Should you leave your OH if they are not supportive?

I've been in that position. I think most people feel bad about themselves when they see others making an effort to lose weight. My boyfriend is the same way eats a lot of fast food and sits on the computer all day. He would ask me every time he went out if I wanted anything and in the beginning I would say something but now I've worked up the strength to say no. You've just got to be stronger and let him know how important this is to you. I've also learned letting him know what foods I can and can't eat helps too. During Christmas he would let everyone know I couldn't eat a certain food, it was nice.

I'm married to that person. You can't expect him to give you that support. You need to keep saying why it matters to you, and explain that healthy food makes you feel good about yourself, etc. You need to find the courage in yourself to tell him you don't want the foods he brings you, and eventually he will stop and start bringing you stuff you will eat. Everytime he tries to to give you something you don't want you just need to be firm and say "thank you for thinking of me, but I have to follow through with my commitment to myself"

Have you communicated how you'd like him to support you in your efforts and how his actions feel to you?

No one here can give you lasting relationship advice because we're not living it, but having known my partner for half my life, I know one thing: people aren't mind readers. TALK about your needs.

ana3067 wrote: »

What he does doesn't matter for your progress. Are you expecting him to basically do exactly as you do? He needs to live his own life according to his own priorities as well. I live with my parents, my mom eats way too much and my dad doesn't eat enough while not eating enough protein. Neither of them exercise. Hasn't stopped me from losing over 25lbs.

Get your own servings (since that's really the only way you'll be able to accurately log it anyways, assuming you weigh your food). Eat your own food. Do your own thing. No one in my family weighs food or lifts weights, I'm not planning on making them do any of that.

If he buys you take out, then if it doesn't fit into your calories for today then log it for tomorrow and eat it tomorrow, and thank him for buying you food. Or simply ask him to call you when he goes to buy food so that you can choose what you want or decide against it entirely.

And as a general comment, it's really not all that smart to not eat foods you enjoy just because you're trying to lose weight. If you enjoy take-out and you buy it sometimes, then eat it. CICO still works with junk food and fast food.

^^^^^ THIS
My other half is supportive, but he's at the opposite end of the spectrum, he needs to gain.

So I don't need him to eat like I eat. I don't need him to do what I do in order for me to do it. I work out all the time, he doesn't.

Might not be so much that he's not supportive, just that he's doing what he's always done. You've learned you can't do that anymore, so don't.

You do you. Maybe one day your guy will get motivated when he sees your progress and how good you feel, maybe not.

OdesAngel wrote: »

rabbitjb wrote: »

You leave your OH if you don't love him and communication has broken down

Why is your title so dramatic?

Because it's just an excuse in a different form, and OP is not realizing it yet. Let's blame the spouse for not giving support and stalling said weight loss efforts.

Well yes and no. If my husband kept bringing my trigger foods home FOR ME, knowing I'm trying to limit them, and especially after I told him not to, I would be peeved, honestly. Excuse or not, it's harder to resist when it's here, and if a SO does that repeatedly, I don't think it's particularly healthy for a relationship.

To answer your question: no, you shouldn't leave him. Unless there are deeper issues that can't be resolved or remedied, this would be a pretty silly reason to leave your partner. If you are doing something for yourself, stop expecting others to put on their cheerleading costumes. Yes, it's nice, but it's not crucial for success.

I'm the only person in the house who is trying to lose weight. My mother is an avid cook and would make and bake all kinds of high calorie delicacies quite often. If I can eat it that day, I do, if I can't I don't and just prepare my own meal. It's that simple.

My sister knows I love certain sweets and high calorie snacks, so she brings me some from time to time. It makes me happy she thought of me, just as happy as I feel when she calls me up and tells me the store has some kind of new whole grain or bran (I love grains).

This issue is really simple to resolve: sit with him and have a talk. Tell him you are trying hard to lose weight, and that it would make you happy and healthy. That you don't expect him to change anything about his diet, and that you appreciate him thinking of you buying you whatever he buys for himself, but that it would be much better and you both would be happier if he asks you before buying takeouts, to plan your food accordingly and see if you can have it that day.

*head scratch* Have you TOLD HIM what you want from him. I'm just an old lady and all, but after having been around the lighthouse a few times in the stormy seas of romance, I can say that asking specifically for what you want can be really awesome.