"You can have just one!"
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arditarose wrote: »sheldonklein wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »sheldonklein wrote: »Frankly, the majority of these seem innocuous and well-intentioned. Are people required to ignore your weight loss? Is it really that hard to say, "I can, but I'd rather not" when someone urges you to try just one cookie?
It's not saying it that's hard (for most people) it's getting the person with the food to accept it. We live in a culture where politeness is expected, and accepting offered gifts (food counts) is considered polite. Politely saying no is still seen as a snub (and taken personally) even if it's just that they want to save those calories for something they were expecting to enjoy later.
So the offeror must refrain from the polite thing of offering food because a dieter might be forced to say no thank you?
You're not getting it. Of course they can offer food, and we can politely say no-but we are talking about people who don't take your polite no as an answer and push the food on you anyway. I think you missed something. We are talking about food pushers.
This. They can offer, but the minute someone says no, they need to move on, not say "One won't hurt!" or get righteously indignant like we just insulted their mother.0 -
2snakeswoman wrote: »"You're losing your womanly curves."
This, especially when they're talking about the breasts, because they don't realize that half of what I had before was just fat around the boobs, which I am much happier without.
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What I get a lot is "it's only once a year" or "one day out of the week won't hurt".
My favorites, though, are "oh I need to go on a diet/I need to lose weight" while they stuff their face with 2500 calories worth of food in one sitting.0 -
I'm a long-distance endurance runner, and carefully watch what I eat. I'm not "Naturally skinny" but I tend to stay slim due to my diet and running. I work hard at being healthy and in shape for my sport so I can hit my peak performance during races....
So... biggest pet peeve when someone sees me eating and snacking (which during heavy training weeks can be a lot)...
"Man I wish I could eat whatever I want and stay as skinny as you..."
"Oh, you're lucky, you're just naturally skinny, if I ate that, I'd be fat..."
"Why don't you want this [insert office dessert]? You're skinny, you can have it"
I do NOT eat whatever I want, hence why I have an account on here! And no... not naturally skinny, I work incredibly hard
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InnocentLunatic wrote: »2snakeswoman wrote: »"You're losing your womanly curves."
This, especially when they're talking about the breasts, because they don't realize that half of what I had before was just fat around the boobs, which I am much happier without.
I get this about my butt. People are used to my 29 inch waist and 44 inch hips. That is unnecessary.0 -
richardositosanchez wrote: »What I get a lot is "it's only once a year" or "one day out of the week won't hurt".
My favorites, though, are "oh I need to go on a diet/I need to lose weight" while they stuff their face with 2500 calories worth of food in one sitting.
Drive me crazy too.
I do go with the "it's only one day" mentality on certain special days (birthday and certain holidays). But those days are decided by ME and are decided on in advance. I hate it when other people tell me that today should be a cheat day when I've already decided that its not. It's my decision, yo.0 -
I HATE the "don't lose any more weight- you'll look skeletal" comment. I'm 5'9" and i was roughly 148lbs. My mom dropped that one on me. Wtf- I'm not exactly fading away!!0
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TimothyFish wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.
There's a difference between going to someone's house when you know they're preparing a meal for you and being assaulted with chocolate chip cookies and brownies at your work desk. (assaulting being a little over-dramatic, but you get my point)
Not really. We know people are going to do that at work or we wouldn't be complaining about it. Most of us have a meal we eat after work, so all we really need to do is eat less during that meal or even skip it on days food is offered to us at work.
Perhaps that is what you need to do, but your generalized statement applies to no one else unless that person chooses to apply it to themselves.
If someone offers me food, or tries to push it in my face, and won't respect my no, that's their problem.
I refuse to eat less at a major meal just to comply with someone's pushiness about when I should and should not eat food.
Generally, the only food I eat at work is what I bring. If I want something someone has brought, I look up the calorie count and if it fits in my calories might have a piece. But, that's my decision only.
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opalsqueak007 wrote: »Very interesting thread - "just have one". Why do people do this? They also do it when you are teetotal or have packed up cigarettes. (I have done these two). Is it because they want you to be like them? What is wrong with them? "Don't get too skinny" - I got this one today. I am 5'7'' and 150lb and built like a barn door. I could never be skinny if I tried.
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I remember these 5 words being my most hated sentence from anyone's mouth when I was following a program. I don't know why it's so hard for people to just leave you alone when you choose to get healthy and pass on food or drinks that will set you back or foods you truly don't want anymore! If I say "no thank you" they always have to follow with "oh come on! You can have just one!!"
What is your biggest peeve that people say when you are trying to get healthy?
Hahaha....omg I used to hate this when I first got sober. Simple fact of the matter is, some people can not imagine a fun life with out alcohol. I find that these people have problems themselves so I typically tell them I will have "just one" next time if they have "just one" tonight. I do not see them again the rest of the evening.
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JoanaMHill wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.
There's a difference between going to someone's house when you know they're preparing a meal for you and being assaulted with chocolate chip cookies and brownies at your work desk. (assaulting being a little over-dramatic, but you get my point)
Yes, exactly. I also agree with SingRunTing: food pushers enjoy seeing other people eat in large quantities. It gives THEM satisfaction.0 -
"God! Why don't you just eat a cheeseburger or something?"0
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SingRunTing wrote: »richardositosanchez wrote: »What I get a lot is "it's only once a year" or "one day out of the week won't hurt".
My favorites, though, are "oh I need to go on a diet/I need to lose weight" while they stuff their face with 2500 calories worth of food in one sitting.
Drive me crazy too.
I do go with the "it's only one day" mentality on certain special days (birthday and certain holidays). But those days are decided by ME and are decided on in advance. I hate it when other people tell me that today should be a cheat day when I've already decided that its not. It's my decision, yo.
YES YES. Nothing like looking for healthy options on a restaurant menu and have people tell you to just enjoy it, it's only one meal... except when you go out to eat 2 or 3 times a month, it adds up quickly.
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I remember these 5 words being my most hated sentence from anyone's mouth when I was following a program. I don't know why it's so hard for people to just leave you alone when you choose to get healthy and pass on food or drinks that will set you back or foods you truly don't want anymore! If I say "no thank you" they always have to follow with "oh come on! You can have just one!!"
What is your biggest peeve that people say when you are trying to get healthy?
Hahaha....omg I used to hate this when I first got sober. Simple fact of the matter is, some people can not imagine a fun life with out alcohol. I find that these people have problems themselves so I typically tell them I will have "just one" next time if they have "just one" tonight. I do not see them again the rest of the evening.
That's great! I don't drink very often because I just don't care about alcohol, but I've noticed that the people who keep bugging me about having "just one" are the heavy drinkers. I don't have any trouble ignoring them and saying "no thanks" but now I'm going to have to use this line. Hah, hah.
The other day someone said something like, "be careful you don't blow away". I honestly didn't get what he meant at the time because I drive school bus and it was just before my afternoon route. I must have had a puzzled look on my face, thinking it isn't even windy today, because he said, "I mean you've lost so much weight". Aha. Only because I was so fat for so long does anyone think I'm thin now. Still have a long ways to go. But, people notice and some feel the need to comment, which is fine, IMO. This guy lost 100 pounds, he said. I knew he'd lost weight but not that much. So, he was comfortable talking about weight loss and probably used the "don't blow away" as an opener to be able to talk about weight loss.
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TimothyFish wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.
There's a difference between going to someone's house when you know they're preparing a meal for you and being assaulted with chocolate chip cookies and brownies at your work desk. (assaulting being a little over-dramatic, but you get my point)
Not really. We know people are going to do that at work or we wouldn't be complaining about it. Most of us have a meal we eat after work, so all we really need to do is eat less during that meal or even skip it on days food is offered to us at work.
Maybe it's because my life is mostly free of food pushers (I had no idea this was a blissful or unusual state, and it makes me appreciate more that it seems to be normal around here for people to have their own weird eating habits/restrictions), but this seems odd to me. Why should you eat less of the dinner you planned or perhaps the ice cream you planned for that evening in order to eat something at work that you don't really want? What obliges you to do this? Typically, food shows up at work (at my work, anyway) because someone brings in sweets they don't want to eat, because some vendor buys it as a end of the year gift or otherwise to curry favor (and thus is not around to see if it's eaten or not--co workers who might urge it on you didn't bring it), or because someone decides to be nice and buy donuts and bagels for the office (and probably isn't personally invested in who eats them). I can't imagine bringing in food for the office--even if I made Christmas cookies to be nice--and caring whether specific people ate them. That's screwed up; it's not like having people over for dinner.0 -
TimothyFish wrote: »JoanaMHill wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »Keep in mind that it is just as frustrating to them that you don't eat what they prepared. Rather than refuse to eat it, it might be better to prepare for the encounter by budgeting it into your diet.
There's a difference between going to someone's house when you know they're preparing a meal for you and being assaulted with chocolate chip cookies and brownies at your work desk. (assaulting being a little over-dramatic, but you get my point)
Not really. We know people are going to do that at work or we wouldn't be complaining about it. Most of us have a meal we eat after work, so all we really need to do is eat less during that meal or even skip it on days food is offered to us at work.
I try to be sensitive to the needs and feelings of others, but I'm responsible only for my behavior. As long as I decline graciously, I'm not responsible for their feelings. I can't control their feelings. Life really can't be lived without upsetting anyone. We want different things at different times. Rather than me trying to arrange an already tight diet budget to incorporate treats, why can't the other person look inward about why it bothers them so much that I didn't eat a cookie they brought to the lunchroom?0 -
People at work know (either because I told them or because they see the weight loss) that I am eating for weight loss. I got a few offers during the holidays but people see how serious I am and I really haven't had any issues with food. I always bring my meals or plan for meals at restaurants so they meet my goals for the day. I don't care if people offer, I just say no thanks and go on about my business.0
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Are you REALLY going to eat that ?
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The thing that I hear the most which bugs the crap out of me is, "You don't need to lose anymore weight." or "You are getting too skinny, have a cupcake!" Uh, I am on the heavier side of a normal BMI... that's hardly wasting away. It's always something I hear only from overweight people (with the exception of my naturally thin mother who seems to think me not eating enough for four people means I'm flirting with anorexia).0
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I have gotten that a lot and say "Yeah, I CAN have one, I'm just choosing not to!"I remember these 5 words being my most hated sentence from anyone's mouth when I was following a program. I don't know why it's so hard for people to just leave you alone when you choose to get healthy and pass on food or drinks that will set you back or foods you truly don't want anymore! If I say "no thank you" they always have to follow with "oh come on! You can have just one!!"
What is your biggest peeve that people say when you are trying to get healthy?
My biggest pet peeve would have to be people asking me what I've been doing that has worked so well (I'm down 84 lbs), and then having them criticise what I tell them. I eat on an intermittent fasting schedule because it's how I prefer to eat, and I had a lot of trouble with eating patterns that had me eating 6+ times a day, as I was always over on calories. The comments about "Well I heard that if you don't eat breakfast you go in to starvation mode" or "Well eating more frequently would work even better!" become very frustrating. If you know it all, then why ask?
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