beginning running.... how do you get past the embarrasment?
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I've been running every other day for the past two months in a small neighborhood. When I started, I was just like you, soooo worried about what other people thought. I still get a little embarrassed sometimes. But I haven't had any negative reactions. People smile, people wave, people totally ignore me, people watch me for a couple seconds and go right back to whatever they were doing. Nobody has laughed or said anything nasty, and I'm 5'3, 173 lbs, and I drag my butt through this neighborhood at about 3.5mph. So basically: fat and slow.
I got passed once by another runner. I was so embarrassed, because here I was huffing and puffing, red as a fire truck, and he was clearly fit and running past me at easily double my pace, but he made it look as effortless as strolling. Then he said, "hey, how are you doing?" and I realized that to him, I'm just another runner, even if I'm totally out of shape and struggling to breathe at half his pace.
I'm sure there are jerks out there, but realistically, most people are too wrapped up in doing their own thing to pay attention to you when you're out running, I promise.0 -
Honey, THEY are in cars... Probably going to McDonalds for a 2,000 calorie meal. They are in no position to be laughing at you or judging you. You should be laughing at them. When you start feeling like this, remember that you're going to look amazing and WAY more fit than the fat slugs in the cars driving by you!
Way to go girl! Just keep swimming!
Wow. Way to project your feelings on random people driving by you.
OP- just go run. As others said, most people just don't give you any thought. A few other runners will give you the 'nod' as they run by. I'm sure there will be the occasional jerkhole, but its silly to not do something you want to based on the hypothetical reactions of imaginary strangers.0 -
Is anyone else convinced that the manufacturers of running shoes are messing with us? They're this close to putting sequins and rhinestones on them.0
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I totally know how you feel, but by now I don't care anymore- I figure, hey I'm exercising, what are YOU doing with your life? grow up!
Also something else that I find helps me, is to buy a heap of shirts with stuff written on them. e.g. one says 'drop the bass', another has a pinata on it with the captions 'i'd hit that', just pop culture/joke sort of stuff. that way, if you catch someone ACTUALLY looking at you, you can just assume they're reading your hilarious t-shirt! I really found it worked and I was able to relax.0 -
oh, borrow a dog. Mine made me feel way more comfortable when I first started running, and I guarantee you there is a neighbor who would LOVE to have you work out their pup for them.
Lots of places actually have organized volunteer programs to exercise the pets of the elderly or infirmed so they don't have to give them up.0 -
The first time someone almost runs you over on a driveway apron you'll realize people aren't paying attention to driving let alone pedestrians.0
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Burt_Huttz wrote: »The first time someone almost runs you over on a driveway apron you'll realize people aren't paying attention to driving let alone pedestrians.
*nod*
Stopped at a well marked crosswalk to wait for traffic allow crossing. With overhead lights activated. And traffic stopped. Still got hit.0 -
A lot of great words by some great people here!
I have a different story about a garbage truck driver. I started running @ 225lbs, and several months after I started, I was run/walking on a Saturday morning & a garbage truck pulled by me & stopped to pick up while I ran past. He pulled up, then stopped, no house there & motioned for me to take my earphone out. The driver said "I've noticed you doing your running for a while now...how much have you lost?" At that time was like 25 pounds or so. "Well, keep it up, looking good!" (as he was smiling & nodding)
So, OP, keep outta your head, and just run. Don't let yourself sabotage yourself. Pretty soon, there will be less to bounce, your pace time will get quicker, and you will realize "I'm a runner!"0 -
ThickMcRunFast wrote: »Honey, THEY are in cars... Probably going to McDonalds for a 2,000 calorie meal. They are in no position to be laughing at you or judging you. You should be laughing at them. When you start feeling like this, remember that you're going to look amazing and WAY more fit than the fat slugs in the cars driving by you!
Way to go girl! Just keep swimming!
Wow. Way to project your feelings on random people driving by you.
OP- just go run. As others said, most people just don't give you any thought. A few other runners will give you the 'nod' as they run by. I'm sure there will be the occasional jerkhole, but its silly to not do something you want to based on the hypothetical reactions of imaginary strangers.
^All of this.
(I'm especially loling at the assumption that runners or "fit" people never eat McDonalds or even drive..and that all drivers are fat slugs. :laugh: )
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Let's assume, for arguments sake, that people do notice, and do laugh. (probably not true btw)
1. They are a holes. Ef em.
2. If you quit, you are giving them the power to derail your goals. Keep your eye on the prize, and go about your business.
Good luck! Keep at it.0 -
I look relatively fit and I get self conscious running in public. Wearing sunglasses helps me tremendously. Makes me feel anonymous, I guess. Separated and safe. Cool shoes and fun workout clothes also help boost my confidence. I reward my fitness goals with new gear to stay motivated.
No one is looking. In fact, most people are as self conscious as you are; and the meaner those people act; the more insecure they really are. (I wish someone had told me this in high school!!)0 -
Get some head phone a good audio book or music and get lost pretend they don't know you if it helps I have to do that here my neighbors look at me like I am crazy who knows you might inspire someone else.
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Whenever I see someone running that is overweight, I honestly cheer them on to myself. And even if you don't believe that - I like the saying, "what other people think of you is none of your business". Run on!0
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I too fear people laughing or making jokes. But most of it is in our minds. It stems from emotional and mental anguish. Yes people can be cruel and many of us grew up with other kids who were bullies or friends who would talk behind our backs but many people grow out of that at some point. Most people will be proud of you. The few jerks who laugh or make jokes won't be worth knowing anyway- they are going to live bitter lives being closed minded and shallow. And if they do it aloud, get angry and channel that anger into proving to them that they don't know what they are missing!
But when you hit your goal, when you can run a 5k, when you can lift heavy weights, when you can wear a swimsuit without embarrassment anyone who laughed is going to be trying to claw their heads out of their own butts. I don't know how to say it any differently.
I can't say that I got past that and can run well because I did the C25K program for a while and gave up when I had a hormonal disruption that caused 6 months of severe depression in which I was practically sedentary 24/7. But today I went on a walk with my husband and kids and we took turns- one of us jogging, one of us walking with the toddler and pushing the baby stroller. You know how long I could run for? 20 seconds at a time. I had to tell myself I didn't care. There were teens walking home from school in the neighborhood we were walking in and they can be some of the most cruel. But they don't know me, and anyone who judges me without getting to know me is missing out on one heck of an amazing personality! My lungs were on fire, it took me far longer to catch my breath, my weak ankle was sore, but there were my babies squealing with delight every time I ran back to them. And nothing else mattered. Find your motivation and focus on that.
ETA- Also, do anything you can to keep your mind from thinking those thoughts. Listen to an audiobook or music that you can't help but sing along to, be goofy and start dancing in the middle of your run, whatever you have to do. Fake it till you make it. Pretend like you are more confident and people will believe you and eventually you will believe it too.0 -
Embarrassment is a real and powerful force. It is designed to keep the tribe inline. To build on this. I understand, at 297 I was in the gym doing yoga finding which weights I needed to accomplish what I wanted to. I had to over come 20-30 something, Conan wannabeees looking at me like I just walked in to the wrong wharf bar.
I had to breath, smile and ask question. It is so embarrassing. Drive through it. I thought I would cry myself. Its hard, but if I hide, if you hide, you will never become the healthy person you want to be and deserve to be. You have the will, you have the drive, these people will be praising you in a year, and talking about you after that as a symbol of what one determined woman can do. Don't stop, this is our encouragement for you. Find a good running buddy. Have them cheer you along, a single voice of encouragement can light the way. Good luck.0 -
SallyLithgow wrote: »I've recently downloaded the c25k app and was super excited to start trying to run, until this morning when I actually attempted it (somewhere I thought was secluded) and cars kept going past me etc and I couldn't get past the fact that people would be laughing at the fat girl trying to run. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it made me get to the point I thought I was going to cry with embarrassment and I quit. So for those that have been running for a while, how did you get past that initial embarrassment? I live in a tiny village where everyone knows everything so I can't even tell myself that these are people I'm never going to see again.
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Be proud, hold your head high. Think about turning that thought around, without that thought who or where would you be? You would be that courageous gal looking after her health! Keep it up Sally.0
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The fun reality is you are not the center of everyone's world. There are maybe 5-6 people at most in the entire world that consciously think of you sometimes in the day. The other 6+ billion, including most of your friends, don't think about you. The cars driving by? They see you, then a moment later they forget you.
Just do what you have to do to be the best you can be. Don't think that people are judging you, because they aren't.0 -
ThickMcRunFast wrote: »Honey, THEY are in cars... Probably going to McDonalds for a 2,000 calorie meal. They are in no position to be laughing at you or judging you. You should be laughing at them. When you start feeling like this, remember that you're going to look amazing and WAY more fit than the fat slugs in the cars driving by you!
Way to go girl! Just keep swimming!
Wow. Way to project your feelings on random people driving by you.
OP- just go run. As others said, most people just don't give you any thought. A few other runners will give you the 'nod' as they run by. I'm sure there will be the occasional jerkhole, but its silly to not do something you want to based on the hypothetical reactions of imaginary strangers.
Come on. I mean, I drive a car. So no way I run. I must be a 'fat slug'. And Everytime I'm driving my car I stop at McDonald's. For a 2K calorie meal.
:indifferent:
I understand what they were going for but. It didn't pan out.0 -
Something that might help..... Repeat this to yourself......
"What other people think of me, is none of my business."0 -
I hate quoting corporate logo's but " Just Do It"
In May 2014 I started out doing a maximum 500 meter run-walk.
Last week I did a little over 9 km during my lunch hour when it was about -20C.
Not once during this journey of personal improvement did I feel that I was being Judged.
It's not how far you run, or how long you run - It's the simple fact that You are working on Improving Yourself. Be Proud, Stand Tall put on some Shades - Some good Tunes and enjoy your growth into being a runner.
Every person you meet on the trails who is doing some kind of exercise is cheering you on.
Ignore the Jerks - Their not worth wasting your energy on them.
How do you know when you are a Runner?
When your running shoe collection is the biggest part of your shoe collection.
When you have more specialized running socks than daily use socks.
When you have a full shelf in the closet for your running gear.
When you do a Load of Laundry and it's all Running Gear.
When work gets in the way of a nice Relaxing run - that's when you truly are in the gang.
Happy Feet = Happy Body = Happy Soul.0 -
jdscrubs32 wrote: »rrowdiness wrote: »Hey some quick solutions
- Wear army surplus camo, it's designed to make it harder for people to see you.
- Run at night; be sure to wear pure black from head to toe, wraparound sunglasses and a hat for that additional anonymity
- Find places where there are no other people, and run there. You know, middle of the woods at midnight, that kinda stuff.
- Consult this video. Specifically at 1:02. This is all that matters about running.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aN7lt0CYwHg - Stop worrying about what other people are thinking about you. They're not. They're thinking about them.
Run at night and wear pitch black clothing!!!! Recipe for getting knocked down that and getting injured. Poster who asked initial question ignore this.
I think it was meant to be a joke, if I'm reading it right,tounge in cheek.0 -
This goes for everything, not just running:
1)most people are too wrapped up in their own tiny minds to give two hoots about what you're doing.
2)some will notice, some will laugh. Chances are you'll never them again, or will never speak to them anyway. What do their opinions matter? They will have forgotten you in five minutes. Are you going to let them stop you?
3)some people will notice and laugh and you'll run into them later and speak. Knowing I'm better than them would feed my motivation. I'd be waiting to call them out on it.0 -
I know exactly how you feel, when I first started running I used to get up at 5am to run whilst it was still dark so no one would see me, and then I thought why the hell am I doing this, why should I care what anyone thinks. I am sure no one is laughing at you but if they are let them, your the one who is out working your *kitten* off to achieve your goal.
I am sure you are doing amazing, stick at it!Tortitudekitty wrote: »Every time I see a "fat person" out jogging or in the gym I salute them as Greek Gods/Goddesses in training!
You go girl!!!!!!
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I started running at 194lb and people only shouted "Well done girl" to me. I carried on and started running to music because it helped me to get into my own zone. As others have said, no one gives a monkies what you're doing. They have their own stuff going on. Do you have a buddy you can jog with? Would you consider doing a different type of cardio exercise? What ever you decide keep moving and all the best.0
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I haven't read through 5 pages of responses, so apologies if I'm going over old ground here.
I know how the OP feels.
I did Couch to 5k a few years agao and I was ( and to an extent still am - just not as much ) FAT!!
I was embarrassed when I first started it, especially at the whole run for 1 minute walk for 2 minutes thing. I'd run past someone and then have to stop and walk about 100 yards in fron tof them, because that was what the plan told me to do. ( nothing to do with being out of breath, nosireebob! ) Plus then I was walking around in shorts and a Tee Shirt and was obviously someone who couldn't run.
So I wore less obvious running gear until I was able to run continuously for a while.
Wear sweat pants and hoodies, so that when you're stopping if anyone is looking at you, you could just as easily be out for a walk as a run.
Once you're at the point where you're going for 10 minutes, walking for 1 etc you'll not care whpo's looking at you - cos you'll be running out of their sight line.
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If you can just keep running and concentrate on how YOU feel, you will eventually get past those feelings. I was there. People can be crude. It's those that are truly unhappy that have to put others down, to make themselves feel better. Just know you're in a better place than they are. You're doing this for you and those you love. Congrats!0
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About being "a runner" ... that identification was/is/has always been important to me. "Runners" are tough.
*You* are a runner when *you* say you are - not after you reach any particular level. And guess what? As far as I'm concerned, if you're running ... you're a runner. No comparisons, no requirements, except that you are out there (or in there on the TM) running. Own it. It's yours, if you want it. And that might give you all the confidence you need.0 -
Really, I don't often see people judging people for running. The most I've gotten are positive comments. So keep your chin up and do what YOU want to do!0
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When my neighbor started running last summer, her feet was so heavy. I was worried about her. I could hear every foot step. When I started watching her, she would run to the stop sign and back. Then she would push it a little farther. She never stopped. We would wave and tell her keep it up. Now, she runs for miles without any difficulty. I'm so proud of her. So don't worry about others. Focus on your goals.... Good luck0
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