"You can have just one!"
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lemurcat12 wrote: »It used to bug me when people would ask "how did you lose the weight"--I'd typically say "the usual, exercise, eat less," but increasingly I'm realizing that the people who are pushiest about this question usually are interested in losing too, which has made me more tolerant and willing to talk about it in more detail.
I am happy to help people with this and answer truthfully, but when it annoyed me was when I would say I exercise more and eat less and they would completely lose interest. They were generally hoping that I would give them some answer that was a magic pill.
Mostly, I don't worry about any of it. I've been at this for over 5 years and it's my life.
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Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.0
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TimothyFish wrote: »Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.
There's a difference between going to someone's house when you know they're preparing a meal for you and being assaulted with chocolate chip cookies and brownies at your work desk. (assaulting being a little over-dramatic, but you get my point)
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therealklane wrote: »"Damn, girl. How much did you weigh before?"
Bwahahah....yeah, this always gets me too!0 -
TimothyFish wrote: »Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.
See that's not really the issue for me. I eat what is prepared, just at reasonable portion sizes. Food pushers (like my MIL) aren't happy unless you are eating a mountain sized plate of what's prepared.0 -
JoanaMHill wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.
There's a difference between going to someone's house when you know they're preparing a meal for you and being assaulted with chocolate chip cookies and brownies at your work desk. (assaulting being a little over-dramatic, but you get my point)
This. I eat what is prepared for me.0 -
For a lot of people food = love. If you reject their food, they take it personally.0
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My MIL and FIL saying "You look great! I am so happy for you! But, keep going. You still have a way to go." Ha Ha.0
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Frankly, the majority of these seem innocuous and well-intentioned. Are people required to ignore your weight loss? Is it really that hard to say, "I can, but I'd rather not" when someone urges you to try just one cookie?0
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sheldonklein wrote: »Frankly, the majority of these seem innocuous and well-intentioned. Are people required to ignore your weight loss? Is it really that hard to say, "I can, but I'd rather not" when someone urges you to try just one cookie?
It's not saying it that's hard (for most people) it's getting the person with the food to accept it. We live in a culture where politeness is expected, and accepting offered gifts (food counts) is considered polite. Politely saying no is still seen as a snub (and taken personally) even if it's just that they want to save those calories for something they were expecting to enjoy later.0 -
JoanaMHill wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.
There's a difference between going to someone's house when you know they're preparing a meal for you and being assaulted with chocolate chip cookies and brownies at your work desk. (assaulting being a little over-dramatic, but you get my point)
Not really. We know people are going to do that at work or we wouldn't be complaining about it. Most of us have a meal we eat after work, so all we really need to do is eat less during that meal or even skip it on days food is offered to us at work.0 -
TimothyFish wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.
There's a difference between going to someone's house when you know they're preparing a meal for you and being assaulted with chocolate chip cookies and brownies at your work desk. (assaulting being a little over-dramatic, but you get my point)
Not really. We know people are going to do that at work or we wouldn't be complaining about it. Most of us have a meal we eat after work, so all we really need to do is eat less during that meal or even skip it on days food is offered to us at work.
There is absolutely no reason we should have to eat something just because people tell us to. And there is absolutely no reason we should have to eat less of something we actually want in order to enjoy it. If the people mentioning these instances actually wanted the treat, they'd eat it. But they don't. And that's the problem.0 -
TimothyFish wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.
There's a difference between going to someone's house when you know they're preparing a meal for you and being assaulted with chocolate chip cookies and brownies at your work desk. (assaulting being a little over-dramatic, but you get my point)
Not really. We know people are going to do that at work or we wouldn't be complaining about it. Most of us have a meal we eat after work, so all we really need to do is eat less during that meal or even skip it on days food is offered to us at work.
Are you seriously suggesting that I should eat a brownie and then skip supper so that I don't offend someone's delicate sensibilities?0 -
JoanaMHill wrote: »sheldonklein wrote: »Frankly, the majority of these seem innocuous and well-intentioned. Are people required to ignore your weight loss? Is it really that hard to say, "I can, but I'd rather not" when someone urges you to try just one cookie?
It's not saying it that's hard (for most people) it's getting the person with the food to accept it. We live in a culture where politeness is expected, and accepting offered gifts (food counts) is considered polite. Politely saying no is still seen as a snub (and taken personally) even if it's just that they want to save those calories for something they were expecting to enjoy later.
So the offeror must refrain from the polite thing of offering food because a dieter might be forced to say no thank you?
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dont lose anymore weight!!! dont go lower than that, you will blow in the wind, look at you your too skinny already,when you get up in age you'll realize how much time you wasted in life counting calories and exerciseing, you dont need to workout! your already skinny0
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sheldonklein wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »sheldonklein wrote: »Frankly, the majority of these seem innocuous and well-intentioned. Are people required to ignore your weight loss? Is it really that hard to say, "I can, but I'd rather not" when someone urges you to try just one cookie?
It's not saying it that's hard (for most people) it's getting the person with the food to accept it. We live in a culture where politeness is expected, and accepting offered gifts (food counts) is considered polite. Politely saying no is still seen as a snub (and taken personally) even if it's just that they want to save those calories for something they were expecting to enjoy later.
So the offeror must refrain from the polite thing of offering food because a dieter might be forced to say no thank you?
You're not getting it. Of course they can offer food, and we can politely say no-but we are talking about people who don't take your polite no as an answer and push the food on you anyway. I think you missed something. We are talking about food pushers.0 -
"i thought you were on a diet, what's with the _____?"
math. that is what's with the _____. now mind your own damn business.0 -
sheldonklein wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »sheldonklein wrote: »Frankly, the majority of these seem innocuous and well-intentioned. Are people required to ignore your weight loss? Is it really that hard to say, "I can, but I'd rather not" when someone urges you to try just one cookie?
It's not saying it that's hard (for most people) it's getting the person with the food to accept it. We live in a culture where politeness is expected, and accepting offered gifts (food counts) is considered polite. Politely saying no is still seen as a snub (and taken personally) even if it's just that they want to save those calories for something they were expecting to enjoy later.
So the offeror must refrain from the polite thing of offering food because a dieter might be forced to say no thank you?
That's not what was said.
They said that the offeror can offer, but should accept an answer of "no, thank you".
The whole point of the phrase "no, thank you" is to politely decline an offer. But people seem to get offended by that simple phrase for no reason.
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arditarose wrote: »sheldonklein wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »sheldonklein wrote: »Frankly, the majority of these seem innocuous and well-intentioned. Are people required to ignore your weight loss? Is it really that hard to say, "I can, but I'd rather not" when someone urges you to try just one cookie?
It's not saying it that's hard (for most people) it's getting the person with the food to accept it. We live in a culture where politeness is expected, and accepting offered gifts (food counts) is considered polite. Politely saying no is still seen as a snub (and taken personally) even if it's just that they want to save those calories for something they were expecting to enjoy later.
So the offeror must refrain from the polite thing of offering food because a dieter might be forced to say no thank you?
You're not getting it. Of course they can offer food, and we can politely say no-but we are talking about people who don't take your polite no as an answer and push the food on you anyway. I think you missed something. We are talking about food pushers.
This. They can offer, but the minute someone says no, they need to move on, not say "One won't hurt!" or get righteously indignant like we just insulted their mother.0 -
2snakeswoman wrote: »"You're losing your womanly curves."
This, especially when they're talking about the breasts, because they don't realize that half of what I had before was just fat around the boobs, which I am much happier without.
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What I get a lot is "it's only once a year" or "one day out of the week won't hurt".
My favorites, though, are "oh I need to go on a diet/I need to lose weight" while they stuff their face with 2500 calories worth of food in one sitting.0 -
I'm a long-distance endurance runner, and carefully watch what I eat. I'm not "Naturally skinny" but I tend to stay slim due to my diet and running. I work hard at being healthy and in shape for my sport so I can hit my peak performance during races....
So... biggest pet peeve when someone sees me eating and snacking (which during heavy training weeks can be a lot)...
"Man I wish I could eat whatever I want and stay as skinny as you..."
"Oh, you're lucky, you're just naturally skinny, if I ate that, I'd be fat..."
"Why don't you want this [insert office dessert]? You're skinny, you can have it"
I do NOT eat whatever I want, hence why I have an account on here! And no... not naturally skinny, I work incredibly hard
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InnocentLunatic wrote: »2snakeswoman wrote: »"You're losing your womanly curves."
This, especially when they're talking about the breasts, because they don't realize that half of what I had before was just fat around the boobs, which I am much happier without.
I get this about my butt. People are used to my 29 inch waist and 44 inch hips. That is unnecessary.0 -
richardositosanchez wrote: »What I get a lot is "it's only once a year" or "one day out of the week won't hurt".
My favorites, though, are "oh I need to go on a diet/I need to lose weight" while they stuff their face with 2500 calories worth of food in one sitting.
Drive me crazy too.
I do go with the "it's only one day" mentality on certain special days (birthday and certain holidays). But those days are decided by ME and are decided on in advance. I hate it when other people tell me that today should be a cheat day when I've already decided that its not. It's my decision, yo.0 -
I HATE the "don't lose any more weight- you'll look skeletal" comment. I'm 5'9" and i was roughly 148lbs. My mom dropped that one on me. Wtf- I'm not exactly fading away!!0
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TimothyFish wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.
There's a difference between going to someone's house when you know they're preparing a meal for you and being assaulted with chocolate chip cookies and brownies at your work desk. (assaulting being a little over-dramatic, but you get my point)
Not really. We know people are going to do that at work or we wouldn't be complaining about it. Most of us have a meal we eat after work, so all we really need to do is eat less during that meal or even skip it on days food is offered to us at work.
Perhaps that is what you need to do, but your generalized statement applies to no one else unless that person chooses to apply it to themselves.
If someone offers me food, or tries to push it in my face, and won't respect my no, that's their problem.
I refuse to eat less at a major meal just to comply with someone's pushiness about when I should and should not eat food.
Generally, the only food I eat at work is what I bring. If I want something someone has brought, I look up the calorie count and if it fits in my calories might have a piece. But, that's my decision only.
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opalsqueak007 wrote: »Very interesting thread - "just have one". Why do people do this? They also do it when you are teetotal or have packed up cigarettes. (I have done these two). Is it because they want you to be like them? What is wrong with them? "Don't get too skinny" - I got this one today. I am 5'7'' and 150lb and built like a barn door. I could never be skinny if I tried.
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I remember these 5 words being my most hated sentence from anyone's mouth when I was following a program. I don't know why it's so hard for people to just leave you alone when you choose to get healthy and pass on food or drinks that will set you back or foods you truly don't want anymore! If I say "no thank you" they always have to follow with "oh come on! You can have just one!!"
What is your biggest peeve that people say when you are trying to get healthy?
Hahaha....omg I used to hate this when I first got sober. Simple fact of the matter is, some people can not imagine a fun life with out alcohol. I find that these people have problems themselves so I typically tell them I will have "just one" next time if they have "just one" tonight. I do not see them again the rest of the evening.
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