What's your biggest weight loss / fitness pet peeve?
Replies
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On MFP, unexplained acronyms. Confusing to this newbie. Except for MFP. I get what that means.
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I just figured mine out - 5 or 10 minute workouts.0
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TopazCutie wrote: »BIGGEST pet peeve is when people say "cleanses/detox/fasting diets don't work". It really depends on how they are used... they can be incredibly useful at kick-starting weight loss and making old habits die fast & hard. The afterwards you switch to a healthier diet than before and maintain. Obviously the diet is not something to be done for a life time. We know that. However after the detox/cleanse/fast there are changes that occur to your preferences, that DO last a lifetime.
For example, at 163 pounds (my highest weight) I eliminated wheat for like a month or so last year, after reading the book "Wheat Belly". I lost 20 pounds and have kept it off effortlessly. I eat bread now but it just doesn't taste/feel as good or as normal is before. Bagels and Mcdonalds breakfast sandwiches are a treat now, where as before they were a daily thing I ate without thinking.
Now after about a year of maintaining 143ish, I am confident that my weight is STABLE. I'm on to the next "detox/cleanse" -- GREEN SMOOTHIES! I'm only drinking these for the next few days
Well it's just that there's no science backing up the large majority of these detox/cleanses. Basically people selling them are ripping you off. The body cleanses/detoxes on it's own without the need for whatever products they're trying to sell you. They're basically taking advantage of uninformed consumers. Yes, you may lose weight but it's really because you've gone on a very low calorie diet plus lost a bunch of water. You could achieve the same thing by eating a VLCD of real food (not that I'm advocating for that either).
People pushing cleanses/detox diets or any unnesessary products as the solution to weight loss/detoxing is one of my pet peeves0 -
People trying to gather as many active friends on MFP and then trying to sell them workout and/or shakeology products. I had to block a friend on here for that and reported it too- just annoying.
People who complain incessantly that they are "fat" and then don't change the way they eat and/or proclaim that they can exercise off weight and not change their diet (which you technically can if you exercise hard and long enough, but isn't it much easier/faster to pair it with eating at a deficit and logging what you eat?).
Don't get me started with loose vs. lose - I got flagged for making a comment about that once (jokingly) and then the thread was closed after it turned into an argument (without me) about how for some people English may be their second language, or maybe they were in a hurry, or maybe this or that. Still - lose vs. loose - it's not that hard, and if English was my second language or if I had a learning disability, etc., I would want someone to point out the difference so I wouldn't keep making the same mistake, but that's just me.0 -
17 pages in and I'm kind of surprised that Beachbody "coaches", Herbalife, It (doesn't) Works!, and Body by Vi distributors are just now being mentioned.0
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People who pay attention to what I'm eating, how much and how much I weigh - other than my own mother.
Seriously? Why would it ever cross your mind to keep tabs on what I'm eating? I couldn't tell you what you ate last time we saw each other to save my life, but now that I've lost some weight I'm all of a sudden getting 'too skinny?' Or you want to know why I'm not eating more of this or that? Freaking really? Uugh!
Yeah, major pet peeve of mine. I honestly don't know how people find the time - or have the interest to literally keep tabs on the food habits of others. These are the people, in my opinion, who will snoop through every drawer in your house looking for anything they deem interesting (diary, etc...) when you ask them to house sit for a weekend.
Really? Just, really? Just stop already!
OK - </rant>
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People who go into threads and answer questions other than the one actually asked.0
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obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them. IM the worst, because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!that the thing though. you should. i mean if you are talking to someone, you hould consider how your words would affect them. i mean if you give a crap about them. i am not saying you should care about everyone in the universe all the time. but if you are talking to someone, and something you are saying would be indirectly insulting, even if you are directing it to yourself... you should think about them.
my original post was about my mom, who gained a lot of weight suddenly, and now she looks like i looked most of the last say 15 years... she repeatedly tells me she is hideous and horrible, and all i can think is... you have seen me my whole life, i looked almost exactly like you. how can you stand here and tell me you are hideous, and not realize you are telling me that i looked hideous for years.
but it is exactly what you are saying. "i dont even think about them" and "distracted by my own imperfections" and i dont think this has nothing to do with me, if i am part of the conversation. it is a pet peeve of mine that people are careless with their words when putting themsleves down. people SHOULD think of who they are talking to before they open their mouths, otherwise they are not talking to you at all, just bouncing their words off someone whos feelings dont matter.
the funny thing is... over thanksgiving i finally got tired of it and told her how i felt when she said things like that... and she said "but i always thought your were beautiful even when you were bigger" and i said then why cant you feel that about yourself?
its all very complicated though..with moms...
you know what - you are 100 percent right.
those of us that are not overweight, even if we see ourselves as horribly ugly monsters in our own minds long after we lost the weight, have absolutely no right to lean on our friends and family unless they are smaller than us.
If we need to lose less weight than the person we are speaking with, we can't vent about frustration with our own bodies or our own hang-ups.
If we are struggling with self-worth and self-consciousness, we should ONLY find someone skinny and/or fit to complain to.
Because unless we are very overweight, any of our own personal issues are nothing more than a creative way to go about finding new means of insulting the people we love who weigh more than us. It doesn't matter if we are sisters or best friends. Sisters and Best Friends are -N O T- the people we should lean on when we are frustrated or depressed. Only look for fit people.
AND if we are ever in a situation where a beloved family member or friend who is smaller than we are, starts talking about how they feel they are fat or hideous - we should remember that this is actually a comment about our body and not theirs. What they are saying, in all actuality, is that we are even worse than them.
Did I get it right?
If im smaller than my friends, I don't get to talk about my health and fitness? Cool.
I wouldn't necessarily complain about my weight to someone smaller than me either, since I have no idea what body issues they might have. I wouldn't want to put someone in the position where they have to listen to me *kitten* and moan and feel like they can't share and express their own feelings about their body just because they are smaller. Personally, I try not to complain to people about my body at all (except to my mum or therapist :P).0 -
lemonlionheart wrote: »obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them. IM the worst, because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!that the thing though. you should. i mean if you are talking to someone, you hould consider how your words would affect them. i mean if you give a crap about them. i am not saying you should care about everyone in the universe all the time. but if you are talking to someone, and something you are saying would be indirectly insulting, even if you are directing it to yourself... you should think about them.
my original post was about my mom, who gained a lot of weight suddenly, and now she looks like i looked most of the last say 15 years... she repeatedly tells me she is hideous and horrible, and all i can think is... you have seen me my whole life, i looked almost exactly like you. how can you stand here and tell me you are hideous, and not realize you are telling me that i looked hideous for years.
but it is exactly what you are saying. "i dont even think about them" and "distracted by my own imperfections" and i dont think this has nothing to do with me, if i am part of the conversation. it is a pet peeve of mine that people are careless with their words when putting themsleves down. people SHOULD think of who they are talking to before they open their mouths, otherwise they are not talking to you at all, just bouncing their words off someone whos feelings dont matter.
the funny thing is... over thanksgiving i finally got tired of it and told her how i felt when she said things like that... and she said "but i always thought your were beautiful even when you were bigger" and i said then why cant you feel that about yourself?
its all very complicated though..with moms...
you know what - you are 100 percent right.
those of us that are not overweight, even if we see ourselves as horribly ugly monsters in our own minds long after we lost the weight, have absolutely no right to lean on our friends and family unless they are smaller than us.
If we need to lose less weight than the person we are speaking with, we can't vent about frustration with our own bodies or our own hang-ups.
If we are struggling with self-worth and self-consciousness, we should ONLY find someone skinny and/or fit to complain to.
Because unless we are very overweight, any of our own personal issues are nothing more than a creative way to go about finding new means of insulting the people we love who weigh more than us. It doesn't matter if we are sisters or best friends. Sisters and Best Friends are -N O T- the people we should lean on when we are frustrated or depressed. Only look for fit people.
AND if we are ever in a situation where a beloved family member or friend who is smaller than we are, starts talking about how they feel they are fat or hideous - we should remember that this is actually a comment about our body and not theirs. What they are saying, in all actuality, is that we are even worse than them.
Did I get it right?
If im smaller than my friends, I don't get to talk about my health and fitness? Cool.
I wouldn't necessarily complain about my weight to someone smaller than me either, since I have no idea what body issues they might have. I wouldn't want to put someone in the position where they have to listen to me *kitten* and moan and feel like they can't share and express their own feelings about their body just because they are smaller. Personally, I try not to complain to people about my body at all (except to my mum or therapist :P).
This. For me it has nothing to do with whether they are bigger or thinner, but being conscious of how it can make me (and thus other people) feel made me realize it was a rude and selfish thing to do, because not considerate of how the other person might take it. It was a good reminder not to do something that I think is generally bad for people (especially the one doing it) and negative in general.
Also, having done it myself to an embarrassing extent as younger person (since hating yourself can often be a justification for being really self focused), I can be honest that was crappy and that it is too often used as an excuse for just being thoughtless of others and for wallowing in a way that isn't really seeking support or talking about it in a way that will help. Often the other person might as well not be there for all they matter when someone is in that mood.0 -
obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them. IM the worst, because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!that the thing though. you should. i mean if you are talking to someone, you hould consider how your words would affect them. i mean if you give a crap about them. i am not saying you should care about everyone in the universe all the time. but if you are talking to someone, and something you are saying would be indirectly insulting, even if you are directing it to yourself... you should think about them.
my original post was about my mom, who gained a lot of weight suddenly, and now she looks like i looked most of the last say 15 years... she repeatedly tells me she is hideous and horrible, and all i can think is... you have seen me my whole life, i looked almost exactly like you. how can you stand here and tell me you are hideous, and not realize you are telling me that i looked hideous for years.
but it is exactly what you are saying. "i dont even think about them" and "distracted by my own imperfections" and i dont think this has nothing to do with me, if i am part of the conversation. it is a pet peeve of mine that people are careless with their words when putting themsleves down. people SHOULD think of who they are talking to before they open their mouths, otherwise they are not talking to you at all, just bouncing their words off someone whos feelings dont matter.
the funny thing is... over thanksgiving i finally got tired of it and told her how i felt when she said things like that... and she said "but i always thought your were beautiful even when you were bigger" and i said then why cant you feel that about yourself?
its all very complicated though..with moms...
you know what - you are 100 percent right.
those of us that are not overweight, even if we see ourselves as horribly ugly monsters in our own minds long after we lost the weight, have absolutely no right to lean on our friends and family unless they are smaller than us.
If we need to lose less weight than the person we are speaking with, we can't vent about frustration with our own bodies or our own hang-ups.
If we are struggling with self-worth and self-consciousness, we should ONLY find someone skinny and/or fit to complain to.
Because unless we are very overweight, any of our own personal issues are nothing more than a creative way to go about finding new means of insulting the people we love who weigh more than us. It doesn't matter if we are sisters or best friends. Sisters and Best Friends are -N O T- the people we should lean on when we are frustrated or depressed. Only look for fit people.
AND if we are ever in a situation where a beloved family member or friend who is smaller than we are, starts talking about how they feel they are fat or hideous - we should remember that this is actually a comment about our body and not theirs. What they are saying, in all actuality, is that we are even worse than them.
Did I get it right?
If im smaller than my friends, I don't get to talk about my health and fitness? Cool.
nope. you didnt get it right.
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fattymcrunnerpants wrote: »people thinking they know better for my body than I do (outside of my medical team)
Thinking chronic illness/ pain is an excuse
Oh and the "that's impossible" crew who truly believe that they are 100% right 100% of the time
I like the chronic illness/pain excuse. Sometimes the weight issues are causing the chronice issues
. And for the pain issue, weight usually helps it out too.
sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. Depends on the medical issue. Personally my chronic pain has nothing to do with my weight and although it was suggested by my PT that losing weight would help so far I see no difference.
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LadyAbsynthe wrote: »fattymcrunnerpants wrote: »people thinking they know better for my body than I do (outside of my medical team)
Thinking chronic illness/ pain is an excuse
Um. Chronic illness isn't an excuse not to exercise, it's a reason. Not all of them are caused by being overweight, few of them can be solved with exercise/diet, and many are exacerbated by forcing yourself to move. I think it's natural to become less fit if you're stuck in bed all day every day, and anyone in that situation can't be blamed.
Exactly my point. I hate when people tell me "Oh, you're just making excuses!" Yeah... no. When you hurt like hell the last thing you want to do, typically, is do something that's going to make it feel worse after the exercise high is over. Curling up on my bed in a fetal position at the end of the day isn't a great way to go to sleep.0 -
I've learned to say "I'm watching my nutrition" or "I'm sticking to my meal plan", because if I say "I'm watching my diet" people say "you don't (look like you) need to be on a diet". I just want to say "I didn't say I was ON a diet!" Just because I don't have 50 or 100 lbs to lose doesn't mean that I don't want to watch my fitness and STAY WITHIN a healthy range.
Diabetes runs rampant in my family, I don't want to go there.0 -
obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them. IM the worst, because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!that the thing though. you should. i mean if you are talking to someone, you hould consider how your words would affect them. i mean if you give a crap about them. i am not saying you should care about everyone in the universe all the time. but if you are talking to someone, and something you are saying would be indirectly insulting, even if you are directing it to yourself... you should think about them.
my original post was about my mom, who gained a lot of weight suddenly, and now she looks like i looked most of the last say 15 years... she repeatedly tells me she is hideous and horrible, and all i can think is... you have seen me my whole life, i looked almost exactly like you. how can you stand here and tell me you are hideous, and not realize you are telling me that i looked hideous for years.
but it is exactly what you are saying. "i dont even think about them" and "distracted by my own imperfections" and i dont think this has nothing to do with me, if i am part of the conversation. it is a pet peeve of mine that people are careless with their words when putting themsleves down. people SHOULD think of who they are talking to before they open their mouths, otherwise they are not talking to you at all, just bouncing their words off someone whos feelings dont matter.
the funny thing is... over thanksgiving i finally got tired of it and told her how i felt when she said things like that... and she said "but i always thought your were beautiful even when you were bigger" and i said then why cant you feel that about yourself?
its all very complicated though..with moms...
you know what - you are 100 percent right.
those of us that are not overweight, even if we see ourselves as horribly ugly monsters in our own minds long after we lost the weight, have absolutely no right to lean on our friends and family unless they are smaller than us.
If we need to lose less weight than the person we are speaking with, we can't vent about frustration with our own bodies or our own hang-ups.
If we are struggling with self-worth and self-consciousness, we should ONLY find someone skinny and/or fit to complain to.
Because unless we are very overweight, any of our own personal issues are nothing more than a creative way to go about finding new means of insulting the people we love who weigh more than us. It doesn't matter if we are sisters or best friends. Sisters and Best Friends are -N O T- the people we should lean on when we are frustrated or depressed. Only look for fit people.
AND if we are ever in a situation where a beloved family member or friend who is smaller than we are, starts talking about how they feel they are fat or hideous - we should remember that this is actually a comment about our body and not theirs. What they are saying, in all actuality, is that we are even worse than them.
Did I get it right?
If im smaller than my friends, I don't get to talk about my health and fitness? Cool.
Okay, I think it depends how and to whom you talk about it. The normative "fat talk" as in "Does my butt look fat in this?" "I'm so gross", etc., not cool, not good for any one, and yes, hard to listen to when you have a significant weight problem.
If you truly struggle with your body image and want support from someone close, that's a different story. Reach out, but be mindful of the other person. Something like, "I'd really like some help because I am really struggling with negative thoughts about my body"
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dramaqueen45 wrote: »People trying to gather as many active friends on MFP and then trying to sell them workout and/or shakeology products. I had to block a friend on here for that and reported it too- just annoying.
People who complain incessantly that they are "fat" and then don't change the way they eat and/or proclaim that they can exercise off weight and not change their diet (which you technically can if you exercise hard and long enough, but isn't it much easier/faster to pair it with eating at a deficit and logging what you eat?).
Don't get me started with loose vs. lose - I got flagged for making a comment about that once (jokingly) and then the thread was closed after it turned into an argument (without me) about how for some people English may be their second language, or maybe they were in a hurry, or maybe this or that. Still - lose vs. loose - it's not that hard, and if English was my second language or if I had a learning disability, etc., I would want someone to point out the difference so I wouldn't keep making the same mistake, but that's just me.
Haha! English is my second language and though I have a very decent level in it, that is one mistake that always wants to slip in. I am not sure why, but I've caught myself a couple times typing "loose" and then having to go back and correct it. If it was to slip in, I'd actually be happy if someone pointed it out and corrected it.
My biggest pet peeve – not necessarily diet, but weight-related – is people insinuating you should lose weight, but never telling it out loud because it's rude. Particularly annoying when you know you are still in a healthy BMI range.0 -
dramaqueen45 wrote: »People who complain incessantly that they are "fat" and then don't change the way they eat and/or proclaim that they can exercise off weight and not change their diet (which you technically can if you exercise hard and long enough, but isn't it much easier/faster to pair it with eating at a deficit and logging what you eat?).
This!! Especially when you offer advice or things to try and they tell you "it's too hard". Well then you don't really want to lose the weight, now do you?
Also people who aren't fat calling themselves fat just for the compliments they'll undoubtedly receive (my bf is really bad for this one).
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ShrinkingMuslimah wrote: »Oh and people who offer me an apple or piece of apple, then make some comment of "I thought you were trying to lose weight, this is a healthy snack" when I say "no thanks", then when I explain that I'm allergic to many fruits including apples, they go on about how it's "impossible" to be allergic to fruit. I have been tested, and certain fruits put me into full blown anaphylaxis and I have to carry an epi pen with me everywhere because of it. I'm also allergic to nuts, but that is a more widely accepted allergy which people tend not to argue with me about.
Agreed... my sister is allergic to blueberries and she often gets people telling her that a couple in fruit salad wont hurt her because it's fruit... I also get this with skin products, there's this "All Natural" skin care company that always has stalls set up hassling people in shopping centres. I tried one of their testers once and my skins swelled up and broke out in a massive rash. The next time the were trying to force their products on me I explained "no sorry, I'm allergic" and they replied with "but it's all natural, you can't be allergic"
*Face Palm*
But in regard to Pet Peeves...
One that has come up recently due to a certain person at my gym: The excessively loud moaning when doing weights... yeah I appreciate some people grunt here and there but this guy sounds like he is being brutally murdered and come on man, you are doing some push ups right now, what the hell!
Personal Space Invaders... when the gym is packed I get it... but when the place is practically empty I just don't think you need to start stretching your back out on the same pole I'm using or set a mat up so we're almost touching to do your abs when there is plenty of floor space.
I also get a bit frustrated by a few friends who ask for my help to get them started with exercise, I put in my time finding out what they want and plan some workouts for them. They seem so super keen but when it comes to actually having me come over and do the workouts with them they always have an excuse why they can't.
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What annoys me a lot is the fact that I didn't enjoy being thin when I was younger. I always thought I had this or that flaw back then.
When I gained quite a lot of weight a few years ago, I realized how silly I had been to focus on these supposed flaws I thought I had.
If and when I manage to get to my goal weight, I will definitely focus on the positive!0 -
I get annoyed when people post "help, I'm not losing/gaining weight" and some people start saying "don't worry it's not fat it's probably muscle." The asking for help portion doesn't bother me in the slightest, but people telling them they are gaining muscle irks me b/c it is most likely untrue.
That bugs me because I feel like it's setting people up for failure. They need to look at a number of other things, like has your sodium level increased, have you been doing a particularly strenuous workout, are you logging properly, etc.0 -
heh, truth.
ROFL this is basically MFP in a nutshell. Ask any question, the answer is "I eat <xyz food> every day".
Question: It's so hard giving up sweets, especially ice cream. Anyone have any helpful strategies?
Answer: I eat ice cream every day!
Question: I'm having a really hard time eliminating red meat. Anything out there that tastes close to a cheeseburger?
Answer: I have cheeseburgers all the time!
Question: I just started limiting to 1200 calories a day. I'm hungry all the time. How do people do this?
Answer: I can eat 1600 calories and still lose weight!
I think some of that can be helpful, because a lot of goobs are all, ermagerds! I hafta cut out all meat until I lose 79 pounds!
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Oh here's one.
I can't work out, it's so cold out!
Go eat a pie crybaby.0 -
scuba6randy wrote: »I've learned to say "I'm watching my nutrition" or "I'm sticking to my meal plan", because if I say "I'm watching my diet" people say "you don't (look like you) need to be on a diet". I just want to say "I didn't say I was ON a diet!" Just because I don't have 50 or 100 lbs to lose doesn't mean that I don't want to watch my fitness and STAY WITHIN a healthy range.
Diabetes runs rampant in my family, I don't want to go there.
If someone is really bugging me to try something or to keep what they brought over, my husband will intervene and tell them that I am "working at eating more responsibly."
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I didn't read every post. I know a few have mentioned people writing loose instead of lose. That is annoying to me too. Along the same lines, using using weight instead of weigh. You don't weight yourself when you step on the scale. You weigh yourself. You weigh your food. Weight is how heavy you are, not the action of weighing yourself. To use weight as a verb you would be saying that you are adding heavy things to your body like "I weight myself down so I don't float". Weigh is the verb you want to use when you say "I weigh myself" or "I weighed myself" and you mean that you stood on a scale.
Other than that-
Cheat days
Food is evil.
I can't control myself.
I don't have time to cook, eat, exercise.
Not giving enough information when asking questions and getting annoyed at suggestions that won't work because xyz.
Getting solid advice and ignoring it time and again because it isn't what they want to hear.
I want to lose weight in this specific body part only.
I want to lose a clothing size in a couple of weeks.0 -
This thread is so long that I know this has to be in here somewhere, but people at the gym who use equipment and don't clean it off really tick me off. There are signs that say , "PLEASE WIPE DOWN EQUIPMENT AFTER USING!" I watch them sweat all over it and then walk away. I've said something a couple of times but usually I just grab a paper towel and spray bottle and clean it off.
It's just.... eeewwww.0 -
girlviernes wrote: »obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them. IM the worst, because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!that the thing though. you should. i mean if you are talking to someone, you hould consider how your words would affect them. i mean if you give a crap about them. i am not saying you should care about everyone in the universe all the time. but if you are talking to someone, and something you are saying would be indirectly insulting, even if you are directing it to yourself... you should think about them.
my original post was about my mom, who gained a lot of weight suddenly, and now she looks like i looked most of the last say 15 years... she repeatedly tells me she is hideous and horrible, and all i can think is... you have seen me my whole life, i looked almost exactly like you. how can you stand here and tell me you are hideous, and not realize you are telling me that i looked hideous for years.
but it is exactly what you are saying. "i dont even think about them" and "distracted by my own imperfections" and i dont think this has nothing to do with me, if i am part of the conversation. it is a pet peeve of mine that people are careless with their words when putting themsleves down. people SHOULD think of who they are talking to before they open their mouths, otherwise they are not talking to you at all, just bouncing their words off someone whos feelings dont matter.
the funny thing is... over thanksgiving i finally got tired of it and told her how i felt when she said things like that... and she said "but i always thought your were beautiful even when you were bigger" and i said then why cant you feel that about yourself?
its all very complicated though..with moms...
you know what - you are 100 percent right.
those of us that are not overweight, even if we see ourselves as horribly ugly monsters in our own minds long after we lost the weight, have absolutely no right to lean on our friends and family unless they are smaller than us.
If we need to lose less weight than the person we are speaking with, we can't vent about frustration with our own bodies or our own hang-ups.
If we are struggling with self-worth and self-consciousness, we should ONLY find someone skinny and/or fit to complain to.
Because unless we are very overweight, any of our own personal issues are nothing more than a creative way to go about finding new means of insulting the people we love who weigh more than us. It doesn't matter if we are sisters or best friends. Sisters and Best Friends are -N O T- the people we should lean on when we are frustrated or depressed. Only look for fit people.
AND if we are ever in a situation where a beloved family member or friend who is smaller than we are, starts talking about how they feel they are fat or hideous - we should remember that this is actually a comment about our body and not theirs. What they are saying, in all actuality, is that we are even worse than them.
Did I get it right?
If im smaller than my friends, I don't get to talk about my health and fitness? Cool.
Okay, I think it depends how and to whom you talk about it. The normative "fat talk" as in "Does my butt look fat in this?" "I'm so gross", etc., not cool, not good for any one, and yes, hard to listen to when you have a significant weight problem.
If you truly struggle with your body image and want support from someone close, that's a different story. Reach out, but be mindful of the other person. Something like, "I'd really like some help because I am really struggling with negative thoughts about my body"
this is what I was talking about. I was saying how, when Im alone at the beach, Im not judging anyone because all I can see is how awful I look and I don't think ANYONE looks worse - and I was told that those thoughts in my head are inconsiderate to the people around me, because how I look at myself, even when not comparing to them, is inconsiderate and means I dont give a crap about other people.0 -
-
JadeRabbit08 wrote: »
I missed the 'Ask-holes' post but omg I love that term. haha0 -
girlviernes wrote: »obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them. IM the worst, because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!that the thing though. you should. i mean if you are talking to someone, you hould consider how your words would affect them. i mean if you give a crap about them. i am not saying you should care about everyone in the universe all the time. but if you are talking to someone, and something you are saying would be indirectly insulting, even if you are directing it to yourself... you should think about them.
my original post was about my mom, who gained a lot of weight suddenly, and now she looks like i looked most of the last say 15 years... she repeatedly tells me she is hideous and horrible, and all i can think is... you have seen me my whole life, i looked almost exactly like you. how can you stand here and tell me you are hideous, and not realize you are telling me that i looked hideous for years.
but it is exactly what you are saying. "i dont even think about them" and "distracted by my own imperfections" and i dont think this has nothing to do with me, if i am part of the conversation. it is a pet peeve of mine that people are careless with their words when putting themsleves down. people SHOULD think of who they are talking to before they open their mouths, otherwise they are not talking to you at all, just bouncing their words off someone whos feelings dont matter.
the funny thing is... over thanksgiving i finally got tired of it and told her how i felt when she said things like that... and she said "but i always thought your were beautiful even when you were bigger" and i said then why cant you feel that about yourself?
its all very complicated though..with moms...
you know what - you are 100 percent right.
those of us that are not overweight, even if we see ourselves as horribly ugly monsters in our own minds long after we lost the weight, have absolutely no right to lean on our friends and family unless they are smaller than us.
If we need to lose less weight than the person we are speaking with, we can't vent about frustration with our own bodies or our own hang-ups.
If we are struggling with self-worth and self-consciousness, we should ONLY find someone skinny and/or fit to complain to.
Because unless we are very overweight, any of our own personal issues are nothing more than a creative way to go about finding new means of insulting the people we love who weigh more than us. It doesn't matter if we are sisters or best friends. Sisters and Best Friends are -N O T- the people we should lean on when we are frustrated or depressed. Only look for fit people.
AND if we are ever in a situation where a beloved family member or friend who is smaller than we are, starts talking about how they feel they are fat or hideous - we should remember that this is actually a comment about our body and not theirs. What they are saying, in all actuality, is that we are even worse than them.
Did I get it right?
If im smaller than my friends, I don't get to talk about my health and fitness? Cool.
Okay, I think it depends how and to whom you talk about it. The normative "fat talk" as in "Does my butt look fat in this?" "I'm so gross", etc., not cool, not good for any one, and yes, hard to listen to when you have a significant weight problem.
If you truly struggle with your body image and want support from someone close, that's a different story. Reach out, but be mindful of the other person. Something like, "I'd really like some help because I am really struggling with negative thoughts about my body"
this is what I was talking about. I was saying how, when Im alone at the beach, Im not judging anyone because all I can see is how awful I look and I don't think ANYONE looks worse - and I was told that those thoughts in my head are inconsiderate to the people around me, because how I look at myself, even when not comparing to them, is inconsiderate and means I dont give a crap about other people.
Yoovie, I understand that body issues are serious and talk a lot of work to conquer, so I'm not minimizing how you feel about yourself at all, but I just wanted to mention two things:
1] your attitude is great! You participate actively here and you have made huge changes for yourself and have obtained much success already.
2] your profile pic is gorgeous and it looks like you don't even have any make-up on.
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