husband

Sabotage is usually only in your own mind.

Are you trying to lose weight quickly? If you are overly hungry you are going to be overly tempted. If you make your deficit smaller you may not be so bothered by your husband's actions. (Although I sympathize. It IS easier if he is 100% on your side). In the scheme of things, is it not better to take a little longer to get to goal than to risk getting so frustrated you quit?

He should support you. He's your partner in life. That's his job.

Wife...doesn't seem to 'get it'.

I log food, count calories, watch my carbs and sugars, try to get in more protein and less sodium.
She tries to lose weight by doing fad diets and reading guru books with the latest greatest ideas of the secret to losing weight.

I try walking and she says she wants to walk with me, but then she always has a reason not to go. Then if I go ahead and walk a mile she seems put off when I get back. "I didn't know you were going out...I thought we were going to walk together". Yeah, that's why I asked you 6 times if you wanted to go for a walk tonight...

I understand its usually easier for men to see results, but I think she would see results too if she would monitor what and how much she is eating, instead of just saying "I know what I need to eat"

Its no secret....eat less, move more.

Does the lack of support/sabotage take the form of him simply continuing to practice the same behaviors that he always has, e.g., eating the same foods and continuing to maintain the same activity level?

As others have said, just because we change, that doesn't mean others around us automatically do, nor should they have to. If he always ate chips, sweets, etc, it's no more fair to expect him to suddenly adopt your new habits than it would be fair for him to actually sabotage you (although I'm having a hard time thinking of examples of actual sabotage, aside from force feeding or something extreme).

I see a lot of posts with people requesting their significant others to not buy certain foods, to leave them in the car or at work, etc, because their SO continuing to purchase and eat these foods (the way they typically always have, it had just never been an issue until the other person made it one) constitutes sabotage or a lack of support. To me it's just someone continuing to live their life the way they always have, and has absolutely nothing to do with the other person's decision to change their habits. I never understood this; it seems like a really surefire way to build resentment in a relationship.

Of course, without any details in the OP, it's really hard to tell if this is the case or if I'm way off base.

I buy junk food for the hubby and kids that they like but which I do not care for. That makes things much easier.

My husband is immensely supportive... He eats anything I cook and never complains. He always gives me encouragement and works out with me sometimes. Although he is annoying when he corrects my form over and over, but that's still supportive though. What is it exactly that makes you feel like he is trying to sabotage you?

chgodvr wrote: »

I tell her I don't want pasta -she makes spaghetti. I say I don't want Pizza once a week, she gets takeout pizza every Friday. She certainly doesn't force anything down my throat but she doesn't support my effort. [\quote\]


That's exactly the kind of thing that my husband does. And the thing is, we have never been the type of family who always has junk food in the house or who goes out for fast food - the only time he ever *insists* on having those type of things is when he knows that I'm trying to lose weight. I don't know if he thinks that, since I'm eating healthier, he won't have to share and can have more to himself or if he is deliberately trying to tempt me off-course. Either way, its inconsiderate at best.

I wouldn't call what my wife does as sabotage or being unsupportive, but not having the family on the same plan does offer "opportunities" for me to test my resolve.
She still buys "treats" and hasn't changed her shopping patterns at the grocery store, but I'm doing this for me and I usually eat what is prepared, just less, or I fix something different if I feel it is not in my best interest.

I'm not there and I can't observe the way you two interact but strictly from the examples you posted I don't see him trying to sabotage you. No, he's not becoming your personal cheerleading squad and supporting you every step of the way but I don't think he's trying to stop what you're doing. At most what I see is a man set in his ways throwing a mini hissy fit about change. You are changing and he is not. It's scary for some. My husband went through a similar phase. Give it time and he will most likely come around, he may even join you when he sees how successful you are. Mine did