Male body pressure becoming the same as women?
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Why am I not surprised that the article is written by a feminist mangina.
"Despite what we tell ourselves, the male beauty standard isn’t about what women think men should look like; it’s brought onto us by other men."
Yep, that's our fault too, guys, along with seemingly everything else in this *kitten* up world.
So, seriously, how many of you guys are going to the gym and working hard to look good because of other men? How many of you guys are at the gym thinking, 'man, gotta keep at it or I'll be embarrassed the next time some movie star posts something on twitter?'
On the other hand, how many of you guys keep pushing yourself based on a fear of being left alone all your life, since you probably can't sit on a bar stool and just have woman after woman offer to buy you drinks? How many of you guys have had to sit around listening to your SO or gal pals swoon mightily over the pics of these guys, consequently being led to ask yourself, "What's wrong with me?" (I quit doing that before even graduating high school because it just seemed rude to my female friends or girlfriend).
How many of you guys have looked at the fact that around 70% of divorces are initiated by women and thought, "I'd better get in shape before she leaves me for someone else more attractive." How many of you guys have seen married women hitting on you (or your wife hitting on another guy) because you (or he) was in better shape than the husband, and ended up reaching the conclusion, "I need to get in better shape!"
I bet the author didn't even bother to ask a handful of his fellow maginas what they thought. I'm surprised he didn't blame the 'patriarchy.'
You sound like you need a glass of wine and a cuddle. I don't think anybody here has blamed individual men for anything, and nobody has said men have it easy and women don't treat men badly too. Both genders have body insecurities which can be related to what the opposite sex thinks of them.
You're saying this expectation of masculinity is created by women and forced upon men, causing them pain - yet you've called an author who highlights this issue and suggests his thoughts on what's fuelled it a 'feminist mangina' because he doesn't agree with your view of how men should respond to situations? Hmmm.0 -
Why am I not surprised that the article is written by a feminist mangina.
"Despite what we tell ourselves, the male beauty standard isn’t about what women think men should look like; it’s brought onto us by other men."
Yep, that's our fault too, guys, along with seemingly everything else in this *kitten* up world.
So, seriously, how many of you guys are going to the gym and working hard to look good because of other men? How many of you guys are at the gym thinking, 'man, gotta keep at it or I'll be embarrassed the next time some movie star posts something on twitter?'
On the other hand, how many of you guys keep pushing yourself based on a fear of being left alone all your life, since you probably can't sit on a bar stool and just have woman after woman offer to buy you drinks? How many of you guys have had to sit around listening to your SO or gal pals swoon mightily over the pics of these guys, consequently being led to ask yourself, "What's wrong with me?" (I quit doing that before even graduating high school because it just seemed rude to my female friends or girlfriend).
How many of you guys have looked at the fact that around 70% of divorces are initiated by women and thought, "I'd better get in shape before she leaves me for someone else more attractive." How many of you guys have seen married women hitting on you (or your wife hitting on another guy) because you (or he) was in better shape than the husband, and ended up reaching the conclusion, "I need to get in better shape!"
I bet the author didn't even bother to ask a handful of his fellow maginas what they thought. I'm surprised he didn't blame the 'patriarchy.'
This is the same way I think about when people say "the pressure from other women on women is higher than from men." What other women think about how I look really doesn't matter to me. Whether or not I attract a mate does, although, not immensely.0 -
I think it also has a bit to do with early influences on body image. For instance, as I was developing my self-image, stick thin models were en vogue and through unrelated causes I also struggled with eating disorder. So despite the fact that I know my husband likes Christina Hendricks-esque curvy girls, I still feel pressured to be very thin because to me that's my 'ideal norm.' Likewise, my husband was an athlete his whole life, lifted regularly from a young age, and he still feels pressure to be lean and muscular even though he knows I tend to prefer skinnier guys and don't care about abs. In our cases it's not so much what the media or our partner says now that dictates this pressure, but rather the ideals that we formulated on our own when we were young. If that makes sense.0
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I think that the article's author is very much underestimating what this pressure is actually like for women.
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Damn I'm pretty...0
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azulvioleta6 wrote: »I think that the article's author is very much underestimating what this pressure is actually like for women.
Zits is shockingly accurate about interpersonal relationships in general.0 -
A lot of this stuff is cultural, and maybe even ethnic or racial.
I can't deal with hairy men at all...if the manscaping trend lasts forever, that will be fine with me. I mostly date non-European Latinos, who naturally don't have much body hair. I really don't care about height or any other particular physical characteristics, but too much body hair really creeps me out.
The same with me in reverse--I might as well be invisible to American men, but I get tons of attention from Hispanic, Arab, African and Indian men. Recently I was out dancing and an American guy asked me for my phone number...I was kind of shocked, and it occurred to me that I have NEVER had that happen before, in my whole life. Maybe I am thin enough to count as human now in the eyes of guys from the US?0 -
i like a man with muscles and a big thick..... beard0
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Does it really matter where these pressures originate?
Work out or don't. Plenty of fat acceptance communities for those who want to reject the social "pressure"0 -
I would agree. I will say most of the 'pressure' I get is more related to dating. I'm however of the opinion that like me or don't, I'm not going to get that worked up about it (otherwise I'd go insane)...there are billions of women out there, odds are good some aren't going to like me.
I work out to be fit and healthy, because that's the version I like best of ME. but it doesn't mean the pressure isn't felt sometimes.0 -
Not. Even. Close.
Most of the most vitriolic comments about women's bodies are from other women. Most men don't care.
Why in the hell do people want to be victims all the time?
Jesus Christ.
Most men don't care? I think they do! Most of them are very unrealistic in their expectations. But for so long it was a doubled standard. It was ok for the guy to look dumpy, get fat and soft in the middle. Where as the woman had to be presentable; she had to be a sexy Pollyanna! It's about time women became shallow towards a mans outward appearance! Ha!
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It's all about the standards that society sets for everyone. But then it all comes down to who exactly is society? When asked, everyone says that everyone is beautiful and/or handsome with their body and looks the way they are now. So who is the one saying they arent? Or is everyone just lying. The standards are set by the "elites" (models, etc.). So yes in most ways standards set for men and woman are very similar. Effortlessly flawless.0
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I'm totally serious, I was wondering if anyone was going to get what I was talking about. lol.5. As usual I agree with dbmata - mediocrity is not acceptable - and it doesn't mean spending hours in the gym - it's being the best you that you can be. The best husband, the best father, the best employee, the best leader so when you look in the mirror - you like the person that is looking back.
No regrets.
Good man.
<raises hand>
I did.I look at guys in the exact same way that other poster described. I talked no offense to bring "judged" in the way you seem to find so offensive.
no- my entire point was you said it doesn't happen. Men don't judge you.
That's what you said.
And that's an incorrect statement- like it or not- at no point did I put my personal inflection of angst or happiness regarding the statement. It's a very very simple fact. Men judge women. Men judge YOU.
edit: as for height- I'm 5'8" and I love my heels. My BF is 5'9.5" on a good day- and the only reason neither of us cares for that situation is because it makes walking next to each other awkward- no one is significantly high enough to get an arm up or down around someone.... so I that aspect- yeah slightly taller- or slightly shorter is better- but I don't personally care otherwise in terms of attraction.
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Pretty much this. You see this a lot here and it gets pretty frustrating. All you see are these headless ab guys bragging about how much they eat. "I'm 7% body fat and eat 7000 calories a day. Pizza, ice cream, and beer every night blah blah blah. I never do cardio either. I lift a little. That's it." It'd be great if people would at least be honest about what they did to get where they are. Most of them are probably lying.Men need to be muscular but lean, able to party hard and guzzle booze and beer like their bros on Jersey Shore or The Only Way Is Essex, but still maintain those perfect abs.
No one does this, and I don't even frequent the gaining forum that much. Men can eat more than women, and when bulking they eat even more. This is not bragging, this is simply what must be done to gain muscle. And NONE of them will say "I lift a little." Building muscle takes purposeful dedication and work, as does leaning out. Cardio is not necessary to lean out and is definitely not necessary while bulking. Pizza, ice cream, and beer can all be consumed while losing, maintaining, or gaining. No one eats ONLY this in their diet, because moderation.
You are clearly the one lying about things you've seen. I saw ONE thread once where a guy complained that he wasn't gaining on 6000 calories, and if he was tracking accurately then it most likely reflected his lean body mass plus his normal activity levels PLUS his exercise activity levels. I've seen plenty of people post asking for advice on how to manage eating so much while bulking.
Your post is just sad.
I have kept my mouth shut so far but you attack everyone on every post that has anything to do with calorie consumption. Just because something works for you does not mean it works for everyone and it does not make people with other opinions stupid or sad or any other negative thing you have said. Ok you can eat 5000 calories a day and not gain an ounce, great, good for you but most of us cannot. I hope it keeps working for you but if your hormones ever become normal female hormones you will likely be in trouble so advising other people to eat massive quantities just feels like you are trying to doom them to failure.
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FoCoAlphaNerd wrote: »From the other end of the spectrum, how comfortable are guys with dating a girl who is taller than them? I must admit, I've always sort of liked the idea, never been able to pull it off though. It's a damn shame there is no WNBA team in my town.
If she is attractive to you why not. I had girls who where attractive to me who had to be over 6". I also had a chick who was like an inch taller than me and said "You must be this tall to ride this ride" I was just like whatever.
You ever see a guy dance with a girl a foot taller than him. Yes I have done that before too with the college basketball team. I actually don't know for sure if she is that much taller than me. At least by 10 inches she was taller though.
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Why am I not surprised that the article is written by a feminist mangina.
"Despite what we tell ourselves, the male beauty standard isn’t about what women think men should look like; it’s brought onto us by other men."
Yep, that's our fault too, guys, along with seemingly everything else in this *kitten* up world.
So, seriously, how many of you guys are going to the gym and working hard to look good because of other men? How many of you guys are at the gym thinking, 'man, gotta keep at it or I'll be embarrassed the next time some movie star posts something on twitter?'
On the other hand, how many of you guys keep pushing yourself based on a fear of being left alone all your life, since you probably can't sit on a bar stool and just have woman after woman offer to buy you drinks? How many of you guys have had to sit around listening to your SO or gal pals swoon mightily over the pics of these guys, consequently being led to ask yourself, "What's wrong with me?" (I quit doing that before even graduating high school because it just seemed rude to my female friends or girlfriend).
How many of you guys have looked at the fact that around 70% of divorces are initiated by women and thought, "I'd better get in shape before she leaves me for someone else more attractive." How many of you guys have seen married women hitting on you (or your wife hitting on another guy) because you (or he) was in better shape than the husband, and ended up reaching the conclusion, "I need to get in better shape!"
I bet the author didn't even bother to ask a handful of his fellow maginas what they thought. I'm surprised he didn't blame the 'patriarchy.'
I am not one of the first bold and neither are my friends. And yes we go to the gym to look better for women or for our selfs. It is not about being in a competition to other men because that does not matter.
Where did you get this second bold stats from? DO you see where your going with this that women are so superficial that when a more attractive person comes around that the women is going to leave? Is there not going to be a better, stronger, and more attractive person than every single person?0 -
I don't think women are doing that either typically.So, seriously, how many of you guys are going to the gym and working hard to look good because of other men? How many of you guys are at the gym thinking, 'man, gotta keep at it or I'll be embarrassed the next time some movie star posts something on twitter?'
So I'm not sure how that's a valid comment.
While yes- we tend to "dress" for other women... that's out side of the gym- that's something we do before we step outside our houses- we don't set up our workouts to make us look better to other woman.
- And certainly not because some movie star posts something- that's just silly.0 -
I don't think women are doing that either typically.So, seriously, how many of you guys are going to the gym and working hard to look good because of other men? How many of you guys are at the gym thinking, 'man, gotta keep at it or I'll be embarrassed the next time some movie star posts something on twitter?'
So I'm not sure how that's a valid comment.
While yes- we tend to "dress" for other women... that's out side of the gym- that's something we do before we step outside our houses- we don't set up our workouts to make us look better to other woman.
- And certainly not because some movie star posts something- that's just silly.
The only men who I feel might want to look good for other men are the ones who are attractive to men.
Be embarrassed what some movie star post of twitter. People really care about that? My vote is NO. Are there other who care about what a celebrity post and feel embarrassed about it if they don't fit it?0 -
I'll admit to purposely avoiding 'fitspiration' posts because they make me feel bad. In part because I feel like they're saying that if I don't look as hot as the perfect model in the picture it's because I'm not trying hard enough but also because even if I did try harder I still couldn't look like her (deadlifts won't give me bigger boobs). I don't get the same feelings from fashion ads or movies perhaps because they don't tout the same messages?0
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I don’t think men care so much about each other’s’ looks, but rather, what they do. If you can hold your liquor, know how to play cards, maybe drive a golf ball a certain distance, run and/or lift weights periodically, dress reasonably, have cool hobbies, keeps company with attractive women, etc., the guys in your circle don’t care if you have visible abs or a V-shaped lower torso, manscape appropriately, can pull off yoga poses, can grow a fancy beard, etc. I’d rather hang out with a guy with a pot belly that knows that 3 of a kind > 2 pairs or how much space a given NFL team has under the salary cap than a fitter guy who knows how to properly moisturize or where to get a decent manicure.
There aren’t really any men in pop culture that I really want to emulate, my ideal body image is probably that of a pro welterweight MMA fighter, which I’ve come fairly close to achieving at 6 ft, 170lbs. If I had to choose one, maybe Jason Statham because he comes across as genuine and not trying to be a sex symbol.
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Why am I not surprised that the article is written by a feminist mangina.
"Despite what we tell ourselves, the male beauty standard isn’t about what women think men should look like; it’s brought onto us by other men."
Yep, that's our fault too, guys, along with seemingly everything else in this *kitten* up world.
So, seriously, how many of you guys are going to the gym and working hard to look good because of other men? How many of you guys are at the gym thinking, 'man, gotta keep at it or I'll be embarrassed the next time some movie star posts something on twitter?'
On the other hand, how many of you guys keep pushing yourself based on a fear of being left alone all your life, since you probably can't sit on a bar stool and just have woman after woman offer to buy you drinks? How many of you guys have had to sit around listening to your SO or gal pals swoon mightily over the pics of these guys, consequently being led to ask yourself, "What's wrong with me?" (I quit doing that before even graduating high school because it just seemed rude to my female friends or girlfriend).
How many of you guys have looked at the fact that around 70% of divorces are initiated by women and thought, "I'd better get in shape before she leaves me for someone else more attractive." How many of you guys have seen married women hitting on you (or your wife hitting on another guy) because you (or he) was in better shape than the husband, and ended up reaching the conclusion, "I need to get in better shape!"
I bet the author didn't even bother to ask a handful of his fellow maginas what they thought. I'm surprised he didn't blame the 'patriarchy.'
WOW.0 -
Wrong.crystalflame wrote: »How is that giving anyone an excuse? I also stated that people should be the best they can be, working with what they've been given. Unfortunately, the media doesn't portray that as good enough.
Nice try though.
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I bet the author didn't even bother to ask a handful of his fellow manginas what they thought. I'm surprised he didn't blame the 'patriarchy.'
Heh, you. I like you.
I actually feel pity for the weakness within the writer of the article. Does the ADA cover people who were born without a backbone?0 -
I just wanted to be clear that SOMEONE heard you.
even if it wasn't relevant that I heard you because- well I already knew what you were saying- but at least it was heard.
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Burt_Huttz wrote: »Why am I not surprised that the article is written by a feminist mangina.
"Despite what we tell ourselves, the male beauty standard isn’t about what women think men should look like; it’s brought onto us by other men."
Yep, that's our fault too, guys, along with seemingly everything else in this *kitten* up world.
So, seriously, how many of you guys are going to the gym and working hard to look good because of other men? How many of you guys are at the gym thinking, 'man, gotta keep at it or I'll be embarrassed the next time some movie star posts something on twitter?'
On the other hand, how many of you guys keep pushing yourself based on a fear of being left alone all your life, since you probably can't sit on a bar stool and just have woman after woman offer to buy you drinks? How many of you guys have had to sit around listening to your SO or gal pals swoon mightily over the pics of these guys, consequently being led to ask yourself, "What's wrong with me?" (I quit doing that before even graduating high school because it just seemed rude to my female friends or girlfriend).
How many of you guys have looked at the fact that around 70% of divorces are initiated by women and thought, "I'd better get in shape before she leaves me for someone else more attractive." How many of you guys have seen married women hitting on you (or your wife hitting on another guy) because you (or he) was in better shape than the husband, and ended up reaching the conclusion, "I need to get in better shape!"
I bet the author didn't even bother to ask a handful of his fellow maginas what they thought. I'm surprised he didn't blame the 'patriarchy.'
WOW.
Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Oddly enough his attitude toward the writer of the article doesn't do much to support his case, actually quite the opposite. As yessimpson pointed out above, he's pretty much doing exactly what the article says by shaming the guy and attacking his masculinity for simply having a different view than his own.
Not to mention the divorce rate statistic is a pretty bogus argument. Not only am I not sure of it's accuracy (I remember hearing 60%) but if, god forbid, my SO were to either cheat on me, become suddenly dependent on drugs and alcohol and do nothing about it, become physically or mentally abusive to me or the children (hypothetical because I don't have kids.) I would for SURE file for a divorce and I feel that I, or anyone else, would be very justified in doing so. That said, I would be still adding to that statistic all the same.
I can only assume that the majority of people doing the filing for divorces are the ones who feel they had been "wronged" in some way (legitimate or not.) The only way that statistic would be telling at all is if the majority of reasons women filed for divorce more than men were simply because they were more easily becoming disinterested, bored, dissatisfied with their husbands over time. Otherwise, we don't know why it is so it really tells us nothing at all.
Even if we don't agree with the writers perspective, I don't feel like he was TRYING to put down men at all, actually I think he was trying to be empowering:
"Be fit, sure. Be healthy. But fit and healthy—just like beauty—comes in more than one shape."
But I guess we all read into things with our own person perspective and see what we want to see. This dude is clearly antifeminism so that's his take away I guess.... *shrug*0 -
I can't really comment but all I know is that steroid use by the average Joe is through the roof these days.0
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Are there really lots of (straight) women out there getting in shape and trying to look good primarily for other women?? I have never experienced that.0
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