Food and Parenting

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  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    I watched my healthy eating sister-in-law raise three kids to believe that hi-sugar processed foods are TREATS not an expectation. So, if a child came into the kitchen and wanted a snack, they were steered to the fruit bowl. Ice cream, iced cakes, etc. were party food to be enjoyed on birthdays and the like. She taught them to have the same balanced view of food she does. When one of them stated at age 11 that she was a vegetarian, her mother taught her how to do it in a healthy way. She is still a vegetarian, was a Division One athlete, and is the only person I know who can wear one of those 'sausage-casing' dresses without a single wayward lump. I've stayed out of these discussions because I've never raised a child but it strikes me raising your kids on hot dogs and tater tots and to raise so many of them to "hate vegetables" in adulthood does them no favors at all.

    Who does this?

    Just because I let my kids eat hot dogs and tater tots sometimes doesn't mean the rest of their diet isn't healthy.

    It's not either/or. It's a balance.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
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    Kruggeri wrote: »
    My kids had blueberry pancakes for breakfast, grilled cheese with pretzels and strawberries for lunch and guess what, they will probably have easy mac and baby carrots and apple slices for dinner. Do the Easy Mac and Kraft singles.negate the blueberries, strawberries, apples and carrots because they are processed?

    Obviously :) lol.

    My kids have had scrambled egg for breakfast, tuna sandwich for lunch, and chicken stir fry for dinner. We had a walk to the beach and they had a smarties ice cream. Wonder if that negates the rest of their healthy day? Not sure why they wanted ice cream as it was freezing!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
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    OP - if you didn't have a point people wouldn't get so hot and bothered by it :)

    Or maybe we don't like being judged for our parenting choices by someone who has no idea what they are talking about. We're not lazy. I'd love it if my kids ate what I eat too. And then every other night they look at dinner or whatever and say 'I hate this' and reality sets in.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    OP - if you didn't have a point people wouldn't get so hot and bothered by it :)

    Strong logic!!!
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    OP - if you didn't have a point people wouldn't get so hot and bothered by it :)

    So by that logic, if I get angry because people insist that the sun isn't a star - it's because they are correct?

    Seems legit.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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    Sarauk2sf wrote: »
    OP - if you didn't have a point people wouldn't get so hot and bothered by it :)

    Strong logic!!!

    People get hot and bothered when I kick puppies. It's good to know I have a point and that I'm not just being nonsensical and stupid.
  • ttcbelieve
    ttcbelieve Posts: 181 Member
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    I may be wrong or in the minority but I do not think there is anything wrong with a non parent making suggestions to parents about parenting. I think it is entirely possible that a non parent may have excellent and valid suggestions or recommendations about parenting. In my opinion the idea that one has to be a parent to make suggestions or opinions about parenting is wrong. I definitely understand that it can be annoying to parents but that does not make the suggestion from the non parent invalid.
    While I was a non parent I had very strong opinions about kids and healthy eating, it was my opinion that they had to be introduced to healthy eating as toddlers, pre-schoolers, young kids (about 0-8yrs) this is because I felt the battle is normally lost at about 10yrs. I also felt as a non parent that it would be extremely hard to do, it is so much more convenient to do fast food. due to time and cost. I knew this because even as a non parents I could see what kids did. As a parent, my opinion was validated...it can be done but its very hard, sometimes you have to look for near substitute for that day or too. its hard but doable. it may be very challenging though if you are poor in developed nations.
    Long story short...my opinion as a non parent was the same. I did not need to be a parent to have an opinion or make a suggestion
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    edited January 2015
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    ttcbelieve wrote: »
    I may be wrong or in the minority but I do not think there is anything wrong with a non parent making suggestions to parents about parenting. I think it is entirely possible that a non parent may have excellent and valid suggestions or recommendations about parenting. In my opinion the idea that one has to be a parent to make suggestions or opinions about parenting is wrong. I definitely understand that it can be annoying to parents but that does not make the suggestion from the non parent invalid.
    While I was a non parent I had very strong opinions about kids and healthy eating, it was my opinion that they had to be introduced to healthy eating as toddlers, pre-schoolers, young kids (about 0-8yrs) this is because I felt the battle is normally lost at about 10yrs. I also felt as a non parent that it would be extremely hard to do, it is so much more convenient to do fast food. due to time and cost. I knew this because even as a non parents I could see what kids did. As a parent, my opinion was validated...it can be done but its very hard, sometimes you have to look for near substitute for that day or too. its hard but doable. it may be very challenging though if you are poor in developed nations.
    Long story short...my opinion as a non parent was the same. I did not need to be a parent to have an opinion or make a suggestion

    Without experience, those "excellent and valid" suggestions are just shots in the dark. It would be akin to me giving advice about sky diving. Could I possibly get lucky and give some spot on advice? Sure, even a broken clock is correct twice a day. But it's much more likely that I'll just be talking out of my bum.

  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    I don't know a single parent IRL who didn't have substantial opinion changes on any number of parenting issues once the kids actually arrived.
  • Orfygirl
    Orfygirl Posts: 274 Member
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    I am a mother of 4 teenagers. I always keep prepackaged food in the house and guess what? None of my kids are over weight. Why you ask? Well when they were all toddlers I taught them when meal times, including snack times, were and what an appropriate portion is. I originally did this to get them to stop harping on me to have a snack right after meals but it ended up being a great lesson for them. They knew not to ask and/ or try to take food when it wasn't a meal time. They also get choices to make for what they want for snacks. They choose the fruit that I buy for the house, yes I do buy what is in season but if they kids don't like it I don't waste my money on it. I found that buy letting them in on the decision making helps them make better choices. I LOVE to cook but with a large family with a very busy schedule sometimes you need to rely on that box of Pasta Roni as a side to your baked chicken and frozen veggies because it makes the difference whether or not you order a take out pizza or not. Also those prepackaged little debbies snacks come in handy when you need that time for sleep rather than staying up until 1am baking them snacks.

    I have taught my children proper portions and I find them, now as teenagers, pulling out my food scale and looking at the nutrition facts not for the "healthy ingredients" but for the proper serving size so they don't go overboard. For this reason alone I think I have done a pretty good job teaching my children to have a good relationship with food especially since they know they can eat whatever they want as long as it is all in moderation.
  • ttcbelieve
    ttcbelieve Posts: 181 Member
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    brower47 wrote: »

    Without experience, those "excellent and valid" suggestions are just shots in the dark. It would be akin to me giving advice about sky diving. Could I possibly get lucky and give some spot on advice? Sure, even a broken clock is correct twice a day. But it's much more likely that I'll just be talking out of my bum.

    I do not think you are talking out of your bum, I think your points are valid however most suggestions are shots from the dark even if they come from parents. This is why in my opinion being a non parent does not mean your suggestions are less valid than a parent. Case in point. I had a parent say its ok to give your 2yr old zero calorie sugar substitute flavoured water because it'll get them to drink water and they did it with their kids and there is no side effect. Thanks but no thanks...I'll pass on the suggestion from the "experienced" parents and go with the non parents who says keep trying to give them the water.
  • ttcbelieve
    ttcbelieve Posts: 181 Member
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    Mr_Knight wrote: »
    I don't know a single parent IRL who didn't have substantial opinion changes on any number of parenting issues once the kids actually arrived.

    Me :wink: but it may be because I spent a lot of time and information before having an opinion and also because I am a late parent, who had a lot of ideas of how I wanted to parent and what parenting is before I became a parent. While there have been some changes, it has been very minimal and has more to do with experiencing how the kids develop than any parenting style changes
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    ttcbelieve wrote: »
    I may be wrong or in the minority but I do not think there is anything wrong with a non parent making suggestions to parents about parenting. I think it is entirely possible that a non parent may have excellent and valid suggestions or recommendations about parenting. In my opinion the idea that one has to be a parent to make suggestions or opinions about parenting is wrong. I definitely understand that it can be annoying to parents but that does not make the suggestion from the non parent invalid.
    While I was a non parent I had very strong opinions about kids and healthy eating, it was my opinion that they had to be introduced to healthy eating as toddlers, pre-schoolers, young kids (about 0-8yrs) this is because I felt the battle is normally lost at about 10yrs. I also felt as a non parent that it would be extremely hard to do, it is so much more convenient to do fast food. due to time and cost. I knew this because even as a non parents I could see what kids did. As a parent, my opinion was validated...it can be done but its very hard, sometimes you have to look for near substitute for that day or too. its hard but doable. it may be very challenging though if you are poor in developed nations.
    Long story short...my opinion as a non parent was the same. I did not need to be a parent to have an opinion or make a suggestion

    I usually only consider opinions of people that are founded in first hand experience - not watching other people's kids in the grocery store from afar.

    Everyone is welcome to an opinion on parenting - I just don't care what that opinion is.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    Everyone is welcome to an opinion on parenting - I just don't care what that opinion is.

    So much this!!
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    edited January 2015
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    ttcbelieve wrote: »
    brower47 wrote: »

    Without experience, those "excellent and valid" suggestions are just shots in the dark. It would be akin to me giving advice about sky diving. Could I possibly get lucky and give some spot on advice? Sure, even a broken clock is correct twice a day. But it's much more likely that I'll just be talking out of my bum.

    I do not think you are talking out of your bum, I think your points are valid however most suggestions are shots from the dark even if they come from parents. This is why in my opinion being a non parent does not mean your suggestions are less valid than a parent. Case in point. I had a parent say its ok to give your 2yr old zero calorie sugar substitute flavoured water because it'll get them to drink water and they did it with their kids and there is no side effect. Thanks but no thanks...I'll pass on the suggestion from the "experienced" parents and go with the non parents who says keep trying to give them the water.

    Also, were all of your opinions on parenting validated when you had children? Or were there a few rules that you bent or changed once you experienced the reality? If they were, then you are the rare individual that had it all figured out before having a kid. If, however, you're like the vast majority of the population, there are some ideas you had before becoming a parent that didn't pan out once the kid arrived.

    But in the end, it comes down to this: Don't give out advice or write judgmental posts about other people's parenting. It's not something you can affect and it's not the business of anyone except the parents'. Cases where the law is being broken are of course excluded from that panacea.
    ttcbelieve wrote: »
    Me :wink: but it may be because I spent a lot of time and information before having an opinion and also because I am a late parent, who had a lot of ideas of how I wanted to parent and what parenting is before I became a parent. While there have been some changes, it has been very minimal and has more to do with experiencing how the kids develop than any parenting style changes

    Oh, I see you are claiming to be someone that had it all figured out and only had to make minimal changes.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    In for later
    mrw-i-skip-class-to-watch-a-soccer-game-but-then-i-find-out-the-game-isnt-on-till-later-97850.gif
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    ttcbelieve wrote: »
    Mr_Knight wrote: »
    I don't know a single parent IRL who didn't have substantial opinion changes on any number of parenting issues once the kids actually arrived.

    Me

    I don't know you IRL.

  • ttcbelieve
    ttcbelieve Posts: 181 Member
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    brower47 wrote: »

    Oh, I see you are claiming to be someone that had it all figured out and only had to make minimal changes.

    Not at all. I simple had specific opinions about parenting while I was a non parent, and those opinions have not changed much since I have been a parent. Its probable becomes my opinion about parenting was that it will be very hard, it will be very difficult but I should focus on the interest of the child and not what is convenient for me. Sometimes I'll get it right, sometime I'll get it wrong and that's ok, sometimes I'll cry, sometimes I cant handle it. Being a parent has not changed that opinion, it has simply proved it. maybe I simple had a realistic opinion about parenting, read a lot of books, I was a child once and I've been around parents and seen the good, the bad and the ugly. I don't think being informed and having an opinion is a bad thing, but I may be wrong. there are lots of other things that I have had opinions on and when I experience it, I have been so very wrong...not parenting..what I thought it would be is what it turned out to be
  • ttcbelieve
    ttcbelieve Posts: 181 Member
    edited January 2015
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    brower47 wrote: »


    But in the end, it comes down to this: Don't give out advice or write judgmental posts about other people's parenting. It's not something you can affect and it's not the business of anyone except the parents'. Cases where the law is being broken are of course excluded from that panacea.

    I agree that people should not be judgemental about other people's parenting I do not think it is right or fair, you never know what the circumstances are. you can have an opinion (and as someone has said, I have a right not to agree with your opinion). but please don't be judgemental

    My thoughts are that this goes both for parents and non parents. its unfair to give a pass to parents and say they can be judgemental about other parents parenting but non parents cannot be judgemental.

    I do not think anyone should be judgemental(parents & non-parents) about anyone's parenting, unless in the case you have mentioned..i.e the law