I cried today...I need all the help I can get!

24

Replies

  • janerfitnesspal145
    janerfitnesspal145 Posts: 55 Member
    I so understand what you're going through. Four+ years ago I hit my heaviest weight ever (230 pounds and I'm only 5' 4 1/2") and was so disgusted with myself. I dropped 10-20 pounds or so, then got lazy and stopped watching what I ate because I hated "dieting." Two years ago my husband found MFP and it's been a life changer. I've discovered that I don't need to restrict myself by the old school way of "dieting;" rather I now use the word diet as the simple way of showing what I eat, period. I've learned the fastest way to ensure failure is to restrict myself so that I end up overeating when I fight off the urge to eat something I'm really craving. I've also learned that exercise adds to my available calories, and oh yeah, it's good for me too. I'll admit that I slacked off part of 2014, due to moving across the country, and I gained some weight back, but I kept logging! I'm back on track now (thanks to my hubby's Christmas gift of a Fitbit Charge, which I love, love, love), so feel free to add me!
  • Yeah for You!! The first step to change is realizing you need it and you are the only one that can take the action to do something about it. All the advice here is very very good. I have two suggestions along with my encouragement. One, drink your water, it does help make you feel fuller and it is so good for your body. I have to set time goals for mine (i.e. by 10:00 I have 22 oz drank, etc.). Two, after you have spent some time on the treadmill and feel more comfortable exercising, you might try an exercise class, as it is a great way to meet people. Find something you like to do (I tried zumba and fell in love with it, plus have met some incredible people). That might help with the loneliness. Wish you the best on your journey and as stated above, it is a marathon not a sprint! :)
  • Look_at_me
    Look_at_me Posts: 8 Member
    I am not alone. Thank you (((ALL))). Your replies meant so much to me. Happy tears now. I don't expect miracles. I know it is going to be a journey with up and downs. I have enough humor to handle bad days.
    I will detox for 7 days with doctors approval. After that I will go on a healthy balanced diet. Lots of fruits, vegetables. Whole grains, green tea and healthy smoothies. Lean (organic) meat, lots of fish (what I love). I love to cook and have enough cook books with healthy recipes.
    I am in it to win it :-). I am so glad I am not alone. I am overwhelmed by the friends requests, messages and replies here. I am glad I came here...this feels right.
  • lilawolf
    lilawolf Posts: 1,690 Member
    Good attitude! Something like this happened to me: One day, I just said enough is enough! I never once looked back. Here are a few things that I'd suggest considering that helped me and/or that I've watched work for others on the 2.5 years that I've been on here:

    1. No food is "bad" food. Don't demonize food, and try to avoid guilt. Depending on what your diet used to be, having a week or two without any of the foods that you normally over-indulge in might be helpful for cravings. After that add in small amounts. It's very easy to fit a single glass of wine or a piece of chocolate into your calories. Your mental health, happiness, and being able to stick to this new lifestyle is just as important as the vitamins in a carrot stick. It's all about balance.
    2. Be honest with yourself. Log it if you ate it even if it wasn't the best choice. If you are over, look at your diet/exercise/hormones/feelings/etc and learn why you overate (and how to avoid it), acknowledge it and move on. NO GUILT. For instance, if I eat too many carbs and not enough protein/fat I end up overeating because I'm hungry. If I'm watching tv all day, I end up boredom snacking. Now, I make sure to keep water in front of me and go for a walk...
    3. Write in a journal (or draw or sing or ?) to try and express and understand your feelings, especially those that make you want to eat or drink.
    4. You have mourned the old you. Celebrate the new! Tell yourself every day how proud you are of the good choices that you made. Look in the mirror and say "I love you" and "I'm closer today than I was yesterday".
    5. Consider putting the scale away for a while if the daily fluctuations are making you feel demotivated. If you do this, you absolutely must stick to number 2 and LOG EVERYTHING.
    6. Take measurements. When you get to the end of the journey, you will seriously wish you did. (I wish I had). These can also help when the scale is being a lying B****
    7. Find a class (water aerobics at the Y will have many people your size/age so you won't feel self conscious, but you will also get respect if you work hard in ANY class) or a walking group in your area (craigslist can be a great resource or maybe even your doctor). Find other like minded people who are on a similar journey. This will help with the loneliness and keep you on track. MFP is a great place for friends/support too of course, but face to face can be better.
    8. Make sure to do your own research and listen to your body. Doctors often only take 1 nutrition class during school. A doctor is NOT a dietician. Here are some links to setting up your goals on MFP:
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13
    9. Take small steps. You don't need to be perfect today. You didn't gain it in a day and you won't lose it in a day. Don't make yourself miserable (or sick) by trying to go too fast too soon, but also be honest with yourself and push when you can. Balance my friend :)
    10. Never ever compare yourself to others. Don't worry about what "they" are eating, exercising they are doing, weight they are losing. Get ideas for meals and exercises but know that everyone has a different story. The only person you need to beat is the old you.

    Feel free to friend me or ask me questions. I will warn you that I'm at a very different place in my journey. Sometimes I'm bulking (gaining weight while strength training to gain muscle) and eating a huge amount of food, sometimes I'm cutting (losing fat while trying to maintain the muscle mass I gained), and sometimes I'm traveling to far off lands and not logging at all so my diary can be all over the place.

    Good luck!
  • BabyKiwi07
    BabyKiwi07 Posts: 69 Member
    First off * hugs* an congrats it's amazing that you decided to do this :) an the treadmill will be amazing help for you. Your going to do an amazing job at this you got this! This is the new year for the new you! Feel free to add me if ya like an then I'll help ya with any tips that I have an of course motivation :) you can do this!!!
  • donnysoule
    donnysoule Posts: 1,185 Member
    That's the spirit, you WILL do this.... I have faith and I think you'll be surprised how fast your energy and enthusiasm comes back Best of luck on your journey ;)
  • aliwhiten
    aliwhiten Posts: 2 Member
    Hi! I'm 52 and also am grieving my former perfect body! The last 4 years I've gained 60 lbs! Partially menopause & part just sitting on my butt!
    Please add me as a friend too - you can do this - I feel exactly like you described - just fed up & not understanding how I allowed this to happen!
    - I keep buying " stuff" ( fitness related) but am not USING it!! I'm using this app for the first time ever & just the food diary has enormously changed me! This is the first real progress I've had !
    - Let's do this together I need friends too
  • Holidaygirl16
    Holidaygirl16 Posts: 4 Member
    Hi I am 55 years young and know how you feel. Menopause and stress has been big factors with me. Lost 20 lbs when I was very stressed but now the stress is gone weight came back. I have been tracking, I use the fitbit charge and work out 3-4 times a week and my weight won't budge. Getting very frustrated!!
  • I'm right there with you sister! I'm 5'7 and as of this morning 251. But I am NOT depressed! I have a plan and I have a goal! I'm going to be under 200 by July 1. You can do it too. Guess what else? All I have is a treadmill. I've walked on it the last 2 nights and I feel wonderful about myself. I walked at what MFP called a leisurely pace at 2.5 mph, but I still did it for 50 min and 40 min. It's better than sitting on my butt! I am 40 and by 41 in August I'm going to be healthier and happier!
  • Holidaygirl16
    Holidaygirl16 Posts: 4 Member
    Congrats on the beginning of your new life. I started with 122 lbs to lose & am almost half way there. It's going rather slowly for me, I plan to be at exactly half way by my 1 year anniversary mid February. Feel free to add me.

  • Hi! Happy new year and new you! Congratulations, remember you're not alone obviously and that sticking to your goals- just doing it - without any excuse is the hardest but most valuable thing that will change your life. I'd love to add to this community of support! Add me if you'd like.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    You. Your attitude is awesome. You will make it.
  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
    Look_at_me wrote: »
    I will detox for 7 days with doctors approval. After that I will go on a healthy balanced diet.

    Good for you for deciding to make a change, but there is NO REASON to do a "detox." There is no poison in your body that your liver and kidneys and other filtration organs can't handle. If a doctor approved a detox, I would find a new doctor.

    Why not just start eating your healthy balanced diet today? You can do it. You don't have to go through a purification ritual first. You're more likely to burn out if you put yourself on a very low calorie diet (smoothies/meal replacement) or give up the pleasure of food.

    It might also help you to look why you started eating your emotions. Yes, you moved to a new place and haven't made friends, but you have your husband. You're not alone. You also have the opportunity to meet new friends. Maybe find a light activity you can do with other people that could help you meet new people and stay active? Many walking groups go at a leisurely pace and don't go past 1 mile anyway. There are also aqua aerobics classes that are low impact.
  • Eire228
    Eire228 Posts: 238 Member
    You almost made me cry reading that! Good for you for taking control of your life. Did you get your treadmill yet? I think it's amazing that you want to walk a mile every day, and know that it may start out very slowly. Even if you walk a quarter of a mile on day one, that's more than you did yesterday. Congrats, lady!! Welcome to the new you. :)
  • tj_travis
    tj_travis Posts: 5 Member
    edited January 2015
    I'd like to send this person an add request but don't know how. I just started again. This time I will succeed. I weigh 248# @ 5'5". Restarted here 3 days ago with determination.

  • Hello!
    I just wanted to say congratulations on being so honest with your self ! It's not easy! You figured out what type of relationship you have with food and you took the time to really look at yourself in the mirror instead of continuing to hide your body.
    As someone who lost 30lbs , I say with this personal experience: once you begin to live a healthier lifestyle, every other aspect of your life will improve. I PROMISE!!
    Here's the thing, once you start living healthier, your entire body is not only going to look better but feel better..including your MIND. You want to make more friends? Once you start getting energy, feel happier (naturally happens from exercise and nutrients) you can go out and do positive things and meet positive people..because you will WANT to (ex: volunteering or group exercise classes)! You will find a whole new confidence in where you can smile at others, say hi, introduce yourself; once you feel healthier, once you have more energy, once you are happier with your day to day choices...you just have to CHOOSE to put yourself out there.
    Now you can keep cooking...you like it so why not?? Now you have the opportunity to get creative..how do you make healthy versions of foods you love? You get to look online for delicious healthy recipes!
    You now have the opportunity to create a whole new world..AND YOUVE ALREADY STARTED!!
  • tj_travis
    tj_travis Posts: 5 Member
    edited January 2015
    You can do this.You've taken the first steps. I am also doing this. I weighed in at YMCA at 248# on Saturday. After I got off my pity trip ...;).
    I am serious about getting this weight off. I saved my old clothes, as when I bought them, I gained too fast to wear them. 5-7 lbs per week...what I gained! My goal weight by Dec ( or before) is to lose 100 lbs. You are welcome to look at my plans and screw ups ...also to give critique or kudos. Both are fine with me! :) The prize for the biggest weight loss in 2 months, in the competition at YMCA. ..is $500! I may or may not win, but it gives me a goal to strive for and a purpose. Best of wishes for you...for all of us! ADD ME , AS I dont know how to add people?
  • GCPgirl
    GCPgirl Posts: 208 Member
    The first step is to get yourself in the right mindset to want the change and you got it! It is a lifestyle change that you will be proud of. You have a support system here! I will send you a friend request...good luck!
  • MizzMaldy
    MizzMaldy Posts: 31 Member
    Congratulations on having the courage to be open, honest, and ready to change. You can do this. It doesn't matter how long it takes, slow progress is better than no progress at all. Good Luck!
  • madlynn2
    madlynn2 Posts: 22 Member
    Good luck to you on this journey! I have felt the same as you many times but you are right, WE just need to do this for ourselves. One thing I am doing different this time is logging everything.. even if I am WAY over calories. At least it keeps me honest. All the best to you.