"You can have just one!"
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JoanaMHill wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.
There's a difference between going to someone's house when you know they're preparing a meal for you and being assaulted with chocolate chip cookies and brownies at your work desk. (assaulting being a little over-dramatic, but you get my point)
Yes, exactly. I also agree with SingRunTing: food pushers enjoy seeing other people eat in large quantities. It gives THEM satisfaction.0 -
"God! Why don't you just eat a cheeseburger or something?"0
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SingRunTing wrote: »richardositosanchez wrote: »What I get a lot is "it's only once a year" or "one day out of the week won't hurt".
My favorites, though, are "oh I need to go on a diet/I need to lose weight" while they stuff their face with 2500 calories worth of food in one sitting.
Drive me crazy too.
I do go with the "it's only one day" mentality on certain special days (birthday and certain holidays). But those days are decided by ME and are decided on in advance. I hate it when other people tell me that today should be a cheat day when I've already decided that its not. It's my decision, yo.
YES YES. Nothing like looking for healthy options on a restaurant menu and have people tell you to just enjoy it, it's only one meal... except when you go out to eat 2 or 3 times a month, it adds up quickly.
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I remember these 5 words being my most hated sentence from anyone's mouth when I was following a program. I don't know why it's so hard for people to just leave you alone when you choose to get healthy and pass on food or drinks that will set you back or foods you truly don't want anymore! If I say "no thank you" they always have to follow with "oh come on! You can have just one!!"
What is your biggest peeve that people say when you are trying to get healthy?
Hahaha....omg I used to hate this when I first got sober. Simple fact of the matter is, some people can not imagine a fun life with out alcohol. I find that these people have problems themselves so I typically tell them I will have "just one" next time if they have "just one" tonight. I do not see them again the rest of the evening.
That's great! I don't drink very often because I just don't care about alcohol, but I've noticed that the people who keep bugging me about having "just one" are the heavy drinkers. I don't have any trouble ignoring them and saying "no thanks" but now I'm going to have to use this line. Hah, hah.
The other day someone said something like, "be careful you don't blow away". I honestly didn't get what he meant at the time because I drive school bus and it was just before my afternoon route. I must have had a puzzled look on my face, thinking it isn't even windy today, because he said, "I mean you've lost so much weight". Aha. Only because I was so fat for so long does anyone think I'm thin now. Still have a long ways to go. But, people notice and some feel the need to comment, which is fine, IMO. This guy lost 100 pounds, he said. I knew he'd lost weight but not that much. So, he was comfortable talking about weight loss and probably used the "don't blow away" as an opener to be able to talk about weight loss.
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TimothyFish wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.
There's a difference between going to someone's house when you know they're preparing a meal for you and being assaulted with chocolate chip cookies and brownies at your work desk. (assaulting being a little over-dramatic, but you get my point)
Not really. We know people are going to do that at work or we wouldn't be complaining about it. Most of us have a meal we eat after work, so all we really need to do is eat less during that meal or even skip it on days food is offered to us at work.
Maybe it's because my life is mostly free of food pushers (I had no idea this was a blissful or unusual state, and it makes me appreciate more that it seems to be normal around here for people to have their own weird eating habits/restrictions), but this seems odd to me. Why should you eat less of the dinner you planned or perhaps the ice cream you planned for that evening in order to eat something at work that you don't really want? What obliges you to do this? Typically, food shows up at work (at my work, anyway) because someone brings in sweets they don't want to eat, because some vendor buys it as a end of the year gift or otherwise to curry favor (and thus is not around to see if it's eaten or not--co workers who might urge it on you didn't bring it), or because someone decides to be nice and buy donuts and bagels for the office (and probably isn't personally invested in who eats them). I can't imagine bringing in food for the office--even if I made Christmas cookies to be nice--and caring whether specific people ate them. That's screwed up; it's not like having people over for dinner.0 -
TimothyFish wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.
There's a difference between going to someone's house when you know they're preparing a meal for you and being assaulted with chocolate chip cookies and brownies at your work desk. (assaulting being a little over-dramatic, but you get my point)
Not really. We know people are going to do that at work or we wouldn't be complaining about it. Most of us have a meal we eat after work, so all we really need to do is eat less during that meal or even skip it on days food is offered to us at work.
I try to be sensitive to the needs and feelings of others, but I'm responsible only for my behavior. As long as I decline graciously, I'm not responsible for their feelings. I can't control their feelings. Life really can't be lived without upsetting anyone. We want different things at different times. Rather than me trying to arrange an already tight diet budget to incorporate treats, why can't the other person look inward about why it bothers them so much that I didn't eat a cookie they brought to the lunchroom?0 -
People at work know (either because I told them or because they see the weight loss) that I am eating for weight loss. I got a few offers during the holidays but people see how serious I am and I really haven't had any issues with food. I always bring my meals or plan for meals at restaurants so they meet my goals for the day. I don't care if people offer, I just say no thanks and go on about my business.0
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Are you REALLY going to eat that ?
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The thing that I hear the most which bugs the crap out of me is, "You don't need to lose anymore weight." or "You are getting too skinny, have a cupcake!" Uh, I am on the heavier side of a normal BMI... that's hardly wasting away. It's always something I hear only from overweight people (with the exception of my naturally thin mother who seems to think me not eating enough for four people means I'm flirting with anorexia).0
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I have gotten that a lot and say "Yeah, I CAN have one, I'm just choosing not to!"I remember these 5 words being my most hated sentence from anyone's mouth when I was following a program. I don't know why it's so hard for people to just leave you alone when you choose to get healthy and pass on food or drinks that will set you back or foods you truly don't want anymore! If I say "no thank you" they always have to follow with "oh come on! You can have just one!!"
What is your biggest peeve that people say when you are trying to get healthy?
My biggest pet peeve would have to be people asking me what I've been doing that has worked so well (I'm down 84 lbs), and then having them criticise what I tell them. I eat on an intermittent fasting schedule because it's how I prefer to eat, and I had a lot of trouble with eating patterns that had me eating 6+ times a day, as I was always over on calories. The comments about "Well I heard that if you don't eat breakfast you go in to starvation mode" or "Well eating more frequently would work even better!" become very frustrating. If you know it all, then why ask?
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The thing that I hear the most which bugs the crap out of me is, "You don't need to lose anymore weight." or "You are getting too skinny, have a cupcake!"
Again, I feel like I live in a different world sometimes, as I'd never hear anyone say the latter. People do say the former (my pilates instructor said it, which is silly, since she's way thinner than I am), but it doesn't bother me. I just smile and go on doing what I'm doing.
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I keep getting this off family. Especially around this time of year. It does get frustrating having to remind them of why your doing what your doing. But i suppose they don't mean any harm by it.0
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"are you allowed to eat that?"0
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JoanaMHill wrote: »
Ugh, if only I had the energy to respond to all the nonsense! In my field keeping up relationships with my coworkers is essential and I can't really call people out on the stupid stuff - I also need to avoid sounding like a know-it-all, so I basically just say "Well, you asked me what's working for me and I told you, take it as you will"
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lalepepper wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »
Ugh, if only I had the energy to respond to all the nonsense! In my field keeping up relationships with my coworkers is essential and I can't really call people out on the stupid stuff - I also need to avoid sounding like a know-it-all, so I basically just say "Well, you asked me what's working for me and I told you, take it as you will"
Yeeeeah. I would personally never do intermittent fasting (on purpose) but as long as you're getting what you need out of it there's nothing wrong with it. It's the same for anything, though. You could just be on a regular diet, cutting back portions, and some people will think they know a better way.0 -
JoanaMHill wrote: »lalepepper wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »
Ugh, if only I had the energy to respond to all the nonsense! In my field keeping up relationships with my coworkers is essential and I can't really call people out on the stupid stuff - I also need to avoid sounding like a know-it-all, so I basically just say "Well, you asked me what's working for me and I told you, take it as you will"
Yeeeeah. I would personally never do intermittent fasting (on purpose) but as long as you're getting what you need out of it there's nothing wrong with it. It's the same for anything, though. You could just be on a regular diet, cutting back portions, and some people will think they know a better way.
Exactly - I always remind people that being successful is about finding and establishing habits that work for you as an individual. By no means do I think IF would work for just anybody, but it works for plenty of people and happens to work for me. Some people will tell you any restriction of calories is disordered eating - you can't win!
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melaniebhowes wrote: »"Just don't get too skinny"
I remember wanting to throat-punch my mother after she said this for about the eleventy-billionth fricking time. It's not like you slip on a banana peel, and whoopsie! Now you weigh 74 pounds! -_-
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i guess it's different from everyone, but sometimes we have to see where people are coming, i mean in my personal experience, all and every one of my friends are in a normal weight, haven't had ever weight issues so of course they are going to thing that the way they eat is perfect and that diet include many things and many time a lot of what they offer me when they say the "you can just have one", so that's why i don't feel bad , but at the same time they don't keep insisting if i say no thank you.0
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2snakeswoman wrote: »"You're losing your womanly curves."
Here's your response:
"Oh, darn. I would hate for someone I am not in a relationship with and have no interest in having sex appeal toward to suddenly become unattracted to me." Snort.
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i guess it's different from everyone, but sometimes we have to see where people are coming, i mean in my personal experience, all and every one of my friends are in a normal weight, haven't had ever weight issues so of course they are going to thing that the way they eat is perfect and that diet include many things and many time a lot of what they offer me when they say the "you can just have one", so that's why i don't feel bad , but at the same time they don't keep insisting if i say no thank you.
lol *think*0 -
lalepepper wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »lalepepper wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »
Ugh, if only I had the energy to respond to all the nonsense! In my field keeping up relationships with my coworkers is essential and I can't really call people out on the stupid stuff - I also need to avoid sounding like a know-it-all, so I basically just say "Well, you asked me what's working for me and I told you, take it as you will"
Yeeeeah. I would personally never do intermittent fasting (on purpose) but as long as you're getting what you need out of it there's nothing wrong with it. It's the same for anything, though. You could just be on a regular diet, cutting back portions, and some people will think they know a better way.
Exactly - I always remind people that being successful is about finding and establishing habits that work for you as an individual. By no means do I think IF would work for just anybody, but it works for plenty of people and happens to work for me. Some people will tell you any restriction of calories is disordered eating - you can't win!
Pretty sure the fact that I used to eat entire sleeves of Saltine crackers qualified more as disordered eating than me eating the serving size now. Oh well.0 -
KatrinaGrey wrote: »I don't mind if someone asks me once, "are you sure?" or "Just one?" I'm Italian, I get it, we always want to make sure someone isnt hungry. But it gets annoying when I'm pushed beyond the normal because I can feel my willpower weakening and I have to stop and envision what I want for myself and try to understand where the other person is coming from. Luckily, I've been very good around here at work considering the holiday and retirement parties. I've "splurged" by trying a small portion of something once or twice (nothing off limits unless extremely processed). People are always amazed when I do that, or turn it down completely.
I fend off my well-meaning Italian friends and family (the most serious food pushers) with "maybe later". This seems to reassure them that I'm not going to go hungry and there's nothing wrong with their food and it keeps my from having to give in, even a little, to how someone else thinks I should eat because I refuse to eat just to get someone to leave me alone.
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This is a great suggestion. While I don't have an Italian family, I quickly learned that definite refusals are a lot more offensive to people than a more open-ended "Maybe later".disasterman wrote: »KatrinaGrey wrote: »I don't mind if someone asks me once, "are you sure?" or "Just one?" I'm Italian, I get it, we always want to make sure someone isnt hungry. But it gets annoying when I'm pushed beyond the normal because I can feel my willpower weakening and I have to stop and envision what I want for myself and try to understand where the other person is coming from. Luckily, I've been very good around here at work considering the holiday and retirement parties. I've "splurged" by trying a small portion of something once or twice (nothing off limits unless extremely processed). People are always amazed when I do that, or turn it down completely.
I fend off my well-meaning Italian friends and family (the most serious food pushers) with "maybe later". This seems to reassure them that I'm not going to go hungry and there's nothing wrong with their food and it keeps my from having to give in, even a little, to how someone else thinks I should eat because I refuse to eat just to get someone to leave me alone.
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"We just want you to get healthy." Said repeatedly by my mother-in-law whose azz is twice as big as mine.0
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'How do you do it?'
After spending hours explaining to them, what you can and cannot do, the tips, the advices, the alternatives to 'bad' foods etc..
They just reply with a 'Whoa, too hard! Sorry..' -_-0 -
"Don't do too much" (as in exercise). "Make that the last one" (food) When I was lying on the couch inhaling a 16 inch pizza, why didn't you comment then, hmmm?....0
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dswolverine wrote: »I HATE the "don't lose any more weight- you'll look skeletal" comment. I'm 5'9" and i was roughly 148lbs. My mom dropped that one on me. Wtf- I'm not exactly fading away!!
I've had this at 5'9" and 180lbs.
In fairness, I think it's just because people are having trouble reconciling their mental image of you (likely at a heavier weight) with the person in front of them. I think when they get used to it and their mental image catches up these comments will stop.0 -
"You don't need to lose that much", well I do. But thank you for seeing me with rose tinted goggles.0
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This discussion has been closed.
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