Food and Parenting
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HeidiCooksSupper wrote: »I watched my healthy eating sister-in-law raise three kids to believe that hi-sugar processed foods are TREATS not an expectation. So, if a child came into the kitchen and wanted a snack, they were steered to the fruit bowl. Ice cream, iced cakes, etc. were party food to be enjoyed on birthdays and the like. She taught them to have the same balanced view of food she does. When one of them stated at age 11 that she was a vegetarian, her mother taught her how to do it in a healthy way. She is still a vegetarian, was a Division One athlete, and is the only person I know who can wear one of those 'sausage-casing' dresses without a single wayward lump. I've stayed out of these discussions because I've never raised a child but it strikes me raising your kids on hot dogs and tater tots and to raise so many of them to "hate vegetables" in adulthood does them no favors at all.
Who does this?
Just because I let my kids eat hot dogs and tater tots sometimes doesn't mean the rest of their diet isn't healthy.
It's not either/or. It's a balance.0 -
My kids had blueberry pancakes for breakfast, grilled cheese with pretzels and strawberries for lunch and guess what, they will probably have easy mac and baby carrots and apple slices for dinner. Do the Easy Mac and Kraft singles.negate the blueberries, strawberries, apples and carrots because they are processed?
Obviously
lol.
My kids have had scrambled egg for breakfast, tuna sandwich for lunch, and chicken stir fry for dinner. We had a walk to the beach and they had a smarties ice cream. Wonder if that negates the rest of their healthy day? Not sure why they wanted ice cream as it was freezing!
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runnerchick69 wrote: »OP - if you didn't have a point people wouldn't get so hot and bothered by it
Or maybe we don't like being judged for our parenting choices by someone who has no idea what they are talking about. We're not lazy. I'd love it if my kids ate what I eat too. And then every other night they look at dinner or whatever and say 'I hate this' and reality sets in.0 -
runnerchick69 wrote: »OP - if you didn't have a point people wouldn't get so hot and bothered by it
Strong logic!!!0 -
runnerchick69 wrote: »OP - if you didn't have a point people wouldn't get so hot and bothered by it
So by that logic, if I get angry because people insist that the sun isn't a star - it's because they are correct?
Seems legit.0 -
runnerchick69 wrote: »OP - if you didn't have a point people wouldn't get so hot and bothered by it
Strong logic!!!
People get hot and bothered when I kick puppies. It's good to know I have a point and that I'm not just being nonsensical and stupid.0 -
I may be wrong or in the minority but I do not think there is anything wrong with a non parent making suggestions to parents about parenting. I think it is entirely possible that a non parent may have excellent and valid suggestions or recommendations about parenting. In my opinion the idea that one has to be a parent to make suggestions or opinions about parenting is wrong. I definitely understand that it can be annoying to parents but that does not make the suggestion from the non parent invalid.
While I was a non parent I had very strong opinions about kids and healthy eating, it was my opinion that they had to be introduced to healthy eating as toddlers, pre-schoolers, young kids (about 0-8yrs) this is because I felt the battle is normally lost at about 10yrs. I also felt as a non parent that it would be extremely hard to do, it is so much more convenient to do fast food. due to time and cost. I knew this because even as a non parents I could see what kids did. As a parent, my opinion was validated...it can be done but its very hard, sometimes you have to look for near substitute for that day or too. its hard but doable. it may be very challenging though if you are poor in developed nations.
Long story short...my opinion as a non parent was the same. I did not need to be a parent to have an opinion or make a suggestion0 -
ttcbelieve wrote: »I may be wrong or in the minority but I do not think there is anything wrong with a non parent making suggestions to parents about parenting. I think it is entirely possible that a non parent may have excellent and valid suggestions or recommendations about parenting. In my opinion the idea that one has to be a parent to make suggestions or opinions about parenting is wrong. I definitely understand that it can be annoying to parents but that does not make the suggestion from the non parent invalid.
While I was a non parent I had very strong opinions about kids and healthy eating, it was my opinion that they had to be introduced to healthy eating as toddlers, pre-schoolers, young kids (about 0-8yrs) this is because I felt the battle is normally lost at about 10yrs. I also felt as a non parent that it would be extremely hard to do, it is so much more convenient to do fast food. due to time and cost. I knew this because even as a non parents I could see what kids did. As a parent, my opinion was validated...it can be done but its very hard, sometimes you have to look for near substitute for that day or too. its hard but doable. it may be very challenging though if you are poor in developed nations.
Long story short...my opinion as a non parent was the same. I did not need to be a parent to have an opinion or make a suggestion
Without experience, those "excellent and valid" suggestions are just shots in the dark. It would be akin to me giving advice about sky diving. Could I possibly get lucky and give some spot on advice? Sure, even a broken clock is correct twice a day. But it's much more likely that I'll just be talking out of my bum.
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I don't know a single parent IRL who didn't have substantial opinion changes on any number of parenting issues once the kids actually arrived.
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I am a mother of 4 teenagers. I always keep prepackaged food in the house and guess what? None of my kids are over weight. Why you ask? Well when they were all toddlers I taught them when meal times, including snack times, were and what an appropriate portion is. I originally did this to get them to stop harping on me to have a snack right after meals but it ended up being a great lesson for them. They knew not to ask and/ or try to take food when it wasn't a meal time. They also get choices to make for what they want for snacks. They choose the fruit that I buy for the house, yes I do buy what is in season but if they kids don't like it I don't waste my money on it. I found that buy letting them in on the decision making helps them make better choices. I LOVE to cook but with a large family with a very busy schedule sometimes you need to rely on that box of Pasta Roni as a side to your baked chicken and frozen veggies because it makes the difference whether or not you order a take out pizza or not. Also those prepackaged little debbies snacks come in handy when you need that time for sleep rather than staying up until 1am baking them snacks.
I have taught my children proper portions and I find them, now as teenagers, pulling out my food scale and looking at the nutrition facts not for the "healthy ingredients" but for the proper serving size so they don't go overboard. For this reason alone I think I have done a pretty good job teaching my children to have a good relationship with food especially since they know they can eat whatever they want as long as it is all in moderation.0 -
Without experience, those "excellent and valid" suggestions are just shots in the dark. It would be akin to me giving advice about sky diving. Could I possibly get lucky and give some spot on advice? Sure, even a broken clock is correct twice a day. But it's much more likely that I'll just be talking out of my bum.
I do not think you are talking out of your bum, I think your points are valid however most suggestions are shots from the dark even if they come from parents. This is why in my opinion being a non parent does not mean your suggestions are less valid than a parent. Case in point. I had a parent say its ok to give your 2yr old zero calorie sugar substitute flavoured water because it'll get them to drink water and they did it with their kids and there is no side effect. Thanks but no thanks...I'll pass on the suggestion from the "experienced" parents and go with the non parents who says keep trying to give them the water.0 -
I don't know a single parent IRL who didn't have substantial opinion changes on any number of parenting issues once the kids actually arrived.
Me
but it may be because I spent a lot of time and information before having an opinion and also because I am a late parent, who had a lot of ideas of how I wanted to parent and what parenting is before I became a parent. While there have been some changes, it has been very minimal and has more to do with experiencing how the kids develop than any parenting style changes 0 -
ttcbelieve wrote: »I may be wrong or in the minority but I do not think there is anything wrong with a non parent making suggestions to parents about parenting. I think it is entirely possible that a non parent may have excellent and valid suggestions or recommendations about parenting. In my opinion the idea that one has to be a parent to make suggestions or opinions about parenting is wrong. I definitely understand that it can be annoying to parents but that does not make the suggestion from the non parent invalid.
While I was a non parent I had very strong opinions about kids and healthy eating, it was my opinion that they had to be introduced to healthy eating as toddlers, pre-schoolers, young kids (about 0-8yrs) this is because I felt the battle is normally lost at about 10yrs. I also felt as a non parent that it would be extremely hard to do, it is so much more convenient to do fast food. due to time and cost. I knew this because even as a non parents I could see what kids did. As a parent, my opinion was validated...it can be done but its very hard, sometimes you have to look for near substitute for that day or too. its hard but doable. it may be very challenging though if you are poor in developed nations.
Long story short...my opinion as a non parent was the same. I did not need to be a parent to have an opinion or make a suggestion
I usually only consider opinions of people that are founded in first hand experience - not watching other people's kids in the grocery store from afar.
Everyone is welcome to an opinion on parenting - I just don't care what that opinion is.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »Everyone is welcome to an opinion on parenting - I just don't care what that opinion is.
So much this!!-2 -
ttcbelieve wrote: »
Without experience, those "excellent and valid" suggestions are just shots in the dark. It would be akin to me giving advice about sky diving. Could I possibly get lucky and give some spot on advice? Sure, even a broken clock is correct twice a day. But it's much more likely that I'll just be talking out of my bum.
I do not think you are talking out of your bum, I think your points are valid however most suggestions are shots from the dark even if they come from parents. This is why in my opinion being a non parent does not mean your suggestions are less valid than a parent. Case in point. I had a parent say its ok to give your 2yr old zero calorie sugar substitute flavoured water because it'll get them to drink water and they did it with their kids and there is no side effect. Thanks but no thanks...I'll pass on the suggestion from the "experienced" parents and go with the non parents who says keep trying to give them the water.
Also, were all of your opinions on parenting validated when you had children? Or were there a few rules that you bent or changed once you experienced the reality? If they were, then you are the rare individual that had it all figured out before having a kid. If, however, you're like the vast majority of the population, there are some ideas you had before becoming a parent that didn't pan out once the kid arrived.
But in the end, it comes down to this: Don't give out advice or write judgmental posts about other people's parenting. It's not something you can affect and it's not the business of anyone except the parents'. Cases where the law is being broken are of course excluded from that panacea.ttcbelieve wrote: »Me but it may be because I spent a lot of time and information before having an opinion and also because I am a late parent, who had a lot of ideas of how I wanted to parent and what parenting is before I became a parent. While there have been some changes, it has been very minimal and has more to do with experiencing how the kids develop than any parenting style changes
Oh, I see you are claiming to be someone that had it all figured out and only had to make minimal changes.0 -
In for later
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Oh, I see you are claiming to be someone that had it all figured out and only had to make minimal changes.
Not at all. I simple had specific opinions about parenting while I was a non parent, and those opinions have not changed much since I have been a parent. Its probable becomes my opinion about parenting was that it will be very hard, it will be very difficult but I should focus on the interest of the child and not what is convenient for me. Sometimes I'll get it right, sometime I'll get it wrong and that's ok, sometimes I'll cry, sometimes I cant handle it. Being a parent has not changed that opinion, it has simply proved it. maybe I simple had a realistic opinion about parenting, read a lot of books, I was a child once and I've been around parents and seen the good, the bad and the ugly. I don't think being informed and having an opinion is a bad thing, but I may be wrong. there are lots of other things that I have had opinions on and when I experience it, I have been so very wrong...not parenting..what I thought it would be is what it turned out to be0 -
But in the end, it comes down to this: Don't give out advice or write judgmental posts about other people's parenting. It's not something you can affect and it's not the business of anyone except the parents'. Cases where the law is being broken are of course excluded from that panacea.
I agree that people should not be judgemental about other people's parenting I do not think it is right or fair, you never know what the circumstances are. you can have an opinion (and as someone has said, I have a right not to agree with your opinion). but please don't be judgemental
My thoughts are that this goes both for parents and non parents. its unfair to give a pass to parents and say they can be judgemental about other parents parenting but non parents cannot be judgemental.
I do not think anyone should be judgemental(parents & non-parents) about anyone's parenting, unless in the case you have mentioned..i.e the law0 -
Parent of a 14 year old here. My thoughts are that I want my dd to make healthy choices but not make extreme choices. Since she was young, we have talked about nutrition. We've discussed balancing the different food groups. We have books about nutrition. We've talked about some foods being sometimes foods. I cook a lot. I let her decide what to eat because Ibelieve that she has a right to decide. I ask her to try the food I serve before rejecting it but don't force her to eat things she doesn't like. She makes pretty decent choices but still eats fast food or packaged foods sometimes. She is not overweight at all and rarely gets sick.
I think it is naive to think you will control everything your child eats after they are old enough to obtain food on their own. From a young age your child can buy food and drinks without your permission. They will be given food and drink by many other people- family, friends, school, coaches, neighbors for example. It is better to give them information and access to a variety of foods, IMO, than to make foods off limits.0 -
ttcbelieve wrote: »... its unfair to give a pass to parents and say they can be judgemental about other parents parenting but non parents cannot be judgemental.
Nobody said that.
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ttcbelieve wrote: »
Without experience, those "excellent and valid" suggestions are just shots in the dark. It would be akin to me giving advice about sky diving. Could I possibly get lucky and give some spot on advice? Sure, even a broken clock is correct twice a day. But it's much more likely that I'll just be talking out of my bum.
I do not think you are talking out of your bum, I think your points are valid however most suggestions are shots from the dark even if they come from parents. This is why in my opinion being a non parent does not mean your suggestions are less valid than a parent. Case in point. I had a parent say its ok to give your 2yr old zero calorie sugar substitute flavoured water because it'll get them to drink water and they did it with their kids and there is no side effect. Thanks but no thanks...I'll pass on the suggestion from the "experienced" parents and go with the non parents who says keep trying to give them the water.
What exactly is wrong with that?
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I'm due with my first child in a few weeks. DH and I are not picky eaters, so I'm hoping this kid is the same way as us. I really don't know how I would deal with a fussy eater.
I guess the only thing I can do is introduce a variety of foods (healthy and not-so-healthy) and teach my child the differences and how to handle them. I'm a strong believer in moderation. We do treat ourselves on junk food from time-to-time. However, I try to limit it because I don't feel well afterwards. I stick to foods that don't make me feel like crap.0 -
I am seriously ashamed of myself for raising my son on iffy-quality food. I'm very lucky that he went off to college, went crazy with tons of junk, and then said, "I gotta eat better!" He did that on his own and I'm so proud of him for it.
I think it is great how so many people here are changing their habits and teaching their kids better habits than they grew up with! But that doesn't mean the kids can't ever have a treat.
Also, kids are so difficult, food-wise. So many of them are like, "No, that's a new color, I'm not eating it. No, I never smelled that before, I'm not eating it. Just give me a hot dog, please." There aren't a lot of kids who are like, "Yay!! New food that looks and smells like nothing I've seen before! Can't wait to put it in my mouth!!!"
Babies, especially. If they don't like it, they spit it out. Do you have any idea how many babies show up in the pediatrician's office because they've turned orange? The parents are like, "He won't eat the green veggies or meat, so I just give him carrots every night. If I don't, he gets no vegetables." It's a common tale.
Parents are doing the best they can. Frankly, there are so many horrible people out there who are actually abusing and neglecting their children that the anger directed toward the Nutty Bars might be better directed elsewhere. IMO.0 -
kalikel hi! i agree with most you've said, i think OP when she wrote that it was maybe in a time where she was having a mini rant/feeling every emotion from it without thinking too much how would offend some parents and who knows maybe she saw something that may trigger her post.
that said im not a parent per se my own, but have 2 wonderful niece that i have raise pretty much, and i think it's good and see nothing bad to non parenting people be aware, have an idea, opinion of how the would treat their children in the future, but don't cross the fine line to become a bit judgmental with other parenting skills because it will come down to what the hell are you talking about you are not a parent so shut up thing0 -
OP - Seeing how strongly you feel about food that... isn't real..?, I pray to the universe your future child is not like mine. I have the pickiest 2 year old when it comes to which fruits and veggies he will eat. I'm sorry to tell you this, but that's how a LOT of kids are. Like many others said, the best thing you can do is to teach them what is healthy and not so healthy. And moderation. Rewards for good behavior, such as eating their fruits and veggies perhaps? Hmm.. were you deprived as a child of the amazingness that is not REAL food as you say? I highly doubt it. 0
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Children are not believers in moderation. They want what they like. They want it all. They want it now. Read "Toddler Property Laws" - it's no joke, lol.Binky_Muffin wrote: »I'm due with my first child in a few weeks. DH and I are not picky eaters, so I'm hoping this kid is the same way as us. I really don't know how I would deal with a fussy eater.
I guess the only thing I can do is introduce a variety of foods (healthy and not-so-healthy) and teach my child the differences and how to handle them. I'm a strong believer in moderation. We do treat ourselves on junk food from time-to-time. However, I try to limit it because I don't feel well afterwards. I stick to foods that don't make me feel like crap.
Start that kid on healthy stuff from the get-go and make them your food, in baby food, if you can.
I've seen the healthiest-eating people give their kid hot dogs or baloney every night, because if it was anything else, the kid wouldn't swallow it, but would cheek-pocket it like a chipmunk, lol.
Kids are so much easier when they're theoretical children who react as you'd theoretically imagine. They're so much harder when they're yours.
When you hear yourself saying things like, "I told you to Sto...If you take one! more! bite! out of that book!, no ice cream for you tonight!" ...then you know you're a parent. Theoretical children only try to eat books if they have a pica issue.
Theoretical children are so cheap and easy to raise.
Congrats on the baby!!0 -
I try to do what I do with my diet for the kids 80/20
80% fresh, healthy, foods. 20% treats. But we try to make healthier treats. Being coeliac rules out a lot for us.
But to have a healthy relationship we need to stop calling foods good or bad. Food is just food.
We eat cakes and chips etc but EVERYTHING in moderation. We love making chickpea and choc chip cookies, it's about making the best with what you can do. Every Friday and Saturday night we have movie night at homes so we have a small amount of junk food.
I want my girls to have a healthy relationship with food, when they have had enough they stop...0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »BrownEyedBetty wrote: »I mean to offend no one. I'm just saying I personally would not feed that stuff to my children even with a balanced diet. If they want a
cookie I will make them from stratch instead of buying the ones that come in a box is all I am saying
I love the declarations of non-parents about how they will parent. It's adorable.
Yeah I had thoughts about how I would parent too, that turned out to be totally wrong.
We do eat some packaged foods, and I have a kid with severe dietary limitations, (as a result of a sensory disorder) and he doesn't eat a whole lot of variety as a result.
Lots of smooth peanut butter,store bought bread, fruit leathers and milk for that one. All processed foods.
The only rules we have about food- we eat at the table for meals, your plate must have a plant (fruit, veggie or small glass of juice) a protien, and a "bread".( crackers,dinner roll,cereal,pancake,pasta,rice...)
We don't have sugar soda in the house (I tell my kids it's bad for their teeth). We encourage them to drink water, or some milk as a "protien" with one of their meals or afternoon snack.
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