Am I doomed to be overwight forever? Why am I not normal
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http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/win-or-learn/ Some great 2015 insight!0
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I feel the same way. I've been on and off Myfitnesspal for a while. I go through phases of healthy eating and exercise and then I give up somewhere along the way.
Four days ago ago I was lying down on my brother’s bed after stuffing rice and beans, pudding, a bowl of cereal, and a whole loaf of bread down my throat in 20 minutes after having a whole meal at a friend’s house. My stomach hurt. I was squinting my eyes and holding my hands against my aching chest. I felt so guilty and I hated myself a lot. I wanted to cry. I thought “I am never doing this to myself again.” Yet I know that that could be me again any second. I feel like I won't ever be able to give up on my bad habits....
Try to tell yourself that if you persist you will be guaranteed success. Calorie counting WILL work, if you're doing it right. When you make a mistake accept it and move on. I know that's kind of a dumb thing to say because when I overeat I want to give up because I feel like my progress has been erased. You have to be strong and occupy your mind with things other than food. You have to accept your current self.
I am 11 pounds lighter than I was at the beginning of this year. It happened without my attention. I've been dieting on and off all these months and thought I never made any real progress. I guess it’s because I feel the same way. I’m still fat, lonely, depressed, and anxious. But even this little triumph has showed me that I am capable of reaching my goal. It won’t happen in 2 weeks or 2 months. If I am diligent I’ll be there soon. I'll try my best to win against food. This is my recent realization.
Just sit down for a while and think about if you really want it. If you do, you'll get there one day. It won't happen magically. You have to work towards it. Accept that it won't be an easy road. Make peace with yourself.
Best of luck to you!0 -
I've felt this way before! Hang in there! Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) from the Beck diet really helped me. I listened to the book on tape over and over lol....things like when having a craving instead of thinking "this sucks, I want icecream" to thinking "This is hard and uncomfortable but the craving will pass. I'm getting closer to my goal"-1
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christinev297 wrote: »I used to think like you. Then I STUCK to a plan, and now I'm nearly at my goal weight.
Barring any medical conditions, then it's pretty simple. .. calories in V calories out.
Spot on. It is very easy, particularly in the world that we live in, to try multiple things and not get results. The hardest thing is finding something and sticking to it. I'm not talking about for a matter of weeks or months.
I'd suggest finding a reputable partner (eg a nutritionist, or a pt with nutrition experience), and committing to working with them for months. With my current coach I worked with her for three months, just to establish what my behaviours, lifestyle, body is like etc- before we even considered setting specific goals around weight loss etc. If you've been struggling for a long time I'd strongly recommend considering finding such a partner who can help you filter through the fads and volume of information we get exposed to, and help you stick to an approach for a considerable amount of time. While yes, I agree with what people are saying about calorific deficit- it's about learning how to do this in such a way that fits your own behaviours and life, in a way that will have long term commitment and long term goals.
good luck x
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It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.
Eat what you want, as long as you remain in your calorie deficit. I eat ice cream, chocolate, fast food, and pizza all the time, and I've lost 55 pounds in a year.
Oh heck no! What you eat does matter! Sure a person can lose weight on these foods but at the cost of good health. Even skinny people can have heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune responses and a myriad of other health problems related to poor diet.
I cringe every time someone in the FitnessPal community posts that all you need to do is take in fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. That may be true but the goal is good health and a lower weight is just one component of good health.-3 -
Drop the notion of "cheat days". When skinny people eat dessert they aren't "cheating", just eating dessert. Focus on eating healthy every day, one day at a time. When confronted with an unhealthy food it is okay to have a few bites...savor them...then log them into your food diary and keep eating healthy.-1
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Agreed.It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.
Eat what you want, as long as you remain in your calorie deficit. I eat ice cream, chocolate, fast food, and pizza all the time, and I've lost 55 pounds in a year.
Oh heck no! What you eat does matter! Sure a person can lose weight on these foods but at the cost of good health. Even skinny people can have heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune responses and a myriad of other health problems related to poor diet.
I cringe every time someone in the FitnessPal community posts that all you need to do is take in fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. That may be true but the goal is good health and a lower weight is just one component of good health.
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It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.
Eat what you want, as long as you remain in your calorie deficit. I eat ice cream, chocolate, fast food, and pizza all the time, and I've lost 55 pounds in a year.
Oh heck no! What you eat does matter! Sure a person can lose weight on these foods but at the cost of good health. Even skinny people can have heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune responses and a myriad of other health problems related to poor diet.
I cringe every time someone in the FitnessPal community posts that all you need to do is take in fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. That may be true but the goal is good health and a lower weight is just one component of good health.
and vegan's and vegetarians and paleo eating people can have those diseases as well.... so obviously your point is now gone...
People here want to lose weight - period. THAT is calories - period.0 -
I hate to be "that person" but it sounds like you're just not ready.
I thought the way you do for years. It was just too hard. Nothing would ever work and I should just give up.
One morning I woke up and thought "I can do this. I need to do this". I haven't looked back.
It needs to come from within yourself. No one can give you the motivation. I know its not the answer you're looking for, but it is what it is.0 -
What you need is a bit of confidence in yourself, a bit of success. Success breeds success. How about saying right now, I'm going to be successful at this for one week. Just one week. I'm going to weigh and measure everything, I'm going to have a calorie counted treat every day, and I'm going to eat really delicious fresh food and do an activity I find enjoyable - even if it's just dancing very privately round the living room to your favourite music. At the end of the week you will have lost weight, and even if it's just half a pound, you must give yourself huge congratulations -and then you have to repeat the process. You can plateau, you can slip, you can gain. What you can't do is stop altogether. This is a lifetime process and although it is very very tough I promise you it feels better than giving up on your weight. It's very similar to cleaning I think. It's never done, it's dull, it would be more fun not to - but what if you never cleaned yourself or your house? There are some things in life we are doomed to repeat over and over and over - weight watching is one of those.
I'd also really recommend a weekly group for the emotional support and then you will see that everyone is just like you. I'd say most of the ladies I know who've lost weight at the group I attend expected to have no success at all when they started. The joy of their success when they drop stones and stones and turn their lives round is an incredibly moving experience. You can be what you want to be. You aren't a fixed thing at all.0 -
OP, as another said, if you really are not ready to lose weight, nothing will work. I am sorry, but 90% of a diet is mental. It does not matter what program you decide to go with, it will not work if you do not have the right frame of mind. I am not saying though to quit trying. One of these times everything might just click.
It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.
Eat what you want, as long as you remain in your calorie deficit. I eat ice cream, chocolate, fast food, and pizza all the time, and I've lost 55 pounds in a year.
Oh heck no! What you eat does matter! Sure a person can lose weight on these foods but at the cost of good health. Even skinny people can have heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune responses and a myriad of other health problems related to poor diet.
I cringe every time someone in the FitnessPal community posts that all you need to do is take in fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. That may be true but the goal is good health and a lower weight is just one component of good health.
@gianna729 You take those posts too literal. Anyone that has had success and stuck with it does not only eat pizza, ice cream and chocolate cake. They also never suggest that. It is people like you that give rise to that idea by reading only small portion of the post. If you actually follow what they are saying you would see that they say you can still enjoy those foods, just keep them within your caloric intake, but most of your diet should be made up of whole foods that are freshly prepared.
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It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.
Eat what you want, as long as you remain in your calorie deficit. I eat ice cream, chocolate, fast food, and pizza all the time, and I've lost 55 pounds in a year.
Oh heck no! What you eat does matter! Sure a person can lose weight on these foods but at the cost of good health. Even skinny people can have heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune responses and a myriad of other health problems related to poor diet.
I cringe every time someone in the FitnessPal community posts that all you need to do is take in fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. That may be true but the goal is good health and a lower weight is just one component of good health.
Although you bumped this thread, I just have to respond. Eating "junk food" in moderation isn't going to kill you any more than eating only "healthy" or "clean" will completely immunize you from potentially getting sick or having high blood pressure or having diabetes, etc. One food item is not "bad" in and of itself, but within the entire context of a diet. If ALL you eat is pizza and ice cream and fries? Yes, you will be malnourished and feel crappy. If you eat a few slices of pizza on Sunday, a bowl of ice cream on Monday, a few pieces of chocolate on Tuesday, and then maybe you eat a fast food order over the course of a few days (or in one day, depends on what your macro and calorie goals are), then you are not going to kill yourself.
Good health, then, is easily accomplished when still eating "bad" food.Drop the notion of "cheat days". When skinny people eat dessert they aren't "cheating", just eating dessert. Focus on eating healthy every day, one day at a time. When confronted with an unhealthy food it is okay to have a few bites...savor them...then log them into your food diary and keep eating healthy.
So skinny (and/or healthy) people can eat the entire slice, but OP can't/shouldn't?0 -
It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.
Eat what you want, as long as you remain in your calorie deficit. I eat ice cream, chocolate, fast food, and pizza all the time, and I've lost 55 pounds in a year.
Oh heck no! What you eat does matter! Sure a person can lose weight on these foods but at the cost of good health. Even skinny people can have heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune responses and a myriad of other health problems related to poor diet.
I cringe every time someone in the FitnessPal community posts that all you need to do is take in fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. That may be true but the goal is good health and a lower weight is just one component of good health.
I'm sure the person who mentioned pizza, chocolate, and ice cream does not eat them to the exclusion of everything else. There are no "bad" foods in the context of an overall healthy diet.
I'm a vegetarian who doesn't eat pizza or ice cream and hasn't had chocolate in ages (and there's nothing wrong with eating any of those) and my immune system is a mess. Sweeping generalizations about food and health and diet causing health problems rarely hold true.
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It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.
But how many people do you really see that can do this? Are you looking at smiling slender people and just assuming they must not give a thought to what they eat? I don't know where you're located, but in the U.S., anyway, only about 33% of adults are a normal weight. And you really have to assume that a percentage of these are a normal weight because they are watching their weight - eating at a deficit to get there, and/or maintenance if they're already there. This leaves a significant minority who actually can just roll out of bed and start stuffing without gaining any weight.
We've all known a person or two who seemed to be able to stuff it in and never gain an ounce. But compared to the total number of people you know, how many really are able to do this?
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SingRunTing wrote: »
I thought the way you do for years. It was just too hard. Nothing would ever work and I should just give up.
One morning I woke up and thought "I can do this. I need to do this". I haven't looked back.
This is exactly what happened to me.
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You can listen to people argue online for decades, spend some money on a certefied and reputable health & fitness coach YOU LIKE. The last part is just as important, as the skill of the coach. If you dont vibe together, it wont work.
Meet regularly, and be honest about your problems and goals. A good coach will be able to booth guide you through it, and help include "treats" you just cant live without.
I used to weigh 140kg @ 192cm, and play computer games. Now im 92kg, with a fat-percentage of 7% and a strong atheltic physice for those who care about such. I did it because i wanted to wear designer clothes, take long demanding hikes and still eat ice-cream.
Totaly worth it imo!0 -
It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.
I used to complain the same way, "it isn't fair". But, my mom pointed out that a lot of things aren't fair in life and there are much more difficult reasons to have to monitor what you're eating than simply weight loss (her example was diabetes). It's just our lot in life that we have to work harder to lose/maintain weight than some people do.
I also agree with the poster who said that you don't know what other people are doing to stay their weight. I've been "skinny" and had people comment on how I don't need to worry about my weight. Ironically, I that conversation with someone in the office kitchen while I was measuring out my plain oats for oatmeal for breakfast! My response was that's why I was skinny! lol Do I get jealous of people (even on MFP) who eat 1800-2000 calories/day and lose weight while I would be quickly gaining on that much? Of course! But that doesn't help anything.
When you're ready, just track everything--even when you break down and eat a whole bag of chips (like I did just last night). It's when you say "I blew it" and give up that a cheat day becomes a cheat week. Log everything you eat and you will be able to get it under control. Good luck!0 -
This makes me so sad. If you don't really want - REALLY WANT - to do the hard work of losing weight, stop! Don't feel badly about yourself because you've failed to do something you don't really want to do, anyway! If you don't want to do all that hard work, just choose not to do it. Put it off and enjoy doing what you really want to do. Eat yummy food and ENJOY it!
When you really, really do want to do the hard work, nothing will stop you. You won't "cheat" because you won't want to cheat. You'll be all, "Oh, please, I'm not eating that. I intend to lose weight, thanks."
Make a choice and (whatever it is), be happy with it! Enjoy what you're doing. Life goes by fast! Have some fun.
I agree. If you're not truly ready to lose weight, you will fail and then feel bad about yourself. Instead, perhaps take some time to think about what you could change in your life that would help you be ready. Something is holding you back and either making you overeat or just preventing you from committing to a plan-- fear, loneliness, sadness, stress-- figure it out and solve that problem. Make sure your emotional needs (need more alone time? need more time with friends? need a creative outlet? need intellectual stimulation?) are being met. Then you'll be ready and it will be much easier to lose weight and make and stick to a plan. (By the way, another reason for failure is having an overly strict plan. Make sure your plan is reasonable.)
One way to start might be to practice a little therapy on yourself. When you feel the desire to eat more than you should, ask yourself why? Many times it is not true hunger, especially if you desire a particular food or type of food. Frequently there is an emotional trigger or just a generally unpleasant feeling or mood. I think taking a moment to think about it can be helpful. Then if you still want to eat, eat slowly and savor every bite. Stop when you're full. Don't eat to the point of being stuffed.
I am saying this because the original poster sounds like an emotional eater. Not everyone has this problem, but they can usually stick to plans better and don't sound so upset when they fail.0 -
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It's just, I see these people who wake up every morning. Don't have to give an hour thought of what they are gonna eat or if it will make them fat.
Eat what you want, as long as you remain in your calorie deficit. I eat ice cream, chocolate, fast food, and pizza all the time, and I've lost 55 pounds in a year.
Oh heck no! What you eat does matter! Sure a person can lose weight on these foods but at the cost of good health. Even skinny people can have heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune responses and a myriad of other health problems related to poor diet.
I cringe every time someone in the FitnessPal community posts that all you need to do is take in fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. That may be true but the goal is good health and a lower weight is just one component of good health.
Where did I say I eat ONLY those? I make room for ice cream several times a week by eating as many nutritionally-filled foods as I can the rest of the day. The fast food and pizza I try to keep to once a week, Thursday and Friday nights, as those were traditions before I lost weight. The difference now is I make different choices (a smaller sandwich, grilled chicken, I no longer order a full meal with fries and a regular soda), and I limit myself from going out again unless I feel the craving that badly or I'm with others. So far today I've eaten Greek yogurt with granola and cherries, and leftovers from last night's dinner. Depending on how dinner goes, then I'll decide if I want ice cream or something with fewer calories to remain in my deficit. If I have that treat at night, then I don't feel deprived.0
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