Who Pays?!

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Replies

  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Congrats!

    I like the idea of brides paying for at least part of the bridesmaid ensemble (because there's more than just the dress - shoes, jewelry, hairdo, etc) and the more picky the bride is, the more she should pay for IMHO. OP, sounds like you found some reasonable dresses. Feel free to pay for part of them or maybe foot the bill for something else like a set of jewelry you'd like them to wear or the matching shoes.

    One of my friends bought our jewelry and I think she also paid to have our hair done...can't remember for sure, that was almost 15 years ago.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    melschaben wrote: »
    Thank you all for the responses! I think it's a great idea to split the cost. I think that would be a nice compromise. The dresses I am looking at are only about $50-$75 so that wouldn't be too much of a budget breaker. It's going to be a small wedding so I only have 2 bridesmaids.

    I think that is very cool...I have a friend who has complained about spending $300+ on bridesmaid dress and then also having to pay for 2 plane tickets, 3 different gifts, and hundreds for her portion of a bachelorette party and shower. I can't imagine being out a thousand bucks (or more) to be someone's attendant...lol...I would opt out for sure. It sounds like your wedding won't be that sort of thing.
  • Organicgasm
    Organicgasm Posts: 592 Member
    I picked color and length and let my friend's choose their own because they were paying. But I was also a bridesmaid for my SIL's wedding (before my husband and I were married) and she picked it out and I bought it. I think it is sorta of a "gift" from your bridesmaid's that they buy their own dresses when you're paying for the whole wedding instead of your parents (a more modern concern) because they know how expensive weddings are. But if your friends are struggling financially helping out or buying them outright is a good thing to do.
  • WickedPineapple
    WickedPineapple Posts: 698 Member
    MinnieInMaine wrote: »
    Congrats!

    I like the idea of brides paying for at least part of the bridesmaid ensemble (because there's more than just the dress - shoes, jewelry, hairdo, etc) and the more picky the bride is, the more she should pay for IMHO. OP, sounds like you found some reasonable dresses. Feel free to pay for part of them or maybe foot the bill for something else like a set of jewelry you'd like them to wear or the matching shoes.

    One of my friends bought our jewelry and I think she also paid to have our hair done...can't remember for sure, that was almost 15 years ago.

    Agreed. Do you want their dresses, shoes, and jewelry all to match? Do you want their hair/nails to match? Then yeah, you should probably chip in. If it's only the dress and maybe saying (any) black dress shoes and whatever jewelry they want, then I wouldn't stress about splitting the cost. Unless the dress is super expensive, but it doesn't sound like the one you've chosen is.

    I've had brides pay for my jewelry as well. Usually it was the 'gift' to the bridesmaids from the bride.
  • beckibelgium
    beckibelgium Posts: 235 Member
    If I was ever to get married I would ask my bridesmaids (over 16)to buy their own as long as the colour was the same as my theme I would want them to be comfortable so they can pick the style length ect, I would pay to get their hair and make up done with me on the day but still ok for them to wear it how they were comfortable,if I had a child as a bridesmaid I would buy her dress but parents can buy shoes and I would make sure she was happy to wear it x
  • AkCyclist
    AkCyclist Posts: 1,200 Member
    I'm a groomsman in my brothers wedding at the end of March, and I'm paying for my own.
  • awilde4
    awilde4 Posts: 16 Member
    I've been in a few weddings and bought my dress for one and paid the seamstress for the other (bride bought the material)
    For my own wedding I bought the material and the seamstress was my step mother so she didn't charge.

    How traditional is the wedding? How old are the bridesmaids?
    I think it's pretty common now to have them buy their own dresses but it's also more common to be less formal so off the rack is more doable.
    The one wedding I was in we all bought from the bridesmaid collection in the same colour and fabric. It looked great, everyone got a style they liked and everyone was happy for a good price.
  • T1DCarnivoreRunner
    T1DCarnivoreRunner Posts: 11,502 Member
    I can't speak for brides, but my sister is getting married next month. When she asked last summer if I could be a part of it, I told her I couldn't commit 100% to being there and didn't want to sign up for something as a result.

    In Dec., she sent me a text telling me I need to get measured for a tux and gave me a code that it is under at the place to get measured. My brother got the same thing, and I got from him that apparently he and I are signed up to be ushers. I didn't realize that ushers wear tuxedo's, nor that I was going to be an usher, but ok, I'll do it.

    My brother had gone in to get measured and they wanted a deposit at that time ($25 I think) and then said the rest he could pay when he picked it up... and that was going to be close to $300 for the rental. He and I both were not going to pay that to rent a tux to be an usher... we both have suits we can wear. So I talked to my sister, who said they had since gotten that all squared away... they were going to pay for the tuxedo rentals.

    Personally, I feel a wedding isn't about the ceremony. It is good enough for me to do the paperwork to enjoy the legal benefits of marriage without the expensive fanfare. But I'm not a woman and I'm not married. I almost was married once, and we were going to do just that - get the paperwork done, but ran into some other legal issues with that. Anyway, I don't expect to be able to understand the desire to have a nice ceremony. From my experience with my sister, though, I urge clear communication regardless.
  • xcalygrl
    xcalygrl Posts: 1,897 Member
    edited January 2015
    The bridesmaids should pay for their own dresses, unless you want (have the funds) to offer.

    If you are choosing the dress/dresses, you should ask each bridesmaid (privately) what she is comfortable spending. Then find a few dresses that is lower than the lowest budget price you were given. If bridesmaids A, B, and C give you budgets of $100, $300, and $150; then you need to find a dress that is no more than $100.

    If you aren't chosing the dress/dresses, then give them basic guidelines (it should be knee-length or longer in a blush pink color) and let them do their own shopping.
  • patrickblo13
    patrickblo13 Posts: 831 Member
    Why don't brides pick out dresses for their bridesmaids that can actually be worn more than once? It just seems crazy to ask someone to spend money on something that they will most likely only wear once
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,959 Member
    edited January 2015
    Bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for their own stuff. If they don't want to, they should decline the invitation to be in the wedding party.

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