Let's be nice to the newbies
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I had trouble with my legs when I was little and kids made fun of me in gym class. I am still not 100% OK with group fitness because of it. I let myself get fat because I was terrified of being athletic in front of other people. Just work on yourself and don't worry about others. Just like yesterday I was trying BodyPump for the first time (it's awesome) and some girl came in mid-way who was trying to be helpful but it ended up just making me anxious. You never know what other people are going through, but we should all be supportive of anyone who wants to get to their fitness goals. Now, that girl who sits on the crunch machine and texts? Everyone can be mean to her!
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So....say a newbie wanted to start....what time of year is relatively slow? I'm not ready to go yet and I am slightly embarrassed because (being a red head) I get real red. I look like I'm going to pass out. So, I would be more likely to stay if it wasn't insanely busy. Do you think March would be a better time to start? I'll have lost more weight by then and not feel so self-conscious.0
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As nervous as I am to go....seeing the rules totally made sense to me......I would definitely want a trainer as I've never done weights but from everything that I am reading it's the weights that ends up getting people to their goals. And I'm glad that someone put the rules out there.....or I would be the one causing stress for others. Again, MFP is full of such valuable information...and I appreciate that people take the time to post. I've learned so much.
if you stick to those rules you will have zero problems..
A lot of people get pissy when weighs are not re-racked or people stand in there way, etc, etc...
I think most of the "gym people are a-hole" syndrome comes from people not knowing proper etiquette and then maybe being told in a not so nice way that they are violating it..
so go to the gym, crush your work out, and just abide by some simple etiquette and you will be good to go .most of it is common sense, if you think about it.0 -
What really helps is to read some books (like New Rules of Weightlifting for Women) to understand the basic game plan and why you do what and when, and then find people demonstrating exercises on youtube. When you go in armed with a battle plan and a bit of knowledge, it makes it a little less intimidating.
.....Thank you so much. I will do this....because I hate doing things without some knowledge.....and then when certain terms are used I'll at least be familiar with them and not look at them like they have two heads!0 -
I have never seen anyone at my gym be mean to anyone...
I mean if some idiot is standing behind me when I am trying to pull a 375 pound DL..then yea, I might give him the death stare..but that is about it...0 -
So....say a newbie wanted to start....what time of year is relatively slow? I'm not ready to go yet and I am slightly embarrassed because (being a red head) I get real red. I look like I'm going to pass out. So, I would be more likely to stay if it wasn't insanely busy. Do you think March would be a better time to start? I'll have lost more weight by then and not feel so self-conscious.
No better time to start than right now.
There is nothing to be self-conscious about as we are all here for pretty much the same reason.
I am sure you have read the articles showing that those who do weight loss with friends for support fare better than those who try to go it alone.
Give MFP a try for 2 weeks, and then decide if you want to wait. It will take you about 2 weeks to get the hang of logging anyway - and then it gets a WHOLE lot easier.
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So long as they re-rack their weights, don't replace my 1RM squat with a curl setup while I'm in the bathroom and don't feel the need to inform me that I'm going to hurt myself because I deadlift, then we'll get along just fine.
Probably still won't talk to them until June though. Rite of passage and all that.0 -
47Jacqueline wrote: »It's nothing personal against newbies in particular. It's just unbelievably crowded in classes for the month and it's sad to see so many people inevitably drop out so quickly. You hesitate to reach out to new people in January because the odds of them being around in February are so small.
Maybe if you did approach them and befriend them then they might decide to come back. Give them a reason to keep coming back, new health minded friends! That's one thing that kept me from quitting - new friends to help keep me accountable
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Yeah, I think I'll do my exercise at home without the judgment of others. I'm not on the market anyway.
what does that even mean?
like if you go to a gym you're some how on the market?
You know- honestly some of the most judgemental people I've ever seen are the ones who go "I'm afraid to do XXXX Because I'm going to get judged"
seriously.
If you want to go to the gym- go to the gym.
if you want to workout at home- workout at home.
neither of those things should be impacted by what other people think. You should have a goal- and work to the goal- damned if anyone else thinks otherwise.
In principal, I totally agree. But then I look at myself. Even when I was in my best shape (before I got injured last summer), I was too nervous to go to the weights section to lift. I KNEW inside that I shouldn't give a crap, but I couldn't get over it. It's why I made my own gym downstairs (that and the financial cost and location was appealing).
Sometimes a person's insecurities make it really hard to step out of their comfort zone. REALLY hard.
If you are one of those people, then I'd suggest looking into the idea of a personal trainer - even for a few sessions. They'll introduce you to the areas, teach you the basics, give you starter exercises, (and hopefully train you using the gym 'rules'). That way you won't feel nearly as naked as if you are going in there alone and cold.
Some of us really do struggle with feeling paralyzed by the thought that everyone is watching us. And some of us also know that yes, we are being noticed. Why? because it's natural for others to notice us.
That said.. just because you've been noticed - doesn't mean its in a bad way. There is a lot more empathy and a sense of solidarity in the gym than you realize... it's just really hard to see it sometimes.0 -
Go_Mizzou99 wrote: »So....say a newbie wanted to start....what time of year is relatively slow? I'm not ready to go yet and I am slightly embarrassed because (being a red head) I get real red. I look like I'm going to pass out. So, I would be more likely to stay if it wasn't insanely busy. Do you think March would be a better time to start? I'll have lost more weight by then and not feel so self-conscious.
No better time to start than right now.
There is nothing to be self-conscious about as we are all here for pretty much the same reason.
I am sure you have read the articles showing that those who do weight loss with friends for support fare better than those who try to go it alone.
Give MFP a try for 2 weeks, and then decide if you want to wait. It will take you about 2 weeks to get the hang of logging anyway - and then it gets a WHOLE lot easier.
Using MFP now....loving it and learning a lot! Newbie for weight lifting. Never done it before but reading all the positive impacts of it on this sight make me want to try.0 -
and don't forget to give each newbie a unicorn when they come in the front door....bahahahahaha sorry could not resist....JK ...kind of...0
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Thankfully my gym has no contracts, so resolutioners don't have financial incentive to keep coming after they've already given up inside. This was my gym come Jan 5, after 4 days of being heaving:
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all righty, popcorn anyone?0
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Nice gym man.0
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So....say a newbie wanted to start....what time of year is relatively slow? I'm not ready to go yet and I am slightly embarrassed because (being a red head) I get real red. I look like I'm going to pass out. So, I would be more likely to stay if it wasn't insanely busy. Do you think March would be a better time to start? I'll have lost more weight by then and not feel so self-conscious.
Go anytime you want. I have different color hair and skin than you, but I also get really red sometimes. Mainly in the summer when I'm doing an intense cardio workout. One time a new lady came up to me in the middle of my workout and exclaimed, "Oh, my, your face it SO red!". Well, it's 90+ degrees outside, not much cooler in here and I'm in the middle of a workout, so your point is???!!! Highly annoying, but I knew that I was working hard, like I was there to do and she was wandering around watching people.0 -
Isn't it something that a post has to be created to remind human being to be nice to other human being!
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So....say a newbie wanted to start....what time of year is relatively slow? I'm not ready to go yet and I am slightly embarrassed because (being a red head) I get real red. I look like I'm going to pass out. So, I would be more likely to stay if it wasn't insanely busy. Do you think March would be a better time to start? I'll have lost more weight by then and not feel so self-conscious.
Low peak hours- Later at night- or early in the morning- weekends in the afternoon are low pressure times.
It happens- everyone does funny things at the gym- I fart when i'm doing the sled press.
And when I bench.
And I dance like a mad woman between sets- I'm so going to wind up on youtube as "that guy".... whatever.
But there are definitely low stress times where there are a lot less other people- early morning- mid day- 1-3 time frame- then like 7/8 PM to 11. weekends later (when most people go out)... all good times to go to the gym.0 -
laurajo521 wrote: »I had trouble with my legs when I was little and kids made fun of me in gym class. I am still not 100% OK with group fitness because of it. I let myself get fat because I was terrified of being athletic in front of other people. Just work on yourself and don't worry about others. Just like yesterday I was trying BodyPump for the first time (it's awesome) and some girl came in mid-way who was trying to be helpful but it ended up just making me anxious. You never know what other people are going through, but we should all be supportive of anyone who wants to get to their fitness goals. Now, that girl who sits on the crunch machine and texts? Everyone can be mean to her!
Aww.
I had ankle problems that prevented me from participating in P.E. so I'd just sit off and read. By the end of the year, half the class had some "problem" and P.E. became a club. :P don't let little snots get you down! You were totally cool in 90s Florida.
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Yup.I think most of the "gym people are a-hole" syndrome comes from people not knowing proper etiquette and then maybe being told in a not so nice way that they are violating it..
There was a lot of stuff about how rock climbers and gym climbers are a-holes, nope. Just intimately acquainted with gravity, how soft and squishy we are, and how easy it is to make a stupid mistake that shatters something. They aren't going to hold your hand, stroke your hair and tell you how special you are. They're going to tell you to correct your ----. Niceties come after mistakes are corrected.
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I'd say also given how often someone cries "unsupportive" or 'bullying' because people disagree- that their sense of persception about what someone being an "*kitten*" really means.
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I'd say also given how often someone cries "unsupportive" or 'bullying' because people disagree- that their sense of persception about what someone being an "*kitten*" really means.
Agreed. Though I can see their side. I'm quite a self-conscious person, and when you are self-conscious it is easy to be absolutely convinced that everyone is staring at you and judging you. Thankfully over the years I've also developed a good degree of self-awareness and I can silence that treacherous voice in my head that says everyone is laughing.
It can take a while to learn that in reality, no one really gives a darn what you are doing.0 -
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stumblinthrulife wrote: »I'd say also given how often someone cries "unsupportive" or 'bullying' because people disagree- that their sense of persception about what someone being an "*kitten*" really means.
Agreed. Though I can see their side. I'm quite a self-conscious person, and when you are self-conscious it is easy to be absolutely convinced that everyone is staring at you and judging you. Thankfully over the years I've also developed a good degree of self-awareness and I can silence that treacherous voice in my head that says everyone is laughing.
It can take a while to learn that in reality, no one really gives a darn what you are doing.
I am looking at you and judging you.
So what. Did that change a single thing in your life? No.0 -
scruff_farrier wrote: »
military school + 5 years in construction. I take nothing seriously- and I have a pretty small range of what constitutes "a##hole" and it most certainly isn't someone that just doesn't agree with me LOL...
but then I think as DB does...
so what.
A big fat- so what.0 -
stumblinthrulife wrote: »I'd say also given how often someone cries "unsupportive" or 'bullying' because people disagree- that their sense of persception about what someone being an "*kitten*" really means.
Agreed. Though I can see their side. I'm quite a self-conscious person, and when you are self-conscious it is easy to be absolutely convinced that everyone is staring at you and judging you. Thankfully over the years I've also developed a good degree of self-awareness and I can silence that treacherous voice in my head that says everyone is laughing.
It can take a while to learn that in reality, no one really gives a darn what you are doing.
I am looking at you and judging you.
So what. Did that change a single thing in your life? No.
You are right, no denying it. Sticks and stones, and all that. However, a little empathy would go a long way in this discussion.
The point is that highly self-conscious people struggle with social phobia and fear of public humiliation every day. There's nothing rational about it, just as there is nothing rational about any other phobia that thousands of people have. However it is real, and just smugly telling people that the judgement of others has no impact on them never helped any one get over it.0
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