Food and Parenting

Parent of a 14 year old here. My thoughts are that I want my dd to make healthy choices but not make extreme choices. Since she was young, we have talked about nutrition. We've discussed balancing the different food groups. We have books about nutrition. We've talked about some foods being sometimes foods. I cook a lot. I let her decide what to eat because Ibelieve that she has a right to decide. I ask her to try the food I serve before rejecting it but don't force her to eat things she doesn't like. She makes pretty decent choices but still eats fast food or packaged foods sometimes. She is not overweight at all and rarely gets sick.
I think it is naive to think you will control everything your child eats after they are old enough to obtain food on their own. From a young age your child can buy food and drinks without your permission. They will be given food and drink by many other people- family, friends, school, coaches, neighbors for example. It is better to give them information and access to a variety of foods, IMO, than to make foods off limits.

ttcbelieve wrote: »

brower47 wrote: »

Without experience, those "excellent and valid" suggestions are just shots in the dark. It would be akin to me giving advice about sky diving. Could I possibly get lucky and give some spot on advice? Sure, even a broken clock is correct twice a day. But it's much more likely that I'll just be talking out of my bum.

I do not think you are talking out of your bum, I think your points are valid however most suggestions are shots from the dark even if they come from parents. This is why in my opinion being a non parent does not mean your suggestions are less valid than a parent. Case in point. I had a parent say its ok to give your 2yr old zero calorie sugar substitute flavoured water because it'll get them to drink water and they did it with their kids and there is no side effect. Thanks but no thanks...I'll pass on the suggestion from the "experienced" parents and go with the non parents who says keep trying to give them the water.

What exactly is wrong with that?

I am seriously ashamed of myself for raising my son on iffy-quality food. I'm very lucky that he went off to college, went crazy with tons of junk, and then said, "I gotta eat better!" He did that on his own and I'm so proud of him for it.

I think it is great how so many people here are changing their habits and teaching their kids better habits than they grew up with! But that doesn't mean the kids can't ever have a treat.

Also, kids are so difficult, food-wise. So many of them are like, "No, that's a new color, I'm not eating it. No, I never smelled that before, I'm not eating it. Just give me a hot dog, please." There aren't a lot of kids who are like, "Yay!! New food that looks and smells like nothing I've seen before! Can't wait to put it in my mouth!!!"

Babies, especially. If they don't like it, they spit it out. Do you have any idea how many babies show up in the pediatrician's office because they've turned orange? The parents are like, "He won't eat the green veggies or meat, so I just give him carrots every night. If I don't, he gets no vegetables." It's a common tale.

Parents are doing the best they can. Frankly, there are so many horrible people out there who are actually abusing and neglecting their children that the anger directed toward the Nutty Bars might be better directed elsewhere. IMO.

OP - Seeing how strongly you feel about food that... isn't real..?, I pray to the universe your future child is not like mine. I have the pickiest 2 year old when it comes to which fruits and veggies he will eat. I'm sorry to tell you this, but that's how a LOT of kids are. Like many others said, the best thing you can do is to teach them what is healthy and not so healthy. And moderation. Rewards for good behavior, such as eating their fruits and veggies perhaps ? Hmm.. were you deprived as a child of the amazingness that is not REAL food as you say? I highly doubt it.

I try to do what I do with my diet for the kids 80/20

80% fresh, healthy, foods. 20% treats. But we try to make healthier treats. Being coeliac rules out a lot for us.

But to have a healthy relationship we need to stop calling foods good or bad. Food is just food.

We eat cakes and chips etc but EVERYTHING in moderation. We love making chickpea and choc chip cookies, it's about making the best with what you can do. Every Friday and Saturday night we have movie night at homes so we have a small amount of junk food.

I want my girls to have a healthy relationship with food, when they have had enough they stop...

melimomTARDIS wrote: »

TheVirgoddess wrote: »

BrownEyedBetty wrote: »

I mean to offend no one. I'm just saying I personally would not feed that stuff to my children even with a balanced diet. If they want a
cookie I will make them from stratch instead of buying the ones that come in a box is all I am saying

I love the declarations of non-parents about how they will parent. It's adorable.

Yeah I had thoughts about how I would parent too, that turned out to be totally wrong.

We do eat some packaged foods, and I have a kid with severe dietary limitations, (as a result of a sensory disorder) and he doesn't eat a whole lot of variety as a result.

Lots of smooth peanut butter,store bought bread, fruit leathers and milk for that one. All processed foods.

The only rules we have about food- we eat at the table for meals, your plate must have a plant (fruit, veggie or small glass of juice) a protien, and a "bread".( crackers,dinner roll,cereal,pancake,pasta,rice...)

We don't have sugar soda in the house (I tell my kids it's bad for their teeth). We encourage them to drink water, or some milk as a "protien" with one of their meals or afternoon snack.

I like the plant, protein, bread rule. My kids are pretty good in that they don't drink soda (or even juice really except for special occasions) and they eat a decent variety of things. However, they don't eat much of anything and my oldest is quite small (under 10th percentile) and so if he will eat an entire container of Easy Mac, versus a begrudging bite or two of salmon, quinoa and asparagus, I would rather him have the calories of the processed food AND some of the other stuff on his plate for him to try and decide if he likes it.

Oh and tonight the kids had cheese quesadilla, tortilla chips, apple slices and homemade applesauce for dinner. I had chili, cookies, and wine. I think they ate more "real food" than I did...

Lol, we have one break from "plant, protien,bread" ( if you read my diary, you'll see I play too) and that is for cheese pizza. As a mother I need the occasional "food issues" sanity break.

My son grins from ear to ear when the pizza is served, and says (everytime!) "the crust is the bread, the sauce is the plant, and the cheese is the Protien!"

Close enough son, close enough.

my daughter eats whatever shes given thankfully because ive always given her what i cook (she was 3 before she started to eat)

for snacks she likes cheese, fruit or my homemade baked goods but she also appreciates a nice bit of chocolate or some ice cream and sometimes crisps or prepackaged biscuits

you dont know what child you will get. my daughter was exclusivly tube fed for 3 years and then tube fed over night till she was 7 because i couldnt get enough food into her to meet her calorie needs

i started off feeding her fruit, vegetables and lean meats only with her dietitian and peadiatritian telling me i needed to give some calorie dense foods in there since she burns so much moving and well just breathing (disabled child with mulitple health problems)

when i relaxed and started offering her foods that give more calories per pop we could finally get rid of that tube

she understands that everything in balance is good and that exercise is hugely important. i take her with me if im going for a run or a walk, either in her chair or she will give it a go with her splints. she also attends a dance school who are very understanding of her movement issues but get that its good for her to do something physical and of course the social element

what hacks me off no end is strangers offering me their unsolicited advice both fellow parents and non parents because they havnt the first clue about her life and issues

I saw a documentary on netflix, featuring kids that for one reason or another get taken from their parents homes. One of the first things the cops on the documentary looked for in the kid's home was for food. As in, Is there any/enough?

Honestly, I am providing adequate calories for growth, offering new foods, and trying to stay sane in the process. Isnt that what most of us are doing with our kids? Cant that be enough?

Laurend224 wrote: »

melimomTARDIS wrote: »

I saw a documentary on netflix, featuring kids that for one reason or another get taken from their parents homes. One of the first things the cops on the documentary looked for in the kid's home was for food. As in, Is there any/enough?

Honestly, I am providing adequate calories for growth, offering new foods, and trying to stay sane in the process. Isnt that what most of us are doing with our kids? Cant that be enough?

Yes. It is!

Some days I just want a minute alone to pee! I have been a stay at home mom since I was put on bed rest with my 3rd baby, so 3 + years now. And some days I just need a break. Some days I just don't have it in me to soak beans, bake bread, or even heat veggie burgers. That's what Chinese take out is for!

As if food is the ONLY item of parenting I need to worry about! I also am potty training one, helping the other learn to read,washing/folding/putting away basket after basket of laundry, clipping fingernails, walking the dog,wiping up vomit, staying up late and waking up EARLY. I am sorry that in addition to that i didnt bake cookies. LOL.

Added- I have been a stay at home mom for a little less than 3 years now. Before that I worked part-time when I had "only" one child, whenever we needed the money.