The not-so-subtle 'fat' comments
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So what are you going to do when people start calling you a "Skinny B*"?0
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My response, " Yeah, you're ugly as hell and I can diet "0
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xkitxkatxkaix wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »No, I just had people say I'm fat. I think the only time I remember someone trying to be "covert" was that I had commented on an article about a hiker who had gotten into trouble. I pointed out some tactical errors made by that hiker, and how they could have avoided such situation. I prefaced by mentioning that I hike quite a bit. A response was made to my comment of something to the effect of, "You don't look like you hike beyond the refrigerator, fatty." Other than that, people just call me fat.
That's terrible! I'm so sorry.
To troll them you could pull a Mo'Nique and say Yes I am Fabulous And Thick! *diva hair toss*
(I did that years ago and my friend almost died laughing)
Right... as a guy, it isn't so easy to do that. Also, I'm bald so no hair toss.0 -
xkitxkatxkaix wrote: »DanniBuchanan1 wrote: »I also wonder what planet these people are from with these comments. Just things I could NEVER imagine saying to someone out of common decency. Some are just clueless.
Preach it sister.
Srsly like the ONE thing that I thought everyone knew that you never ever say to someone is "when are you due". What rock do people live under that they haven't learned that?
I guess people can tell by looking at me not to say that kind of ish, but if someone did ever comment on my physical appearance, I would gladly return the favor and list off all of their flaws for them.
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chivalryder wrote: »So what are you going to do when people start calling you a "Skinny B*"?
"Why yes, I am a skinny BEAST. It's okay, I know that's what you meant." *exit stage left*0 -
My sister once asked "when are you due" to a 50-something woman once. She was serious. I pretended I didn't know her.0
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I just tell them I'm going to eat their children. Shuts 'em up every time.0
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midwesterner85 wrote: »My sister once asked "when are you due" to a 50-something woman once. She was serious. I pretended I didn't know her.
...Ouch.0 -
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Will_Run_for_Food wrote: »A few years ago when I visited my grandma after my first few months of university, the first thing she said was "Look how fat your face is!". That was enough to get me going
Oh girl I feel you. Christmas of 2014 I visited my grandmother and she hugged me, then looked me over and said "Oh Whitney, you're not pregnant again are you?"
(I only have 2 kids but for her it is PLENTY) I said "No Granny, I'm just fluffy" she replied "Yeah, you are." I was like Merry EFFING Christmas lol (I didn't say that, just thought it)0 -
I think we all get that comment about looking fat. I've gotten I didn't realize how big you had gotten and that was from a family member at a family funeral. I was hurt beyond belief. I went to the car and just broke down and started crying. I have heard, "man she's got more rolls than a bakery", or "don't they see themselves in the mirror" - sometimes I want to tell people that it must be a mighty fine bakery or no, we don't see ourselves in one mirror - it takes two to get the full image!
- People don't think. I have a friend at work who likes to say "It's a fat girl thing" and at first it made me feel like I belonged to some group. But sometimes people don't have to say anything at all. When I walk down the street and two women of average size are walking behind me talking and then I hear them laugh - I wonder are they talking about me?
- It affects your self-esteem. I feel self-conscious. My husband once said he didn't care how big I got and that was when I was much smaller than I am now. My Mom was horrified that he would say it let alone think it. She felt he should care about my health and how I looked.
- I've lost my weight twice before and each time I lost it, I got so many great comments but the one consistent one was, now you have to keep that weight off - you just didn't look like yourself. That's a difficult pill to swallow when your feeling good about your accomplishment.
- When you have no issues with food, you can't begin to understand the relationship a person might have with it. When your looking for comfort from hurtful words or things, someone else wanting to give you a hug just doesn't satisfy. Our minds are mini-us'. They keep us harping on what made us upset and it can be difficult to shut them up. But we all know we can do it. I have done it twice. I
- I plan to do it again and this time despite what anyone says keep it off because I know I can and I have the tools to do so. I've got a better support system in beautiful people like you, friends at work and family.
- So xkitxkatxkaix your not odd or weird - your normal and we all go through it. The difference is now we don't have to go through it alone - we have each other.0 -
I was once in a supermarket, and there was this little girl with her grandmother. The little girl turned around pointed at me and goes "grandma, that girl's fat". Grandma didn't hear her so she repeated it 3 times. Grandma finally heard, stopped the little girl from pointing and said "shhh, don't say things like that when they can hear you".
I just stood there I was so stunned, my brain and mouth disconnected from each other completely. I didn't care that the little girl said I was fat - she was being honest, and being a child. I could deal with that. But the grandmothers response? Until then, I'd never had the urge to slap an elderly person. If we want peoples 'sizist' attitudes to change, that old geezers life lessons to her grandchild certainly won't help.
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mangrothian wrote: »I was once in a supermarket, and there was this little girl with her grandmother. The little girl turned around pointed at me and goes "grandma, that girl's fat". Grandma didn't hear her so she repeated it 3 times. Grandma finally heard, stopped the little girl from pointing and said "shhh, don't say things like that when they can hear you".
I just stood there I was so stunned, my brain and mouth disconnected from each other completely. I didn't care that the little girl said I was fat - she was being honest, and being a child. I could deal with that. But the grandmothers response? Until then, I'd never had the urge to slap an elderly person. If we want peoples 'sizist' attitudes to change, that old geezers life lessons to her grandchild certainly won't help.
That's awful. Don't people hear themselves when they speak?0 -
rossinator63 wrote: »Tell them they are rude (they are), and walk away. If you didn't ask their opinion, then you don't have to take their rudeness. It is not intended to motivate you, it is intended to make them feel better about themselves at your expense.
Not so sure about "rude" in the case of misplaced pregnancy questions.
If you look pregnant, people will want to celebrate with you and the questions will come.
People are just trying to be supportive and excited about a baby.0 -
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Just had my 4 year old 'jiggle' my belly! Thanks mate lol I resisted telling him that it was his fault i had a wobbly belly (it's not) instead said some mummy's bellys jiggle and some don't, mine does now but I want to make it smaller so it doesn't any more to get the response 'awww I like it'0
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rossinator63 wrote: »Tell them they are rude (they are), and walk away. If you didn't ask their opinion, then you don't have to take their rudeness. It is not intended to motivate you, it is intended to make them feel better about themselves at your expense.
Not so sure about "rude" in the case of misplaced pregnancy questions.
If you look pregnant, people will want to celebrate with you and the questions will come.
People are just trying to be supportive and excited about a baby.
Ew, a stranger's baby???? I will never understand why people think that a woman's body is public property like that. To me, it's supremely invasive to the point of being disgusting.
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I can honestly say, I've rarely gotten comments on my size. I have gotten a couple of "when are you due?" questions, and I make that hilariously awkward by giving them my best wide-eyed guileless look and ask "due for what?" and when they try to back track, I keep pressing them for an answer. Funsies.
My favourite moment though was a while back when I was having a crack at C25K and I jogged past a bunch of teenage boys. One called out "lose some weight, fatass!", so I stopped, looked at him and said "What the *kitten* does it look like I'm doing, Captain Obvious? Got any other pearls of wisdom?" His friends all cracked up and started piling *kitten* on him. It was great.0 -
I had a coworker ask me if I was expecting. I said "No, I've just got a big fat *kitten*" and that pretty much shut her up.0
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Alatariel75 wrote: »I can honestly say, I've rarely gotten comments on my size. I have gotten a couple of "when are you due?" questions, and I make that hilariously awkward by giving them my best wide-eyed guileless look and ask "due for what?" and when they try to back track, I keep pressing them for an answer. Funsies.
My favourite moment though was a while back when I was having a crack at C25K and I jogged past a bunch of teenage boys. One called out "lose some weight, fatass!", so I stopped, looked at him and said "What the *kitten* does it look like I'm doing, Captain Obvious? Got any other pearls of wisdom?" His friends all cracked up and started piling *kitten* on him. It was great.
I got a 'run fatty run' from some kids turned around and said that at least im doing something about my negative points, you however need to take a look at yourself and consider how your words can effect people, carried on running to the sound of stuned silence0 -
rossinator63 wrote: »Tell them they are rude (they are), and walk away. If you didn't ask their opinion, then you don't have to take their rudeness. It is not intended to motivate you, it is intended to make them feel better about themselves at your expense.
Not so sure about "rude" in the case of misplaced pregnancy questions.
If you look pregnant, people will want to celebrate with you and the questions will come.
People are just trying to be supportive and excited about a baby.
Ew, a stranger's baby???? I will never understand why people think that a woman's body is public property like that. To me, it's supremely invasive to the point of being disgusting.
Have you been pregnant? Most of the time people are very sweet. It's usually older women and they're genuinely happy for you! There are some people who are more obnoxious about it, but not many.
I was pleased to see people so excited about a new baby -- even strangers. It seemed like a sign that there is still hope for our society. 0 -
rossinator63 wrote: »Tell them they are rude (they are), and walk away. If you didn't ask their opinion, then you don't have to take their rudeness. It is not intended to motivate you, it is intended to make them feel better about themselves at your expense.
Not so sure about "rude" in the case of misplaced pregnancy questions.
If you look pregnant, people will want to celebrate with you and the questions will come.
People are just trying to be supportive and excited about a baby.
Ew, a stranger's baby???? I will never understand why people think that a woman's body is public property like that. To me, it's supremely invasive to the point of being disgusting.
Yes! I feel like, even though I get called fat occasionally, I'm sure it isn't even close to 1/10th as often as heavy women are called fat. And, as someone else pointed out, if a woman is skinny, they get called out for being skinny instead. I believe you are right... men don't hear this as much, but society in general feels comfortable pointing out women's flaws because society in general feels like women have an obligation to make themselves look perfect for the rest of society.0 -
midwesterner85 wrote: »rossinator63 wrote: »Tell them they are rude (they are), and walk away. If you didn't ask their opinion, then you don't have to take their rudeness. It is not intended to motivate you, it is intended to make them feel better about themselves at your expense.
Not so sure about "rude" in the case of misplaced pregnancy questions.
If you look pregnant, people will want to celebrate with you and the questions will come.
People are just trying to be supportive and excited about a baby.
Ew, a stranger's baby???? I will never understand why people think that a woman's body is public property like that. To me, it's supremely invasive to the point of being disgusting.
Yes! I feel like, even though I get called fat occasionally, I'm sure it isn't even close to 1/10th as often as heavy women are called fat. And, as someone else pointed out, if a woman is skinny, they get called out for being skinny instead. I believe you are right... men don't hear this as much, but society in general feels comfortable pointing out women's flaws because society in general feels like women have an obligation to make themselves look perfect for the rest of society.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Seriously an audience just went berserk in my head while reading this.0 -
rossinator63 wrote: »Tell them they are rude (they are), and walk away. If you didn't ask their opinion, then you don't have to take their rudeness. It is not intended to motivate you, it is intended to make them feel better about themselves at your expense.
Not so sure about "rude" in the case of misplaced pregnancy questions.
If you look pregnant, people will want to celebrate with you and the questions will come.
People are just trying to be supportive and excited about a baby.
If you don't know the person -- ie: complete stranger -- shut your mouth.
If it is a co-worker ASK someone before opening your mouth (there was a girl I worked with who I didn't know if she was pregnant or just gained weight so instead of approaching her and saying "CONGRATS!" I asked someone. Turns out she was indeed pregnant).
If it is someone you know, well obviously you'd know whether or not they were pregnant.
Rule of thumb: When in doubt: SHUT YOUR MOUTH.
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I've always wanted someone to ask me if I'm pregnant so I could use the following:
"Yes... I'm pregnant with a baby elephant. Want to see it's trunk?"0 -
Meh, just find something about them and insult them back
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I don't know - to me truth is truth. If it's not meant in a mean way then it's our own dang fault if we take offense.
For instance, if I saw two people in the same clothes and one was an Asian woman and one was black would I be wrong to identify one as 'Asian' and other as black?
If one was heavy and the other was thin, why would it be considered insensitive to use the most obvious distinguisher to identify one from the other? If I'm with a young brunette mom who is thin but otherwise we look alike, then for someone to call me the older mom (I have grey hair) or the heavier mom is not a big deal to me. It's truth.
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I started my weight loss journey a year ago and sometime in June 2014 I found I was losing motivation. Well there was an incident where I had a couple of "friends" who were and still are dating and they got into a huge fight at my house. I sent them to bed because they were a bit tipsy and the male came into my room to try and perform sexual activities with me. I tried kicking him out causing a scene in front of his girlfriend (who had been sleeping through it all) and all he said to her was "She's lying, why would I want to f**k her, she's fat as f**k?!?!?" At that point I grabbed him by his neck and threw him out of my apartment - never spoke to either of them again. That was a *kitten* situation but it pushed me to keeping going hard and I have steadily lost weight since (minus Christmas.)
Just felt like this story was worth putting in this thread. It was a *kitten* situation and sucked, but I turned it into a positive outcome 0 -
I find it a little sad and frustrating that when people in an argument with a heavy set person, the first thing they bring up is their weight. Oh we are breaking up? Well yeah you are fat. Oh you don't agree with my political views? Yeah well you are fat. It is so immature. Like that is the ONLY way to argue? Because they know that is where it hurts most.
And it annoys me that it seems like strangers think they have this right to bad mouth heavy people. Anywhere, any time around anyone. Heavy people have targets on them no matter where they go. Is it really any surprise so many become hermits and rarely leave the house?0 -
I started my weight loss journey a year ago and sometime in June 2014 I found I was losing motivation. Well there was an incident where I had a couple of "friends" who were and still are dating and they got into a huge fight at my house. I sent them to bed because they were a bit tipsy and the male came into my room to try and perform sexual activities with me. I tried kicking him out causing a scene in front of his girlfriend (who had been sleeping through it all) and all he said to her was "She's lying, why would I want to f**k her, she's fat as f**k?!?!?" At that point I grabbed him by his neck and threw him out of my apartment - never spoke to either of them again. That was a *kitten* situation but it pushed me to keeping going hard and I have steadily lost weight since (minus Christmas.)
Just felt like this story was worth putting in this thread. It was a *kitten* situation and sucked, but I turned it into a positive outcome
(O_O) ... Oh. My. Gosh. I am so incredibly sorry that you had to go through all of that. That was by far the most intense story I've heard so far today. Truly, I am so sorry.0
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