazing indian dinner and he just only ate bread and rice? i'm in no way an expert on indian culture, but wouldn't that be considered rude if he at least didn't even try?

as insignificant as the picky eating may seem, it seems important to your boyfriend that you attempt to eat new foods--and believe me, insignificant quirks can become very significant over time. what's the harm in trying? i can see from a religious perspective to refuse pork or beef and yeah, that's definitely something he should understand. otherwise, if you try and don't like the food, he can shut his mouth. and like i said before, you might surprise yourself. i'm sure he's a nice guy and all, but his food preferences and family are not going to go away if you keep up the relationship. if you don't want to be forced or guilt into eating bland american foods by an american significant other, then maybe you should consider dating within another culture or your own. relationships are work and compromises have to be made, especially if you're dating outside of your culture; unfortunately they don't work on love and friendship alone.

much luck to you!

malavika413 wrote: »

TheVirgoddess wrote: »

malavika413 wrote: »

TheVirgoddess wrote: »

JoRocka wrote: »

If you expect him to try your food.

You should try his.

and no- dining hall food is never that great- but it's food. It gets the job done.

Yeah, using cafeteria food as a measuring stick is a really terrible idea. It's not a good representation at all.

It's my only point of comparison, we don't eat American food at home. I once had an American thanksgiving at a friends house and could only have pie, everything else (and I did try some of it) wasn't good.

But can't you try to make your own "American" food? So you have more control over the flavor? I guarantee that my mashed potatoes don't taste the same as the mashed potatoes of other posters in this thread. When you make things yourself, you're in control of the flavor. Experiment and play with different flavors so you can figure out what you like.

If you're unwilling to do that, you're missing out. Every type of cuisine has something unique and delicious to offer.

I eat at a college dining hall, and at home I eat what my mother cooks. There's really no getting around that for the next few years.

Really? I'm sorry, but there is a way to get around that for the next few years. You an learn to cook some american food.

I too agree, that if you are not willing to try cooking new dishes yourself, then you are missing out. I eat american food, hispanic food, caribbean food, italian food, indian food, thai food, etc....and I cook all of that food at home as well.

Expand your horizons girl.

Sounds like a deal breaker reading through this....it may be working out now but what about later on. If it bothers him now, it probably always will? And it sounds like it kinda bothers you too or causes you some stress. It's more about someone trying to change someone or control them like others mentions...it's not so much the food thing. I think you're young enough to where you will learn each relationship will teach you want you want in the next until it just seems right.

My food opinion, I think you should try a bite of whatever is offered especially at a family get together or and occasion, so not to offend anyone or hurt their feelings. Age 29 I found out that I now really enjoy things I couldn't even put in my mouth before. But back to the occasion thing....I have a Greek Papa-in-law, an Italian step mom, a Japanese grandmother, a German and Irish pop pop, and had a Norwegian pop pop....all of which would take it to heart if you turned down their food. And many would take offence if you tried to put a store bought sauce on their foods....oh boy lets not go there.

Another deal breaker is if you think the family already doesn't like you, run away! Been there tried that, not worth the stress.

malavika413 wrote: »

JoRocka wrote: »

oh lord- learn to cook for yourself. You say when you'll learn when ti's time.

It's time to learn to cook when you're 7 years old.

Seriously. You're way behind the curve.

I think that's just a cultural difference, to be honest. It's not an objective fact that you should learn to cook at age 7.

What part of India are you from? I have never heard of an Indian culture where you aren't supposed to learn to cook until after you are married. I used to balk at my parents telling me to learn how to cook. Finally my dad said, "one day you're going to move out of this house, and you will get hungry. You need to learn to cook." I had 9 years of living outside my parents' house before I got married. I would have wasted a lot of money if I'd relied on takeout the whole time. Also, the best way to learn to cook your mom's food is to cook with her.

At the end of the day, I think you need to find someone to be with who doesn't care about food. Even if you come to an agreement with a partner where you are each cooking separate meals, it'll blow up if you have kids.