Brutally Honest 6 Reasons you are Still Overfat
Replies
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One of the greatest athletes of all time. This is the last point of his career. At the age of 39 he accepted that his body could no longer perform at an elite level. He retired with one of the longest standing ovations of all time and a smile on his face. At the age of 39, he was well past his peak athleticism and fitness, and was as happy as he could be. He is now a billionare with a successful buisness. Athleticism is no longer important.
This is my role model. Someone who can be the best athlete imaginable while he is young, and move on to another chapter of his life as he gets older. He never failed. He never was, as an above poster put it, mediocre. He just aged, and he accepted that. His mind never stopped growing and he still takes care of himself, he just doesn't concern himself with overall athleticism.0 -
Bump for daily inspiration0
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uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »
Possibly, I just don't think he worded it properly. He shouldn't say that you're ****ed if you have an end date in mind.
I think he meant end date for a goal, not an end goal. It can be a problem if some is h*llbent on "I will lose 20 pounds by spring break. I will lose 40 pounds by June." I can see how that leads to an everything all at once mindset that results in a big initial jump then a crash, or just giving up altogether when they realize they're on track to lose 20 pounds by June instead.0 -
I dunno; I lost 2 and a half pounds OFF all exercise and diet all this past summer and fall due to a long episode of Status Migraine. Since I lost without trying, is that to my credit? Or because I threw up a lot?
I am back on, and dropped two more in 11 days. That's to my credit.
I really can't say one way or the other. I know a girl who has both weight and cancer. Should I critique her motivation? (I would get kicked out of several Facebook groups and maybe kicked off Facebook for that! And she is VERY motivated, BTW. To "get healthy." In other words, to live.)
So, it doesn't necessarily apply to everyone, equally. I was a college professor for many years; I didn't treat students equally. From some, I demanded more. Because I knew they could do more, and weren't trying enough. Others tried so hard for goals they were never going to reach. I didn't stop them, but I didn't push.
rjm0 -
47Jacqueline wrote: »There are probably other ways of being brutally honest that will resonate for a lot of people. His message is pretty good, but I think his approach will only appeal to the converted. Those he is attempting to reach won't want to hear/read it.
Agree.0 -
Thank you for posting this! I've been having a rough 2 months or so and I needed to hear/read some of that!0
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I totally agree with him. I have no issues with his language. I wouldn't say that to someone else but I certainly say it to myself. I know I read some things in this forum where it seems people aren't accepting responsibility for their bodies and how they got fat. Or why they don't seem to be losing weight. He basically said what a lot of us think when we read those kinds of comments or complaints. It made me remember a post a few months ago where a woman complained that she couldn't eat wings AND drink beer while rooting on her team at the bar and still stay within her calorie goals for the day. She said she was soooo stressed out and upset and would feel like an idiot ordering a salad at a sports bar... I remember reading it and immediately wishing I could unread it because it was such a complete waste of a few seconds of my life to read such rubbish. In fact, I'm now wasting more time talking about it, lol.0
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Although I do agree with his points, I don't find myself gravitating towards that approach. Even though I'm the first to poke "personal responsibility" at excuses, I hate it when people bring up other situations with worse problems, but that does not make our problems any less of an obstacle. Telling someone with a broken leg that there are people without legs does not make it any less painful. The trick is to recognize the problem and try to come up with strategies that work to overcome it. Shouting "deal with it" deals with nothing.0
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uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »
One of the greatest athletes of all time. This is the last point of his career. At the age of 39 he accepted that his body could no longer perform at an elite level. He retired with one of the longest standing ovations of all time and a smile on his face. At the age of 39, he was well past his peak athleticism and fitness, and was as happy as he could be. He is now a billionare with a successful buisness. Athleticism is no longer important.
This is my role model. Someone who can be the best athlete imaginable while he is young, and move on to another chapter of his life as he gets older. He never failed. He never was, as an above poster put it, mediocre. He just aged, and he accepted that. His mind never stopped growing and he still takes care of himself, he just doesn't concern himself with overall athleticism.
Hmmm, interesting. I'm a huge bball fan that sees MJ a bit differently than you have described. This is off-topic but I recall my BFF (MJ was her fave player) feeling like he should have retired sooner than that and kind of soiled his legacy by signing with Washington. He should have played his last game as a Bull when they beat Utah in the Finals in 1998 (if memory serves me).
Back on-topic... I agree that having continued goals (for life) is the way to go (for me, anyway). I have done a lot of soul-searching and analyzing of why I failed to keep weight off previously. The reason I keep coming up with is that I didn't continue to challenge myself. That is, if you're not moving forward, you're moving backwards. I think that life in maintenance is different from weightloss only in that the calorie intake is different. All of the things that made me successful and motivated during weight loss have to continue into maintenance forever for me to be successful. That's also what I think the trainer was saying in his own special way, lol.
I don't think you and the person you're debating are that far apart in the way you both think about this. I think the missing piece is that, as you age, your goals are "different". If you're 20 and you want to do a triathlon 6 times a years, that may be doable. If you're 80, probably not a good idea (although I have seem some 70-somethings out there killing it...). I agree with your adversary that always having goals is the key to success.0 -
I will always have goals, just not goals to improve my athleticism. It is silly to expect your body to forever improve in that category. Hence why I repeated over and over that my philosophy only applied to my athleticism goals and why I set a definite timeline for them. I am not "f***ed" as the blog says I am just because I have a time goal. I am not mediocre either, just because some random girl decided to try and internet muscle me out of an argument.0
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amusedmonkey wrote: »Although I do agree with his points, I don't find myself gravitating towards that approach. Even though I'm the first to poke "personal responsibility" at excuses, I hate it when people bring up other situations with worse problems, but that does not make our problems any less of an obstacle. Telling someone with a broken leg that there are people without legs does not make it any less painful. The trick is to recognize the problem and try to come up with strategies that work to overcome it. Shouting "deal with it" deals with nothing.
Good point. But complaining usually does nothing as well. I view those kinds of comparisons as glass half empty/full analogies. Broken legs suck but not more than having no leg(s). So consider yourself "lucky" and know that things will get better. It's just about perspective. I'm usually reminded or conscious of my whining when I hear other people whining. Then I make a mental note to myself that I don't want to sound like that ever. Case in point, the scale has been a little sticky lately and I was complaining (mostly to myself and friends offline). But the other side of that is that I have lost a lot of weight over the past 4 months and have a lot of nerve to be upset about a few weeks of small losses. It's just about puttin gthings in perspective for me. But again, I hear where you're coming from...0 -
47Jacqueline wrote: »There are probably other ways of being brutally honest that will resonate for a lot of people. His message is pretty good, but I think his approach will only appeal to the converted. Those he is attempting to reach won't want to hear/read it.
I think that's why he wrote it the way he did. If he wrote his post in a friendlier tone, it would be just like any other blog post. But I think because he knows people are going to do/think whatever they want to anyway, why not be brutally honest and mean it?
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uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »I will always have goals, just not goals to improve my athleticism. It is silly to expect your body to forever improve in that category. Hence why I repeated over and over that my philosophy only applied to my athleticism goals and why I set a definite timeline for them. I am not "f***ed" as the blog says I am just because I have a time goal. I am not mediocre either, just because some random girl decided to try and internet muscle me out of an argument.
Hopefully, you didn't mean me (random girl... internet muscle...). I didn't interpret the article that way. Of course, it's all downhill (or uphill?) after a certain age. I understood the author mean that people who think their diets end or after x days I won't exercise any more... blah blah blah.
I'm done with conversing with you but only because you're a UCONN fan!!!! Ugh, I didn't see that! I'm a Tennessee fan. LOL, jk (sort of).0 -
uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »I will always have goals, just not goals to improve my athleticism. It is silly to expect your body to forever improve in that category. Hence why I repeated over and over that my philosophy only applied to my athleticism goals and why I set a definite timeline for them. I am not "f***ed" as the blog says I am just because I have a time goal. I am not mediocre either, just because some random girl decided to try and internet muscle me out of an argument.
Hopefully, you didn't mean me (random girl... internet muscle...). I didn't interpret the article that way. Of course, it's all downhill (or uphill?) after a certain age. I understood the author mean that people who think their diets end or after x days I won't exercise any more... blah blah blah.
I'm done with conversing with you but only because you're a UCONN fan!!!! Ugh, I didn't see that! I'm a Tennessee fan. LOL, jk (sort of).
Hehe, poor Tennessee.0 -
uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »I will always have goals, just not goals to improve my athleticism. It is silly to expect your body to forever improve in that category. Hence why I repeated over and over that my philosophy only applied to my athleticism goals and why I set a definite timeline for them. I am not "f***ed" as the blog says I am just because I have a time goal. I am not mediocre either, just because some random girl decided to try and internet muscle me out of an argument.
Hopefully, you didn't mean me (random girl... internet muscle...). I didn't interpret the article that way. Of course, it's all downhill (or uphill?) after a certain age. I understood the author mean that people who think their diets end or after x days I won't exercise any more... blah blah blah.
I'm done with conversing with you but only because you're a UCONN fan!!!! Ugh, I didn't see that! I'm a Tennessee fan. LOL, jk (sort of).
Hehe, poor Tennessee.
Sigh... I got nothing0 -
amusedmonkey wrote: »Although I do agree with his points, I don't find myself gravitating towards that approach. Even though I'm the first to poke "personal responsibility" at excuses, I hate it when people bring up other situations with worse problems, but that does not make our problems any less of an obstacle. Telling someone with a broken leg that there are people without legs does not make it any less painful. The trick is to recognize the problem and try to come up with strategies that work to overcome it. Shouting "deal with it" deals with nothing.
Good point. But complaining usually does nothing as well. I view those kinds of comparisons as glass half empty/full analogies. Broken legs suck but not more than having no leg(s). So consider yourself "lucky" and know that things will get better. It's just about perspective. I'm usually reminded or conscious of my whining when I hear other people whining. Then I make a mental note to myself that I don't want to sound like that ever. Case in point, the scale has been a little sticky lately and I was complaining (mostly to myself and friends offline). But the other side of that is that I have lost a lot of weight over the past 4 months and have a lot of nerve to be upset about a few weeks of small losses. It's just about puttin gthings in perspective for me. But again, I hear where you're coming from...
I understand, and I guess this may work for some people. Not in my case though. I have been losing and gaining the same 5 since before the holidays. I don't whine about it, not even to myself because I know why it happened, I know what I need to do, and I don't feel the slightest bit of guilt. In some cases whining is just an expression of frustration that stems from not having a clear reason ("this is not fair") or solution ("I can't change this") for a problem. I believe invoking "the disasters of the world" may lead some to indulge in self-judgement where they feel guilty for reacting emotionally to "lesser" problems. This is not a healthy path to slip into. Which brings me to my next issue with this article...
"You can't sacrifice for 8 weeks?", that's judgemental. It's not all black and white. Humans have certain brain processes that make them prone to doing the illogical despite knowing what is logical. It's normal, and it happens to every single person on earth in varying degrees. Slipping after 3 weeks is not the end of the world. It does not make a person weak or of less value. Approaching it like it's the end of the world and fueling guilt in people is another horrible approach because people, by nature, don't like failure. And since they are doomed to slip at some point, they are doomed to think of themselves as failures. That mentality is one of the main reasons many people have that "the day is ruined" feeling, and with repeated "ruined days" they throw in the towel. A better approach would be to acknowledge what happened and move on.0 -
amusedmonkey wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »Although I do agree with his points, I don't find myself gravitating towards that approach. Even though I'm the first to poke "personal responsibility" at excuses, I hate it when people bring up other situations with worse problems, but that does not make our problems any less of an obstacle. Telling someone with a broken leg that there are people without legs does not make it any less painful. The trick is to recognize the problem and try to come up with strategies that work to overcome it. Shouting "deal with it" deals with nothing.
Good point. But complaining usually does nothing as well. I view those kinds of comparisons as glass half empty/full analogies. Broken legs suck but not more than having no leg(s). So consider yourself "lucky" and know that things will get better. It's just about perspective. I'm usually reminded or conscious of my whining when I hear other people whining. Then I make a mental note to myself that I don't want to sound like that ever. Case in point, the scale has been a little sticky lately and I was complaining (mostly to myself and friends offline). But the other side of that is that I have lost a lot of weight over the past 4 months and have a lot of nerve to be upset about a few weeks of small losses. It's just about puttin gthings in perspective for me. But again, I hear where you're coming from...
I understand, and I guess this may work for some people. Not in my case though. I have been losing and gaining the same 5 since before the holidays. I don't whine about it, not even to myself because I know why it happened, I know what I need to do, and I don't feel the slightest bit of guilt. In some cases whining is just an expression of frustration that stems from not having a clear reason ("this is not fair") or solution ("I can't change this") for a problem. I believe invoking "the disasters of the world" may lead some to indulge in self-judgement where they feel guilty for reacting emotionally to "lesser" problems. This is not a healthy path to slip into. Which brings me to my next issue with this article...
"You can't sacrifice for 8 weeks?", that's judgemental. It's not all black and white. Humans have certain brain processes that make them prone to doing the illogical despite knowing what is logical. It's normal, and it happens to every single person on earth in varying degrees. Slipping after 3 weeks is not the end of the world. It does not make a person weak or of less value. Approaching it like it's the end of the world and fueling guilt in people is another horrible approach because people, by nature, don't like failure. And since they are doomed to slip at some point, they are doomed to think of themselves as failures. That mentality is one of the main reasons many people have that "the day is ruined" feeling, and with repeated "ruined days" they throw in the towel. A better approach would be to acknowledge what happened and move on.
Again, I don't disagree... I am on the fence with the "acknowledge and move on" thing, though. There is a very fine line between acknowledging and moving on vs consistently missing goals/targets. I think a lot of people struggle with knowing the difference between the two. I read so many times in this forum where people say "it's okay, just get back on track". First, of course it's OK. It's not the end of the world and no excuse to just abandon the weight loss plan. But if every (or a large %) "challenge" is met with giving in then there won't be progress. So then it's not OK in terms of being successful at losing weight. To be successful at weight loss you have to maintain a caloric deficit over time. Always having to hit reset just seems to be the definition of insanity to me. For me, maintenance is the biggest challenge. That's where my "insanity" has been most evident. And I think the author is correct in stating that the failure comes when we have an end date in our minds. He's definitely rough around the edges. But I think his message is still valid.
Great chatting with you about this!!!0 -
Good points. Especially #6. Every bit of success we have in anything in life starts with our attitudes.
Yes! Number six made me lol literally. My attitude was one thing that needed so much work, just in general. Yes I still have bad days, but I push through.
I really enjoyed this article, and while I have gained all my weight back, I back in the gym daily and have transformed my kitchen again. I have to learn maintenance through all situations. I have yet to learn how to make good food decisions in group settings. And I need too.0 -
6 things I needed to hear today on day 1 of my journey… Brutally honest truth I NEEDED to hear. Thank you for sharing.0
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amusedmonkey wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »Although I do agree with his points, I don't find myself gravitating towards that approach. Even though I'm the first to poke "personal responsibility" at excuses, I hate it when people bring up other situations with worse problems, but that does not make our problems any less of an obstacle. Telling someone with a broken leg that there are people without legs does not make it any less painful. The trick is to recognize the problem and try to come up with strategies that work to overcome it. Shouting "deal with it" deals with nothing.
Good point. But complaining usually does nothing as well. I view those kinds of comparisons as glass half empty/full analogies. Broken legs suck but not more than having no leg(s). So consider yourself "lucky" and know that things will get better. It's just about perspective. I'm usually reminded or conscious of my whining when I hear other people whining. Then I make a mental note to myself that I don't want to sound like that ever. Case in point, the scale has been a little sticky lately and I was complaining (mostly to myself and friends offline). But the other side of that is that I have lost a lot of weight over the past 4 months and have a lot of nerve to be upset about a few weeks of small losses. It's just about puttin gthings in perspective for me. But again, I hear where you're coming from...
I understand, and I guess this may work for some people. Not in my case though. I have been losing and gaining the same 5 since before the holidays. I don't whine about it, not even to myself because I know why it happened, I know what I need to do, and I don't feel the slightest bit of guilt. In some cases whining is just an expression of frustration that stems from not having a clear reason ("this is not fair") or solution ("I can't change this") for a problem. I believe invoking "the disasters of the world" may lead some to indulge in self-judgement where they feel guilty for reacting emotionally to "lesser" problems. This is not a healthy path to slip into. Which brings me to my next issue with this article...
"You can't sacrifice for 8 weeks?", that's judgemental. It's not all black and white. Humans have certain brain processes that make them prone to doing the illogical despite knowing what is logical. It's normal, and it happens to every single person on earth in varying degrees. Slipping after 3 weeks is not the end of the world. It does not make a person weak or of less value. Approaching it like it's the end of the world and fueling guilt in people is another horrible approach because people, by nature, don't like failure. And since they are doomed to slip at some point, they are doomed to think of themselves as failures. That mentality is one of the main reasons many people have that "the day is ruined" feeling, and with repeated "ruined days" they throw in the towel. A better approach would be to acknowledge what happened and move on.
Again, I don't disagree... I am on the fence with the "acknowledge and move on" thing, though. There is a very fine line between acknowledging and moving on vs consistently missing goals/targets. I think a lot of people struggle with knowing the difference between the two. I read so many times in this forum where people say "it's okay, just get back on track". First, of course it's OK. It's not the end of the world and no excuse to just abandon the weight loss plan. But if every (or a large %) "challenge" is met with giving in then there won't be progress. So then it's not OK in terms of being successful at losing weight. To be successful at weight loss you have to maintain a caloric deficit over time. Always having to hit reset just seems to be the definition of insanity to me. For me, maintenance is the biggest challenge. That's where my "insanity" has been most evident. And I think the author is correct in stating that the failure comes when we have an end date in our minds. He's definitely rough around the edges. But I think his message is still valid.
Great chatting with you about this!!!
This is very true. I believe the problem is that not everyone has a good arsenal of strategies to truly acknowledge something, as in "recognize the importance of an event", which involves knowing why it happened, what to do to make up for it, or what to do to make it happen less often. That action plan is what will push progress, not the mere "what's done is done" attitude about it. If it's done, and can be fixed, why not fix it? Like slightly reduce calorie budget for a week to make up for the extras, or add an extra 10 minutes of exercise, for example. Or if overeating happened because people brought donuts, for example, it's a lesson learned to eat your meal before going to a place where you know people will bring donuts, this way you will have an easier time limiting yourself to one.. and so on.0 -
uconnwinsnc1 wrote: »For someone who talks so much about self improvement, he sure makes no attempt at improving his lackluster grammar and writing skills. Seriously, every other word does not have to be a swear.
"If the end point is in your sights I am telling you right now that you will not be successful in the long term. If you have an end date in mind you are already f***ed."
This is easily the biggest problem with what he wrote. Every great plan BEGINS with the end goal. Then the planner splits the end goal into smaller achievable smaller goals. For example:
End goal: I want to learn German.
Mini goal 1: I need to learn nouns, adjectives, verbs...
Mini goal 2: I need to learn common phrases
Mini goal 3: I need to learn sentence structures
so on and so forth.
No idiot would start randomly by saying, "Hey, I'm just going to learn German sentence structures and see what happens..." It has to start with the end goal.
Example number 2:
End goal: I want to be fit.
Mini goal1: I need to eat healthier.
MIni goal 2: I need to lift weights.
Mini goal 3:I need to work on mobility.
So yeah, this guy, a bit too over the top. He talks like everything is a constant improvement until we die. That is not true. By the age of 26 I plan on being at my peak athleticism. By 50, I will easily be significantly weaker and slower. I am not improving anymore at that point. I don't plan on it either. I have an end point in sight, and using words he likes to use, he can go **** himself for telling me otherwise.
He means that being healthy doesn't end (until you die). There is no end date. Exercise and good nutrition are not temporary or short term. He is not speaking about improvement he is just stating basically that you need to embrace a healthy lifestyle for your entire life, not just until summer ends or whatever "end date" you see. You are already failing by not seeing it as a way of life forever. I think everything he states is absolutely true and yes it is harsh and offensive to some but the truth hurts and if you are saying "but" to anything he has stated an excuse is sure to follow. If he had not written that piece without the harshness and swearing would we even be discussing it? Probably not because it would be just like EVERY OTHER fitness blog. Stay Positive, Only indulge occasionally, It's not a diet it is a way of life, It will take time to lose the weight, Stay positive and don't get discouraged..... same message as a million other blogs but his stands out and speaks to those of us that need a dose of harsh reality and who appreciate candor and the occasional F-bomb.0 -
amusedmonkey wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »amusedmonkey wrote: »Although I do agree with his points, I don't find myself gravitating towards that approach. Even though I'm the first to poke "personal responsibility" at excuses, I hate it when people bring up other situations with worse problems, but that does not make our problems any less of an obstacle. Telling someone with a broken leg that there are people without legs does not make it any less painful. The trick is to recognize the problem and try to come up with strategies that work to overcome it. Shouting "deal with it" deals with nothing.
Good point. But complaining usually does nothing as well. I view those kinds of comparisons as glass half empty/full analogies. Broken legs suck but not more than having no leg(s). So consider yourself "lucky" and know that things will get better. It's just about perspective. I'm usually reminded or conscious of my whining when I hear other people whining. Then I make a mental note to myself that I don't want to sound like that ever. Case in point, the scale has been a little sticky lately and I was complaining (mostly to myself and friends offline). But the other side of that is that I have lost a lot of weight over the past 4 months and have a lot of nerve to be upset about a few weeks of small losses. It's just about puttin gthings in perspective for me. But again, I hear where you're coming from...
I understand, and I guess this may work for some people. Not in my case though. I have been losing and gaining the same 5 since before the holidays. I don't whine about it, not even to myself because I know why it happened, I know what I need to do, and I don't feel the slightest bit of guilt. In some cases whining is just an expression of frustration that stems from not having a clear reason ("this is not fair") or solution ("I can't change this") for a problem. I believe invoking "the disasters of the world" may lead some to indulge in self-judgement where they feel guilty for reacting emotionally to "lesser" problems. This is not a healthy path to slip into. Which brings me to my next issue with this article...
"You can't sacrifice for 8 weeks?", that's judgemental. It's not all black and white. Humans have certain brain processes that make them prone to doing the illogical despite knowing what is logical. It's normal, and it happens to every single person on earth in varying degrees. Slipping after 3 weeks is not the end of the world. It does not make a person weak or of less value. Approaching it like it's the end of the world and fueling guilt in people is another horrible approach because people, by nature, don't like failure. And since they are doomed to slip at some point, they are doomed to think of themselves as failures. That mentality is one of the main reasons many people have that "the day is ruined" feeling, and with repeated "ruined days" they throw in the towel. A better approach would be to acknowledge what happened and move on.
Again, I don't disagree... I am on the fence with the "acknowledge and move on" thing, though. There is a very fine line between acknowledging and moving on vs consistently missing goals/targets. I think a lot of people struggle with knowing the difference between the two. I read so many times in this forum where people say "it's okay, just get back on track". First, of course it's OK. It's not the end of the world and no excuse to just abandon the weight loss plan. But if every (or a large %) "challenge" is met with giving in then there won't be progress. So then it's not OK in terms of being successful at losing weight. To be successful at weight loss you have to maintain a caloric deficit over time. Always having to hit reset just seems to be the definition of insanity to me. For me, maintenance is the biggest challenge. That's where my "insanity" has been most evident. And I think the author is correct in stating that the failure comes when we have an end date in our minds. He's definitely rough around the edges. But I think his message is still valid.
Great chatting with you about this!!!
This is very true. I believe the problem is that not everyone has a good arsenal of strategies to truly acknowledge something, as in "recognize the importance of an event", which involves knowing why it happened, what to do to make up for it, or what to do to make it happen less often. That action plan is what will push progress, not the mere "what's done is done" attitude about it. If it's done, and can be fixed, why not fix it? Like slightly reduce calorie budget for a week to make up for the extras, or add an extra 10 minutes of exercise, for example. Or if overeating happened because people brought donuts, for example, it's a lesson learned to eat your meal before going to a place where you know people will bring donuts, this way you will have an easier time limiting yourself to one.. and so on.
Cosign.0 -
So true.0
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Awesome advise
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I own my mistakes and failures, but sometimes these kinds of things just makes me hate myself more. I agree that it's my fault, but hearing can lead down a dangerous road for some people when they need encouragement and positive reinforcement instead.0
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I am overweight because I have overeaten my whole life, and lack of exercise/ movement. I have been eating healthy food's just the wrong portion's of it.0
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I get some of his points, but what about the people who eat "treats" every day and have still met their fitness and weight goals doing it? There seem to be plenty on MFP.0
This discussion has been closed.
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