No sugar - My son is 12 and 234 pounds!
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This child needs a proper lifestyle plan not a cut out sugar, please get appropriate help.
Introduce him to sparkteens and let him take control...he's too old for you to do it for him, you need to give him the tools and support and encouragement and empower him to make his own changes ...he will be much stronger for it
Also get him active, go out more for walks, bike rides, find physically active fun things to do
Time to step up and be the mother he needs
(My 13 year old son weighs around 90lbs..he bikes 3 miles to and from school every day, opts to do fitness at the school gym in compulsory extension classes, plays football with his friends in the street and spends inordinate amounts of time on the x-box and computer...I do understand how difficult it can be..it's about balance)0 -
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Wow, 234 lbs is considered overweight for an adult, let alone a 12 yr old. I don't see any judgement going on here, just fact. That is morbidly obese, this kid needs to eat healthier and exercise. I'm in my thirties and 6'2", 234 lbs would be considered overweight for me! It's just plain tragic for a 12 yr old.0
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When I was 12, I was about 5 feet even, and struggling to break 80 pounds. I did gain 20 pounds and 6 inches between 12 and 13, though, which is not unusual for a girl. I have a daughter about to turn 13 next week, she's 5'5" and about 100 pounds. But a 12 year old boy is different. My brothers both grew up before out, but I'm sure it goes the other way for some. (And, until you have lived with a kid that hits 6 feet before he gets to 100 pounds? You have not known gangly and clumsy) However, this seems like the poor kid is getting overfed from both parents....Mom dismisses his "genetic body type" and dad feeds him like he's a foie gras goose. Poor guy.
Don't arbitrarily rely on cutting sugar to solve the poor kid's problems. By all means, if he's in danger of Type 2 beetus already (a real possibility at that weight) you will need to cut his carbohydrate intake across the board. however, simply saying "no sweets ever again" is not going to help him sustain a healthy relationship with food in the long run. (And, at 12, "the long run" is hopefully about 80 years!) As a mom, I'd say your best bet with him would be a plan that includes the following:
1) Fun sports. what does he like to do? If he feels shut out of athletic stuff (which can be cliquey for boys and girls both) look in to different options that define success on building a personal best...strength stuff, rock climbing, offbeat games like quiddich and ultimate frisbee...anything that makes moving and working the muscles into something fun and not a chore.
2) Teach the kid to cook. Some of the best times to talk to a tween or teen about STUFF is while you are both chopping veggies and prepping for dinner. My 12 year old loves salad mostly because she likes picking out colorful veggies and chopping them up with a good knife. Kids who learn to cook not only get a valuable life skill, but they also naturally absorb a good foundation in understanding what they are putting in to their bodies at every meal.
3) Empower him to make his own food choices from a place of education. Let him CHOOSE between indulgences. Make treats into TREATS...cake on special occasions, candy as a seldom-seen luxury. Let him decide...Salad for lunch and a burger for dinner? Or maybe a burger for lunch and fish for dinner? Which do you want today?
4) Zero calorie drinks and milk only. If he isn't drinking water, he's drinking milk. I know people have mentioned activity levels back in the 70s and 80s...but also know this...in the 70s, kids drank twice as much milk as soda. By 2000, they drank twice as much soda as milk. Have him try fizzy water, even the flavored but unsweetened seltzers (Polar is a popular brand in the NE US). Iced Tea with lemon and no sugar. The world of calorie cutting is a lot easier for those who don't expect drinks to be sweet all the time.0 -
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First of all, I think you and your son's dad need to have a meeting with your son's doctor so that the doctor can fully explain the situation to your son's dad. This really needs to be a lifestyle change for him, and that can only happen if everyone is on board.
It would probably also be good for you to sit down with your son and discuss how his diet impacts his weight which is resulting in his knee pain. If he wants the knee pain to go away (and who wouldn't?) he needs to work on losing weight in a healthy way. Your son is old enough at 12 to tell his dad that he doesn't want a burger or fritters.
All of this.0 -
I think the sugar she is referring to is refined sugar, and it is perfectly acceptable to demonize it. Refined sugar is terrible and a HUGE component to weight gain. Processed foods, and MSG are another.
There are so many resources out there for food and nutrition. Its not hard to find if you want it.
Fruits and veggies, water, and lean protein. Those are the bases of a healthy diet. Don't be too scared of the high calorie healthy fats such as extra virgin olive oil, and avacados. Almonds are another source of protein and healthy fat.
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With a doctor's note, a child can participate in weight watchers. maybe learning from another adult (rather than a parent) can help. good luck with everything. health. family situation, etc.
Also it will give him tools and learn on his own how to eat and how to enjoy treats in moderation and how to do activity.
disclaimer: I am not at all affiliated with WW. I just know the program is helpful to many (and me in the past).0 -
I think the sugar she is referring to is refined sugar, and it is perfectly acceptable to demonize it.
No, it's not. Sugar is not the devil. Perfectly healthy diets can have refined sugar.Refined sugar is terrible and a HUGE component to weight gain. Processed foods, and MSG are another.
You're overcomplicating things. Overconsumption of calories is a component to weight gain. In all actuality, it's the ONLY component to weight gain. Processed foods are not "bad", either. I eat processed foods. I am more than perfectly healthy. "Processed" is a wishy washy, indefinable term anyway. It means nothing, really. Having additives or preservatives in food does not negate or prevent your body from using the nutrients already in it, nutrition doesn't work that way.
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I used to work for weight watchers and saw a lot of meetings and they are mostly female and really are not the right situation for a young man who needs to stand on his own feet and makes his way in life.
The conversation was obviously weight related but it was like getting together with the girls for drinks, what young lad wants to hear about menopause, motherhood and babies. Not the right place for a young boy. We had a young lad once and the mood of the room changed as the conversation had to be made appropriate for a lad being present.0 -
ogmomma2012 wrote: »reginab1984 wrote: »This is what comes from doing away with gym class in schools, eliminating competitive sports from children's' lives, and allowing them to spend every waking hour holed up in their rooms playing video games. When I was a kid, me, my brother, and our friends could eat whatever we wanted, even hamburgers and French fries every day, and still be rail thin. Why? Because we were outside playing from morning until night. The idea of having to put a 12 year old boy on a diet saddens me to no end, especially when I think about how easily the situation could have been avoided.
That's quite a judgement considering you know next to nothing about this mom and her son, only that the son is over weight and was taught bad eating habits. I did P.E. and was out all day. I was still a chubby tween/teen so you cannot blame it all on this broken system anyway. "When I was a kid" Should never be used because we don't all share the same hobbies, food habits, body chemisty or metabolism.
I think her judgement is fair considering a mother referred to her child as a barrel on legs.
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AllOutof_Bubblegum wrote: »I think the sugar she is referring to is refined sugar, and it is perfectly acceptable to demonize it.
No, it's not. Sugar is not the devil. Perfectly healthy diets can have refined sugar.Refined sugar is terrible and a HUGE component to weight gain. Processed foods, and MSG are another.
You're overcomplicating things. Overconsumption of calories is a component to weight gain. In all actuality, it's the ONLY component to weight gain. Processed foods are not "bad", either. I eat processed foods. I am more than perfectly healthy. "Processed" is a wishy washy, indefinable term anyway. It means nothing, really. Having additives or preservatives in food does not negate or prevent your body from using the nutrients already in it, nutrition doesn't work that way.
I think when people demonise sugar, they are thinking of cutting out chocolate cake, pastries, ice cream and forever lauded donuts and umpteen spoons of sugar in their coffee. Not sugars from fruits and more healthier sources.
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AllOutof_Bubblegum wrote: »I think the sugar she is referring to is refined sugar, and it is perfectly acceptable to demonize it.
No, it's not. Sugar is not the devil. Perfectly healthy diets can have refined sugar.Refined sugar is terrible and a HUGE component to weight gain. Processed foods, and MSG are another.
You're overcomplicating things. Overconsumption of calories is a component to weight gain. In all actuality, it's the ONLY component to weight gain. Processed foods are not "bad", either. I eat processed foods. I am more than perfectly healthy. "Processed" is a wishy washy, indefinable term anyway. It means nothing, really. Having additives or preservatives in food does not negate or prevent your body from using the nutrients already in it, nutrition doesn't work that way.
I not sure if the ongoing "sugar is or isn't the devil" debate will help in this situation. This boy needs to get his nutrition sorted and he needs qualified professionals to guide him and his family now.
And I agree with Christine, it is the added sugars people are talking about.0 -
I think the sugar she is referring to is refined sugar, and it is perfectly acceptable to demonize it. Refined sugar is terrible and a HUGE component to weight gain. Processed foods, and MSG are another.
There are so many resources out there for food and nutrition. Its not hard to find if you want it.
Fruits and veggies, water, and lean protein. Those are the bases of a healthy diet. Don't be too scared of the high calorie healthy fats such as extra virgin olive oil, and avacados. Almonds are another source of protein and healthy fat.
1. MSG has been tested time and time again--and they've come up empty. Do you know the origin story for that particular myth?
2. As of this morning, I have lost 39 pounds while eating refined sugar and processed foods. Those items are very easy to overeat and that definitely leads to obesity, but the sugary goodies are not harmful in and of themselves.
3. While we're on the subject of processed foods, maybe watch a youtube video about how things like coffee and canned food and oils are made. Or hey, even things like almonds. Lots and lots and lots of processing.
4. There are many sources out there for food and nutrition and they all contradict each other.0 -
AllOutof_Bubblegum wrote: »I think the sugar she is referring to is refined sugar, and it is perfectly acceptable to demonize it.
No, it's not. Sugar is not the devil. Perfectly healthy diets can have refined sugar.Refined sugar is terrible and a HUGE component to weight gain. Processed foods, and MSG are another.
You're overcomplicating things. Overconsumption of calories is a component to weight gain. In all actuality, it's the ONLY component to weight gain. Processed foods are not "bad", either. I eat processed foods. I am more than perfectly healthy. "Processed" is a wishy washy, indefinable term anyway. It means nothing, really. Having additives or preservatives in food does not negate or prevent your body from using the nutrients already in it, nutrition doesn't work that way.
I not sure if the ongoing "sugar is or isn't the devil" debate will help in this situation. This boy needs to get his nutrition sorted and he needs qualified professionals to guide him and his family now.
True
we're veering off track.
Speaking of the OP.. where has she gone??
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Hopefully, she is off seeking some help for her and the lad.
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Paleo/primal! Cut out processed crap. Meat and veggies! Means not only no sugar but no 'boxed' food, i.e. dehydrated food which offers little fiber or satiety. http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-shopping-list/#axzz3J0th9aYE-3
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My son sees his dad daily (court ordered), and their time together almost always includes food - usually cheeseburgers or fritters with half and half for a beverage.
If you are able to teach your son how to eat well and make good choices you won't have to worry about him binging when he visits his dad. And if your son's father is a reasonable man who cares about his child's well-being he will cooperate and try to find different ways to bond with him.
Suggest they join a boxing gym together - or a team sport if they prefer. Anything that they can enjoy together and bond over that doesn't include copious amounts of junkfood.
I wish your son well and I hope you do everything in your power to help him through this battle - it was not his choices that got him here, but he still has to live with the consequences.0 -
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Man, I don't have any advice... but my heart totally goes out to a kid who's 234lbs! I remember being 180lbs as a 12 year old and then 200lbs as a 16 year old. Definitely do what you can, now! I'm sure that I would have been really mad at my mom for trying to make me eat healthy.... but when I grew up as an adult it would be something that I would really appreciate.
Be consistent as you can! And tough it out despite what his dad does.0 -
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s2konstantine wrote: »Paleo/primal! Cut out processed crap. Meat and veggies! Means not only no sugar but no 'boxed' food, i.e. dehydrated food which offers little fiber or satiety. http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-shopping-list/#axzz3J0th9aYE
Yes! Hey there single mother, make everything from scratch following arbitrary guidelines with no basis in anthropology or biology!0 -
Well I guess the OP wasn't really prepared to responses in this thread or it isn't a serious thread to begin with because she never came back.
Its only been 24hrs. Its possible that she is at work or otherwise engaged and unable to respond. I wouldn't jump to harsh conclusions just yet..0 -
Agreed.Well I guess the OP wasn't really prepared to responses in this thread or it isn't a serious thread to begin with because she never came back.
Its only been 24hrs. Its possible that she is at work or otherwise engaged and unable to respond. I wouldn't jump to harsh conclusions just yet..
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herrspoons wrote: »s2konstantine wrote: »Paleo/primal! Cut out processed crap. Meat and veggies! Means not only no sugar but no 'boxed' food, i.e. dehydrated food which offers little fiber or satiety. http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-shopping-list/#axzz3J0th9aYE
What a fantastically bad idea.
Agreed. Forcing a 12-year-old, who is just beginning to get into the angsty, rebellious, teenage years, on the most restrictive fad diet out there, is not going to go over well.
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Very true. You want to keep it as simple as possibleAlyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »herrspoons wrote: »s2konstantine wrote: »Paleo/primal! Cut out processed crap. Meat and veggies! Means not only no sugar but no 'boxed' food, i.e. dehydrated food which offers little fiber or satiety. http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-shopping-list/#axzz3J0th9aYE
What a fantastically bad idea.
Agreed. Forcing a 12-year-old, who is just beginning to get into the angsty, rebellious, teenage years, on the most restrictive fad diet out there, is not going to go over well.
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ogmomma2012 wrote: »My 2 Year old is 34lbs and can push a completely full shopping cart. Does his weight alone determine his health? Probably not.
I think a goal of 150 for the OPs child would be sufficient as any drop in calories is going to have a major effect for a while.
If he eats a healthy diet, it is not a problem. I looked up children's height and weight charts and he is the height of a 4 year.
I really feel mother and child have to be involved to get this 12 year back on track. He has to want to do it and both him and his mother need to be given the knowledge and skills to do it. A perfect scenario would be to get the father involved as well. Oh for a perfect world.
My son is on the hefty side, I'm not denying that. Last time he was measured he was about 37in. tall. But he also regularly lifts pretty heavy things for a 2YO.
Yes, perfect world is team up OP and ex-husband to help the kid get on a good path.0 -
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Well, this is just sad.
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