husband

I wouldn't call what my wife does as sabotage or being unsupportive, but not having the family on the same plan does offer "opportunities" for me to test my resolve.
She still buys "treats" and hasn't changed her shopping patterns at the grocery store, but I'm doing this for me and I usually eat what is prepared, just less, or I fix something different if I feel it is not in my best interest.

I'm not there and I can't observe the way you two interact but strictly from the examples you posted I don't see him trying to sabotage you. No, he's not becoming your personal cheerleading squad and supporting you every step of the way but I don't think he's trying to stop what you're doing. At most what I see is a man set in his ways throwing a mini hissy fit about change. You are changing and he is not. It's scary for some. My husband went through a similar phase. Give it time and he will most likely come around, he may even join you when he sees how successful you are. Mine did

No...my husband is very supportive. I fully admit that, not necessarily intentionally, I sabotage him. I love to bake and I know the things he loves as treats...he had to ask me over the holidays to scale back because he didn't want the temptation of all the sweets in the house.

Sometimes it's not on purpose. I know he loves those things-I express love through food...but I haven't been understanding when he tells me that having that stuff is too much temptation. It almost hurts my feelings because I know he loves those things and I'm trying to show him I love him. It's something I'm working on myself-not using food as much and finding other little ways to show him how much I love him.

sherbear702 wrote: »

Sometimes partners (male or female) will act this way because they're insecure about the relationship. If you lose weight, you might start feeling pretty and confident. They think if that happens you might start questioning how happy you are in your relationship and start looking for something better.

If he's overweight and you start losing a bunch of weight it might make him feel bad about himself. So he tries to keep you fat to feel better about himself.

People may find this kind of reaction with co-workers, friends, family, or spouses. The saying misery loves company can loosely translate to an unhealthy lifestyle. For example, my co-worker who I would sometimes partake in afternoon coffee/pastry breaks with seems butthurt now that I am not willing to stuff my face with coffee cake or choose fresh fruit instead. I feel like my personal change is making her process her afternoon indulgence has a negative, so she's insecure about it.

My husband is supportive at times and other times he doesn't get it or seems annoyed. That's ok, he hasn't committed to a change of lifestyle like I have, so I am not looking for him to be my full support on this. First of all, I need to rely on myself and motivate myself. Second, that's part of why I joined MFP - lots of people on the same journey.

At times the situation with my husband can be frustrating, but that can be anything in a marriage, you work through it. He has expressed wanting to lose weight numerous times, but won't put forth the effort, but I've been there, he'll reach his breaking point with it eventually.

He used to bust my chops about not being active, now I am more active than him and I know he is proud of my accomplishments, he tells me so, but I think he gets annoyed when my workout schedule conflicts with activities he may want to do together. And as above, I used to be the couch potato, but now he's sitting on the couch more than me, so maybe he is processing it eternally and feeling insecure - like he's feeling bad about not being the active one.

I cook everything (I love to cook) and he will eat anything I make, but now I have extra veggies and log all my calories. I know he thinks counting calories is a ton of stupid work (which it is not). Also, I'm not so thrilled to go out and drink, so that can seem like I'm a party pooper. It is a challenge when we go out to eat because I have to exercise my personal willpower. He will order a delicious dark beer that I love and a meal with a million calories I could devour in one sitting, but I won't, it's not easy. Sometimes impossible, but willpower is a great "muscle" to build up. I used to eat more than him, way more, so, if I look at it from his point of view I can see how it's something to adjust to.

Overall, he's proud of my hardwork and is happy I am feeling good. That's enough for me even if at times I want to throw laser beams from my eyes at him for scoffing at my calorie input.

(Sorry for the novel!)

My boyfriend will tease me about weighing vegetables while I make a salad, or will suggest take-out chicken wings or fish and chips for dinner when I just want to make a healthy dinner, but I don't really consider this anything beyond testing my resolve. Not everyone counts calories, so most people you interact with won't be conscious of the fact that you are. He's very supportive of me working out though, I think he just can't wrap his head around the monotony of calorie counting because he has a very physically demanding job so he can afford to eat a lot more than me. Your husband will likely come around more as your resolve becomes stronger and you say no to him when he offers you something you don't want to eat. My boyfriend has... in little ways, like ordering toppings I hate on pizza just so I won't be tempted to eat it, or not making extra when he cooks certain foods for himself. Your husband will adapt to the change, just give him a little time.

My hubby was negative about the whole thing for a long time. First it was trying to get me to eat things I refuse to eat. Then it was trying to lure me out of gym sessions. Then he quit trying those bc they wouldn't work, but he would make a point of eating junk in front of me and all that. Still didn't work. I still ate healthy at my calorie level, still went to the gym. Gripes like "will we ever have pizza again" were met with "who cares?" lol so when it turned out that I was NOT to be moved, and I started gaining muscle definition he finally turned a corner and decided he would like to have muscle definition as well and started working out for real, not just moseying on the treadmill, and quit eating crap. Now, that said, it has taken a little work for me to provide him with healthy foods that fit into his calorie count. I took him to see the nutritionist. She told him, eat 1800-2000 and work out at least every other day. So that means I am preparing work lunches for both of us. His are twice the food of mine, sigh... but I make sure it's all high nutrition food with good flavor as well. If the flavor isn't good, u know it will end up in the trash. It really sux ur husband is being such an obstacle. It's very angrymaking. The best thing u can do is refuse to be moved. Follow ur plan. If he doesn't like it he can sit and spin basically.

When I first began, my husband tried to tempt me, especially with alcohol but it didn't bother me. Why? Because I had my mind set. I was doing this period.... There was nothing he could had tempt me with because I was doing this for me... He wasn't necessarily being unsupportive. He just didn't see it as a problem.

Temptation is everywhere. I have teenage kids. I still buy them treats. I still cook foods they love. I know some don't have the willpower. I'm not dismissing it. I just think once you have your mind set to do something, you do it. Or that is how it was with me...

But overall, my husband is very supportive.