The not-so-subtle 'fat' comments

xkitxkatxkaix
xkitxkatxkaix Posts: 368 Member
edited November 9 in Motivation and Support
This is going to sound kind of weird, but has anyone else felt an odd sense of motivation when you received the "So when are you due?'' (knowing damn well you're not) comment?
Recently I got that, then I got the "Oh the bigger girl helped me last time" whilst talking with a customer, then I got a cheeky "/You/ need to go to a gym" comment (this was with friendly banter but it still got me a bit) and an accidental "chunky". I'm completely fed up with this and instead of mentally throat punching people like I have been I'm just going to start kicking my own *kitten* now. Don't get me wrong, in no way am I okay with any of this and /may/ have had a couple mental breakdowns because I got so down on myself. But I'm just tired of it.
Am I weird in allowing that stuff to light a fire under me or are there others out there?
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Replies

  • lizzie6580
    lizzie6580 Posts: 8 Member
    I usually call people out on their comments when they make them. I will say something in sarcastic tone like "gee, thanks, that makes me feel great" or "Wow, that was nice" or "thanks for the nice compliment." Usually the person who just made the comment feels bad and apologizes for what they said. I think people say things without thinking, and I like to make them think. ;-) I probably shouldn't get that upset, but I do. I don't know if it motivates me to lose weight, but it sure does make me feel like crap.
  • xkitxkatxkaix
    xkitxkatxkaix Posts: 368 Member
    Heh, I must be weird then. It definitely makes me feel like total crap after words but then again it does motivate me so lose it so that I don't get those comments anymore.
  • Happyginger32
    Happyginger32 Posts: 3
    I get the same thing. I guess I can deal with the chunky and big girl comments but when someone asks my due date that's when it hurts. I'm working on my weight but also trying to realize that I'm healthy and it's ok.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    People did that to me a lot when I was fat, asking about my nonexistent pregnancy. That really pushed my buttons. I'd give them a furious glare and spit out "I'm not pregnant, I'm just FAT!" For the other comments "you should go to a gym" etc my response was always "Did I ask you how to live my life? No? Then mind your own business and shut the f**k up!" I pull no punches with people like that.

    Of course it's not wrong to get fit and lose weight. Make sure however that it is for your personal benefit and not for those mouthy aholes out there!!! Because in order to to all that work to make a permanent lifestyle change, you gotta want the benefit for yourself more so than just avoiding loudmouth jerks.
  • xkitxkatxkaix
    xkitxkatxkaix Posts: 368 Member
    gothchiq wrote: »
    People did that to me a lot when I was fat, asking about my nonexistent pregnancy. That really pushed my buttons. I'd give them a furious glare and spit out "I'm not pregnant, I'm just FAT!" For the other comments "you should go to a gym" etc my response was always "Did I ask you how to live my life? No? Then mind your own business and shut the f**k up!" I pull no punches with people like that.

    Of course it's not wrong to get fit and lose weight. Make sure however that it is for your personal benefit and not for those mouthy aholes out there!!! Because in order to to all that work to make a permanent lifestyle change, you gotta want the benefit for yourself more so than just avoiding loudmouth jerks.

    Everything you said is pretty spot on. No one should do a life change like that because other people forced them to. I know that I need to take much better care of my body then I have been in the past year and it shows at this point.
  • Will_Run_for_Food
    Will_Run_for_Food Posts: 561 Member
    A few years ago when I visited my grandma after my first few months of university, the first thing she said was "Look how fat your face is!". That was enough to get me going :)
  • xkitxkatxkaix
    xkitxkatxkaix Posts: 368 Member
    Oooooh my goodness that's terrible.
  • rossinator63
    rossinator63 Posts: 36 Member
    Tell them they are rude (they are), and walk away. If you didn't ask their opinion, then you don't have to take their rudeness. It is not intended to motivate you, it is intended to make them feel better about themselves at your expense.
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
    I used to get the "when are you due" comments all the time. I would reply with "Not pregnant, just fat. Thanks!" and smile. It was always fun to watch the person squirm. And I got them a lot. I'm 28 and been married for almost 5 years. Apparently, its impossible for someone close to 30 who has been married for a few years to not be trying to get pregnant.

    I almost rejoiced the day someone asked me "when did you have the baby" because apparently I wasn't fat enough anymore to look pregnant and simply looked postpartum.
  • LandyBreigh
    LandyBreigh Posts: 207 Member
    People are jerks. I've been a banker for close to 17 years, working with customers daily. When I was 'fat,' I'd get the comments of "the big girl," "when are you due," "my daughter is big too..."

    And when I lost a ton of weight (since gained a lot back), I heard " I liked it better when you were fat," "Oh, did you have surgery?" "Are you sick?"

    What the hell! Which is it? Fat, thin.....

    To hell with all the *kitten*, do what YOU want to do, stand up for yourself and make YOU feel comfortable with yourself, no matter what weight or clothing size.
  • xkitxkatxkaix
    xkitxkatxkaix Posts: 368 Member
    I agree, I wish I had the gumption like gothichiq above and tell everyone off but, eh. The one lady who asked about the nonexistent baby blamed it on the fact that I was wearing a belt around my waist and she only ever did that when she was pregnant.

    Um... wut. ._.
  • aelphabawest
    aelphabawest Posts: 173 Member
    I love deliberately making people like that awkward. "So when are you due?" "I'm not. When are you?" (even if they're a guy)

    "Chunky, etc." = (dead pan) "Thank you so much for your unsolicited input on my appearance. Do you have any more?" (They won't, unless they're a complete b!ch. If they do respond, try "I'd return the favor, but I honestly don't pay enough attention to you to notice.")

    ... but I might just be a bit snarky.
  • xkitxkatxkaix
    xkitxkatxkaix Posts: 368 Member
    Oh gahl some of the responses on here are just plain funny. Man I wish I had the quick enough wit to say some of these. Although I did almost call a customer a b**** when he told me to go to the gym. Does that count? Lol
  • tesha_chandler
    tesha_chandler Posts: 378 Member
    When people pay my bills, they can tell me to go to the gym. Otherwise, they can take their unwanted, obnoxious opinion and shove it.
    The only motivation I get from rude comments is to help people who are struggling instead of making them want to run to food even more.
  • DanniB423
    DanniB423 Posts: 777 Member
    These get me motivated AFTER I cry my eyes out. Lol I posted a month or so go about a sitatution where a little girl in my first grader's class called me and another Mom fat. It upset me big time but mostly because my little girl was sad and hurt for me... But as twisted as it is.. I have been BUSTING my tail and making amazing progress.
  • DanniB423
    DanniB423 Posts: 777 Member
    I also wonder what planet these people are from with these comments. Just things I could NEVER imagine saying to someone out of common decency. Some are just clueless.
  • xkitxkatxkaix
    xkitxkatxkaix Posts: 368 Member
    DanniBuchanan1 wrote: »
    I also wonder what planet these people are from with these comments. Just things I could NEVER imagine saying to someone out of common decency. Some are just clueless.

    Preach it sister.
  • theskinnyonme
    theskinnyonme Posts: 443 Member
    My family used to refer to me as the smart sister and my little sister as the pretty sister. She was 5'3 size 0. I am 5'10 at the time size 16-18, though now I m a 12, working on a 10. I just use it all as motivation.
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  • xkitxkatxkaix
    xkitxkatxkaix Posts: 368 Member
    theskinnyonme wrote: »
    My family used to refer to me as the smart sister and my little sister as the pretty sister. She was 5'3 size 0. I am 5'10 at the time size 16-18, though now I m a 12, working on a 10. I just use it all as motivation.

    Mm-mm, you work it girl. And for the record you are stunning too!
  • Of_Monsters_and_Meat
    Of_Monsters_and_Meat Posts: 1,022 Member
    I think I have to rethink my life. My current bar pickup line is "Are you pregnant?" followed by "You want to be?"
  • randomworldgirl
    randomworldgirl Posts: 106 Member
    You could always rephrase their comment/question back at them... "Did you just say my face is fat? I wasn't sure if I heard you correctly." or "Did you just ask me when I'm due? Because the last time I checked, I wasn't pregnant." or "Oh, you say my sister is pretty the pretty 'one,' however, my friends say I'm beautiful."
  • CatLady1309
    CatLady1309 Posts: 59
    When I was at my heaviest I went swimming once and had someone say "Swimming is great for pregnancy".I responded" Great info,I'll keep that in mind when I'm actually pregnant" :p
  • teagirlmedium
    teagirlmedium Posts: 679 Member
    I do not get that way when people make weight comments to me. I get that way when people call me weak. That is because I want biceps that feel like bricks.
  • markiend
    markiend Posts: 461 Member
    Had an ex mention my belly once, proved 2 things.. she wasn't the one and that I had actually got a little fat. Sometimes it's the way it's said and not the message I guess
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    this is a healthy reaction.

    any real or perceived reference to your out-of-shape-ness spurring you toward smart healthy change ... i say good job.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    teagirlmedium wrote: »
    I do not get that way when people make weight comments to me. I get that way when people call me weak. That is because I want biceps that feel like bricks.

    this is me.

    I am terrified as being viewed as weak, unintelligent or expendable.

  • belgerian
    belgerian Posts: 1,059 Member
    After I lost a bunch people started telling me to go eat a sandwich or I was anorexic. I was really just at my optimum weight. I also got the are you sick comments also.
  • Firefly1961
    Firefly1961 Posts: 1
    <3
  • xkitxkatxkaix
    xkitxkatxkaix Posts: 368 Member
    belgerian wrote: »
    After I lost a bunch people started telling me to go eat a sandwich or I was anorexic. I was really just at my optimum weight. I also got the are you sick comments also.

    To an extent I can relate. One of my closest friends is very petite (for the first time ever in 24 years of life she is now 101lbs). There's nothing wrong with her, just happens to have a wicked fast metabolism. In high school she would try to eat a bunch of junk food to gain weight but to no avail. So in the end she gave up and decided to just be healthy.
    Those comments are just as bad.
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